E. B. Lowry

“ If love is the greatest thing in the world, fear and its companion, worry, certainly are the greatest curses of humanity. And the most pitiful part is that this fear and worry usually result from ignorance which a little instruction at the right time could dispel so easily. It is the unknown things that we fear. When any trouble actually comes we find strength enough to meet it, and, anyway, it usually is not half as bad in the reality as in the prospect. ”

“ I wanted you to know all these things, Violet, for sometimes when little girls do not understand what this flow means they are frightened when they see the blood. Some women even dread motherhood because they do not know what to expect at that time nor how to care for themselves. All women naturally love babies and if taught correctly would want to have them. If they do not, it usually is because they have known of other women suffering through ignorance and are afraid. ”

“ CHAPTER V THE BABY'S NEST
You remember, Violet, I told you that although mothers do not have to build nests, yet they have to take good care of them so they will grow strong.
As the natural desire of every girl is to become a mother some time, she must begin very early to prepare for it. By exercise, fresh air, and good, nourishing food, she should make her body grow strong and well. By studying she will develop her mind so as to be fitted to care for and to teach her child. Shall I tell you some ways you can make the nest grow strong? ”

“ Why is it not just as necessary that the girl, who is intrusted with the care of delicate organisms upon whose condition depends the health of the future generation, be instructed regarding the care of these organs? Instead, she is left in absolute ignorance and then blamed if she mars them.
Every woman should have some knowledge of the structure and care of her body, especially of those parts which are concerned so intimately in the welfare of the future generation. Every woman, too, should receive some instruction regarding the care of young children and the proper management of the home. ”

“ Until our marriage laws are so adjusted that there are no unequal marriages, the question of divorce always will be eminent. The ever present agitation about uniform divorce laws and the divorce problem cannot be settled until there are more stringent marriage laws. Trying to settle the divorce question without first settling the marriage question is like trying to keep chickens in a small yard surrounded by enticing fields without first constructing an adequate fence.
Divorce is the concession of society to its inability to solve the marriage problem. Anyone can get married! ”

“ The modern athletic girl glories in her strength. She feels it a disgrace to be a frail flower that cannot enter into the best enjoyment of life. She glories in her strong, well-trained body. She walks with free yet graceful step, holding her head high, for she knows she is queen of her kingdom—her body. Her lungs are well developed and her body well cared for, so she has no fear of disease. But the modern girl does not stop there. She wants to have healthy sexual organs with room for development of the babe, and strong muscles to perform their work in expelling the babe. ”

“ No woman should allow her mind to grow up to such weeds. If the circumstances of her position, her education or her environment seem to make it unwise that she take up any work that would bring a monetary reward, she easily can find some charitable work that needs all the energies she can devote to it. If such a woman would take up some special branch of philanthropic work she would be amply rewarded, not only by the consciousness of the good she had done, but by the improvement in her own health and happiness. ”

“ When you are happy, I can tell it by the smiles on your face, and sometimes when you are a wee bit cross, I know it by a tiny frown that mars the beauty of your face. But, of course, that does not happen very often, because, you know, as we grow older, our faces do not change their expressions as easily as they do when we are young. ”

“ Some people become veritable drug fiends, slaves to certain drugs without in the least realizing their condition. How many are slaves to certain laxatives or headache powders! With them the daily dose of "harmless" teas or waters or even of pills cannot be neglected. And yet such a person would be indignant at the suggestion that she was the victim of a drug habit. What are drugs, anyhow? The majority are simply extracts of herbs and vegetables. And yet people imagine that they are avoiding the use of drugs and medicines when they take "simple herb remedies, prepared at home." ”

“ Think how badly the mother bird must have felt when the child destroyed the nest, and think how badly you would feel, when it came time for you to marry and have a baby, if you found the nest had been so injured that you could not have any. You know, the nest as well as the rest of the body belongs to you alone, and no one has a right to injure it, but sometimes girls are as careless or as thoughtless as the boy with the bee and do things that are harmful. I have told you how to care for this mother nest so it will grow well and strong, but now I must tell you something more. ”

