Cousin Pons

“ The divine effort, the outpouring of one life into another, the work of mother and of lover, was crowned with success. In half an hour the warmth revived Pons; he became himself again, the hues of life returned to his eyes, suspended faculties gradually resumed their play under the influence of artificial heat; Schmucke gave him balm-water with a little wine in it; the spirit of life spread through the body; intelligence lighted up the forehead so short a while ago insensible as a stone; and Pons knew that he had been brought back to life, by what sacred devotion, what might of friendship! ”

“ La Cibot wiped her eyes as she went back to the invalid's room.
"What is the matter, Mme. Cibot?" asked Pons.
"It is M. Schmucke that has upset me; he is crying as if you were dead," said she. "If you are not well, you are not so bad yet that nobody need cry over you; but it has given me such a turn! Oh dear! oh dear! how silly it is of me to get so fond of people, and to think more of you than of Cibot! ”

“ Here and elsewhere the poor cousin was a kind of sink down which his relatives poured domestic confidences. His discretion was well known; indeed, was he not bound over to silence when a single imprudent word would have shut the door of ten houses upon him? And he must combine his role of listener with a second part; he must applaud continually, smile on every one, accuse nobody, defend nobody; from his point of view, every one must be in the right. And so, in the house of his kinsman, Pons no longer counted as a man ”

“ Schmucke and Pons think the woman an angel; they would send my friend away. And secondly, the doctor lies under an obligation to this horrid oyster-woman; she called him in to attend M. Pillerault. When he tells her to be as gentle as possible with the patient, he simply shows the creature how to make matters worse."
"What does your friend think of my cousin's condition?"
This man's clear, business-like way of putting the facts of the case frightened Mme. de Marville; she felt that his keen gaze read the thoughts of a heart as greedy as La Cibot's own. ”

“ Pons, worthy soul, looking round and seeing no one but the family, blundered out a speech of thanks to the President and his wife for the proposal which Cecile had just made to him. So it is with those who are guided by their feelings; they act upon impulse. Brunner, hearing of an annuity offered in this way, thought that it had very much the look of a commission paid to Pons ”

“ Can you suppose, my dear madame, that under the circumstances Mme. la Presidente will let M. Pons' property go out of the family without a word?—Why, I would sooner face guns loaded with grape-shot than have such a woman for my enemy—"
"But they have quarreled," put in La Cibot.
"What has that got to do with it?" asked Fraisier. "It is one reason the more for fearing her. To kill a relative of whom you are tired, is something; but to inherit his property afterwards—that is a real pleasure!" ”

“ In the very beginning, when I saw how you were with M. Schmucke, I said to myself, ‘M. Pons has missed the life he was meant for; he was made to be a good husband.’ Come, now, you like women.”
“Ah, yes,” said Pons, “and no woman has been mine.”
“Really?” exclaimed La Cibot, with a provocative air as she came nearer and took Pons’ hand in hers. “Do you not know what it is to love a woman that will do anything for her lover? Is it possible? If I were in your place, I should not wish to leave this world for another until I had known the greatest happiness on earth!... ”

“ Cecile thought herself the happiest of women when Brunner, looking round at the magnificent works of art so patiently collected during forty years, waxed enthusiastic, and Pons, to his no small satisfaction, found an appreciative admirer of his treasures for the first time in his life.
"He is poetical," the young lady said to herself; "he sees millions in the things. A poet is a man that cannot count and leaves his wife to look after his money—an easy man to manage and amuse with trifles." ”

“ Cibot!" said Pons, "what would have become of me if it had not been for you and Schmucke?" He felt touched by this horrible prattle; the feeling in it seemed to be ingenuous, as it usually is in the speech of the people.
"Ah! we really are your only friends on earth, that is very true, that is. But two good hearts are worth all the families in the world.—Don't talk of families to me! A family, as the old actor said of the tongue, is the best and the worst of all things. ”

