W. Pett Ridge

“ Near to the marquee a bustling to and fro of white-aproned men encumbered with dishes, of pinafored women carrying washing-baskets filled with plates, the entire regiment being under the command of a stern-faced landlady, who kept the inn close by. Inside the marquee, with its grateful shade, two long white-clothed tables and a narrow one, joining at the end. Up and down the grass flooring waiters and waitresses hurried, so that guests had to dodge them in order to reach the Windsor chairs bearing the number of their ticket. ”

“ As the cornet blared the call to the blue sky between the two rows of shops, men hurried to take their places. Opulent ladies found themselves hauled and lifted and pushed into the breaks, the breaks trembling nervously as they took their seats. Alfred Bateson, on tip-toe and straining his eyes to look over the crowd, was urged by his friend Finnis to take his seat.
'She ain't comin',' prophesied William Finnis, 'and it's jest as well she ain't. Women are only in the way.'
'I want this one to be in my way. ”

“ White, dusty roads now, and orchards full of apple-trees with astonished branches; slow, thoughtful carts driven by dozing waggoners; old women with red-handkerchiefed heads bent double at their work in the fields ”

“ Men learned in horse-flesh stood around the animals and criticised their points acutely in a way that made one astonished that the horses did not turn round and bite. Others came out of the large public-house, wiping their lips and bending down soft brims of hats to shade their eyes from the attentive sun ”

“ Presently Alfred, feeling that some courtesy was due to his friend, challenged him to jump, and Caroline acted as umpire; and Alfred won the threepence, not because he jumped further than Finnis, but because he contrived with great adroitness to shift the handkerchief. Then Mr. Finnis found a hard apple in his pocket, and with this, whilst the main body of bean-feasters were having clumsy, half-bemused games of cricket and of Aunt Sally, the three had an admirable game of catch, the rule being that every time Caroline missed the ball she had to kiss the gentleman who had thrown it ”

“ They were on the border of Blackheath. William Finnis called to the driver; the break was stopped and the foreman fell. Alfred assisted Caroline to step out, and Mr. Finnis, without waiting for an invitation, followed; the bean-feasters shouted good-night to them, and the break went on. Alfred put his arm around Caroline's waist, and started across the Heath in the direction of her mistress's house, Mr. Finnis following in the rear.
'Fancy you calling the silly old man a human document!' said the amused Caroline. ”