John Shaw

“ Shaw is not a great dramatist—he has not allowed himself to be a great imaginative artist—he turned his back upon imaginative art at the age of twenty-nine.
In the cleverest of his plays there is, indeed, always one real person, and that person is none other than himself. In Man and Superman, in Arms and the Man, and in John Bull's Other Island, the hero is in each case nothing more nor less than a new impersonation of Bernard Shaw. ”

“ In 1820 Shaw married at Ayr Mary Primrose Kennedy, sister, and ultimately heiress of David Kennedy of Kirkmichael, Ayrshire, and granddaughter of Sir John Whiteford, bart. He was appointed in 1826 assistant adjutant-general at Belfast, whence he was transferred later in the year to the northern district of England, and stationed at Manchester, where he remained nine years. ”

“ How do you know that thing doesn’t leak?”
Ray smiled again, as he climbed briskly into the suit. “I’ll be all right,” he said serenely. “You just keep an eye on things here—but don’t touch anything. I’ll be right back....” He settled the helmet on his head, motioned for Farmer to help him check the connections of the suit’s self-contained oxygen supply.
John Andrew was straightening up from doing this when he saw the nonapus for the first time. It was climbing over the rail at the stern, and already beginning to make a puddle on the deck. Farmer froze, and gulped wordlessly. ”

“ Did John make him take a Turkish bath?
LINA. No. He doesnt need Turkish baths: he needs to put on a little flesh. I dont understand what it's all about. I found him trying to shoot Mr Tarleton.
MRS TARLETON. [with a scream] Oh! and John encouraging him, I'll be bound! Bunny: you go for the police. [To Gunner] I'll teach you to come into my house and shoot my husband.
GUNNER. Teach away. I never asked to be let off. I'm ashamed to be free instead of taking my part with the rest. Women—beautiful women of noble birth—are going to prison for their opinions. ”

“ We shall have a couple of electro-motors harnessed to the pony phaeton shortly."
"Mr Conolly is coming on business then."
"Of course he is coming to pay a visit and make a holiday. But he will incidentally take notes of how the place can be most inconveniently upset with his machinery."
"You are not glad that he is coming."
"I am indifferent. So many people come here in the autumn whom I don't care for that I have become hardened to the labor of entertaining them. I like to have young people about me. Sir John, of course, has to do with men of business and politicians ”

“ John, you won't tell the girls?"
"Not 'the girls;' but I must tell Agnes."
"Then I shan't promise!"
John was staggered for a moment, but after an instant he said: [ 107]
"I must not do evil that good may come. I'm sure you will think better of it, Hugh dear; and it would be such a comfort to me if you would."
"At anyrate don't tell Agnes to-day, till I have had time to think it over. Do as much as that for me, John."
"I think I may promise that," answered John. "Hugh, we've had such a beautiful sermon this morning on, 'Able to keep you from falling;' it has helped me ever so much." ”

“ I talked like a duchess; and if Johnny or Hypatia let slip a word that was like old times, I was down on them like anything. And now I'm beginning to do it myself at every turn.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. There comes a time when all that seems to matter so little. Even queens drop the mask when they reach our time of life.
MRS TARLETON. Let you alone for giving a thing a pretty turn! Youre a humbug, you know, Lord Summerhays. John doesnt know it; and Johnny doesnt know it ”

“ GUNNER [rising apprehensively and reading in a hardly audible voice, like a very sick man] I, John Brown, of 4 Chesterfield Parade, Kentish Town, do hereby voluntarily confess that on the 31st May 1909 I trespassed on the land of John Tarleton at Hindhead, and effected an unlawful entry into his house, where I secreted myself in a portable Turkish bath, with a pistol, with which I threatened to take the life of the said John Tarleton, and was prevented from doing so only by the timely arrival of the celebrated Miss Lena Sh-Sh-sheepanossika. ”

“ Bedad I don't think he's quite right in his head.
DORAN. Divil a matther if he has plenty o money. He'll do for us right enough.
MATTHEW [deeply impressed by Broadbent, and unable to understand their levity concerning him] . Did you mind what he said about rethrenchment? That was very good, I thought.
FATHER DEMPSEY. You might find out from Larry, Corny, what his means are. God forgive us all! it's poor work spoiling the Egyptians, though we have good warrant for it; so I'd like to know how much spoil there is before I commit meself. [He rises. They all rise respectfully] . ”

