W. W. Jacobs

“ Captain Trimblett started as though he had been stung, and his temperature rose to as near boiling point as science and the human mechanism will allow. Twice he opened his mouth to bellow the boatswain back again, and twice his courage failed him. He sat a picture of wrathful consternation until, his gaze falling on a bottle of beer, he emptied it with great rapidity, and pushing his plate away and lighting his pipe sat trying to read a harmless meaning into Mr. Walters's infernal congratulations. ”

“ Robert Vyner gazed at her admiringly.
"I am glad that you understand me," he murmured. "It makes things easier for me. I don't suppose that you have the faintest idea how shy and sensitive I really am."
Miss Hartley, without even troubling to look at him, said that she was quite sure she had not.
"Nobody has," said Robert, shaking his head, "but I am going to make a fight against it. I am going to begin now. In the first place I want you not to think too hardly of my father. He has been a very good father to me. We have never had a really nasty word in our lives." ”

“ Mr. Truefitt and Mrs. Willett entered from the garden just as the Captain was explaining for the third time.
"Children are not ill, I hope," said Mr. Truefitt with ill concealed anxiety.
"No," said the Captain.
Mrs. Willett had seated herself by the side of Mrs. Chinnery, ventured to pat that lady's busy hand.
"He will soon be back," she murmured.
"He will look after that," said Mr. Truefitt, with a boisterous laugh. "Won't you, cap'n?"
Miss Willett sat regarding Captain Trimblett with a pensive air. She was beginning to regard his diffidence and shyness as something abnormal. ”

“ Trimblett; I am, indeed. Don't look so frightened; I'm not going to marry you, really. Only pretend, as the children say."
"You don't know what you're talking about!" exclaimed the astonished captain.
"Putting aside your feelings—and mine," said Joan, "it's a good thing for everybody else, isn't it? We mustn't consider ourselves—that would be selfish."
The captain shook his head in angry amazement.
"I suppose, when you said just now that you would do anything for father, you didn't mean it, then?" said Joan. ”

“ When your father went up North in that light-hearted fashion, I don't suppose he thought for a moment that you'd be sitting here to-day worrying over one of the results of his journey."
"Of course he didn't," exclaimed Hartley, impatiently; "how could he? Look here, Trimblett, when you talk like that I don't know where I am. If my father hadn't married my mother I suppose he would have married somebody else."
"My idea is that he couldn't," said the captain, obstinately. "If a thing has got to be it will be, and there's no good worrying about it. Take a simple example. ”

“ Robert Vyner, in tones of grave annoyance, as he ranged alongside. "I came all this way to show your father a book on dahlias, and now I find I've left it at the office. What's a good thing for a bad memory?"
"Punish yourself by running all the way, I should think," replied Joan. "It might make you less forgetful next time."
Mr. Vyner became thoughtful, not to say grave. "I don't know so much about running," he said, slowly. "I've had an idea for some time past that my heart is a little bit affected." ”

“ With a fine show of indignation he thrust the gasping Bassett from the room.
He rose from his chair and, with a fine show of indignation, thrust the gasping Bassett from the room, and then turned to face the girl.
"I am so sorry," he began. "That stupid boy—you see how stupid he is—"
"It doesn't matter, thank you," said Joan. "It—it wasn't very important."
"He doesn't usually forget things," murmured Mr. Vyner. "I wish now," he added, truthfully, "that I had told Mr. Hartley myself." ”

“ Walters, gruffly.
"Thank you," said Rosa, and leaned on him heavily. "Housework is the proper thing for girls," she continued, with some severity. "Every girl ought to know how to keep her husband's house clean and cook nicely for him. But there—all they think about is love. What did you say?"
"Nothing," said Mr. Walters, hastily. "I didn't say a word."
"I don't understand it myself," said Rosa, takings an appraising glance at him from under the brim of her hat; "I can't think why people want to get married when they're comfortable."
"Me neither," said the boatswain. ”

“ Vyner glanced at him in mystification.
"Hartley is a great gardener," explained the other with a satisfied smile. "What is the result? He can go there when he likes, so to speak. No awkwardness or anything of that sort. He can turn up there bold as brass to borrow a trowel, and take three or four hours doing it."
"You're a danger to society," said Robert, shaking his head.
"People ought to marry while they're young," said the captain. "If they don't, like as not they're crazy to marry in their old age. ”

“ He shifted his feet restlessly and the toast disappeared. For a moment Mrs. Carr thought that the floor had opened and swallowed it up. Realizing that the day of useful miracles had passed, she gazed fixedly at his left foot.
"Well," said the captain, turning a relieved face to Joan, "how is the round of gayety? Are you tired of being a butterfly yet? I suppose after this Salt-haven won't be good enough for you?"
"There's nothing like life for young people," said Mrs. Carr. "Give them plenty of life and that's all they want."
Miss Hartley, whose back was toward her aunt, made a grimace. ”

“ A tall, sinewy man in a serge suit, whom Hartley recognized as Captain Walsh, was standing by him. His attitude was that of an indulgent policeman with a refractory prisoner, and twice Hartley saw him lay hold of the captain by the coat-sleeve, and call his attention to something in the window. Anxious to discuss his affairs with Trimblett, Hartley crossed the road.
"Ah! here's Hartley," said the tall captain, with an air of relief, as Captain Trimblett turned and revealed a hot face mottled and streaked with red. "Make him listen to reason. He won't do it for me. ”

“ Chinnery.
The captain put his hand to his ear.
"Yes, of course."
"I don't like her expression," said Captain Sellers, firmly. "I'm a very good judge of faces, and there's a look, an artful look, about her eyes that I don't like. It's my belief she's got my glue-pot stowed about her somewhere; and I'm going to search her."
"You get out of my house," cried the overwrought Mrs. Chinnery.
"Not without my glue-pot," said Captain Sellers, hearing for once. "Take that woman upstairs and search her. A glue-pot—a hot glue-pot—can't go without hands." ”

“ But for the life of me I can't see why it should worry Hartley."
"Congratulations?" said the captain, eying him in surprise. "What about?"
"Your marriage," replied Robert. "I only heard of it on my way to the office, and your talking put it out of my head."
"Me?" said Captain Trimblett, going purple with suppressed emotion. "My marriage? I'm not going to be married. Not at all."
"What do you mean by 'not at all?" inquired Mr. Vyner, looking puzzled. "It isn't a thing you can do by halves."
"I'm not going to be married at all," said the captain, raising his voice. ”

“ WORK!" said Mr. Robert Vyner, severely, as he reclined in a deck-chair on the poop of the Indian Chief and surveyed his surroundings through half-closed eyes. "Work! It's no good sitting here idling while the world's work awaits my attention."
Captain Trimblett, who was in a similar posture a yard away, assented. He also added that there was "nothing like it."
"There's no play without work," continued Mr. Vyner, in a spirit of self-admonition. ”

“ Vyner.
"All of 'em," said the captain.
"Twins, as well?" said Mr. Vyner, raising his voice.
"She likes them best of all," was the reply.
Mr. Vyner rose slowly from his chair. "She is a woman in a million," he said impressively. "I wonder why—"
"They're very good girls," said the captain hastily. "Old Sellers thinks there is nobody like them."
"I expect you'll be making a home for them soon," said Robert, thoughtfully; "although it will be rather hard on Mrs. Chinnery to part with them. Won't it?"
"We are all in the hands of fate," said the captain gazing suddenly at his tumbler. ”