Various

“ Routledge, the republishers of Dickens's works in a very pocketable form, that much of our journeying is done by such gaslight as railway companies supply, and therefore, as this is not always of the most powerful kind, a book in small type, however clear the type may be, is unreadable. ”

“ Business done.—Parish Councils Bill read second time.
Thursday.—Still smiling at Prince Arthur's joke; led up to with great skill; last touch of art given in the look of startled surprise with which he regarded uproariously laughing audience. Was passing eulogy on Rhodes and the Chartered Company, forasmuch as, whilst certainly mowing down the Matabele with the Maxim gun, they had spread the benefits of civilisation, "extending railways, extending telegraphs, extending roads." ”

“ Prince Arthur, with sure aim and light touch, does and says exactly right thing.
By all means let Hodge have a voice in direction of his own affairs; his best friend, the party who spent themselves in his behalf in Corn-Law days, who acted in his best interests whenever question of political enfranchisement or his relations to parson and squire cropped up—the great Tory party would be the very last to slacken effort for his prosperity. So anxious are they on the score, they would not imperil opportunity by throwing out this Bill on the Second Reading. ”

“ Why should this minion, of railway tyrants be permitted to take the beer out of the mouths of honest English working-men? I and a number of my pals are constantly loafing round the station in our suburb waiting for a job of luggage-carrying, or if we aren't exactly at the station, we are always to be found at the Public just opposite. ”

“ The Clark of the House causing a Division.
"Exactly," said the Sage of Queen Anne's Gate. "I spoke for an hour and a half, and Balfour puts what I had meant to say in a phrase. What is all this action in Mashonaland, this spending of money, and making of war, but the Extension of Rhodes?"
Maguire undertook to defend Chartered Company against attack of Sage. "Terrible work, Toby," he said, mopping his heated brow. "Much rather approach Lobengula's kraal itself than stand up and face the House."
Had to be done, however, and Maguire not the man to run away from anything approaching a fight. ”

“ Lion-tamers, like fire, are excellent servants, but bad masters. All alike, all alike, Clive, Warren Hastings, Rajah Brooke, Jamaica Eyre, Bartle Frere, Gordon, all wonderful, and—in the end—very useful, but worrying, worrying!
Lion-Tamer (proceeding) . Walk up, walk up, ladies and gentlemen! All in to begin! See the big black-maned African lion, fresh from Mashonaland wilds; bigger than Churchill ever chased or Selous slew, or Van Amburgh subdued, tamed in the twinkling of an assegai, conquered in the 'tss! of a Hotchkiss, by the Great South African Lion-Tamer, Rhodorowdidow the Rumbistical. ”

“ If you are sufficiently impudent, you may in the past have been a betting-man, a crossing-sweeper, or an unqualified dentist. Q. Will you have any difficulty in securing a theatre? A. Not at all. You will always find someone willing to accept you as a lessee without making any inquiry as to your antecedents. Q. Having obtained a theatre, what is your next step? A. To get together a company. This is easily managed, as the dramatic trade-journals give every week a long list of actors and actresses who are "resting." ”

“ It is an easy matter to get an entire company on excellent terms. Not that money is of any importance; for you may as well promise five pounds a week as five shillings, if you do not intend to pay. Q. Having secured your company, what is the next step? ”

“ Your masterful little ways and monetary success have put a good many backs up. We mustn't run any needless risks, Rhodo. Wouldn't this little toy-whip and this big bottle of (medicated) rose-water do as well?
Lion-Tamer (scornfully) . ”

“ Mr. Toov. You see, my love, it couldn't have been all my fancy, because Phœbe noticed it too. Dear me, it's late; I'd better go and see that everything is locked up. (As he passes Mrs. T.) It's very extraordinary. Surely they don't allow any of the missionaries to smoke at these Zenana meetings, my love—do they?
Mrs. Toov. Of course they don't. I—I am at a loss to understand you. Theophilus, and—and I am going to bed.
Mr. Toov. No, but really—— Why, I see how it was! Depend upon it, my dear, that cabman must have been sitting inside the vehicle smoking, with the windows up, before you got in. ”

“ For having been trusted by the proprietor of the theatre, the advertisement agents will follow suit, and you will obtain sufficient publicity to balance your requirements. Q. And what will take place on and after the opening of the playhouse under your management? A. You will get more or less ready money taken at the doors during five days of the week, with which you can safely decamp without paying anybody on or before the sixth. Q. Will not your sudden departure cause some inconvenience to a large number of persons connected with the enterprise? ”

“ He admitted that both Lord Ripon and Sir Henry Loch did their best in the circumstances for a long time to maintain peace; both urged that war should be avoided.... Mr. Rhodes was Prime Minister of Cape Colony, and obviously Sir Henry Loch had an exceedingly difficult position in dealing as Prime Minister and as the head of the Company with that gentleman, to whom he could not say that he did not quite believe him, and that he was forcing on the war."—Mr. Labouchere on the Chartered Company and Matabeleland. ”

“ Do you know, Cornelia, I—I may be wrong, but I've a very strong suspicion that——
Mrs. Toov. (in terror) . Pa, speak out! In—in the name of Heaven, what is it you suspect?
Mr. Toov. It's getting stronger every moment. I'm sure of it. My love, there's a strange man downstairs in the kitchen!
[pg 233]
Mrs. Toov. (with a gasp of relief) . A man! Oh, this must be seen into at once! (She rings the bell furiously; presently Phœbe appears, evidently only half-awake.) Phœbe, what does this mean? I insist on the truth!
Phœbe. ”

“ It has never been at war except with the aboriginal settlers, who were, at the outset, so lost to all proper feeling as to resent the incursion of the white man, occasionally carrying their prejudice to the absurd extent of eating him. ”

“ Sometimes it was the right leg, sometimes the left. Whether on one or the other—not for a moment on two—he described to the charmed House how the cherished object of Mr. Rhodes, the one desire upon which all the energies of the Chartered Company were bent, was that the men of Matabele should "marry and settle down."
Business done.—Discussion of affairs in Matabeleland.
Friday.—Debate on M'Laren's Amendment to Employers' Liability Bill brought to conclusion at midnight. Thought it would be all over before dinner; dragged on hour after hour with ever deepening depression. ”

“ Business done.—More debate on Parish Councils Bill. As usual, adjourned at midnight. Motion made that House forthwith adjourn, Oliver Rollit asks for more. Too early to go home; might as well sit up till one o'clock, and take private Bills. House aghast. Squire of Malwood discreetly says he will think the matter over.
Tuesday.—Another night on Parish Councils. Debate should have finished last night; finally arranged to close it before dinner hour to-day ”