A. M. Williamson

“ If I could say something now which, when the blow fell—if it did fall—might come back to Raoul’s mind and convince him instantly that it was Godensky, not I, who had stolen the treaty and broken him! If I could make him believe the whole thing a monstrous plot of Godensky’s to revenge himself on a woman who’d refused him, by cleverly implicating her in her lover’s ruin, by throwing guilt upon her while she was, in reality, innocent! If I could suggest that to Raoul now, while his ears were open, I might hold his love against the world, no matter what happened afterward. ”

“ Then she was gone, and I nestled deeper into the sofa cushions, with the feeling that my head was so heavy, it must weigh down the pillows like a stone.
“She was afraid of missing Number 13 with Ivor,” I said to myself. “Well—she’s welcome to it now. I don’t think she’ll enjoy it much—or let him. Oh, I hope they’ll quarrel. I don’t think I’d mind anything, if only I was sure they’d never be nearer to each other. I wish Di would marry Lord Robert. Perhaps then Ivor would turn to me. Oh, my God, how I hate her—and all beautiful girls, who spoil the lives of women like me.” ”

“ You are a great actress, but you could not control the dew which sprang out on your forehead, or the beating of your heart when I touched the sofa, so I knew: I had been watching you for that. There has been an error, and I can only apologise.”
“I don’t blame you, but those who sent you,” said Maxine, letting me lead her to a chair, into which she sank, limply. “I am thankful you do not tell me these diamonds are contraband in some way. I was not sure but it would end in that.”
“Not at all, Mademoiselle. I wish you joy of them. It is you who will adorn the jewels, not they you. ”

“ But after we had met in the hall of the hotel, and Ivor had seemed confused, and wouldn’t give up his mysterious engagement, or say what it was, though Lisa chaffed him and he must have known what I thought, I suddenly forgot the slight he had put upon me. Instead of being angry with him, I was afraid for him, I couldn’t have explained why, unless it was the look on his face when he turned away from me.
No man would look like that who was going of his own free will to a woman with whom he was in love, that same queer something whispered in my ear. ”

“ When I had unlocked the door of my boudoir and found Ivor Dundas gone, as I had hoped he would be, the next hope born in my heart was that he might by and by come back, or send—with news. Hour after hour of deadly suspense passed on, and he did not come or make any sign. At five o’clock Marianne, who had flitted about all night like a restless ghost, made me drink a cup of hot chocolate, and actually put me to bed. My last words to her were: “What is the use? I can’t sleep. It will be worse to lie and toss in a fever, than sit up.” ”

“ The Commissary of Police looked fixedly at Maxine for a moment, as if he would read her soul.
“No, Mademoiselle,” he said, “I am convinced that neither you nor Monsieur are concealing anything about your persons. I will not trouble you further until we have searched the room.”
Maxine could not blanch, for already she was as white as she will be when she lies in her coffin. But though her expression did not change, I saw that the pupils of her eyes dilated. Actress that she is, she could control her muscles; but she could not control the beating of the blood in her brain. ”

“ I wondered if that girl had been broken-hearted because he wouldn’t let her tie round his arm the white scarf that might have saved him.
It is strange how one’s mood can change in a moment—but perhaps it is like that only with women. A minute before I’d been trying to despise Ivor, and to argue, just as if I’d been a match-making mamma, to myself that it would be a very good thing if I could make up my mind to marry Lord Bob; that it would be rather nice being a Duchess some day; and that besides, perhaps Ivor would be sorry when he heard that I was engaged to somebody else. ”

“ I reminded myself how little I deserved such a paradise, and how my lover’s dear arms would put me away, in a kind of unbelieving horror, if he knew what I had done, and how I had betrayed his trust in me.
For ten years I’d been a political spy—yes. But I owed a grudge to Russia, which I’d promised my father to pay: and France is Russia’s ally. Besides, it seems less vile to betray a country than to deceive a man you adore, who adores you in return. We women are true as truth itself to those we love. For them we would sacrifice the greatest cause. ”

