Jane Prince

“ At any time a maid may come to us direct from a home where she has had a hard mistress, who gave her her outings grudgingly, didn’t like her to have her friends come to see her, and perhaps, while giving her an almost luxurious room, rarely spoke a kind word to her and took it for granted she would be faithless and perhaps even dishonest. ”

“ Every woman who tries to bring about a better understanding between herself and her servants helps every other woman to make home life more comfortable, so it really isn’t a little thing to do. On the contrary, if enough women try, they may bring about great results. Nothing is so absolutely destructive to an understanding between mistress and maid as the habit, so common and so catching, of looking at servants as a class by themselves, unlike other human beings and antagonistic to their mistresses. ”

“ In the first glamour you can imagine how a wife would enjoy the sacrifice of giving freely all her possessions into her husband’s care to control as he thought best, but later she might awaken to such a sense of the responsibility that the possession of money entails that she would feel that she ought to decide for herself how it should be spent. ”

“ It isn’t at all surprising that you feel as though economy were drudgery when you are simply trying to live on just as little as you can with no other object in view. What Dr. Richard Cabot says in his book that you and I read together is so true, “Work is doing what you don’t now enjoy for the sake of a future which you clearly see and desire. Drudgery is doing under strain what you don’t now enjoy and for no end that you can appreciate.” ”

“ I am afraid, Penelope, that you may think these directions that I give you for your maid are very detailed, but my experience with the untrained servant has taught me that you can never tell what unpleasant surprises she may give you in her way of serving your meals, if you haven’t forestalled her by telling her every minutest detail. You can see that I think that with a maid of all work the breakfast and lunch should be very informal meals, and that with breakfast you should wait on yourselves after she has placed the main course on the table. ”

“ Of course, if a maid wanted to go often, that couldn’t be allowed, for it wouldn’t be compatible with good work.
While most of us are interested in helping to give recreation to the less fortunate classes, we have hardly awakened to the fact that there is one class, that of our servants, who are ridiculed if they want it. It is really quite pathetic to think how little appreciation we have of their need of amusement, and how many jokes are made at the expense of those who want occasionally to go to a dance or to the theater. ”

“ Your little message to me showed that there was one annoyance, however, weighing on you in the midst of all this bliss, the undercurrent of worry from signs of discontent in the kitchen. When everything is so bright and pleasant around you, and you are so happy, why can’t the maid feel so too? ”

“ I can understand your feeling perfectly well that economy seems so mean, but all danger of its being mean is removed if you waste nothing on yourselves or your household in order to be able to do something better or wiser or more generous with your money. ”

“ Others always know that they are attempting something beyond their means and they lose, in a measure, the respect of the very people whom they have tried to impress. About the only difference from one’s everyday dinner is that nothing is served on the table and the courses are more in number, and it is well to impress this on the minds of your aunt’s servants. Don’t let the thought of a dinner mean only hard work to them, but let them feel sure of having plenty of ice-cream, cake, candy, etc., afterwards, so that there can be a festive feeling downstairs as well as up. ”

“ What would we think of our husbands if, when the men in their employ gave them trouble, they said to us that they could not manage their employees and would have to get rid of most of them which would necessitate their reducing their business and our living in less comfort in consequence? Wouldn’t we in our hearts think they were failures in their vocations? And yet we women are just as much failures in our vocation when we give up the privacy and comforts of home to go into an apartment because we cannot manage our servants. ”

“ Remember that every sound can be heard in the dining-room, so be very careful not to make the slightest noise in handling the silver and china and to move the dumb waiter up and down very quietly and slowly. Be ready, when the waitress hands you the plates that have been used, to hand her back instantly the fresh plates for the next course till all are handed out, and to ring one bell to signal the cook the first time the waitress makes a sign to you to do it, and two bells the second time she gives you this sign. ”

“ The more I think about the apparent discontent of your present maid, the more do I believe that it is because you do not realize that a maid of all work cannot do all that you expect her to do and also give the finishing touches that give charm to the home. ”

