“ WHEN gay Philander left the Plain,
The Love, the Life of ev’ry Swain;
His Pipe the mournful Strephon took,
By some sad Bank and murm’ring Brook:
Whilst list’ning Flocks forsook their Food,
And Melancholy by him stood;
On the cold Ground himself he laid,
And thus the Mournful Shepherd play’d.
Farewel to all that’s bright and gay,
No more glad Night and chearing Day;
No more the Sun will gild our Plain,
’Till the lost Youth return again:
Then every pensive Heart that now,
With Mournful Willow shades his Brow ”

“ Tho’ I am Fourscore Years of Age,
I love with a Right good Will;
And what in truth I want in Youth,
I have it in perfect Skill:
Then grant to me that Charming Bliss,
That belongs to Woman-kind;
And the Fates above Reward your Love,
To an Old Woman Poor and Blind.
Now if you do not pleasure me,
And give me the thing I crave;
I do protest I shall not rest,
When I am laid in my Grave:
32Therefore kind Sir, grant me the Joys,
That belong to Woman-kind;
And the Fates above Reward your Love,
To an Old Woman Poor and Blind. ”

“ She has gone and left me all alone.
81Don’t you remember my pretty Peggy,
The Oaths and Vows which you made to me:
All in the Chamber we were together,
That you would ne’er unconstant be:
But you prove strange Love, and from me range,
And leave me here to Sigh and Moan;
Unconstant Woman is true to no Man,
She’s gone and left me all alone.
As I have Gold you shall have Treasure,
Or any dainty kind of thing;
Thou may’st command all Delights and Pleasure,
And what you’d have, Love, I would you bring:
But you prove shy, and at last deny,
Him that admires you alone ”

“ All whining dull whimsys of Love I’ll cashire:
The Charm’s more engaging in Bumpers of Wine,
Then let Chloe be Damn’d, but let this be Divine:
Whilst Youth warms thy Veins, Boy embrace thy full Glasses,
Damn Cupid and all his poor Proselyte Asses;
Let this be thy rule Tom, to square out thy Life,
And when Old in a Friend, thou’lt live free from all Strife,
Only envied by him that is plagu’d with a Wife. ”

“ The mighty Pain her suff’ring Swain does for her undergo;
Convey this Dart into her Heart, and when she’s set on Fire,
Do thou return and let her burn, like me in chast desire;
That by Experience she, may learn to pity me,
Whene’er her Eyes do tyrannize o’er my Captivity:
But when in Love we jointly move, and tenderly imbrace,
Like Angels shine, and sweetly join to one another’s Face. ”

“ And bid adieu to my false Love:
Since she is false whom I adore,
I ne’er will trust a Woman more,
From all their Charms I’ll fly away,
And on my Pipe will sweetly play;
’Tis o’er the Hills, &c.
There by my self I’ll sing and say,
’Tis o’er the Hills, and far away,
That my poor Heart is gone astray,
Which makes me grieve both Night and Day;
Farewel, farewel, thou cruel she,
I fear that I shall die for thee:
But if I live, this Vow I’ll make,
To love no other for your sake. ”

“ THo’ over all Mankind, besides my conquering Beauty,
Conquering beauty, my conquering beauty Reigns;
My conquering Beauty Reigns;
From him I love, from him I love when I meet disdain,
A killing damp, a killing damp comes o’er my Pride:
I’m fair and young, I’m fair and young,
I’m fair and young in vain:
I’m fair and young, I’m fair and young,
I’m fair and young in vain ”

“ We both are not happy, when both are most kind:
But Women, like Priests, do in others reprove,
And call that thing Lust, which in them is but Love.
What they thro’ their Madness and Folly create,
We poor silly Slaves still impute to our Fate;
But in such Distempers where Love is the Grief,
’Tis Cælia, not Heaven, must give us Relief:
Then away with those Titles of Honour and Cause,
Which first made us sin, by giving us Laws. ”

“ Did my raging Pains encrease.
166Nor could Jealousie relieve me,
Tho’ it ever waited near;
Cloath’d in gawdy Pow’r to grieve me,
Still the Monster would appear:
That, nor Time, nor Absence neither,
Nor Despair removes my Pain;
I endure them all together,
Yet my Torments still remain.
Had alone her matchless beauty,
Set my amorous Heart on Fire,
Age at last would do its Duty,
Fuel ceasing, Flames expire.
But her Mind immortal grows,
Makes my Love immortal too;
Nature ne’er created Faces,
Can the Charms of Souls undoe. ”

