Patter

“ Miss Patterson is on the side of the angels, but she makes her way to them through some nasty mire, calling spades spades with a vigour which seems to have prevented her from paying much attention to some beautiful and hopeful things which also have everyday names. ”

“ Rupert thought for a moment. "There is a girl I love called Ruby Strode. You will probably find her at the Ingenue Theatre, London. Tell her that I understood and appreciated everything she did on my behalf—tell her she was my last thought."
"Right-ho," Patterson replied cheerily. "Now, crawl a few feet away and lie low until you hear me whistle twice. Then make for the stockade on your hands and knees. Each man for himself, remember. It's our only chance." ”

“ As Stanley Patterson said to his wife, where the two of them lolled wet in the sand by the tiny fresh-water stream that the Bartons waded in order to gain the Outrigger Club beach:
“Lord god of models and marvels, behold them! My dear, did you ever see two such legs on one small woman! Look at the roundness and taperingness. They’re boy’s legs. I’ve seen featherweights go into the ring with legs like those. And they’re all-woman’s legs, too. Never mistake them in the world. ”

“ Patterson. All were silent. “Students of the Belle Air Academy and citizens generally, I have the honor to announce to you that my friend, Mr. Dogberry, is about to supersede Mr. Sears. We must form a procession and place him in our midst, the post of honor, and then to mine host’s.” So speaking, Mr. Patterson descended, followed by Dogberry and myself. The students gave their candles to the negroes to hold, joined their hands, and danced round Dogberry with the wildest glee, while he received it all in drunken dignity. ”

“ Patterson, your character can stand it, I tell you, but mine can’t.”
“Friend of my soul, this goblet sip,” reiterated Patterson, offering Dogberry the glass.
“Thank you, Mr. Patterson, I would not choose any,” said he.
“You can’t but choose, Dogberry; there is no alternative. Do you remember what the poet beautifully says of the Roman daughter, who sustained her imprisoned father from her own breast?—
‘Drink, drink and live, old man; Heaven’s realm holds no such tide.’
Do you remember it? ”

“ The smile slowly faded from Tucker's face, that now looked quite rigid in the moonlight. He put down his glass and walked to the window as Patterson gloomily continued, “But that's nothing to you. You've got ahead of 'em both, and had your revenge by going off with the gal. That's what I said all along. When folks—especially women folks—wondered how you could leave a woman like your wife, and go off with a scallawag like that gal, I allers said they'd find out there was a reason. ”

“ Suddenly he raised his head, drew back, and thrust his hand into his bosom with a theatrical gesture.
“What's to keep me from killing Poindexter in his tracks?” he said wildly.
“Nothin' but HIS shooting first,” returned Patterson, with dismal practicality. “He's mighty quick, like all them army men. It's about even, I reckon, that he don't get ME first,” he added in an ominous voice.
“No!” returned Tucker, grasping his hand again. “This is not your affair, Patterson; leave him to me when I come back.” ”

“ Patterson. Other stories sink further toward burlesque. Old inhabitants of North Groton still remember the long drive which a neighbour made for Mrs. Patterson one stormy winter night. While the doctor was away in Franklin, attending to his practice, Mrs. Patterson fell into a state of depression which ended in hysterics. A neighbour was sent for, and Mrs. Patterson declared she was dying, and that her husband must be brought home at once. To her own family this situation would not have seemed the desperate affair it was to Mrs. Patterson's neighbour. ”

“ I want a glass myself.” Down went the wine, and, with a smack of his lips, Dogberry handed the glass to Mr. Patterson.
“Capital, ain’t it, eh?”
“Capital,” re-echoed Dogberry. The wine and his supposed honors had aroused the brain of the pedagogue in a manner which seemed to awake him to a new existence. While Mr. Patterson was striking the top from the other bottle, Dogberry handed me the candle which he held—the other he had put in his candlestick, taking out his own when he first drank—and lifting the tumbler, he stood ready. ”

“ Patterson agreed that this was the proper course and put in his time helping with the various chores, incidentally becoming a little better acquainted with Ruth Stiles. That night he lay awake for several hours, but nothing broke the stillness save a few indications of animal life outside the cabin and the labored breathing of the mountaineer in the bunk below him.
For three nights nothing occurred. But on the fourth night, Saturday, supper was served a little earlier than usual and Patterson noted just a suspicion of something [98] almost electrical in the air. ”

