Skeeter

“ They turned suddenly to the left and ran into a dark road which lead through a section of the Little Moccasin Swamp. The wheels began to slip in the mire and Skeeter gave his entire attention to his automobile to prevent stalling in the mud. At last they reached firmer ground, and Skeeter returned to the conversation.
“Of co’se, I ain’t axin’ you fer no job, boss, but I’s been powerful assistance to a whole passel of young white mens dat’s come courtin’ in dis country.” ”

“ Then Skeeter asked:
“Is de Hen-Scratch pretty much busted up, Little Bit?”
“Naw. ’Tain’t hurt any. I nailed de legs on de tables an’ patched up de broke chairs an’ us is jes’ as good off as ever.”
Skeeter glanced toward his automobile and rose to his feet.
“I’s gwine back to town, niggers!” he announced. “You-all kin foller. ”

“ Skeeter answered regretfully, as he snapped his fingers and the little Spitz leaped under the saloon doors and sprang into his owner’s arms. “I got to make a livin’ keepin’ bar. I’ll go wid you some yuther time.”
The woman walked down the street and Skeeter returned to the table where he had been sitting. He sighed like a furnace and wiped the sweat from his face.
“Figger,” he said pantingly, “dat gal nearly gibs me de jim-jams eve’y time I sees her. I loses all de good sense I’m got. I feels like a fool an’ I acks like a fool, an’ ’pears to me like dat gal is laughin’ at me all de time.” ”

“ She looked as if dizziness and weakness were about to overcome her.
“When a nigger gits in trouble wid de white folks, it’s all off wid him,” Skeeter blundered on, his mind upon Hitch Diamond, and all unconscious of the impression he was making upon the girl beside him. “Sometimes luck is wid him an’ he kin run off, but most often he——”
Suddenly Skeeter broke off and looked at Dainty with popping eyes. ”

“ Skeeter made a bee-line for Mustard Prophet’s cabin where Mrs. Happy Rocket could be found. But he had no matrimonial intentions.
“I jes’ drapped over to tell you ’bout little Ready Rocket, Happy,” Skeeter began as soon as he was seated. “Ready won’t be home to-night.”
“Won’t—which?” Happy’s voice was almost a scream.
“Ready’s gwine lay out to-night,” Skeeter remarked easily, lighting a cigarette.
“How come?” Happy wailed, and her voice had a note of hysteria.
“It happened dis way,” Skeeter replied. “Ready got a little sleepy an’ I spread him down a pallet on de flo’ in de rear room. ”

“ Skeeter wondered if this extraordinary thing was attributable to prohibition. Surely the old order changeth!
“I ain’t know yo’ favor or yo’ face, an’ I ain’t met de ’quaintance of yo’ name, boss,” Skeeter replied.
“My name is Dick Nuhat,” the white man responded promptly. “I am not altogether an honest man, but I am a gentleman. This is a request of one gentleman to another.”
“I likes to ’commodate white gentlemens, boss,” Skeeter said uneasily; “but I ain’t got de ten dollars, an’ so I cain’t affode to lend it.” ”

“ I mean to train a squirrel to come gnaw me free. What you say to that, Skeeter?”
“Squirrel much! I’m going to be so quick with my gun that the bold brigands will wish they had stayed with Uncle Albert. As for lassoing—I am some pumpkins myself with the rope. Look at this!” and twirling the gunnysack [221] around with the lunch serving as ballast, Skeeter caught his chum neatly around the neck.
“Oh, oh! You’ll mash the sandwiches!” wailed the others.
“Let’s sit down and eat ’em up now,” suggested Skeeter. “I am tired of being made the beast of burden. I believe in distribution of labor.” ”

“ Skeeter saw here another opportunity to break up the fountains of the great deep and start a flood of tears, so he sought for a diplomatic answer in hope of preventing a crevasse.
“Shin is his daddy, you is his mammy—he b’longs to you bofe,” Skeeter replied.
“I figger dat he is my chile,” Mrs. Bone said, beginning to sniffle. 199
“Yes’m,” Skeeter answered hastily. “I thinks so, too!”
“Shin figgers dat little Shinny is his chile,” Mrs. Bone remarked, sniffling some more. ”

“ Nuhat hesitated a minute, looking sharply at Skeeter. He seemed undecided what to say in reply, but finally ventured:
“I didn’t own that horse in the first place. That horse’s real name is Springer, and its real owner is Old Griff.”
Skeeter opened his eyes until they were like china door-knobs. He wondered why he had not recognized the most famous race-horse in Louisiana, named Springer because of his peculiar springy gait. ”

