Felicitas

“ It was well for pretty Felicitas that at that moment she was safely hidden from his sight.
Johanna watched him with a sour smile. "It would serve her right," said she. "But what can you do? You are powerless before her."
"I? What do you take me for? Am I a cur? A slave of women? Her charm is for me completely broken, years ago. To-day I should confront her only as a judge." ”

“ But I regarded it as my duty not to leave Felicitas yesterday, after being away so long. Putting yesterday out of the question, Felicitas tells me that you have been only once to Uhlenfelde during my absence, and that quite recently."
"The hypocritical creature!" he said to himself, and he felt a kind of melancholy admiration for her powers of dissimulation.
"Your wife is not you," he said, with a feeble attempt at emulating her.
"But she is part of me," responded Ulrich. ”

“ Then Felicitas asked in a trembling voice--
"Can you pray, Leo?"
He gazed at her in shocked amazement. "Pray, indeed! It's well for those who can. But I have sneaked out of the Almighty's way, like my dog Leo sneaks out of my way when he has torn a fowl to pieces."
"You ought to try," she said, with her most pious expression "It has done wonders for me lately.... I confide all my yearning to the merciful ear of the Saviour, and----"
"Yearning? Yearning for what?" he asked. ”

“ Felicitas made a bound towards the door.
"Now stay where you are, gracious madame," said the old hag. "It will be much better not to jump down his throat, directly he does come." And she hobbled off coughing to receive the visitor.
But Felicitas ran into the garden-salon and laid her ear on the key-hole. As she recognised the man's voice speaking in the hall, she put her hand on her heart and threw herself into an armchair with a deep sigh. ”

“ And above all, I pray Thee for one thing: if he loves her, spare him the endless suffering that I endure because of him. Let him be as happy as it is possible for him to be in his unhappy love. And especially guard him from playing the liar to Ulrich, so that I need not be ashamed unto death for him. Take Frau Felicitas too under your protection, and let all men, whether they be good or bad, enjoy Thy grace so that at last they shall all come to eternal bliss. ”

“ Six little words, in fact, define it,—that he loves and is beloved—for human love, in all its various sections, is Heaven—no other Paradise exists.’
‘’Tis the want of this, that’s brought my trouble,’ murmured Felicitas. ‘If I had Mercia’s love then wouldst thou see how pious I could be.’
‘Is a child contented wholly when one desire is satisfied? ”

“ In less than ten minutes, Felicitas was summoned into the dark room, and on the wonderful crystal there appeared the most beautiful vision of womanly loveliness that art had ever created. Mercia looking radiant with happiness, whose beauty was heightened and enhanced by the most costly draperies and diamonds that wealth could produce, was seated on a throne, surrounded by the imposing pageantry of a coronation ceremony. ”

“ Under my guidance he must grow up a weakling and a milksop, and no man. In order that he should have a stronger hand over him, I advised Felicitas to engage your pastor's son as his tutor. And when that young gentleman began to demoralise my household, I winked at it for the boy's sake. Finally, Felicitas herself got sick of him, and sent him packing. For two or three weeks after that she taught the little chap herself, but Felicitas is not the person to stick long to that sort of thing. ”

“ Felicitas, a noble pious Christian widow in Rome, who brought them up in the most perfect sentiments and practice of heroic virtue. After the death of her husband she served God in a state of continency91 and employed herself wholly in prayer, fasting, and works of charity. By the public and edifying example of this lady and her whole family, many idolators were moved to renounce the worship of their false gods, and to embrace the faith of Christ, which Christians were likewise encouraged by so illustrious a pattern openly to profess. ”

“ Felicitas gazed in amazement at the immense group photographed there; ejaculating from time to time, as he recognised each member of the nobility with whom he was acquainted, pictured before him.
‘By Jove!’ he exclaimed, ‘there is Nicholas of Russia, and his fat Empress! How interested she looks—see she has got her ear-trumpet in use, endeavouring to miss nothing. And Louis of France, forsooth; the new Louis Twentieth, not at all a bad looking fellow! And Osbert my cousin, who averred he’d be dumb, but evidently intends to be neither blind, nor deaf. ”

