W. W. Jacobs

“ Not being the kind of fellow who would forget his friends in this time of good fortune, he lets them all in on the good thing. Being humanly greedy, the friends jump at the chance to profit.... In the second act, after Henry's daughter has eloped, the friends are presenting Henry with a diamond-studded wrist watch, as a token of their esteem, when news comes of the Wall Street upheaval and all are wiped out. Things, however, are not as bad as they look, for Henry, who has an invention to revolutionize the soap industry, sells the idea for a large price and everything is all right again. ”

“ Sort of poetic justice about it. (Leek with revolver in his hand, is just putting it into his pocket. Seeing him.) Why, what's that you've got there?
Leek. A revolver. (At fire.) You see I do a lot of night driving, visiting patients in outlying districts—they're a tough lot round here, and one never knows what might happen, so I have been accustomed to carry it. I just pulled it out so as to have it handy. I meant to have a pot at that ghost if I had seen him. There's no law against it, is there? I never heard of a close time for ghosts. ”

“ Malcolm and Beldon are up at sideboard, George having put the other gas out, goes up to them and is just lighting the candles for them. The Doctor is filling his pipe at mantel-shelf, and stooping to get a light with a paper spill. Leek whistles and lights spill. The handle of the door is heard moving. Omnes stand motionless—Malcolm and Beldon very frightened. They all watch. ”

“ Somers (crosses to L. C.) . I will with pleasure. (Gets up to table C. and gets a candle) . Provided you don't mind sleeping with the gas full on all night. (Goes to door L.)
Leek (to Hirst) . You'll be all right in the morning.
[16] Hirst. Good night, all. (As he crosses to door.)
Omnes. Good night.
(All talking at fire, not looking to L. as Hirst and Somers exeunt. Hirst chuckles and gives Somers a sly dig.)
Somers. Good night.
Malcolm (at fireplace) . Well, I suppose the bet's off, though as far as I can see I won it. I never saw a man so scared in all my life. ”

“ Beldon. Well, I should take jolly good care not to sleep in it, that's all. (Goes to back.)
(Penfold rising, goes to fire, and knocks out his pipe, Leek gets by arm-chair.)
Penfold. There's nothing to fear. I don't believe for a moment that ghosts could really hurt one. (George lights candle at table.) ”

“ Carried away by his imagination he pretends to be a friend of the great, persuades his brother-in-law to buy an option to a ninety-acre lot on the assumption that "Guggenheim" is to build a golf course there, obtains $10,000 from the local banker and then becomes badly involved in his deceptions. After Peter endures the ridicule of his townsfolk and the ire of the banker there suddenly appears on the scene a representative of "Guggenheim" who wants the acreage not for a golf course but an air field, and promptly turns over a check for $75,000 for a part of it. ”

“ Laying aside her horn-rimmed spectacles, she pretends indifference and affects a mysterious interest in other men. Nancy baits her rival with a bogus diamond ring, makes love to her former husband's best friend, and finally tricks the dastardly rival into a marriage with someone else. ”

“ In fact, my father used to say that it was only the unpleasantness of the thing that upset him, and that, for all practical purposes, Jerry's fingers might have been made of cotton wool for all the harm they could do.
(George hands candle, gets to door and holds it open.)
Beldon. That's all very fine, a ghost story is a ghost story, but when a gentleman tells a tale of a [8] ghost that haunts the house in which one is going to sleep, I call it most ungentlemanly.
(Beldon places his chair to L. of table R. Penfold goes up to C. Leek sits in arm chair. Beldon goes to fireplace.) ”

“ You don't know what it's like, sir. It ain't fit to look at by yourself, [13] it ain't indeed. It's got the awfullest deathlike face, and short cropped red hair—it's—
(Smothered cry is heard.)
What's that? (Backs to C and leans on chair.)
(All start, and a quick pattering of footsteps is heard rapidly approaching the room. The door flies open and Hirst flings himself gasping and shivering into Malcolm's arms. The door remains open. He has only his trousers and shirt on, his face very white with fear and his own hair all standing on end. Leek lights the gas, then goes to R. of Hirst.) ”

“ Malcolm. I'll bet you a level sov, you don't frighten me.
Hirst (quietly) . A level sov. (Pauses.) Done. I'll take the bet to frighten you first, and the old boy afterwards. These gentlemen shall be the judges. (Points to Leek and Beldon.)
Beldon (up C.) . You won't frighten us because we're prepared for you, but you'd better leave the old man alone. It's dangerous play. (Appeals to Leek) .
Hirst. Well, I'll try you first. (Moves to door and pauses.) No gas, mind.
Omnes. No! no!
Hirst (laughs) . I'll give you a run for your money.
(George enters, holds door open.)
(Exit Hirst.) ”

“ Somers. I say, which bedroom was it? (Earnestly) .
Penfold. That I can't tell you, but the story goes that Jerry still haunts this house, and my father used to declare positively that the last time he slept here, the ghost of Jerry Bundler lowered itself from the top of his four-post bed and tried to strangle him.
Beldon (jumps up, gets behind his chair, twists chair round; nervously) . O, I say, that'll do. I wish you'd thought to ask your father which bedroom it was. ”

“ Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that "The Ghost of Jerry Bundler," being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to a royalty, and anyone presenting the play without the consent of the owners or their authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Applications for professional and amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York. ”

“ George. I've seen it, gentlemen. (Down stage L. C.)
Omnes. Seen who?
(Beldon down R. edge of table R. Leek up R. C. Somers up R.)
George. The ghost. Jer—Bun—
Malcolm. Why, you're frightened, George.
George. Yes, sir. It was the suddenness of it, and besides I didn't look for seeing it in the bar. There was only a glimmer of light there, and it was sitting on the floor. I nearly touched it.
Malcolm (goes to door, looks off, then returns—to others) . It must be Hirst up to his tricks. George was out of the room when he suggested it. (To George.) Pull yourself together, man. ”

“ The stage occupied by all characters except George the waiter. Discovered, Penfold, sitting in arm chair L. of fire, above it. Doctor Leek standing above fire and leaning on mantel-shelf. Hirst sitting on settle [4] below fire and nearest to audience. Somers seated on settle with him but above him. Malcolm and Beldon on chairs R. C., facing fire. All are smoking, and drink from their respective glasses from time to time. ”