“ In the many years that Skeeter had been his “pet nigger,” his “favorite insect,” Flournoy had found him in so many unexpected places that he had ceased to be surprised.
“What are you doing up on this roof?” Flournoy asked, pushing up the trap-door and looking at Skeeter’s outline in the dark.
“I climbed up to look fer fire on de roof, Marse John,” Skeeter said, artfully blocking the door with his foot so that the sheriff could not easily raise it higher. “Dis roof is powerful slick, Marse John. You better not climb out. Dar ain’t no fire up here nohow!” ”

“ Ho! He! He!” Skeeter Butts howled. “I done dat trick once myself. You-alls gwine try it agin?”
“Naw, suh.”
“I reckin not,” Skeeter laughed. “I tried smokin’ dat stuff twenty year ago an’ right now whenever I sees a bush of dat rabbit terbacker, I grabs a tree an’ begins to heave!”
Skeeter turned his machine and started back to Tickfall.
“Whar you want me to take you?” he asked.
“Home, quick!” Org sighed.
“Drap me at de Hen-Scratch,” Little Bit begged. “I ain’t got de cornstitution to ride no furder.”
Skeeter drove to Gaitskill’s home, lifted Org out of the machine and carried him to the porch. ”

“ As they topped the crest of a hill Skeeter looked back, but the pursuit had not started yet; so he yelled threateningly at the old gray, and they lurched off down the grade in a cloud of alkali dust.
Skeeter knew that the cowboys would probably follow him and try to recover the supplies, but he also knew that they would not get them without a fight. He had promised the Kirks that he would bring back the supplies, and Skeeter Bill meant to keep his word. ”

“ Git up!”
“Hush, Skeeter!” Mustard Prophet warned him. “You’re hollerin’ loud enough to wake up all de white folks in dis town, but it takes a real whoopful tone to wake a nigger. Don’t fotch all de white folks up on us.”
“How we gwine git dis old fool woked up?” Skeeter snapped.
“Take a brick off de top of de chimney an’ throw it down at him,” Little Bit suggested.
They wrenched off a brick and threw it. It hit the ground with a loud slap. Vinegar slept on.
“I knowed dat would be de come-out,” Hitch grumbled. “Bricks won’t wake up a nigger onless dey land on his head!” ”

“ The woman’s fat body shook with silent laughter and her little pig eyes glowed like emeralds. She laid a heavy, fat hand on Skeeter’s knee.
“I’s got a hoodoo face, Skeeter!” she bawled. “When a nigger looks at my fat mug, all de meanness in him comes right out on his face so I kin read it like de white folks reads a book. Yes, suh, I got a hoodoo face!”
While Skeeter Butts sat beside her and trembled, wondering what to say, and very much wishing himself somewhere else, Dinner Gaze and Tucky Sugg came around to the side of the house where they were sitting. ”

“ To Skeeter’s surprise, nobody believed him.
“Naw, suh,” the reverend Vinegar Atts proclaimed, “you muss hab said somepin shameful to dat little gal. She wusn’t show-actin’ when she bust out cryin’ like dat.”
“Dat’s de way I figger,” Hitch Diamond growled. “Ef you wus a’ innercent man, how come you didn’t stan’ yo’ ground’ an’ fight when dat Deo wus fixin’ to pound yo’ face in?”
“I ain’t no fightin’ man,” Skeeter protested. “I’s a bizzness man. But I didn’t say nothin’ an’ I didn’t do nothin’—I wus discriminated agin by dem show folks!” ”

“ Skeeter replied promptly. “I done courted ’bout a millyum womens my own self, an’ I knows all de funny curves dey tries on. I gives exputt advice to all de niggers dat marries in Tickfall. I ain’t no marrifyin’ man myse’f, but I favors it an’ he’ps it along.”
“How can you render assistance through your conversation?” the young man smiled.
“Gosh, white man! You ain’t never done no courtin’ in de South, is you? Eve’y white man whut goes courtin’ hires a nigger to go wid him.” ”

“ Skeeter asked uneasily.
“I argufies dis way,” Vinegar declared, boring with his right middle finger into the palm of his left hand to emphasize his remarks: “Ef you is gwine die an’ go to hell ’thout reformin’ yo’ badness, of co’se yo’ secret enemies am de debbil an’ his angels, an’ dem plans you spoke ’bout is a kind of infernum machine like a cuttin’-box. I bet you git bofe yo behime legs chopped off befo’ to-morrer mawnin’.”
“Lawd,” Skeeter sighed pitiably. “I’s powerful glad dar’s a full moon to-night. She’ll git up over dem trees in a little while. I needs mo’ light!” ”

