Various

“ Of course there can be only one Blondin, and some wiseacres at once applied the proverb about "Give him enough rope," &c. But Blondin never fell. It was quite another Blondin. The Hero of Niagara was not the Villain of the Panama piece—if villain he turn out to be. Blondin is still performing; always walking soberly, though elevated, on the rope that is quite tight. Maybe the rope gets tighter than ever at this jovial period, but Blondin, the Blondin, our Blondin's acts are in the sight of everybody, his proceedings are intelligible to all, though far above the heads of the people. ”

“ Swezey perceived that he was being trifled with, and turned the conversation to the superior culture and scholarship of American politicians, with some thoughts on canvas-backed ducks.
He next applied to a lady, whom he regarded as at once fashionable and well-informed, and asked her, "Who the Souls were, anyhow?"
"Oh, a horrid, stuck-up set of people," said this Pythoness. "They have passwords, and wear a silver gridiron."
"Why on earth do they do that?" asked Swezey.
"No doubt for some improper, or blasphemous reason. Don't be a Soul—you had better be a Skate. I am a Skate. ”

“ At military and hunt balls the Captain is a stalwart performer, a despiser of mere programme engagements, and an invincible cutter-out of timid youths who venture to put forward their claims to a dance that the Captain has mentally reserved for himself. ”

“ At present, ladies are asked to amuse the men—at least that is my experience—and it is rather hard they may not sometimes go on the moors, if they want to. But, at the same time, I quite understand that they are horribly in the way, and I am not surprised that the men don't want women about them when they are shooting. But couldn't they arrange to have a day now and then, when they could shoot all the morning, and devote themselves to amusing the women on the moors after lunch? Otherwise, I think there ought to be a rule that no women are to be invited to shooting-boxes. ”

“ Most of his contemporaries, roystering, healthy, and seemingly flinty-hearted fellows, all of them, have long since gone down, one after another, before some soft and smiling little being, and are now trying to fit their incomes to the keep of perambulators, as well as of dog-carts. ”

“ As I have explained on many occasions, when you have been good and obliging enough to put the same question to me, I am delighted to have the opportunity. You must know that the Union-Jack represents the greatest nation in the world. ”

“ Miss Norreys is very good but the girl is insipid. Miss Compton, as the good-hearted, knowing, fast lady, wins us, as she proves herself to be the real Robin Goodfellow, the real good fairy of the piece, Robin Goodfellow is a misnomer, unless the aforesaid Robin be dissociated from Puck: but it is altogether a bad title as applied to this piece for, as with Mr. Carton's piece at the St. James's, Liberty Hall, it is a title absolutely thrown away. Mr. Forbes Robertson is as good as the part permits, and it is the Author's fault that he is not better. ”

“ Robin Goodfellow, by Mr. Carton, is not a brilliant play, as its dialogue lacks epigrammatic sparkle: neither is it an interesting play, as the plot, such as it is, is too weak for words,—which, by the way, at once accounts for the absence of the sparkle above-mentioned.
Three questions must have occurred to those who have already seen the play, and which those who may hereafter see it will be sure to ask themselves,—and they are these:—
Nearly burning his fingers. ”

“ Aladdin at the Alhambra is a genuine "Ballet Extravaganza," the story being told in pantomimic action, illustrated by M. Jacobi's sympathetic music. Aladdin was an excellent subject for Mr. John Hollingshead to take, though I venture to think that our old friend Blue Beard would be a still better one. The only fault I find with Aladdin is that it is too soon over. It certainly will take rank among the most superb and the most dramatic spectacles ever placed on the Alhambra stage. Aladdin ought to have been made much more of, as a sort of L'Enfant Prodigue. ”

“ To be an Englishman is to be the noblest creature on the earth. One Englishman is worth twenty specimens of other nationalities; he is more conscientious, more clever, more beautiful than any other living man, and it is a good thing for the world that he exists. ”

“ Finally Swezey made the acquaintance of a lady who was rumoured darkly to be learned in the matter. To her he poured forth expressions of his consuming desire to be initiated, and to sacrifice at the shrine.
"There is not any shrine," said his acquaintance. ”

“ Don't you be alarmed, old quill-driver, they'll never run a strike of that kind for more than a day. They'll all come troopin' back, beggin' to be forgiven, and all that, and, by gum, we shall have to take 'em back too, just as we're all congratulatin' ourselves that we shan't have to go to any more blessed pic-nics. That's a woman's idea of enjoyin' herself in the country—nothin' but one round of pic-nics. ”

“ When you stand a Dervish devil-rush, and do as you are bid,
You'll just make a Tommy Atkins of a quiet Coptic sort;
And I shouldn't wonder then, mate, if the Fuzzies see some sport.
Some would like us lads to clear out! Wot say you?
We don't tumble to the Parties and their fakes;
But I guess we don't mean scuttle. If we do,
We shall make the bloomingest o' black mistakes ”

“ Billy (patting and punching away vigorously) . Loyal? Grateful? Ah, Johnnie, you don't understand 'em as well as I do. Cold has got on your liver. You're a brave boy, Johnnie, but just a bit bilious. Building Snow Men isn't just like arranging bouquets, my boy. Let them bicker, Johnnie, and listen to what they say! It may all come in handy by-and-by. We've had gratuitous advice and volunteer plans all round, from Arty Balfour and Joey Chamberlain, as well as Henry, and Teddy, and Tim and John E., and the rest of 'em. Let them talk whilst we build, Johnnie. ”

“ Everyone sincerely hopes that Sir West Ridgway will make a good bag during his visit to the Moors. "Ridgway's Food" is something that can be swallowed easily, and is so palatable as to be quite a More-ish sort of dish. Good luck to the experienced and widely-travelled Sir East-and-West Ridgway. Our English Rosebery couldn't have made a better choice.
To a Brewer (by Our Christmas Clown) .—"Wish you a Hoppy New Year!" [pg 16]
THE MAN WHO WOULD. VI.—THE MAN WHO WOULD BE A SOUL.
Lincoln B. Swezey was a high-toned and inquiring American citizen, who came over to study our Institootions. ”

“ Fierce foes are sometimes easier to deal with than friendly funkers. A "Thunderer" in open opposition affrights a true Titan less than a treacherous Thersites in one's own camp. But, Johnnie, we've got to build up this Snow Man somehow, and on some plan! ”

“ Macdougall, to ask for particulars of how the oil is to be applied. I am sure it is an excellent idea, if the animals could be brought to see it in the same light.
Yours, experimentally,
Darwin Edison Gubbins.
My Dear Mr. Punch,—Smith Minor, who is staying at our house for part of the holidays, said what good fun it would be to try the Macdougall plan on my Uncle from India. He is always cold and shivering. We waited till he was having a nap after dinner in the arm-chair, and we coated him over with butter that Smith Minor got from Cook. (Cook never will give me butter.) ”

“ Why, they haven't got it in them. Fact is, they can't stand one another's company. She says as much, don't she? 'We get so dull when we are all together.' Well, that scarcely looks like goin' off on the strike together, does it? ”

“ Swezey is still going around, and still asking questions. But he has moments of despondency, in which he is inclined to allow that the poor islanders possess, after all, something akin to that boasted inheritance of his native land, the Great American Joke. "Guess they've played it on me," is the burden of his most secret meditations.
THE INFANT'S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE. (Revised to date by Mr. Punch.)
Question. What is an Infant?
Answer. A guileless child who has not yet reached twenty-one years of age.
Q. What is a year?
A. An unknown quantity to a lady after forty. ”