“ Some rich and brave flourishing Cuckolds were there,
That came in whole Droves, Sir, as if to Horn-Fair;
For now there is hopes to be cur’d of their Grief,
The Doctor declares in the Fall of the Leaf.
Let none be so foolish as now to neglect,
This Doctor’s great Kindness and civil Respect;
Tho’ rich Men may pay, yet the Poor may go free,
So kind and so courteous a Doctor is he.
’Tis known he so worthy a Conscience doth make,
Poor Cuckolds he’ll cure them for Charity sake;
Nay, farther than this still his Love does enlarge,
Providing for them at his own Cost and Charge. ”

“ Cælia how can you be Cruel and Fair?
Since removing,
The Charms that are loving,
’Twould make a poor Lover Despair;
’Tis true, I have lov’d you these seven long Years & more,
Too long for a Man that ne’er was in Love before:
And if longer you my Caresses deny,
I then am resolv’d to give over my Flames and die.
112Love fires the Heart of him that is Brave,
Charms the Spirit
Of him that is merit,
And makes the poor Lover a Slave ”

“ We’ve Money enough to spend;
I hate to see the Pots empty,
A Man cannot Drink to’s Friend:
Then drawer bring up more Wine,
And merrily let it pass;
We’ll drink till our Faces do shine,
He that wont may look like an Ass:
And we’ll tell him so to his Face,
If he offers to baulk his Glass,
For we defy all such dull Society.
’Tis drinking makes us merry,
And Mirth diverts all Care ”

“ What Life can Compare with the jolly Town-Rakes.
Thus in Covent-Garden he makes his Campaigns,
And no Coffee-House haunts but to settle his Brains;
He laughs at dry Mortals, and never does think,
Unless ’tis to get the best Wenches and Drink:
He dwells in a Tavern, and lives ev’ry where,
And improving his Hour, lives an age in a Year:
For as Life is uncertain, he loves to make haste,
And thus he lives longest because he lives fast:
Then leaps in the Dark, and his Exit he makes,
What Death can compare with the jolly Town-Rakes. ”

“ Tho’ Beauty’s great Charms our Sences delude,
’Tis the Centre attracts our Needle;
And Love’s a Jest when thought to intrude,
The design of it to unriddle:
A Virgin may show strange coyness in Love,
And tell you Chimera’s of Honour;
But give her her Wish, the Man she approves,
No Labour he’ll have to win her. ”

“ By Quiffing with Cullies three Pound she had got,
And but one part of four must fall to her Lot;
Yet all the Bauds cry’d, let us turn her out bare,
Unless she will yield to return her half share;
If she will not, we’ll help to strip off her Cloaths,
And turn her abroad with a slit o’ the Nose:
Who when she did see,
There was no Remedy,
For her from the Tyranous Bauds to get free;
The Whore from the Money was forced to yield,
And in the Conclusion the Baud got the Field. ”

“ Tho. Kingsley. [Listen]
179
HOW Happy’s the Mortal whose Heart is his own,
And for his own Quiet’s beholden to none,
(Eccho. Beholden to none, to none;)
That to Love’s Enchantments ne’er lendeth an Ear,
Which a Frown or a Smile can equally bear,
(Eccho. Can equally bear, can bear,)
Nor on ev’ry frail Beauty still fixes an Eye,
But from those sly Felons doth prudently fly,
(Eccho. Doth prudently, prudently fly, doth fly;)
For the Heart that still wanders is pounded at last,
And ’tis hard to relieve it when once it is fast,
(Eccho. When once it is fast, is fast.) ”

“ That Jenny stole my Heart away.
Did she but feel the dismal Woe
That for her Sake I undergo,
She surely then would grant Relief,
And put an end to all my Grief:
But oh, she is as false as fair,
Which causes all my sad Despair;
She triumphs in a proud Disdain,
And takes Delight to see my Pain;
’Tis o’er the Hills, &c.
Hard was my Hap to fall in Love,
With one that does so faithless prove ”

“ Ordaining my Life to happy and free;
With no Cares of the World I am never perplex’d,
And never depending, I never am vex’d:
I’m neither of so high nor so low a degree,
But Ambition and Want are both strangers to me;
My life is a compound of Freedom and Ease,
I go where I will, and I work when I please:
242I live above Envy, and yet above Spight,
And have Judgment enough for to do my self right;
Some greater and richer I own there may be,
Yet as many live worse, as live better than me,
And few that from Cares live so quiet and free. ”

“ When Gamesters won’t Swear, and no bribery thrives,
Young Wives love old Husbands, young Husbands old Wives;
When Landlords love Taxes, and Soldiers love Peace:
And Lawyers forget a rich Client to Fleece:
When an old Face shall please as well as a new,
Wives, Husbands, and Lovers will ever be true. ”