“ If I get into parliament, I'll try to get an Act to prevent any of you from giving Patsy less than a pound a week [they all start, hardly able to believe their ears] or working him harder than you'd work a horse that cost you fifty guineas.
DORAN. Hwat!!!
CORNELIUS [aghast] . A pound a—God save us! the boy's mad.
Matthew, feeling that here is something quite beyond his powers, turns openmouthed to the priest, as if looking for nothing less than the summary excommunication of Larry. LARRY. How is the man to marry and live a decent life on less? ”

“ So you can’t be allowed to set off your atom bombs, or worse, where they might get through to another planet. We can’t actually interfere with you, so we’ve closed the gates; that’s all.”
John Andrew, thinking it over, said “Oh,” and let go of her wrist. She turned and went back to the rail again, after flashing him the most de luxe smile so far. Farmer came out of a philosophic haze to notice she was leaving. He said, “Hey!”
She looked over her shoulder. Farmer didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to delay her. Finally, he pointed to the nonapus, and said, “What about that monster? ”

“ Consequently he has always classed himself as an advanced thinker and fearlessly outspoken reformer. Sitting at his writing table, he has on his right the windows giving on Portland Place. Through these, as through a proscenium, the curious spectator may contemplate his profile as well as the blinds will permit. On his left is the inner wall, with a stately bookcase, and the door not quite in the middle, but somewhat further from him. Against the wall opposite him are two busts on pillars: one, to his left, of John Bright; the other, to his right, of Mr Herbert Spencer. ”

“ No one can help admiring Mr. Shaw. The dogged persistence which has carried him, unflinching, through adversity into his present fame, without a single compromise or hesitation, is, apart altogether from the question of the truth of his opinions, an admirable quality in a man. ”

“ CORNELIUS. What the jeuce does Nora want to go to the Roun Tower for?
AUNT JUDY. Oh, the Lord knows! Romancin, I suppose. Props she thinks Larry would go there to look for her and see her safe home.
BROADBENT. I'm afraid it's all the fault of my motor. Miss Reilly must not be left to wait and walk home alone at night. Shall I go for her?
AUNT JUDY [contemptuously] . Arra hwat ud happen to her? Hurry in now, Corny. Come, Mr Broadbent. I left the tea on the hob to draw; and it'll be black if we don't go in an drink it.
They go up the hill. It is dark by this time. ”

“ Shaw's parents came to America when she was four years old, and after living four years in Massachusetts they moved to the then unsettled part of Michigan where the young girl encountered all the hardships of pioneer life. She was, however, a child of strong individuality and those pioneer days were an inspiration to her. She may be said to have been self-educated, for her schooling consisted in making herself master of every book and paper that fell in her way. At fifteen years of age she began to teach, remaining a teacher for five years. ”

“ KEEGAN. You feel at home in the world, then?
BROADBENT. Of course. Don't you?
KEEGAN [from the very depths of his nature] . No.
BROADBENT [breezily] . Try phosphorus pills. I always take them when my brain is overworked. I'll give you the address in Oxford Street.
KEEGAN [enigmatically: rising] . Miss Doyle: my wandering fit has come on me: will you excuse me?
AUNT JUDY. To be sure: you know you can come in n nout as you like.
KEEGAN. We can finish the game some other time, Miss Reilly. [He goes for his hat and stick.]
NORA. No: I'm out with you [she disarranges the pieces and rises] . ”

“ General handshaking, Broadbent shaking hands with everybody effusively. He accompanies them to the garden and can be heard outside saying Goodnight in every inflexion known to parliamentary candidates. Nora, Aunt Judy, Keegan, Larry, and Cornelius are left in the parlor. Larry goes to the threshold and watches the scene in the garden.
NORA. It's a shame to make game of him like that. He's a gradle more good in him than Barney Doran.
CORNELIUS. It's all up with his candidature. He'll be laughed out o the town.
LARRY [turning quickly from the doorway] . Oh no he won't: he's not an Irishman. ”