“ Ulrich went on again. "For a long time I have had something to thank you for, which has been weighing heavily on my mind."
"Still thanking me!" thought Leo, with an outbreak of unholy humour which was next door to despair.
"You ought to know it, because I am sure that it will give you pleasure. You have been the good angel of my house. No, don't deny it. It's a fact. It looks as if you know devilish well how to manage women. Then it is almost incredible how Felicitas has changed for the better since you have been coming here frequently. ”

“ I wanted you to meet Felicitas ... before I told you ..."
"... she has freely forgiven you for that tragic duel...."
"When you know Felicitas better, you will love her, too."
"Herr von Harden is undoubtedly weary. We'll drive him home, Ulrich."
"Countess Eltz is very kind...."
"I think I would rather greet my mother ... alone."
"Two more years, and our Leo will come back to us."
"It would make me very happy if you and Leo were to fall in love and marry."
"I shall never marry. I shall go into a convent." ”

“ Felicitas.
"You wished to see me?"
"And you have not wished to see me ... Leo?"
"Don't judge me, Leo ... you left me all alone ... and Ulrich was so kind."
"That's all over now, Felicitas ... and forgotten."
"Not forgotten ... you still wear my ring."
"Leo ... why do we pretend? I love you ... and you love me...."
"But I can endure the pain of seeing you day by day ... if it will make Ulrich happy."
"Leo ... you must come back to him ... you must! ”

“ You must make your own reckoning with what you call life. But if you think that I shall quietly stand by and look on while you draw my brother into your toils for a second time, and ruin him body and soul----"
"Oh, Jesus!" cried Felicitas. However much she might have planned and rehearsed this interview, that bitter cry from the depths of her tormented soul had not been in the programme.
Even Johanna seemed for a moment impressed by it; then she quickly took up again the thread she had dropped.
"Naturally, you deny it. You are an adept at playing the innocent. ”

“ The first to approach her in earnest with a proposal was Herr von Rhaden, the proprietor of Fichtkampen, a former loose-liver, and at one time a crony of old Baron Sellenthin's. He was at the end of his forties, sallow, grizzled, and gallant. Felicitas, admired as she knew herself to be, said "Yes" without much reflection. For since her thirteenth year, she had determined to take the first husband she could get, to throw herself into his arms whether he was the best or worst of men, so that she might be released from her forlorn situation by an early marriage. ”

“ Go on wearing it. Once it served as a symbol of our common sin; for the future it shall tell us that we are as one in being truly penitent for what has happened; and if we ourselves can never be happy again, we will at least unite in making another happy, who must be dearer to us than each other."
"That is an excellent sentiment, Felicitas," he said, "and if you keep to it all may yet be well."
"If you help me, I certainly will."
He knew what she was aiming at It was the same demand as the pastor's and Johanna's. He felt humbled. ”

“ In her heart she fondly hoped that the interpretation of his words would prove favourable to herself and Geometrus; and in some way yet to be discovered, the monarch might benefit them.
For could he not influence his ministers to 107do away with this absurd marriage objection? Yes, Felicitas had power to help them, if he could be induced to put it into operation. This was the one thing needful; the monarch’s goodwill, and all would then be plain sailing.
Their marriage need not hinder their work ”

“ So Felicia came forward and saluted the Queen timidly, but with so much grace that all were surprised.
“What are you doing here, my pretty child?” asked the Queen. “Are you not afraid of robbers?”
“Ah! madam,” said Felicia, “a poor shepherdess who has nothing to lose does not fear robbers.”
“You are not very rich, then?” said the Queen, smiling.
“I am so poor,” answered Felicia, “that a pot of pinks and a silver ring are my only possessions in the world.” ”

