W. Somerset Maugham

“ My soul exults in the great mercy that God has shown me.
John.
Oh, my dear, you’re going to be so unhappy.
Sylvia.
No, don’t be sorry for me. You’ve given me a great opportunity.
John.
I?
Sylvia.
I’ve been mortified because I was able to do so little in the war. I knew it was my duty to stay here and look after mother. But I wanted to go out to France and do my bit like all my friends.
John.
That was very natural.
Sylvia.
Now at last I have the chance to do something. No sacrifice is worthless in the eyes of God. A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. ”

“ John.
Don’t be such a hypocrite.
Sylvia.
[Brokenly.] I expected a miracle.
John.
At this time of day?
Sylvia.
For God’s sake have mercy on me! It was your mother who put the idea in my head. Your father received the Communion last night.
John.
You have no charity for human weakness. You were all so terrified that he shouldn’t make an edifying end. As if it mattered if the poor dear’s nerve failed him at the last.
Sylvia.
[Eagerly.] But it didn’t. That’s just it. You noticed your mother’s face yourself. Notwithstanding all her grief she’s happy. Do you know why?
John. ”

“ Life seems to me like a huge jig-saw puzzle that doesn’t make any picture, but if we like we can make little patterns, as it were, out of the pieces.
Sylvia.
What is the use of that?
John.
There’s no use, and no need. It’s merely something we can do for our own satisfaction. Pain and sorrow are some of the pieces that we have to deal with. By making the most of all our faculties, by using all our opportunities, out of the manifold events of life, our deeds, our feelings, our thoughts, we can make a design which is intricate, dignified, and beautiful. ”

“ John.
Don’t be angry with him or disappointed. You know, it’s a hard thing to die for all of us. Generally one’s vitality is lowered so that life seems rather a burden, and it’s not very hard then to make a seemly end. But poor father’s got something much more difficult to face.
Mrs. Wharton.
He’s been supported all his life by his confidence in the great truths of our religion. Oh, John, it’s so dreadful that just at this moment, when he must put them all to the test, he should falter. It’s almost a betrayal of the God who loves him.
John.
My dear, you can’t imagine that God won’t understand? ”

“ John.
I wish you’d been a company-commander and had seen how gaily a man can give his life for his friend.
Vicar.
But I know, my dear boy, I know. And do you think God will be unmindful of their sacrifice? I pray and believe that they will find mercy in His sight. I am sure He is more ready to pardon than to punish. After all, our Lord came to call sinners to repentance, and who should know better than the Ministers of God that to err is human, to forgive, divine? ”

“ Littlewood.
I? No, why should I? I don’t feel that life is important enough for me to give it a deliberate end. I don’t trouble to kill the fly that walks over my ceiling.
Dr. Macfarlane.
I’ve been curing or killing people for hard on fifty years, and it seems to me that I’ve seen innumerable generations enter upon the shifting scene, act their little part, and pass away. Alas, who can deny that in this world virtue is very often unrewarded and vice unpunished? Happiness too rarely comes to the good, and the prizes of this life go too frequently to the undeserving. ”

“ Sylvia.
What do you think it can be worth while to risk life for?
John.
Almost anything. Honour or love. A song, a thought. [After a moment’s reflection, with a smile.] A five-barred gate.
Sylvia.
Isn’t that rather illogical?
John.
Perhaps. I don’t put it very well. I think what I mean is that life in itself has no value. It’s what you put in it that gives it worth.
Colonel Wharton.
Why do you think you’ve come safely through the perils and dangers of the war? John, do you know that every day your mother and Sylvia and I prayed that God might see fit to spare you? ”

“ Sylvia.
[Slipping the ring on her finger.] I will put the love of man out of my life. I will turn from what is poor and transitory to what is everlasting. I will be the bride of One whose love is never denied to them that seek it. The love of God is steadfast and enduring. I can put all my trust in that and I shall never find it wanting.... Good-bye, John, God bless you now and always.
John.
Good-bye, dear child. ”

“ Sylvia.
Do you think religion is something I take up with my Prayer-book when I go to church, and put away on a shelf when I get home again? John, God is a living presence that is always with me. I never at any moment lose the consciousness of that divine love which with infinite mercy tends and protects me. ”

“ My own belief is that war is necessary to a nation. It brings out all a man’s best qualities.
Vicar.
There I heartily agree with you. It is the great school of character. Amid the clash of arms the great Christian virtues shine forth with an immortal lustre. Courage, self-sacrifice, charity, self-reliance. No one knew before the war what a pinnacle of heroism was within the power of our brave lads at the front.
Mrs. Poole.
What do you think about it, Major Wharton?
John.
[Smiling.] I? I think it’s a lovely day. I have three weeks leave, and the war is a long way off. ”

“ Colonel Wharton.
Evelyn, where do you expect to go when you die if you tell such stories?
Mrs. Wharton.
Now, George, don’t be obstinate. You might give in to me sometimes. They’re the first pease out of the garden and I should like you to eat them.
Colonel Wharton.
No, my dear, I’d like to see you eat them. I’m an invalid, and I must have my own way.
Mrs. Wharton.
You tyrant! You haven’t seen Dr. Macfarlane this morning? I’m so anxious.
Colonel Wharton.
You old fusser! No sooner have you stopped worrying over your boy than you start worrying over me.
Mrs. Wharton. ”

