Various

“ John Ferguson urges confidently the will of God that James, whom he believes blood-guilty, should not avoid arrest, and refuses to hide him. But when young Andrew insists on giving himself up to save James and his own peace the old man's faith, weakened, falters; he protests in his anguish, but rallies to accept this last blow from the hand of God—made none the easier to bear by the arrival, just a fatal fortnight late, of the money from his brother, a forgetful sort of man, who had mistaken the date of the mail. ”

“ A few days later I came upon Suzanne sitting at her writing-table and examining a cheque with a mystified air.
"Anything wrong?" I asked.
"I don't quite know," she replied. "I sent Angela this cheque the other day to pay for my ticket for the Law-Courts' Revel, and she says the Bank people have returned it to her. And it's marked 'R.D.' in red ink. Who is 'R.D.'?"
"He's the gentleman who censors cheques; and he has a way of disqualifying them when there's not enough cash to pay them. Suzanne, what have you done with all that money I paid into your account last Monday?" ”

“ I felt bound in honour to comply, if possible, with Filmer's comparatively simple request. By chance I ran across Timberley, a man brimful of resource and suggestion. "You want a brewery," he said; "that's the milieu for a raven. To my mind no brewery is artistically complete without one. A raven hopping about the casks gives a je ne sais quoi, a cachet, to the premises. You should get an introduction to a manager." ”

“ Lloyd George, implicit in the defence of Klingsor made by the musical critic of The Daily Mail, indirectly confirmed his own impressions. It was true that the Premier did not physically resemble an Arab sheikh, and his knowledge of medicine, science or philosophy, to say nothing of geography, was decidedly jejune, but the sad case of President Wilson made it all too clear that he was capable of exerting a hypnotic influence on his colleagues. Mr. Keynes did not think Mr. Lloyd George was an Aristotelian; he preferred to consider him an unconscious Pragmatist. ”

“ Punch cannot trust himself to speak with the cold detachment of the critic. He saw life with the clear eye of happy youth and set it down with the easy pen of a ready writer. Coming from New Zealand, through the War, to England, his natural talents were at once recognised, and he won a position for himself on the staff of The Times. ”

“ The latest type of Tank, Mr. Winston Churchill informed the House of Commons, weighs thirty tons and can pass over a brick without crushing it. It is said to be modelled on the Profiteering Act.
The proposal of the Home Secretary to add fifty per cent. to taxi-cab fares and abolish the initial charge of sixpence is said to find favour both with owners and drivers. The men in particular have always chafed at the necessity of messing about with small silver.
Much sympathy is felt locally for the man who in the excitement caused by the declaration of the poll at Paisley lost his corkscrew. ”

“ It is only fair to the tree to point out that if it had known of this it would probably, like the Government, have changed its mind at the last minute.
"One of the problems of civilized humanity," says a writer in The Daily Mail, "is the avoidance of pain-producing elements in ordinary diet." Nowadays it is impossible to eat even so simple a thing as a boiled egg in a restaurant without the risk of being stung. ”

“ It is not known whether his allusion to the Queen's call was intended to refer to the diamond rings upon Her Majesty's fingers or to the scintillating glint in Her Majesty's eyes, but she inclined her head graciously in acknowledgment of his remarks before turning to her partner.
"What say you, my Lord of Leicester?" she asked. "Wilt support a poor weak woman?" ”

“ From his own death-bed Corporal Jack, together with his own love-story and that of his chum Mac, writes what he can of comfort to his friend, and whether his hand or Miss Letts's held the pen the book is the work of someone who knows all about sorrow, and only the initiated—who must be many for a decade to come—will know quite how well it is done. ”

“ I had visions of mass meetings of "well-known" men—"well-known" men marching in procession with flags to Downing Street to demand State recognition, statues and pensions, and insisting that it should be made a penal offence not to recognise their well-known features in the street. ”

“ There are also several young men. To test his abilities in the Admirable Crichton line Diana maroons the most favoured of these, together with three other aspirants to her hand, and her bachelor uncle, on an island in a Scottish loch, hamperless, on a soft day. As the affections of all the lovers remain undimmed, you can guess what kind of a girl Diana must have been. ”

“ A chap that talks disrespectful and ignorant of cows like that didn't oughter be allowed to live. A cow is one of the worstest things you can run up against. I'd rather run into a row of brick houses than one of them nasty leathery old devils; and you can hand the information to your chum George. ”

“ WIZARDS: KLINGSOR AND ANOTHER.
"Another Parsifal ought to be written from the angle of Klingsor, who was an enlightened Arabian, physician, scientist and probably Aristotelian.... The Knights, and Wagner with them, call him a wizard, which was a crude mediæval way of 'slanging' any man who preferred knowledge to superstition."
This remarkable utterance by the musical critic of The Daily Mail in the issue of February 25th has created a sensation in the political world fully equal to that caused by the announcement of Mr. Asquith's return for Paisley. ”

