Various

“ Miss Wortley's door and the door opposite opened simultaneously. There were two splashes like water thrown from jugs, and I fancy that more than one person got wet. It isn't easy to discover exactly what is happening when two people are shouting at the tops of their voices in different languages, but I didn't gather that they quite cleared the matter up to their mutual satisfaction. ”

“ From all sides news pours in concerning the rush for American managers of English concerns. At last the excellence of the American businessman's habits are being recognised, probably not a little owing to the vogue of such plays as Get-rich-quick Wallingford, Broadway Jones and The Fortune Hunters, wherein we see hustling methods justifying by their success all the odd measures which led to dollars. That the dominating business man who thus rises to greatness has to marry a clerk or typist is perhaps only a detail, but if the plays are to be taken as a guide it is expected of him. ”

“ Matilda seemed rather uncertain about it, but after a time recognised that I was right, and we went up to Miss Wortley's room. I had to knock loudly on her door before I got any answer, but eventually a sleepy voice said, "Come in."
I didn't think that we had better do that, so I knocked again.
"All right, you can bring in the water."
"It isn't exactly your shaving water—in fact it's hardly time to get up yet," I shouted.
"What's the matter? Is the place on fire?" I heard sounds as of a person getting out of bed, so I said, "You needn't get up, it's only us. ”

“ Throughout ten minutes he was on his legs Murray, in unconscious sympathy with the hearse plumes that nodded over him from the side gallery at his back, spoke in funereal note. In the Commons so frank a confession, so ample an apology, would have been accepted with burst of general cheering. Shrewd Members know that an assured method of gaining temporary popularity is to commit a breach of order and take early opportunity of withdrawing anything offensive that may have been said, apologising for anything unseemly that may have been done. ”

“ There are dark and deep waters of passion swirling in and out of these simple lives, and the author, whose method is broadly impressionist rather than meticulously realistic, contrives cleverly to suggest that what he imagines has in fact been closely observed. He can make and tell a story and he can marshal words with a certain magic. ”

“ You must not expect a detailed criticism. All I can promise you is that, if you are a Wodehouseite, you will find here the author at his delightful best. He is winged and doth range. The heroes of these tales include (I quote from the cover) "a barber, a gardener, a play-writer, a tramp, a waiter, a golfer, a stockbroker, a butler, a bank clerk, an assistant master at a private school, a Peer's son and a Knight of the Round Table." So there you are; and, if you don't see what you want in the window, you must be hard to please. ”

“ Worthington Evans, having as usual, after the leisure of a week-end, provided himself with collection of conundrums based on its working, knew that when he came down to-day he would find Masterman's seat empty.
Marked the occasion by presenting himself in mourning array—not the profoundest black such as Hamlet upon occasion affected, but a prevalence of decorous colour provided in what is known in drapers' shops as "The Mitigated Affliction Department." ”

“ Strangers at back of gallery, hearing no voice and seeing the Noble Lord standing at the table nervously wringing his hands and twiddling his fingers, thought he was conversing with the Leader of the Opposition by means of the deaf and dumb alphabet.
Ampthill above these evidences of human weakness. Lansdowne in characteristically chivalrous manner suggested that motion for Committee should be withdrawn, affording opportunity to Noble Lords to consider Murray's statement and the best course to be taken upon it. Ampthill not allured by such considerations. ”

“ Ferdinand is called upon to show himself worthy, but the old Adam conquers.
First Scene.—Outside General Devereux's tent. Soldiers, Staff Officers, etc. General sits in full uniform at a table. Enter Joe, a very fat soldier. He trips over his rifle, turns a somersault and salutes. The General points to the left and Joe goes off. Enter Phyllis, who talks and gesticulates with feeling. Projection on screen:—
Pop, I love him!
Enter Ferdinand. Much talk and discussion. Projection on screen:—
You must prove yourself worthy of her! ”

“ King Sisovath of Cambodia, we learn from Le Petit Journal, was so pleased with a white elephant sent him by the Governor-General of French Indo-China that he has raised the animal—a fine female—to the dignity of a Princess. ”