“ So my advice to you is to put all your silver away that you do not need until you have enough servants to keep it bright without overworking them. Your dining-room will look much prettier with a few bright pieces than overladen with silver that is dull and gives the impression of careless housekeeping.
You must remember that each of the servants you have been accustomed to had her own especial part of the housework to do and plenty of time to do it in. It isn’t so with the maid of all work. ”

“ See that the tray of after-dinner coffee-cups is arranged in the pantry with a spoon on each saucer, and with the sugar tongs on the bowl of sugar. Then go and rest and come down later when the waitress reports to you that she has finished setting the dining-table. You will probably find that it doesn’t look to your satisfaction, but don’t put the servants out of temper with criticisms. Take it for granted that they have done their best, speak well of what is right, and straighten out what is wrong with explanations, giving the finishing touches yourself. ”

“ In the case where there is only one maid, who does the cooking and all the work of the house, the household is, of necessity, run more informally, and a chafing-dish meal can take the place of one of the Sunday meals in order to let her off. But if the mistress feels that she must have her meals go on just as regularly on Sunday as any other day, she should hire some one to come in for the time the servant is out. You can readily see that she should not expect one servant to keep up the house unaided in just the way that two or three servants do it. ”

“ When she has put the last of your breakfast on the table, you can wait on yourselves, leaving her to get her own breakfast. (Just here I must speak to you of the loneliness of the maid of all work having all her meals by herself, because, when you think of this, and know that many of them never even sit down to their table, I know you will try to encourage yours to take proper and regular meals and will see that the kitchen is made a homelike place for her.) ”

“ Penelope Pennington!
What is this that you tell me! You are to have charge of a formal dinner for your Aunt Sally! How perfectly dear it is of her to give one to Mr. and Mrs. Winslow in appreciation of Tom’s promotion. I have been to many of your aunt’s dinners in the past and know how smoothly she will want everything to go, so I am not surprised at your excitement at the thought of making all the arrangements for her, and I am very glad that she feels strong enough to be present herself. ”

“ It is so easy and natural for us to scold a servant when she has neglected her duty or done something stupid, instead of patiently following her up every time she neglects anything and with a pleasant but decided manner seeing that she does it. ”

“ Unselfishness—there’s plenty of opportunity for a mistress to show if she is sincere in her desire to be fair. Just one instance: It isn’t very pleasant, to say the least, if, after one has trained a servant to be skillful and she has stayed for several years so that one has grown dependent on her, she leaves for higher wages. Yet in every other calling people are praised for what is called their ambition to rise, and if we can’t pay high wages, how can we expect to keep the most skillful servants? ”

“ Finding fancy groceries expensive, I did not buy them, but tried to put the money we had allowed ourselves for the table into nutritious food. Before going to market I used to make a rough outline ahead of the meals and take with me a list of what was needed for them. One is much more apt to have variety by thinking ahead, and taking a list to market is an economy, for, while one may change it after getting there, and substitute one article of food for another, still there is less likelihood of getting unnecessary things. ”

“ Fifteen minutes before the hour for dinner, the waitress, after having lighted the lights on the parlor floor and in the front hall stands at the front door watching to open it promptly to prevent any guest from having to ring the bell. She helps the gentlemen off with their coats, hangs up their hats, places their canes in the rack, and hands them the tray on which the card envelopes have been placed. When all the guests have arrived, the chambermaid signals the cook this fact, then fills the glasses with iced water, while the waitress lights the candles on the dining-table. ”

“ If the maid gets up at six-thirty, dresses, throws her mattress over the foot of her bed, and opens her windows to air her room, she can be ready to start the kitchen fire, if there is a coal range, and put on the cereal (which has been cooked the night before and is much better for long cooking) by seven o’clock. She can then go into the parlor, draw up the shades there and in the dining-room, rebuild the fire if it has been used, and go over the floor with a dustless mop. After that she can set the dining-table and cook the breakfast. ”