“ Lady Ragnall, who is an old friend to readers of The Ivory Child, reappears here, having in her possession a mysterious and potent herb, which she persuades Allan to inhale. Then the fun takes on a great liveliness. Allan is wafted back to the days when Egypt was under the domination of the Persians, and he in his ancient existence performed some of the very doughtiest of deeds. No one living can tell such a tale with a greater dexterity and zest than Sir Rider. ”

“ Katharine Hilbery, the granddaughter of a great poet, brought up by a father whose only interest is in literature, and a charming mother who wanders in fields of Victorian romance, breaks off her engagement with a civil servant who has more taste than talent for letters, and chooses instead a man slightly below her in social position, but with firmness and decision of character and genuine skill in—what? ”

“ When a man you have known and respected for years is driven by high prices and income-tax to vacate a beautiful home and asks such a simple thing of you as to find a shelter for his bird, you like to do your best. ”

“ All I can say is that you're foolish not taking a good fag when it don't cost you nothing. You don't catch me refusing a free fag even when I don't want to smoke. I takes it and puts it in my cap for when I do. Pounds I've saved that way, pounds and pounds. ”

“ There must be tons of money left, unless the Bank's been speculating with it."
"Let me have a look at that cheque," I said.
She handed it to me and I examined it carefully.
"I see it's signed 'Thine, Suzanne.'"
"But that's how I always sign myself to Angela," she said; "and the Manager distinctly told me to use my customary signature."
"Signature—not signatures," I explained gently. "They're rooted in convention at the Bank and can't bear the least approach to variety. ”

“ So in default he married Alix, who was, incidentally, worth six of her. Meeting his Cherry, disillusioned about an unsatisfactory and unsuccessful Martin, he reaches out his hand for this forbidden fruit. Whereupon Alix, the selfless, drives herself and Martin over a cliff by way of making things smooth for Peter and Cherry, which was inconsiderate, if resourceful; for, while Alix is happily killed, poor Martin only breaks his back, so that all may end with the balance on the credit side of the Recording Angel's ledger with Cherry nursing her hopeless invalid. ”

“ When any friend of mine is in trouble I always make a point of writing and asking if there is anything I can do. As a rule, there isn't, but it is a satisfaction to me to know I have made the offer. When I heard that Filmer was leaving his spacious house and grounds at Hampstead, selling half his furniture and moving into a third storey flat at Battersea, I wrote at once. I received in reply one of his usual barely decipherable scrawls: "Yes, old dear, you might find a home for my raven ”

“ Yes, old chum, there's more in our trade than what most fat-headed passengers thinks. As long as an accident don't occur they don't know what trouble we've been to avoiding of it. I've a good mind to give 'em a smash-up now and again just to teach 'em gratitood. ”

“ With the help of the ace of spades in dummy, the ace of hearts in her own hand, and a discriminating use of her Royal prerogative in the matter of following suit, all went well until the odd trick had been won. After that, however, Sir Francis, who had not doubled without good reason, proceeded to deal out six diamonds, led by the ace, king and queen. His partner unwisely allowed his feelings to get the better of him. ”

“ Macpherson and the Government of Ireland Bill was formally and silently introduced—strange contrast to the long debates and exciting scenes that attended the birth of the Bill's three predecessors in 1886, 1893 and 1912.
Sir Robert Horne explained with his usual clarity and persuasiveness the new Unemployment Insurance Bill. The debate on it was interrupted to allow the discussion of a motion by Sir J. Remnant advocating the increase of police pensions to meet the present cost of living. The police are, with good reason, very popular with the House. ”

“ A kindly benevolent man who never forgets that he himself was once a regimental officer. He will tell you whether or not you may arm your aged grandmother across a busy London street without risking your commission. ”

“ I only say they are clever, arresting and violently individual. Also that, if you have not so far met the work of Mr. Evans, here is your opportunity, in a volume that shows it at its best, or worst. Half-an-hour's reading will give you an excellent idea of it. At the end of that time you will probably send either to the chemist for a restorative or to the bookseller for the two previous volumes. Meanwhile, if I were the writer, I should purchase a bulldog. ”

“ His theme is as old and new as Job. John Ferguson is a saintly Ulster farmer, apostle of the doctrine of non-resistance (rare type in those parts, I understand) and eager justifier of the ways of God to men. Ferguson's beloved farm is mortgaged; foreclosure imminent. Help is confidently expected from brother Andrew in America, but does not come. ”

“ Don't let it grow on you. The Victory Croquet Club is taking my Roller, £7 carriage forward. I gave £3 10s. for it second-hand ten years ago.
"N.B.—I had great difficulty in reading your writing. Don't cultivate illegibility; it's tiresome for your friends."
NO, THIS IS NOT A CELEBRATED COMEDIAN TELLING A FUNNY STORY; IT'S MERELY A PRIVATE CITIZEN THREATENING TO REPORT TO THE PROFITEERING COMMITTEE.
"Referring to charges of drunkenness the Chairman said there were 13 men and five women fined for drunkenness and residing at Chiswick."—Local Paper. ”