“ If taught correctly, the girl should regard the sexual act as the culmination of true love. It should be regarded as something sacred, something that makes her and her husband as one. Fortunate indeed is the girl whose husband realizes this lack of knowledge and gently leads her to desire the fulfillment of love. Unfortunate is the girl whose husband regards this act only as the gratification of animal passions—something it is a wife's duty to endure as such.
Passion or sex sense is a sign of maturity. It is the calling for a mate. ”

“ If birds are in pain or in trouble, their notes are quite different from when they are singing; while, if they or their little ones are in danger, they quickly send forth a note of warning. The young birds, in calling for food, make an entirely different sound, and the answer of the mother bird is a sweet lullaby. One of the ways birds express themselves in sign language is by their feathers. If they are sick, their feathers droop. When they are well and happy, their feathers seem much brighter. ”

“ If circumstances have given a woman home and children, they always must come first, but this does not mean the woman must do housework if conditions permit the employment of somebody to do it. She must do the work for which she is best fitted both by nature and by training.
In whatever occupation a woman is engaged she should endeavor to make a success of that work, to do it a little better than anyone else could; for in every field of endeavor there is joy and reward for always being and doing one's best. The great secret of success is concentration. ”

“ Another underlying but often unknown factor in many of the divorce cases is sterility. In some states the law says this is a just cause for divorce, because the future of the nation depends on the production of children. Because a woman, in her ignorance, has married a man who is incapable of producing healthy offspring, due to his having "sown his wild oats," should not be a reason why she should be condemned to forego the pleasures of motherhood. Because a man has married a woman who is sterile or who selfishly refuses to bear children should not be a reason why he should be denied an heir. ”

“ There also are thoughtless children who do things to injure their bodies. You would think it very foolish to allow someone to put a bee on your face that would sting you and yet there are some thoughtless children who would do just that if you would let them. They might even try to tell you it would not hurt you, but of course you would know better. You, who know how necessary is every part of the body, would not allow anyone to injure any part of it, especially the part that contains the mother nest. ”

“ There are some things so far removed from the lives of normal, decent people as to be simply unbelievable by them. The 'white slave' trade of to-day is one of these incredible things. The calmest, simplest statements of its facts are almost beyond the comprehension of belief of men and women who are mercifully spared from contact with the dark and hideous secrets of the 'under-world' of the big cities. ”

“ Not long ago an estimable young woman in speaking of the unfortunate girls in the world said, "I cannot see how any refined girl could get into trouble. I cannot conceive of any circumstances which would permit any self-respecting girl to allow the familiarities necessary for such a condition." That is the attitude assumed by many intelligent women. Because they grew up in an environment without temptations, because they had no unsatisfied longings to be loved or to be popular, they are incapable of understanding these feelings in any other person. ”

“ You have seen, Violet, how all the parts of the body work together, although each one has its especial part to do. You remember, we found the stomach must have a time to rest between meals. The other parts of the body require rest, too. This they usually get while we are asleep. We must not be neglectful and fail to give them enough rest, or they will soon get worn out and give us trouble. Most little girls require eight or ten hours' rest every night.
Sometimes, when people are not well or are all tired out, they find they cannot sleep well at night. ”

“ But because a girl has erred through ignorance is no reason why she should be doomed to everlasting punishment in the shape of social ostracism or being denied the happiness of having a home and children.
These are only a few of the many letters I have received, but they serve to show the great need of early instruction of girls on these much neglected subjects. Every girl, soon after she enters school if not before, learns where babies come from. She too often is led by older children, both boys and girls, to do things she may regret later. It has been said that "sin is but ignorance." ”

“ I have made so emphatic the necessity of early and proper instruction of girls and I have shown you that so much of the disease and unhappiness in the world is due to this lack of instruction that I do not believe any of your daughters ever will say, "Why was I not told these things before it was too late?" But you women will have sons as well as daughters and you are just as responsible for their future happiness as you are for that of your daughters. Besides the future happiness of another woman's daughter depends in a large measure upon the health of your son. ”