“ I could play a part to the finish, and crawl off the stage to die the next instant; yet no one would have guessed that I was dying. I have no understudy. What use to have one? What audience would stop in the theatre after an announcement that their Maxine’s understudy would take her place? Every man and woman would walk out and get his money back. No; for the sake of the man I love better than my life, or twenty lives—the man I’ve either saved or ruined—I’ll play tonight, if I go mad or kill myself to-morrow. Don’t ‘think quietly,’ Ivor. ”

“ Yet now I had betrayed my lover and sold his country; and, realising what I had done, as I hardly had realised it till this moment, I suffered torture in his arms.
Even if, by something like a miracle, we were saved from ruin, nothing on earth could wash the stain from my heart, which Raoul believed so good, so pure.
What can be more terrible for a woman than the secret knowledge that to hold a man’s respect she must always keep one dark spot covered from his eyes? Such a woman needs no future punishment. She has all she deserves in this world. ”

“ The question flashed across my brain. “What if a voice in the auditorium should suddenly shout that Maxine de Renzie had betrayed France for money, English money?” How these hands which applauded would tingle to seize me by the throat and choke my life out.
Still, with these thoughts murmuring in my head like a kind of dreadful undertone, I went on. An actress can always go on—till she breaks. I think that she can’t be bent, as other women can: and I envy the women who haven’t had to learn the lesson of hardening themselves. It seems to me that they must suffer less. ”

“ I felt now that I could understand how people must feel when they are very old and weary of life. I don’t believe that I shall feel older and more tired if I live to be eighty than I felt then. It was a slight comfort to know that we were on our way back to the hotel, and that soon I should be in my room alone, with the door shut and locked between Lisa and me; but it was only very slight. I couldn’t imagine ever being really pleased about anything again.
“You will marry Lord Robert now, I suppose,” chirped Lisa, “and show Ivor Dundas that he hasn’t spoiled your life.” ”

“ Now, I am engaged to marry a man whom I worship. I would gladly die for him. Ivor Dundas knows that, and is glad. But the other man is jealous. He wouldn’t understand—he would want to kill me and himself and Ivor Dundas, if he knew that Ivor was in my house last night. He was there too, and I lied to him about Ivor. How could I expect him to believe the real truth now? He is a man. But you will believe, because you are a woman, like myself, and I think the woman Ivor Dundas loves. ”

“ At first, earlier in the evening, I had meant to put the diamonds in his hands and say, “See what I have for you!” But now I had changed my mind, because he must be induced to go away as quickly as possible—quite, quite away from the theatre, so that there would be no danger of his seeing Count Godensky at the stage door. I was not sorry that Raoul was jealous, because, as he said, his jealousy was a compliment to me; and it is possible only for a cold man never to be jealous of a woman in my profession, who lives in the eyes of the world. ”

“ Scarcely had the electric carriage come to a halt when the chauffeur, in neat, dark livery, jumped down to open the door; and quickly a tall, slim woman sprang out, followed by another, elderly and stout, who looked like a lady’s maid.
I could not see the face of either, but the light of the lamp on our side of the way shone on the hair of the slim young woman in black, who got down first. It was gorgeous hair, the colour of burnished copper. I had heard a man say once that only two women in the world had hair of that exact shade: Jane Hading and Maxine de Renzie. ”

“ Who can he be, if not Ivor? A detective, perhaps.”
“Why should a detective watch Mademoiselle de Renzie’s house?” I asked, in spite of myself.
Lisa seemed a little confused, as if she had said something she regretted.
“I don’t know, I’m sure,” she answered hastily. “Why, indeed? It was just a thought. The man seems so anxious not to be seen. Oh—keep back, Di, don’t look out for an instant, till he’s passed. Ivor is coming now. He’s walking in a great hurry. There! he can’t see you. He’s far enough away for you to peep, and see for yourself. He’s at Maxine de Renzie’s gate.” ”