“ When I tell you that you will need nearly every known virtue to keep house well, you will expect to come out of the experience a piece of absolute perfection! Certainly Patience is one of the foremost needed. ”

“ No matter how nicely any one keeps house, there is a great deal for the servants to think of for a dinner, and as they have never served one for you before, should you get the impression in the morning that things are not going on very well, you will have to be in the dining-room a good deal, quietly seeing that no time is lost.
1. If you don’t like so many forks and knives on the table at once, put enough for the first three courses and have the others brought on with the plates of each course as in the case of dessert. ”

“ Above all things, don’t let what you have gone through make you distrustful, for it is the part of wisdom as well as of kindness to let the new maid feel that you expect well of her. If she has good stuff in her, that is the way to bring it out. We ourselves show our best side to those who believe in us.
You seem to have a vague feeling that Mary’s leaving you had something to do with the outings she wanted. That may have been so, for very few of us can enter into servants’ lives enough to realize the vital importance of their outings to them. ”

“ If the maid hasn’t too much to attend to, she will be able to do what she does do, well, and if you have your meals served nicely every day, then, when you have guests, she will not be confused by some new order of things, but will be perfectly natural and serve them well as a matter of course. Your own meals, too, will go more quickly and easily and be more appetizing if always served carefully and regularly.
Let us take a perfectly simple family dinner: First course, soup; second course, roast and (two) or (three) vegetables; third course, salad or dessert; fourth course, coffee ”

“ When the gentlemen, after smoking, join the ladies in the parlor, the waitress passes, on a tray, glasses which she fills with ice-cold Apollinaris or White Rock, and offers to each guest. When the guests are about to leave, the waitress, on the first signal of the parlor bell, goes to the front door to help the gentlemen on with their coats, hand them their canes and hats, and open the front door, while the chambermaid is in the dressing-room ready to help the ladies on with their wraps. ”

“ Bargains are a snare and a delusion, and, depend upon it, one spends less money by getting something at its regular price when one actually needs it than in getting something very cheap to lay by for a possible need which may never come. ”

“ How much Wisdom and Thoughtfulness, too, we need to keep all the different dispositions in the house in harmony, to know just the right moment to correct and the time when extra work or a rainy wash-day or a headache make it wisest to delay correction. ”

“ Just try it and you will see for yourself, and I am sure too, that you will be glad to practice every virtue that good house management requires if, in that way, you can bring about peace instead of that uncomfortable atmosphere which constant dissatisfaction among the servants causes. If a home is unhappy downstairs you can always feel it upstairs, and, in fact, sometimes at the front door. ”

“ Of course I have no way of divining what the cause of dissatisfaction was, but we always have to bear in mind that there is so much of the antagonistic spirit between mistress and maid that those of us who do not have it, but who want to be kind, have to suffer for those who are unjust. ”

“ Bills are a torment with a small income, so, while I found the bills for staple groceries, ice, and milk almost a necessity, I paid cash for all other articles of food; that is, meat, vegetables, fish, eggs, butter, etc. I went to market two or three times a week buying and paying for everything on the spot and seeing everything weighed and measured that was sold in that way. At the end of this practice month I made a list of what we had used in groceries, ice, and milk, and also added together all the cash spent on the other articles of food. ”

“ Ferns are very pretty for the center of the dinner table, but you will find it quite expensive to keep them always fresh, whereas if you plant some grapefruit seeds in a pot, you will have a charming little growing plant like a miniature orange tree with pretty glossy leaves which will last and give a very attractive air to your table.
I also think you will find candles for the dining-table cost too much for every day, but can be an additional touch when you have guests. I wouldn’t advise you to try to follow every fashion on a small income. ”

“ Then, about their Sundays, I think that church can’t do us much good if we don’t give the servants an opportunity to go, too, if they want to, or if we make it a hard day for them. Though it requires special arrangement, their Sundays should be made a day to look forward to with pleasure when each one can be sure of getting out, at some part of the day, to church, or to see her friends. The Sunday morning that the cook goes out, the lunch should be one that can be quickly cooked or her outing would be too short. ”