Shaibalini

“ Just then, on that desolate hill, within that inaccessible thicket, in that unearthly period of impenetrable darkness, some one touched Shaibalini's body. At first she thought it was some beast of the forest; so she moved away a little. But again she perceived that touch on her body, and this time she could distinctly feel that it was exactly the touch of a human hand—nothing, however, could be seen in the darkness. Shaibalini then in a fear-stricken voice asked, "Who are you? Are you an angel or a man?" Shaibalini had no reason to be afraid of man, but she could not but dread the Gods ”

“ Humanity must bow down before Thy Majesty.
The rain ceased after a long time, but the storm was still raging; only its fury had abated a little. The all-encompassing darkness had now become denser than before. Shaibalini could feel that it was not possible for her to ascend or descend the slippery hills in that ungodly hour, and so she remained seated there, shivering with cold. ”

“ The contracted eye-brows of Shaibalini, which lent a peculiar grace to her countenance, convinced the Nawab that she was not an ordinary woman. He thought within himself, "Let her go. If she succeeds so much the better, if not, Mahammud Taki will accomplish the object, at Murshidabad." He then said to Shaibalini, "Would you go alone?"
"I am a woman, I shall not be able to go alone. If you will be so kind to me, please order a maid-servant and an armed man to accompany me," replied Shaibalini entreatingly. ”

“ We search the whole world to find it again—only the memory of it is left. There is a curse on the love of childhood.
Shaibalini was under the impression that she would be married to Protap. Protap knew it was not to be so. She was the daughter of an agnate; the relationship was distant, but yet an agnate. This was the first error in Shaibalini’s reckoning.
Then Shaibalini was the daughter of poor parents. She had no relation alive excepting her mother. They had nothing to call their own save a hut and Shaibalini’s wealth of beauty. Protap also was poor. ”

“ The Swami said,
"When you were talking with Shaibalini, it seemed to me from her movements, that she was no longer insane and that she has not forgotten you altogether."
"Shaibalini asked me not to meet her again," observed Pratap touchingly. "I could feel that so long as I would live in this world, Shaibalini or Chandra Shekhar could not possibly be happy. I thought it was quite improper for me to live as a thorn in the way of those who are my best well-wishers and objects of love and veneration. ”

“ The fleeting away of time cannot be measured by months or years. Its flow is swift or tardy as our situation is pleasant or unpleasant. To Shaibalini, the few days she had not been greeted by Pratap in that fond and affectionate manner, appeared to be as long as the great interval between two ages. Shaibalini was overpowered with emotion, and she closed her eyes, as she was gliding away through that vast sheet of water; she asked the moon and the stars over her head, to bear witness to what had fallen from Pratap's lips. ”

“ In a dark and lonely place, where no human face can be seen, and at a time when the thoughts of this world and its gross affairs are conspicuous by their absence, the mind becomes deeply absorbed in any matter upon which it is fixed. In the midst of those dismal associations, Shaibalini, with a weak mind and a weak body, got beside herself in the deep and uninterrupted meditation of her husband. ”

“ Ramananda Swami's last words went straight into Pratap's heart. They infused a new spirit into his inert and almost lifeless body and he roared out, as if, a lion had been roused from sleep,
"What will you understand, you are an ascetic! What man is there in this world who can fathom the love I bear to Shaibalini? Who will appreciate with what devotion and constancy I have loved Shaibalini during these long sixteen years? I am not attached to her with any evil motive—my love is nothing but a desire to sacrifice my life for the sake of the object of my love. ”

“ Pratap was carried away by emotion and he shed tears.
"It is impossible for me to be happy," said Shaibalini in a melancholy but serious tone. "So long as you shall be in this world, I shall not be happy—"
"Why, Shaibalini?" enquired Pratap in surprise.
"So long as you shall be in this world, pray, do not appear before me," replied Shaibalini with emotion. "The mind of a woman is extremely frail and I do not know how long I shall be able to keep it under my control. We must not meet again, in this life." ”