“ Skeeter said. “I walks up to Marse Tom’s jes’ easylike, kinder moseyin’ along, an’ I sneaks in de back way an’ I sneaks out de back way an’ I walks down de back side of de hill an’ makes a roundance to de road at de front of de bottom of de hill.”
“Dat’s de properest way to do,” Dazzle said.
“Yo’ plan is dis,” Skeeter continued. “You drives my little automobile an’ waits fer me at de foot of de hill on de side of de road. You keeps dat engyne runnin’ an’ you heads dat machine to’rds out of town. We goes straight to de Nigger-Heel an’ gits our money.” ”

“ It ain’t no good.”
“Skeeter,” she said. “Carry Org up-stairs to my room. I’ll lead the way.”
Skeeter lifted the prostrate boy and carried him where his sister led. He lingered around the bed where he had placed Org until he saw Miss Virginia open the drawer of a dressing-table and place the green-plush box within it and shut the drawer.
“You wants me to git de dorctor, Miss Virginny?” Skeeter asked. ”

“ We have the best authority for the statement that the wicked flee where no man pursueth.
Skeeter and Dazzle decided that all the inhabitants of Tickfall were after them for the theft of the rabbit-foot!
Skeeter took one look behind him at that cloud of dust, caught hold of his spark lever and pulled it down to the last notch, then slowly opened his throttle until it could go no farther. The speed of his flight broke all records in Louisiana for his make of automobile. ”

“ Then Deo did something which made Skeeter’s jaw drop with despair—he closed each of the gaping manacles with a loud snap! 205
And Skeeter did not have a key to open them again!
Then Tella Tandy did a most astounding thing—she sprang to her feet with a loud, shrill scream!
Everybody turned and looked at her with astonishment—Skeeter Butts most astonished of all.
“Whut you mean by sayin’ dat to me, Skeeter Butts?” she whooped. “You is a low-down nigger to insult a lady like dat! Oh, my Gawd!” ”

“ The old gray looked like an advertisement for a popular soap-suds powder when they skidded, slewed and lurched down on to the sheep-ranch flat and stopped at the door of the little cabin. Skeeter yelped loudly, but no one answered his hail; so he fell off the rickety seat and began gathering up packages from the rear of the wagon, while the ancient gray spread its legs wide apart and heaved like a bellows.
“Maud S,” said Skeeter, “you ain’t —— for speed, but yuh shore can lather a-plenty. ’F I had a razor I’d give yuh a shave.” ”

“ He ain't got guts enough to hang a sheep-herder!”
Skeeter turned and looked at this man. He was a small, thin-faced, almost chinless person with close-set eyes and a broken nose. His eyes dropped under Skeeter's stare, and he turned away, walking with arms bent stiffly at the elbow and with a peculiar swaying motion.
“That's Kales,” said Freel as Skeeter turned back. “He's a gun-man. I think he is working for some of the cattle outfits.”
Skeeter nodded.
“I've heard of him. Feller told me that Kales never missed his man. He will—some day. They all do.” ”

“ Movies don’t touch the tramps in the mountains but they are better than nothing. When are you going to leave those diggings and come back to the good old burg? Skeeter ate three cream puffs and two ice cream cones after the show and washed them down with a couple of chocolate milk shakes. Mrs. Halsey says she may have to go to boarding to fill her hopeful up. I pity the boardinghouse keeper. The worst thing about Skeeter is that he never shows his keep. After all those weeks in the mountains and all those good eats he is as skinny as ever. Do you ever see Mr. Spring-keeper and Tom Tit? ”

“ Vinegar boomed. “When I gits sot good, I begins to spraddle.”
Skeeter reached to his hip pocket and brought out his dream book.
“Whut you flashin’ dat book aroun’ fer, Skeeter?” Atts asked suspiciously. “De Bible say dat many study is weary on de flesh.”
“I needs some advices from a scholard,” Skeeter remarked as he lighted a cigarette. “I done smoked 238 up a whole pack of dese here things in de las’ half-hour. I’s powerful worrited in my mind.”
“You done come to de right place fer advices, son,” Atts announced with confidence. “Ef you got anything to ax me, jes’ bawl out!” ”

“ Conko answered, swallowing the raw whisky with one gulp and with a dry eye. “How is de bettin’ gittin’ on?”
“De niggers takes up eve’y bet, Conko,” Skeeter replied. “You see, dis here Hitch Diamond—nobody ain’t never knocked him out yit!”
“He ain’t never fit nobody yit,” Conko remarked easily. “Befo’ dis day is over I’ll make him wish he’d been borned a little nigger gal!”
“I hopes so,” Skeeter said with a nervous flutter in his tone. “I done bet de limit. Ef it ain’t a win wid you, I’s gwine hab de misforchine to lose fawty dollars.” ”