“ A special regulation further requires that persons more than fifty inches in circumference, and fire-eaters who have already marked their men, shall dine by themselves, or at any rate only at a high table where there is no vis-á-vis. And page-boys are to be compelled to use hooks-and-eyes, unless they are engaged for a wedding or funeral salvo. ”

“ The implication is very unpleasant.
"It is generally reported," says a contemporary, "that Sir Edward Grey speaks no German, and French very badly. M. Venizelos, the Greek Prime Minister, declared that he had the greatest difficulty in understanding Sir Edward's French." As a matter of fact a little bird tells us that on this occasion our Foreign Secretary was speaking Greek.
"Mr. Asquith," said The Times, "in a massage to the Liberal candidate for South Bucks, emphasizes the prime importance of the Irish issue." There is, of course, nothing like massage for rubbing things in. ”

“ O'Brien resigns his seat for Cork City and is shortly afterwards re-elected without a contest.
June, 1914.
Mr. Asquith, in moving the Second Reading of the Home Rule Bill, does not mention Mr. O'Brien, who swoons in his place and is carried speechless from the House of Commons.
On the following day Mr. O'Brien issues to the world a manifesto of 60,000 words, in which he describes Mr. Redmond as "a palsied purveyor of pledge-breaking platitudes," and announces that the Irish question can be settled only by the good will of men of all parties. ”

“ Joe is seen running at about seventy-eight miles an hour, pursued by twenty-three Indians. He trips over a stone and falls into the water. Enter [pg 150] Ferdinand on horseback. He dismounts and fires a revolver. Four Indians bite the dust. He fires again. Four more Indians bite the dust and the rest fly. Ferdinand shades his right eye, peers into the river, dives in and presently reappears with Joe. The latter feels anxiously in his pockets and produces a flask. He hands it to Ferdinand, who drinks. Enlargement of Ferdinand drinking.
Part III.
Phyllis again to the rescue. ”

“ Redmond says nothing.
Mr. O'Brien states that "the truckling truculence of a mock-modest monster of meretricious mendacity cannot be allowed to prevail against a policy of sober and sympathetic silence." ”

“ Lloyd George, always ready to oblige, explains that scheme in question was prepared last Autumn, had frequently been referred to by Masterman whilst still at the Treasury.
"I am sure," he added, with twinkle in his eye, "we owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Joynson-Hicks for calling further attention to the matter at this particular moment."
Opposition not to be put off by badinage. Discover in apparently innocent accident evidence of that deep-seated tendency to import bribery and corruption into by-elections of which one of the Whips was this afternoon made a terrible example. ”

“ By kind permission of Lord Claud Hamilton representatives of all the other railway companies are to be present to take notes, like the foreign military attachés in a war. A good "movie" should result.
Another film which should provide entertainment and instruction in the highest degree is the "Day in the Life of Mr. C. K. Shorter" which is now being arranged for. The great critic will be followed hour by hour with faithful persistence. He will be seen editing The Sphere with one hand and putting all the writing fellows in their place with the other. ”

“ All jackets are now made to reach to the knees, with shoulders that project beyond the wearer's body one foot on each side. The trousers are wide at the knees and tight at the ankles, and are very effective. Walking-sticks must not be worn with these suits. Messrs. Tarn hope to bring back the frock coat very shortly, especially for politicians.
The American scholar who has just been appointed to the Chair of English Composition at Oxford has already made some drastic reforms. No longer may the student write that he has a book "at home" ”

“ The second mistake, as it seems to me, in a novel which is in many ways a very clever piece of realism, is a strong feminist or, at any rate, anti-masculine bias. Against the cunning dissection of the character of Charles Giddey, a worthless and conceited egotist, I have no complaint to make. ”

“ Then Chalmers and Simcox bore down on Filmer with statistics about our booming trade. When we reached the next station, Filmer darted out of the compartment, declining to travel any longer with a set of miserable Cobdenite Little Englanders. I was horrified—not at the absence of Rodgers and Filmer, which could have been endured—but at the idea that the gaps they left in the carriage might be tilled up by even worse persons than politicians. Suppose golfers took their places. ”