“ Miss Patterson seemed to get along well enough."
"Boys or girls do you have?"
"Boys; little wretches from eight to ten, such sinners, not a saint among them."
"Would you have even one saint? I wouldn't, for he couldn't be a truly normal, healthy boy. But I am keeping you standing and I know you are ready for your dinner. I'll walk back to the house with you, and you can tell me the particular kinds of sin that have annoyed you. I was a boy myself once, you know."
He walked by her side to the house. Miss Ri, seeing them coming, was at the door to meet them. ”

“ Pat, feeling that it would be useless to question his father any more, did not mention Anne's name again. He picked up his old comrades and went walking, swimming, and canoeing, keeping as much away from his father as possible. Mr. Patterson busied himself with office affairs, looking forward with relief to the end of the so-longed-for vacation. ”

“ Patterson, who slapped him on the shoulder, and cried out,
“Dogberry, be true to yourself.”
“I am true to myself. Yes, my old boy, old Sears, you’re no longer head devil at Belle Air Academy. You’re no devil at all, or if you are, old boy, you’re a poor devil, and be d—d to you.”
“You’re a drunken outcast, sir,” exclaimed Sears. “Never let me see your face again; I dismiss you from my service,” and so speaking, he took a note book from his pocket, and began hastily to take down the names of the students. ”

“ Patterson; “Dogberry, open the door; they speak of removing Sears, and why don’t you come forth and greet your friends? We have an idea of getting the appointment for you.”
This flattery took instant effect, for we heard Dogberry bustling to the door, and in a moment it was opened about half way, and the usher put his head out, and said, but with the evident wish that his invitation would be refused, “Will you come in sir? Why, William Russell!” to me, in surprise.
“Pale face, this is a youthful brave, whom I want the pale face to teach the arts of his race. Behold! I am the Charming Serpent. ”

“ It's the judicial frame of mind, not the sympathetic, which is the essential one."
I thoroughly agreed with Patterson in what he said. It happened, however, that very shortly afterwards the epidemic of influenza broke out, and we were all worked to death. One morning I met Patterson on my round, and found him looking rather pale and fagged out. He made the same remark about me. I was in fact feeling far from well, and I lay upon the sofa all afternoon with a splitting headache and pains in every joint. ”

“ I overheard Dogberry say.
“No, no,” replied Patterson, “it is your place.”
“Well, then, I’ll tell you at once, Sears, you’re no longer principal of this academy; you’re dished. Mr. Patterson, sir, will tell you so.”
“Mr. Patterson!” exclaimed Sears, now for the first time recognizing, in the semblance of the Indian chief, the distinguished lawyer and statesman. “Sir, I am more than astonished.”
“Sir,” rejoined Patterson, drawing himself up with dignity, “I am a Pawnee brave; more, a red man eloquent or a pale face eloquent, as it pleases me ”

“ I don’t wonder they should have forgotten themselves. Let them depart.”
“There, boys,” exclaimed Mr. Patterson, “I have a greater opinion of my oratorical powers than ever. Be ye all dismissed until I again appear as a Pawnee brave, which I fear will be a long time, for ’tis not every day that such men as my western client are picked up. But, Mr. Sears, what do you say about Dogberry? He must be where he was; to-morrow must but type yesterday. Dogberry, how is Verges?”
“I don’t know him,” said Dogberry, doggedly.
“Why, sir, he is the associate of your namesake in Shakspeare’s immortal page. ”

“ In udder words, sah, he kin kill er deer but he ain't er good han' to raise co'n. Yes, sah, de nigger ken plow [Pg 212] all roun' de Ingin, an' de Ingin knowin' dis, ginally gins de niggah er good chance."
"You work with Mr. Patterson on shares, don't you?"
"Yes, sah; ha'f o' dis crap 'longs ter me. W'y, fo' I come yare dar wa'n't hardly nuthin' raised on dis place but weeds an' grass. I happened to meet Patterson in Fort Smif one time. He hearn me talk erbout farmin' an' den he made a dead set at me ter come home wid him."
"Are the people throughout this neighborhood very peaceable?" ”