“ Young Maids are admitted, in hopes to be fitted,
With Husbands couragious and bold:
Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot,
There are wealthy kind Husbands now, now to be got.
Kind Men that are full of good Nature,
The flaxen, the black, and the brown;
Both lusty and stout, and fit to hold out,
The prime and the top of the Town:
So clever in every part,
They’ll please a young Girl to the Heart;
Nay, kiss you, and squeese you, and tenderly please you,
For Love has a conquering Dart:
Then come pretty Lasses and purchase a Lot,
There are Wealthy kind Husbands now, now to be got. ”

“ In a Chair her Successors still suffer a Groping.
What a sight ’tis to see the gay Idol accoutred,
With Mitre and Cap, and two Keys by his side;
Be his inside what ’twill, yet the Pomp of his outward,
Shows Servus servorum, no hater of Pride,
These Keys into Heav’n will as surely admit ye,
As Clerks of a Parish to a Pew in the City.
What a sight ’tis to see the old Man in Procession,
Through Rome in such Pomp as here Cæsar did ride,
Now scattering of Pardons, here Crossing, there Blessing,
With all his shav’d Spiritual Train’d-bans by his side ”

“ And all my Venture too;
So Peggy may gang along with me,
My Cabin for to View.
If she continues one Hour with me,
Thy true and constant Wife;
Then shalt thou have my Ship and be,
A Merchant all thy Life. ”

“ Great Marlborough Conquers,
I’m ruin’d the while.
The Flower of France,
And Troops of my Palace
Which march’d from Versales
Who vow’d to Advance,
With Conquering Sword,
Are cut, hack’d and hew’d,
I well may conclude,
They’re most of them Slain:
Oh! what will become of,
Oh! what will become of,
My Grand-Son in Spain.
My fortify’d Throne,
Propt up by Oppression,
Must yield at Discretion,
For needs must I own,
My Glory decays:
152Bold Marlborough comes
With ratling Drums,
And thundering Shot,
He drives all before him,
He drives all before him,
Oh! Where am I got? ”

“ YOu’ve been with dull Prologues here banter’d so long,
They signify nothing, or less than a Song;
To sing you a Ballad this Tune we thought fit,
For Sound has oft nickt you, when Sence could not hit:
Then Ladies be kind, and Gentlemen mind,
Wit Capers, play Sharpers, loud Bullies, tame Cullies,
Sow grumblers, Wench Fumblers give ear ev’ry Man:
Mobb’d Sinners in Pinners, kept Foppers, Bench-hoppers,
High-Flyers, Pit-Plyers, be still if you can:
You’re all in Damnation, you’re all in Damnation for Leading the Van. ”

“ Let their Hours of Pleasure by Business be stay’d;
Let them venture their Stocks to be ruin’d by Trust,
Let Clickers bark on the whole Day at their Post:
Let ’em tire all that pass with their rotified Cant,
“Will you buy any Shoes, pray see what you want”;
Let the rest of the World still contend to be great,
Let some by their Losses repine at their Fate:
Let others that Thrive, not content with their store,
Be plagu’d with the Trouble and Thoughts to get more.
Let wise Men invent, ’till the World be deceived,
Let Fools thrive thro’ Fortune, and Knaves be believed ”

“ Each Man with a worthy Estate;
Then come away Mary, Sib, Susan, and Sarah,
Joan, Nancy, and pretty fac’d Kate:
For now is the time if you’ll purchase a Lot,
While Wealthy kind Husbands they are to be got.
264Amongst you I know there is many,
Will miss of a Capital Prize:
Yet nevertheless, no Sorrows express,
But dry up your watry Eyes:
Young Lasses it is but in vain,
In sorrowful Sighs to complain;
Then ne’er be faint hearted, tho’ Luck be departed,
For all cannot reckon to gain:
Yet venture young Lasses, your Guineas bring in,
The Lucky will have the good Fortune to win. ”

“ By the help of good Claret old Age becomes Youth,
And sick Men still find this the only Physitian;
Drink largely, you’ll know by experience, the Truth,
That he that drinks most is the best Politician. ”

“ Ah! now she burns! but ’tis too late,
For in his Eyes she reads her Fate.
A SONG. [Listen]
169
FAIR Cælia too fondly contemns those Delights,
Wherewith gentle Nature hath soften’d the Nights;
If she be so kind to present us with Pow’r,
The Fault is our own to neglect the good Hour:
Who gave thee this Beauty, ordain’d thou should’st be,
As kind to thy Slaves, as the Gods were to thee.
Then Cælia no longer reserve the vain Pride,
Of wronging thy self, to see others deny’d;
If Love be a Pleasure, alass! ”

“ There great as a Cæsar he revels when drunk,
And scours all he meets as he reels, as he reels to his Punk,
And finds the dear Girl in his Arms when he wakes,
What Life can compare to the jolly Town-Rakes, the Jolly Town-Rakes. ”