“ Shaibalini. These hills are visited by divine beings; I cannot say what mysterious change they have brought in me—I dream hell all day and night.
Chandra Shekhar noticed that Shaibalini's eyes were fixed upon some object in the direction of the entrance to the cave—it seemed, she was looking at it very closely. He saw that her already pale face was growing paler and her eyes were getting dilated more and more every moment—she began to take hurried and heavy breaths, and every hair of her body stood on its end, as she began to shiver, perhaps, with fear. ”

“ Pratap then cried, "Shaibalini, this is our marriage." "No further—let this be the place," responded Shaibalini readily, with warmth.
Pratap sank into the water to drown himself. Shaibalini did not. Fear came upon her at that moment. She thought within herself, "Why should I die? What is Pratap to me? I fear death—my heart fails—I cannot court it." Shaibalini turned back, and swam up to the land. ”

“ Her eyes next fell upon the sparkling little faces of the beautiful stars, smiling in the blue sky, like so many unveiled beauties of matchless charms; they were, it seemed, pointing out to one another the corpse of Shaibalini, with their little glittering fingers. Some of those shining luminaries closed their twinkling eyes at the very sight of an earthly sinner—many hid their bright faces behind the clouds, and others vanished away in dark obscurity, shocked at the horror of the scene. ”

“ Shaibalini breathed a deep sigh. She thought, "It was my hope that I would see Pratap if I would only get away from home; I thought that I would again return to the factory at Purandarpur, which is close to Pratap's house, and from the window of my room I would make Pratap a captive to my glance. Then, at an opportune moment I would give Foster the slip and throw myself at Pratap's feet. I was a bird in the cage and so I knew nothing of the ways of this world. I did not know that man proposes and God disposes. ”

“ Pratap came closer to Shaibalini, and took her hand in his, after a long, long time. It then became very difficult for them to swim. They again caught hold of the support.
Shaibalini then said, "Now I am ready to swear anything you like. Pratap, after what a long time I clasp your hand in mine!"
Pratap. Swear by me, or I will drown myself here. What is this life for? Who will willingly bear the burden of a sinful life? What can be more desirable than to lay down that burden on the sacred bosom of the flowing Bhagirathi, under the silvery radiance of the glorious moon? ”

“ On Protap’s return after a prolonged absence, Rupasi was relieved of a terrible anxiety, but she was grieved at the news of Shaibalini’s death. Sundari came to see him as soon as she heard of his return. She was extremely pained at the news of Shaibalini’s demise and said, “The inevitable has come to pass, but Shaibalini’s troubles are now over. How can I persuade myself to believe that after all death has not been better for her than life?” ”

“ Ah me, its prospects were marred on the very day I first saw Pratap. God, who can read through our minds, must have ordained my damnation on that very day. Even in this world I am in hell—my mind is hell itself; or why am I suffering so much pain and affliction? If it is not so, how is it that I passed this long time with Foster, who is verily my eyesore? Nor is that all. Perhaps evil betides all that is good and dear to me. It is, perhaps, on my account that Pratap is now in danger—oh! why did I not put an end to my life?" Shaibalini began to weep again. ”

“ The servant explained to the Englishmen that she was mad.
Then the Englishmen said, “Ask her what she wants.”
The servant did as directed.
“I am hungry,” said Shaibalini in reply. After the servant had explained to the Englishmen, Amyatt said, “Give her something to eat.”
It was with too glad a heart that the servant took her; to the boat reserved for cooking. With a glad heart, because Shaibalini was exceedingly handsome. But she would not take anything. “Do take something please.” urged the servant. “I am a Brahmin woman,” demurred Shaibalini, “how can I take food touched by you? ”

“ Chandra Shekhar called her near him. He then whispered into her ears that Shaibalini had gone mad. Sundari now understood everything. She remained absolutely silent for a time. First of all, her eyes looked a bit brighter with moisture—they then became wet, and finally, tears came out of them in torrents—Sundari began to weep. Blessed are women in this world! This Sundari, on another occasion, had sincerely wished for Shaibalini's death—she had prayed that Shaibalini's boat might sink with her; but now, none felt more than Sundari for Shaibalini. ”