“ From her birth Patty was a great favorite with Old Props, who, in the absence of a legitimate father, constituted himself the male protector of the petite girl baby, whose tiny fingers toyed carelessly with the grizzled, brick-dusty beard of the gruff circus man whenever he took her in his arms. ”

“ Pat looked at Patty and Patty looked at Pat, mutely questioning. Should they venture on the cream puff story or not? Then Pat surprised a wicked twinkle in the captain’s eye and his decision was made. Turning to Bateese, he extended a frigid hand, bowed in haughty silence and stalked out, dragging the small boy in his wake. As Patty was about to follow she met the quizzical gaze of the captain fixed upon her and her eyes were led by his to the shambling bull dog at her heels. ”

“ She gave a little gasp as her husband entered the barn at a quick run, then waited with tense nerves for his re-appearance. Some ten minutes later the two men emerged arm in arm, not exactly with the jolly good fellow air which usually accompanies that attitude, but rather like captor and captive. Pat motioned Patty to drive to a small gate, whence he presently emerged leading his sheepish looking companion. The latter was greeted rapturously by Bateese and Cairlo. The small boy clambered from the carriage and ran to him. ”

“ Suddenly I was startled out of my reverie by the snapping of a twig: and, straining my ears for a further sound, I fancied I could hear the rustling of a large body forcing its way through the bush. "The man-eater," I thought to myself; "surely to-night my luck will change and I shall bag one of the brutes." Profound silence again succeeded; I sat on my eyrie like a statue, every nerve tense with excitement. Very soon, however, all doubt as to the presence of the lion was dispelled. ”

“ I love the birds the best of all."
"And the old cat was awful naughty when he caught the baby robin the other day and ate it up. Wasn't he, aunty?"
"Yes. Tom is a cruel, bad, bad cat," responded Miss Katie, as she squeezed Marian's little pink hand between her own palms. "That naughty puss gets plenty to eat in the house and there are lots of nice fat mice in the barn, and yet he slips slyly out to the orchard and takes the life of a poor, innocent little bird."
"And it made the mamma-bird cry because her little one was dead," added Miss Dorothy, who had drawn near. ”

“ Patty was so frightened that her milk-teeth chattered. You little folks who go to pleasant, orderly schools, and receive no heavier punishment than black marks in a book, can't have much idea how she suffered.
She expected every day after this to see a rope come out of Mr. Purple's pocket, and was sure if he hung anybody it would be Patty Lyman. Mr. Purple soon found she was afraid of him, and it gratified him, [Pg 124] because he was just the sort of man to like to see little ones tremble before him.
"I tell you what," said Moses, indignantly, "he's all the time picking upon Patty." ”

“ He began to cry, gently at first, then, seeing the consternation on Patty’s face, his wail became a fearful howl. The baggage man appeared and took in the situation. “Wants his purp, eh? Here, put him up an’ I’ll sit him on this trunk— There you are, kiddie!” Bateese became smiling and amiable at once. “The brute ain’t half as savage as you’d think. Not much mor’n a pup, and kind of affectionate disposition.” It would seem so, for as Pat and Patty resumed their walk Bateese and his pet were leaning shoulder to shoulder, the small boy’s arm about Cairlo’s neck. ”

“ Luxation of the Patella, or Stifle.—Under the influence of a severe blow, a sudden leap or strain, the patella, or knee-pan is sometimes displaced. The animal holds his leg stiff and extended, cannot rest on it, and when obliged to walk, draws it along. This displacement of the patella is called being STIFLED. The displacement can be reduced by the aid of sufficient help, and placing a side-line with a hopple on the pastern of the affected limb, and drawing the hind leg forward, the surgeon will then, with both hands, bring the bone to its place. ”

“ Top-full of these thoughts, I re-entered my grotto, shut my door and lighted my lamp; when going to my Patty (as I delighted to fancy her) , I thought I saw her eyes stir a little. I then set the lamp farther off for fear of offending them if she should look up; and warming the last glass I had reserved of my Madeira, I carried it to her, but she never stirred. I now supposed the fall had absolutely killed her, and was prodigiously grieved; when laying my hand on her breast I perceived the fountain of life had some motion. ”