“ He was too handsome, too young, too attractive in every way. If Raoul had been jealous of Count Godensky, whom he knew I had refused, what would he feel towards Ivor Dundas, a stranger whose name I had never mentioned, though he was received at my house after midnight? I was thankful I hadn’t taken Ivor’s advice and introduced the two men at first, for in his then mood Raoul would have listened to no explanations. He and I would never have arrived at the understanding we had reached now. And not having been frank at first, I must be secret to the end. ”

“ I hardly thought you’d receive me into your carriage at the theatre, so I took the precaution of warning du Laurier that he needn’t expect to see that. You would suggest a place for me to meet you, I said. When I knew it, I would inform him if he chose to wait about somewhere for a few minutes.”
“Raoul du Laurier would scorn to spy upon me!” I broke out.
“How hard you are on spies. And how little knowledge of human nature you have, after all, if you don’t understand that a man suddenly out of his head with jealousy will do things of which he’d be incapable when he was sane.” ”

“ You can do nothing; and I don’t grudge the sacrifice—or anything,” I hurried on.
“Yet I will think of it, if I ever have time to think of anything beyond this tangle. But now, it must be au revoir. Save me, save Raoul, if you can, Ivor. What you can do, I don’t know. I’m groping in darkness. Yet you’re my one hope. For pity’s sake, come to my house when the play’s over, to tell me what you’ve done, if you’ve been able to do anything. Be there at twelve.”
“I promise.”
“Thank you. I shall live for that moment. Now, give me the diamonds, and I’ll go. ”

“ Women have spoiled him a lot. But—but he does love me, Lisa.”
“And he did love Maxine!” I laughed.
“He didn’t. He never loved her. I—you see, you put such horrid thoughts into my head that—that I just mentioned her name when he said to-night—oh, when he said the usual things, about never having cared seriously for anyone until he saw me. Only—it seems treacherous to call them ‘usual’ because—when you love a man you feel that the things he says can never have been said before, in the same way, by any other man to any other woman.” ”

“ Of course, Lord Robert ought to have been at the Duchess’s bazaar this afternoon, but then he won’t show up at such things, even to please his sister, and Di and Lisa were to have represented me there. To-day and to-morrow are the only days all three of us could possibly steal to get away and look at a most wonderful motor car; made for a Rajah who died before it was ready. Lord Robert certainly knows more about automobiles than any other human being does, and he thought this was just what I would want. ”

“ The favourite actress of Paris will be asphyxiated by the poisonous fumes; and you, though I hope no worse harm may come to you, will mourn for the misfortunes of others. Your responsibility will be such that it will be almost as if you carried the destructive bomb itself, until you get the packet into the hands of Maxine de Renzie.” “Good heavens, I shall be glad when she has it!” said Ivor. ”

“ I said. “You are so unscrupulous you would stoop to anything, I know that. Raoul du Laurier has done nothing; I—I have done nothing of which to be ashamed. Yet you can lie about us, ruin him perhaps by a plot, as if he were guilty, and—and do terrible harm to me.”
“I can—without the trouble of lying. And I will, unless you’ll give up du Laurier and make up your mind to marry me. I always meant to have you. You are the one woman worthy of me.”
“You are the man most unworthy of any woman. But, give me till to-morrow evening—at this time—to decide. ”

“ He meant to send a challenge to Count Godensky. I must prevent him from doing that.
“No, Raoul,” I said, as if he had finished his sentence, “you musn’t fight. For my sake, you mustn’t. Don’t you see, it’s just what he’d like best? It would be a way of doing me the most dreadful injury. Think of the scandal. Oh, you will think of it, when you’re cooler. For you, I would not fear much, for I know what a swordsman you are, and what a shot—far superior to Godensky, and with right on your side. But I would fear for myself. ”

“ Since he can’t exist on a marble pedestal or some Old Master’s canvas, he ought at least to be a poet or an artist—and so he is at heart; not one, but both; and a dreamer of beautiful dreams, as beautiful and noble as his own clear-cut face, which might be cold if it were not for the eyes, and lips.
There were people about, and we spoke like mere acquaintances until I’d led Raoul into the little boudoir which adjoins my dressing-room. ”