“ The more he put the brake on the more the pig squealed n the fasther he dhruv.
AUNT JUDY. Why couldn't he throw the pig out into the road?
DORAN. Sure he couldn't stand up to it, because he was spanchelled-like between his seat and dhat thing like a wheel on top of a stick between his knees.
AUNT JUDY. Lord have mercy on us!
NORA. I don't know how you can laugh. Do you, Mr Keegan?
KEEGAN [grimly] . Why not? There is danger, destruction, torment! What more do we want to make us merry? Go on, Barney: the last drops of joy are not squeezed from the story yet. ”

“ You got to be more’n car’ful, though, ’bout one thing, an’ that’s not to git their tails stuck into yer feet ur hands. Ef you do, an’ it goes in 99 deep, ten chances to one you’re a “goner.”
Well, John an’ me expected to mek a big haul that night. We went down to the landin’, an’ fussed ’roun’ thar, gittin’ the old skiff ready. We warn’t in any hurry, fur we hed all day afore us. ’Twur one o’ them shiny, quiet June days, an’ it bein’ Sunday made it ’pear all the more so.
The Bay wuz ez blue ez could be—the water wuz becomin warm—that’s what made it blue. ”

“ Mrs. Headley smiled, looking half convinced.
"Who is it you are afraid to leave?" asked Agnes coaxingly. "Is it me, mother?"
"You?" echoed Mrs. Headley, stroking her face tenderly. "No, not you, dear."
"Then it is John."
"No, no; John is a good boy, he will help you I am sure."
"Then is it Hugh?"
"No; Hugh is steady, and very fond of his lessons; and he will be sure to do as you wish him, if he promises beforehand."
"Then is it Alice?"
Mrs. Headley shook her head.
"Then it must be Minnie, for there's no one else. And as to Minnie, you know I love her exactly as if she were my own child." ”

“ There is singularly little reason for being impressed by this hasty, romantic, and loud-sounding crusade against Christian morality and its Ideal.
In Mr. George Bernard Shaw we have a very different man. Nobody denies Mr. Shaw's cleverness, least of all Mr. Shaw himself. He is depressingly clever. He exhibits the spectacle of a man trying to address his audience while standing on his head—and succeeding.
He has been singularly fortunate in his biographer, Mr. Chesterton, and one of the things that make this biography such pleasing reading is the personal element that runs through it all. ”

“ BROADBENT. Your syndicate too, old chap. You have your bit of the stock.
LARRY. Yes, mine if you like. Well, our syndicate has no conscience: it has no more regard for your Haffigans and Doolans and Dorans than it has for a gang of Chinese coolies. It will use your patriotic blatherskite and balderdash to get parliamentary powers over you as cynically as it would bait a mousetrap with toasted cheese. ”

“ Headley entered the dining-room the next morning.
"Yes; Minnie has been turning it, and twisting it, and weighing it, and smelling it—doing everything except open it," said John, laughing.
"I do wish to know what it is though!" said Minnie shyly, "and I believe John wants to see just as much as I do."
"I will open it presently," answered their mother, smiling, while she seated herself at the head of the table.
"Minnie is always rather curious," observed Hugh, looking up from a lesson he had been conning over. ”

“ The reply of the evangelists would have been that all these inquiries are idle, because if Jesus had wished to escape, he could have saved himself all that trouble by doing what John describes him as doing: that is, casting his captors to the earth by an exertion of his miraculous power. If you asked John why he let them get up again and torment and execute him, John would have replied that it was part of the destiny of God to be slain and buried and to rise again, and that to have avoided this destiny would have been to repudiate his Godhead. ”

“ Hugh, that that boy's a humbug."
"How do you know he is?" Hugh answered angrily.
"He never looks you in the face for one thing."
"Nonsense. Did ever you hear such an absurd thing, Agnes, to judge by a fellow's looks?"
"Then he does not go with the good set at school, you can't say he does," pursued John.
"He goes with me, and I should like you to tell me I belong to the bad set."
"You will if you go on with him," John answered quickly; and then he saw Agnes move suddenly and raise her eyes from the table, where they had been fixed during the altercation. ”

“ I should not have let it out like a girl."
"I dare say," said Alice, her eyes sparkling with displeasure; "and so because we are girls we are not to be trusted with anything, while because you are boys—for no other reason—you——"
She paused, Agnes's face stopped her, and then her eyes turned to John's, and she noticed that his were fixed earnestly on the text, which was just touched by the morning sunshine, as it crept silently along the wall—
"Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?"
"Oh, John," she said softly; "I quite forgot." ”