“ But it seems unlikely, to say the least, that the heroine, after being deserted by the man she really loves, should, considering her very erotic and unprincipled temperament, find complete happiness in the publication of a successful novel and in devotion to her child. ”

“ As we see him at the end he is a tamed man, dependent on female protection against the wiles of a designing widow, and established, at great cost, with his niece in the noble and ancient mansion of her desire. There were subsidiary love-episodes, of course, but these, though novel in some particulars, were relatively perfunctory. The character of James Ollerenshaw was the real matter of resistance.
Miss Nancy Price's Helen was a very probable performance. ”

“ James Cantlie has reported that "the placing of a tuning-fork; against the body of a patient enables him to gauge the limits of the liver with almost hair-breadth precision." He believes that musical diagnosis will prove reliable in the case of broken bones, and asserts that already it has been proved that a fatty liver gives out tones distinct from a cirrhosed liver. ”

“ Chalmers makes a mild proposal for the imprisonment of the Armament Ring which is gnawing at the country's vitals. And when there has been a by-election and both sides claim the moral victory I have no doubt that the men in signal-boxes think that murder is taking place in our carriage.
However, one day Filmer made a reference to Marconi speculations which caused Rodgers to shake the dust from his feet (an easy thing on the Great Suburban line) and leave the compartment at the next station. ”

“ They have these things in nearly all Swiss Hotels and you have to put up with them. As a matter of fact Matilda and I enjoyed ourselves. We supped well and danced quite often. At 3.30 a.m. we set out for our rooms. We took a lighted candle with us to keep us warm as we went. The way to get the most warmth from a candle is to sit round it. As the corridor was cold, we sat round the candle outside Miss Wortley's room, but this was quite accidental. ”

“ Each of the principals, seconded by his particular waiter, after carefully taking his opponent's range and bearings, will suspire and hit him in the eye. The more replete combatant, having the greater equatorial velocity, will probably win, but the tailor can do a good deal towards securing a flat trajectory and freedom from swerve. ”

“ The General rises and salutes with much emotion. All present salute, Ferdinand clasps Phyllis in his arms to kiss her.
Seventh Scene.—The Kiss—about twenty-five times life-size.
Mistress (discussing housemaid who has given notice) . "Well, of course, if she wants to go she must. But it seems foolish of her if her only reason is that she wants a change. She won't get a better place than this."
Cook. "That's just what i tell the silly girl, Ma'am. 'Depend upon it,' I says to her, 'you'll only be going out of the frying-pan into the fire.'"
"Mr. ”

“ It gives dignity and an enhanced value to a vulgar agricultural utensil. And the Society can be called 'The Royalists' for short. Its single rule is to be this, that any member speaking of any politician of the opposite Party except in terms of eulogy shall be fined ten shillings and sixpence. ”

“ Enter Ferdinand and Joe running. They climb into the machine, the motor is started and they shoot out of the picture.
Fourth Scene.—The sky. An aeroplane flying very high and very fast.
Fifth Scene.—A forest. Phyllis is tied to a tree and three Red Indians are about to run her through with spears. Suddenly they look upwards as if disturbed by some noise. At this moment Ferdinand drops to the ground from the top of the picture. He at once shoots the Indians and releases Phyllis. ”

“ As he shrewdly remarked, if he consented to withdraw his motion it could not be revived. All he would consent to was not to insist upon proceeding with business at to-day's sitting. Stipulated that his opportunity should not be hampered by "unavoidable delay."
On this understanding House adjourned, hoarse plumes in side galleries forlornly nodding themselves out.
Business done.—Lloyd George at bay in the Commons. His famous Budget attacked afresh on motion of Amendment to Address. Ananias and Sapphira personally mentioned in course of debate. Amendment negatived by 301 votes against 213. ”

“ The latest news to reach us as we go to press is that the directors of various London music halls are thinking seriously whether or not they will call in American assistance for their revues, either producers, actors or musicians. ”