“ Pons put in desperately.
“You say that because you are modest; nobody can’t say that you aren’t modest.”
“My dear Mme. Cibot, no, I tell you. I always was ugly, and I never was loved in my life.”
“You, indeed!” cried the portress. “You want to make me believe at this time of day that you are as innocent as a young maid at your time of life. Tell that to your granny! A musician at a theatre too! Why, if a woman told me that, I wouldn’t believe her.”
“Montame Zipod, you irritate him!” cried Schmucke, seeing that Pons was writhing under the bedclothes. ”

“ La Cibot went straight to the bureau, opened it cautiously so as to make as little noise as possible, found the spring of the secret drawer, and hurried into the salon with the will in her hand. Her flight roused Pons’ curiosity to the highest pitch; and as for Schmucke, he trembled as if he were the guilty person.
“Go back,” said Fraisier, when she handed over the will. “He may wake, and he must find you there.” ”

“ VITELOT (Madame) , wife of the preceding, severely rebuked an agent of the firm for bringing in as a customer W. Schmucke, heir-contestant to the Pons property. [Cousin Pons.]
VIVET (Madeleine) , servant to the Camusot de Marvilles; during nearly twenty-five years was their feminine Maitre-Jacques. She tried in vain to gain Sylvain Pons for a husband, and thus to become their cousin. Madeleine Vivet, having failed in her matrimonial attempts, took a dislike for Pons, and persecuted him in a thousand ways. [Scenes from a Courtesan's Life. Cousin Pons.] ”

“ Be gentle with him, my dear Mme. Cibot, do not lay up remorse for yourself. Life is not too long.”
“Just let me alone with your remorse! Are you going to talk about the guillotine again? M. Pons is a contrairy old thing. You don’t know him. It is he that bothers me. There is not a more cross-grained man alive; his relations are in the right of it, he is sly, revengeful, and contrairy.... M. Magus has come, as I told you, and is waiting to see you.”
“Right! I will be there as soon as you. Your income depends upon the price the collection will fetch. ”

“ Have a nurse in here to-day, and to-morrow we should find a picture or something or other gone—”
“Oh! Mme. Cibot!” cried Pons, quite beside himself, “do not leave me! No one must touch anything—”
“I am here,” said La Cibot; “so long as I have the strength I shall be here.—Be easy. There was Dr. Poulain wanting to get a nurse for you; perhaps he has his eye on your treasures. I just snubbed him, I did. ‘The gentleman won’t have any one but me,’ I told him. ‘He is used to me, and I am used to him.’ So he said no more. A nurse, indeed! They are all thieves; I hate that sort of woman, I do. ”

“ There was a long pause.
"God so willed it that life has not been as I dreamed," Pons resumed. "I should so have loved wife and children and home. . . . To be loved by a very few in some corner—that was my whole ambition! Life is hard for every one; I have seen people who had all that I wanted so much and could not have, and yet they were not happy. . . . Then at the end of my life, God put untold comfort in my way, when He gave me such a friend. . . . And one thing I have not to reproach myself with—that I have not known your worth nor appreciated you, my good Schmucke. ”

“ Where are your senses? have you put them in pawn? We are all slaving our lives out for you; we do all for the best, and you are not satisfied! Do you want to drive us raging mad? I myself, to begin with, am tired out as it is——"
La Cibot rattled on at her ease; Pons was too angry to say a word. He writhed on his bed, painfully uttering inarticulate sounds; the blow was killing him. And at this point, as usual, the scolding turned suddenly to tenderness. The nurse dashed at her patient, grasped him by the head, made him lie down by main force, and dragged the blankets over him. ”

“ Plenty of men are doomed to this fate. Pons was an abnormal birth; the child of parents well stricken in years, he bore the stigma of his untimely genesis; his cadaverous complexion might have been contracted in the flask of spirit-of-wine in which science preserves some extraordinary foetus. Artist though he was, with his tender, dreamy, sensitive soul, he was forced to accept the character which belonged to his face; it was hopeless to think of love, and he remained a bachelor, not so much of choice as of necessity. ”

“ Ah! you are quite right to leave everything to him. Dear worthy man, why he is as good as a family to you, he is! Do not forget him; for if you do, God will not receive you into his Paradise, for those that have been ungrateful to their friends and left them no rentes will not go to heaven.”
In vain Pons tried to put in a word; La Cibot talked as the wind blows. Means of arresting steam-engines have been invented, but it would tax a mechanician’s genius to discover any plan for stopping a portress’ tongue. ”