“ And I claimed that a man should be judged by what he believed and did in the heyday of his strength, and not by what was wrung from him in a moment of anguish. Pray that God may give my father courage and resignation.
Mrs. Wharton.
How can you ask me to pray, John, when you don’t believe in God?
John.
Pray all the same, my dear, and for me too.
Mrs. Wharton.
I don’t suppose I shall survive your father very long, dear. Husbands and wives who’ve been so much to one another as we have don’t often make a very good job of separation. I’m so glad to think that you’ll have Sylvia. ”

“ Wharton.
[Trying to comfort him.] I’m thankful that your faith has always been so bright and clear. What a comfort that is now, darling, what an immense consolation! [She draws him more closely to her.]
You’re throwing aside these poor rags of mortality to put on a heavenly raiment. It is what we’ve always kept in our minds, isn’t it? that this brief life is only a place of passage to the mansions of our dear Father. [She feels the dismay in his heart and she strives to give him courage.] You’ve never hesitated at the call of an earthly leader. You’re a good soldier ”

“ Your faith has been the faith of our people for hundreds of years. In the case of a difference of opinion I could not take it on myself to refuse children instruction in it. When they reach years of discretion they can judge for themselves.
Sylvia.
And supposing they ask you about things? The story of Our Saviour appeals to children, you know. It’s very natural that they should put you questions. What will you answer?
John.
I don’t think you could ask me to say what I thought untrue.
Mrs. Wharton.
He could always refer them to you, Sylvia dear.
Sylvia.
You naturally wouldn’t come to church. ”

“ Poole.
[With a little sigh of relief.] I knew you’d take it like that, Norman. You’re so tolerant and broad-minded.
Vicar.
I think I see my way to help her, poor soul.
John.
I wonder how. Your only explanation of evil is sin. I daresay you can get people to acknowledge that they’ve deserved their own suffering. But you’ll never prevent them from being revolted at the suffering of others. Why is evil permitted in the world by an all-good God? ”

“ Do you mean to say that our Church doesn’t believe any longer in eternal punishment?
John.
Oh, father, hell has always left me perfectly cold. You and I are quite safe. You see, mother would never be happy in heaven without us, and God couldn’t refuse her anything she asked.
Mrs. Wharton.
[Affectionately.] John, what nonsense you talk.
Mrs. Poole.
I sometimes think the modern Church has been very rash in surrendering a belief which has the authority of Our Lord himself. How many sinners have been brought to repentance by the fear of everlasting punishment! ”

“ The motive of the divine redemption lies in the fact that men, though created for so lofty a purpose, have plunged so deep into sin and have so deeply defaced in themselves the image of God, that only the self-sacrificing act of God in redeeming them can raise them from ruin. ”

“ Kate.
Very good, ma’am. If you please, ma’am, the gardener hasn’t sent in a very big basket of pease. Cook says it won’t look much for three.
Mrs. Wharton.
Oh, well, it doesn’t matter as long as there are enough for the gentlemen. I’ll just pretend to take some.
Kate.
Very good, ma’am.
As she is going, Colonel Wharton enters from the garden with a basket of cherries. He is a thin old man, much older than his wife, with white hair; but though very frail he still carries himself erectly. His face is bronzed by long exposure to tropical suns, but even so it is the face of a sick man. ”

“ Before an attack I’ve often had to light a cigarette to hide the trembling of my lips.
Colonel Wharton.
The Christian doesn’t fear death. His whole life is but a preparation for that awful moment. To him it is the shining gateway to life everlasting.
John.
I should be sorry to think that life was nothing but a preparation for death. To my mind death is very unimportant. I think a man does best to put it out of his thoughts. He should live as though life were endless. Life is the thing that matters.
Sylvia. ”

“ John.
It’s very good of you to say so, but I don’t think it likely.
Vicar.
One never knows by what paths the Most High will call His creatures to Himself. He is more cunning to save His children than they are to lose themselves. If you listen to the call, come to the Communion Table. I will ask no questions. It will be a joyful day for me if I am privileged to offer you the Blessed Sacrament of Our Lord and Saviour. ”

“ Wharton, my dear, shall you and I go for a little stroll in your beautiful garden, and we’ll have a talk about this old tyrant.
Colonel Wharton.
What’s the object of that? Evelyn will only tell me everything you’ve said the moment you’re gone. She’s never been able to keep anything from me in her life.
Dr. Macfarlane.
You must have patience with me. I’m an old man, and I like to do things in my own way. ”

“ John.
Why, that arguments are futile. Think for a minute. You don’t believe in God for any of the reasons that are given for His existence. You believe in Him because with all your heart you feel that He exists. No argument can ever touch that feeling. The heart is independent of logic and its rules. ”

“ Littlewood.
No, the strange thing is that I haven’t suffered very much. Don’t you know how sometimes one has a horrid dream and knows one’s only dreaming all the time? [To the Vicar, with the same good temper, almost amused.] You’re surprised that I should go to the theatre. Why? To me, it’s no more unreal a spectacle than life. Life does seem to me just like a play now. ”

“ John, dear, go and smoke a cigarette in the garden. I want to have a chat with Mrs. Littlewood.
John.
All right, mother.
[He goes out.
Mrs. Littlewood.
Do you know that I’m thinking of letting my house? I only kept it so that the boys should have a home to come to when they had a holiday, and now that they’re both dead, I think I shall find it more amusing to live in London. I shall join a bridge club.
Mrs. Wharton.
Charlotte, what does it mean? Why do you talk like that?
Mrs. Littlewood.
My dear, why shouldn’t I join a bridge club? [With a smile.] At my age it’s surely quite respectable. ”