“ Oh, Felicia, if better days come to you, don't let them make you forget the past, and—and—if anyone endeavours to teach you to be ashamed of your mother, remember that, though she was a 'nobody' and not very wise, she loved you and tried to teach you to be a good girl, and—she did the best she could. God doesn't ask more than that, and you know His judgment is not the world's, but infinitely loving and merciful. ”

“ The Count, seeing that he had frightened his daughter, now tried to console her.
“Mind your father, Felicia, quietly and sensibly,” he said; “do not interrupt his words with nonsense, and do not provoke him with childish objections. You, being young and inexperienced, do not anticipate how important a period has begun in your life; that in your hand lies the power of adding to the Felsenburk name a new luster and undying glory. ”

“ Maria Felicia feared the convent bars, the life awaiting her behind them, that terrible living death, that giving up of will, activity, conviction, that dull devotion and blind obedience—and yet not for one moment did she falter or succumb. For her, just for her, such a lot was meted out—for her, whose blood ran so rapidly, in whom was such an abundance of strength, such a strong instinct and love of liberty. ”

“ A deep and poignant interest in these beings took possession of him. He had called them into existence; they belonged to him by a tie which nothing on earth, in heaven, or in hell itself could destroy. As long as they lived there must be an indestructible interest for him in this world. Felicita was no longer the first in his thoughts.
The dim veil which time had drawn around them was rent asunder, and they stood before him bathed in light, but placed on the other side of a gulf as fathomless, as impassable, and as death-like as the ice-crevasses yawning at his feet. ”

“ But such a sin as this, so full of woe and bewilderment to them all, entangled her soul also in its poisonous web.
"Why did you sigh so bitterly?" asked Felicita again.
"The world is so full of misery," she answered, in a tremulous and troubled voice; "its happiness is such a mockery!"
"Have you found that out at last, dear Phebe?" said Felicita. "I have been telling you so for years. The Son of Man fainting under the Cross—that is the true emblem of human life. Even He had not strength enough to bear His cross to the place called Golgotha. ”

“ She was herself lost in a whirl of bewilderment, and of mingled hope and fear. Could it possibly be that Felicita would learn that Jean Merle was still living, and the mode and manner of his life through this long separation, and yet stand aloof from him, afar off, as one on whom he had no claim, claim for pity and love? But if she could relent towards him, how must it be in the future? It could never be that she would own the wrong she had committed openly in the face of the world. What was to happen now? Phebe was hardly less feverishly agitated than Felicita herself. ”

“ What you call glory I call shame. We have comprehended each other, and we part forever; peace is not possible between us. No, no; what my father wishes I will not do for myself nor against you, my Emperor, who have never been treated by your friends with candor, and who were the first to praise it in me as a virtue.”
Day after day passed, and the Count did not receive the desired answer from his daughter, nor did he receive a supplication or one repentant word. And Maria Felicia expected no sign of relenting from her father. ”

“ Felicia shook her head. "We can't really be happy unless we are good; and if we are good we shall 'love not the world,' but shall stand apart from it."
"But I must love the world; I can't help loving the world, it is so grand and beautiful and funny. I love the whole of it: all the trees and the fields, and the towns and the cities, and the prim old people and the dear little children. I love the places—the old places because I have known them so long, and the new places because I have never seen them before; and I love the people best of all. I adore people, Felicia ”

“ I should like to feel that I was so good and clever that I was helping the man to be better and cleverer even than he was before."
"I should like all my happiness and all my interest to centre in that one particular man," said Felicia; "and to feel that he was a fairy prince, and that I was a poor beggar-maid, who possessed nothing but his love."
"Oh! I shouldn't. I would rather feel that I was a young princess, and that he was a warrior, worn-out and wounded in the battle of life; but that my love would comfort and cheer him after all the tiresome wars that he'd gone through. ”