“ There were days when Pons, thinking upon Count Popinot’s cook, would sigh aloud, “Ah, Sophie!” Any passer-by hearing the exclamation might have thought that the old man referred to a lost mistress; but his fancy dwelt upon something rarer, on a fat Rhine carp with a sauce, thin in the sauce-boat, creamy upon the palate, a sauce that deserved the Montyon prize! The conductor of the orchestra, living on memories of past dinners, grew visibly leaner; he was pining away, a victim to gastric nostalgia. ”

“ M. Pons says that he will recommend me to his friend Schmucke; well and good, I shall end my days in peace with the German, good man."
Fraisier had overshot his mark. He had discouraged La Cibot. Now he was obliged to remove these unpleasant impressions.
"Do not let us give up," he said; "just go away quietly home. Come, now, we will steer the affair to a good end."
"But what about my rentes, what am I to do to get them, and—"
"And feel no remorse?" he interrupted quickly. "Eh! it is precisely for that that men of business were invented; unless you keep within the law, you get nothing. ”

“ Pons, like his rival competitor and antagonist, felt in his heart an insatiable craving after specimens of the craftsman’s skill and miracles of workmanship; he loved them as a man might love a fair mistress; an auction in the salerooms in the Rue des Jeuneurs, with its accompaniments of hammer strokes and brokers’ men, was a crime of lese-bric-a-brac in Pons’ eyes. Pons’ museum was for his own delight at every hour; for the soul created to know and feel all the beauty of a masterpiece has this in common with the lover—to-day’s joy is as great as the joy of yesterday; possession never palls ”

“ Poor Schmucke, you think that La Cibot is an angel; and for this month past she has been killing me by inches to gain her covetous ends. I would not believe that a woman who served us faithfully for years could be so wicked. That doubt has been my ruin.... How much did the eight pictures fetch?”
“Vife tausend vrancs.”
“Good heavens! they were worth twenty times as much!” cried Pons; “the gems of the collection! I have not time now to institute proceedings; and if I did, you would figure in court as the dupe of those rascals. ... A lawsuit would be the death of you. ”

“ Pons was charmed to hear La Cibot’s tittle-tattle. Schmucke, Mme. Cibot, and Dr. Poulain meant all humanity to him now, when his sickroom became the universe. If invalid’s thoughts, as a rule, never travel beyond in the little space over which his eyes can wander; if their selfishness, in its narrow sphere, subordinates all creatures and all things to itself, you can imagine the lengths to which an old bachelor may go. Before three weeks were out he had even gone so far as to regret, once and again, that he had not married Madeleine Vivet! ”

“ The question sent a cold chill through Pons; he felt a strong desire to slap the Presidente.
"Why, my dear cousin, that is the way to hunt down a work of art. You are face to face with antagonists that dispute the game with you. It is craft against craft! A work of art in the hands of a Norman, an Auvergnat, or a Jew, is like a princess guarded by magicians in a fairy tale." ”

“ Felicie Berthier stopped to speak to the invalid.
“I did not think you were cruel, cousin,” she said; “but if even a quarter of all that I hear of you is true, you are very false.... Oh! do not justify yourself,” she added quickly, seeing Pons’ significant gesture, “it is useless, for two reasons. In the first place, I have no right to accuse or judge or condemn anybody, for I myself know so well how much may be said for those who seem to be most guilty; secondly, your explanation would do no good. M. Berthier drew up the marriage contract for Mlle. de Marville and the Vicomte Popinot ”

“ It is nothing but a refusal in disguise. The fact is, the young man's mother is dead; he has an income of thirty thousand francs, and more to come at his father's death, and they don't care about the match for him. You have just come in in the middle of all this, dear cousin, so you must excuse our bad temper."
While Pons was casting about for the complimentary answer which invariably occurred to him too late when he was afraid of his host, Madeleine came in, handed a folded note to the Presidente, and waited for an answer. ”