“ Palanquins were sent to Pratap's house to bring Dalani and Kulsam.
The day had far advanced then. In that house there was none but Shaibalini. The Nawab's men saw her and concluded that she was the Begum.
Shaibalini heard that she was to go to the castle. All on a sudden an evil intention sprang up in her mind. The poets forget themselves in their eulogy of hope. And no doubt, hope is often the source of many pleasures and enjoyments of this world; but at the same time, it is hope which is the origin of sorrow and misery. All crimes are committed in the hope of gain. ”

“ Shaibalini did not show temper at Pratap's outburst. With a trembling voice, almost weeping, she gently said, "If you had considered my living with an alien under the same roof to be my misfortune, why did you not kill me in the boat? You had guns with you."
Pratap got more annoyed and said, rather haughtily, "I would have done that—I refrained from it only because it is a great sin to kill a woman; but for you death is better than life." ”

“ You shall again have to follow Dalani Begum, after we have done all that we should, in respect of Shaibalini. Know it, you have no other mission in life, except to do good to humanity, whenever you can. Don't be anxious for Shaibalini—I shall be here to watch her. But you must not meet her without my permission. If you act up to my advice, immense good could be done to Shaibalini".
After this, Chandra Shekhar took leave of his preceptor. Ramananda Swami then imperceptively entered into the cave, in that dismal darkness. ”

“ Gradually the night advanced and with it the darkness became denser and more hideous. In the dead of night Dalani saw, with fear, a stalwart man, moving about, alone, in that desolate region. The man drew near Dalani and sat by her, without speaking a word.
The stalwart man again! He was no other than that mysterious person who had ascended the hills with Shaibalini on his arms, during the furious storm which had burst forth on the mountainous region, where unfortunate Shaibalini had been cast by the cruel tyranny of fate! ”

“ How many precious pearls and corals spread their lustre in the interior!—but it sucks human blood. No sooner a person charmed with the beauty of its habitation enters it, than the hundred-armed monster puts forth its arms one by one and seizes its prey; once caught, there is no escape. With its hundred arms and thousand ligaments, it embraces its victim, and then the monster applies its thousand blood-sucking discs to the body of the hapless being and drinks up his blood.
Considering herself unequal to the combat, Shaibalini retired from the field. ”

“ Shaibalini reflected for a time and said, “Very well, I grant it shall be so, but then what will become of you?”
“Don't you trouble yourself for me. The Englishman, who can confine the Brahmin woman Sundari in a boat has not set his foot in Bengal yet. We are born of Brahmin parents, we are the wives of Brahmins, if our minds be firm there can be no danger for us in this world. Do you go, I will reach home in course of the night anyhow. The God who overcometh all evil is my hope. Don’t delay any longer. My husband hasn’t had his meal yet, I don’t know whether he will have any to-day at all.” ”

“ Riding on the ripplets driven by the morning breeze, the spacious boat of Shaibalini moved in a northerly direction, the soft sounding ripples dashing against the bottom with a fluttering sound. You can trust a cunning artful cheat as much as you like, but never put your trust on the morning breeze. ”

“ After this Shaibalini did not say anything. She rose up and followed Ramcharan. She alighted from the Budgrow along with him. Parbati was following her, but she was stopped by Ramcharan. She remained in the boat out of fear. Shaibalini got into the palanquin, as asked by Ramcharan, who led it to Pratap's lodging.
Even then Dalani and Kulsam were putting up at Pratap's place. Ramcharan did not take Shaibalini into their room, lest their sleep were disturbed. He conducted her to an upstairs apartment, and after lighting a lamp there, asked her to take rest. ”

“ Anon she found a huge tiger come and take her up a hill in its mouth; Chandrashekhar came and taking up a flower from his pot of worship threw it at the tiger; forthwith its head was severed and the tiger expired. Shaibalini found that its face resembled Foster’s.
Towards the close of night, it seemed to Shaibalini as if she was dead, yet conscious. The ghouls flew up the dark skies with her corpse. They caught her up by the hair and flew across vast regions of black clouds and lightning fires. Aerial fairies peeped out of the cloud—billows and laughed at her. ”