Albert Bigelow Paine

“ Rabbit was ready for him, and then he trotted along comfortably, thinking how he would eat the Rabbit's fine dinner first, and then there would be time enough for Mr. Rabbit himself afterward.
So, when he got to Jack Rabbit's house he straightened his vest and his necktie a little, and then he knocked and turned around and whistled while he was waiting for Mr. Rabbit to come to the door. But Jack Rabbit didn't come to the door. He opened an upstairs window and said:—
"Why, it's Mr. Dog! Sit right down on the porch, Mr. Dog, till I get my house ready and the dinner cooked." ”

“ Man, who was working in the next field, heard him and came running. When Curly heard Mr. Man coming he thought, 'Now he'll take me home and make me a great pig, just as he did the little runt pig.' But Mr. Man didn't. 'Here, you rascal!' he said, what are you doing under my gate? I'll fix you.' Then he picked up a long, scratchy stick and commenced to beat Mr. Curly, first on one side and then on the other, till he squealed and howled so loud that you could hear him almost a mile. ”

“ When he was gone the 'Coon and 'Possum and the Old Black Crow did another dance, and kept saying over and over how rich they'd be and what they would do with all the money. Then they heard somebody laughing outside, and when they looked out there was Mr. Turtle laughing and reading the sign.
"Hello!" he said. "This isn't the first of April."
"No," said Mr. Crow, "it's a boarding house, and a good one. All the best people in the country stop here. Mr. Rabbit, Mr. Robin and Mr. Squirrel. Sorry, Mr. Turtle, but our rooms are all full." ”

“ Polecat uses except himself. I suppose he must like it or he wouldn't be so free with it. But other people go away when he uses it—mostly in the direction the wind's blowing from—and in a hurry, as if they were afraid they'd miss a train. Even Mr. Dog doesn't stop to argue with Mr. Polecat. Nobody does, and all the other deep woods people do their best to make him happy and [Pg 110] to keep him in a good humor whenever he comes about, and give him their nicest things to eat and a lot to carry home with him, so he'll start just as soon as possible. ”

“ He thought it was a joke at first, like the Rabbit, but when he heard that Jack Rabbit was coming to board he spoke up just as quick as anything and said he'd come, too, and that he'd have his things there before supper time. He took the room over Mr. Crow, because he said he didn't mind the smell of the cooking, and then maybe he'd learn some new receipts. You see, Mr. Crow and Mr. Robin are sort of kinsfolk, and when they have time they often get together and trace back to find out just what relation they are to each other, and that makes them good friends. ”

“ Then he began.
"Well," he said, "my folks used to live in the moon."
"Humph!" said the 'Coon.
"Nonsense!" said the 'Possum.
"Yes," said Jack Rabbit, "they did. The moon is a world, away over on the other side of the Big Nowhere, and it doesn't stand still and stay top side up like this world, but keeps moving about and turning over, so that you have to look sharp and hang on tight to keep from falling off when it tips bottom side up, or is standing on its edge as it is to-night. My folks used to live there and Mr. Dog's folks used to live there, too. ”

“ I suppose the very best pay that ever comes to anyone who writes a book is to know that the ones he wrote it for really like it. When they like it well enough to write and tell him so, though they have never seen him, and perhaps never will, then he feels very proud indeed, and happy. ”

“ The 'Possum and 'Coon grinned to themselves and nodded.
"Well," continued Mr. Rabbit, "there are some laws of etiquette—which means politeness—up there in the Moon, and they are very strict. The Old Man in the Moon makes these laws, and when one of them is broken he makes the one that breaks it just go right on doing whatever it is for nine hundred and ninety-nine years, and sometimes a good deal longer when it's a worse break than usual.
"Now the very strictest of all these laws used to be the one about Mr. Dog trying to keep up with our folks. ”

“ THE LITTLE LADY AND THE STORY TELLER THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THEM
In the House of Many Windows which stands in a large city and is sometimes called a "flat" by people who, because they are grown up, do not know any better, live the Little Lady and the Story Teller.
The Little Lady is four years old, going on five, and is fond of stories. This makes her and the Story Teller good friends. They mostly sit in the firelight after supper, and while the Little Lady is being undressed they tell each other all that has happened since morning. ”

“ Pretty soon Mr. 'Possum puffed and blowed because he was so fat, and said he thought they ought to sit right down and begin to eat, and let Mr. Jack Rabbit read his poem to them through the first course. The Rabbit was willing to do that, for he would rather read his own poetry than eat any time, and, besides, the first course was something he didn't like very well. So then they all sat down around the table cloth which they had spread on the grass, and Mr. Rabbit got up and put his right hand in the breast of his coat. ”

“ Man's dinner gong, only a hundred times as big, and about a thousand times as loud. Then Father Storm went out into the woodhouse to make a club to beat it with, laughing to himself now and then when he thought how Mother Storm Turtle would most have a fit when she heard it for the first time. ”

“ Rabbit wake up right away. [Pg 232]
"What's that?" he said. "What kind of a thing is a poetry club?"
POOR MR. DOG.
"Why," said Mr. Crow, "it's a place where the members each write a poem and read it at the next meeting. You're the only real, sure enough poet, of course, and will be president, and write the best poem, but the rest of us can try, and you can tell us our mistakes. I've heard that Mr. Man has them, and they're ever so much fun."
Jack Rabbit thought so, too, and all the others liked the plan. So they elected Mr. Rabbit president and then went to work on their poems. ”

“ Dog! Dance, Mr. Dog; dance!" [Pg 109]
MR. RABBIT'S UNWELCOME COMPANY MR. POLECAT MAKES A MORNING CALL AND MR. DOG DROPS IN
"I think I shall have to tell you about Mr. Polecat," said the Story Teller, "and about his visit to Mr. Rabbit."
"Who's Mr. Polecat?" said the Little Lady. "You never told me about him before."
"Well, no, because you see Mr. Polecat is so queer in some of his ways that people even don't talk about him a great deal. He is really quite a nice gentleman, though, when he doesn't get excited. But when he does he loses friends. ”

“ But Mr. 'Possum was only talking in his sleep, and saying, "I'll take another piece, please," and Mr. Dog knew he was dreaming about the mince pie he'd had for supper.
So, then he opened his bag and filled the stockings. He put in mixed candy and nuts and little things first, and then the pipes and tobacco and candy canes, so they'd show at the top, and hung a nice dressed [Pg 267] chicken outside. I tell you, they looked fine! It almost made Mr. Dog wish he had a stocking of his own there to fill, and he forgot all about them waking up, and sat down in a chair to look at the stockings. ”

“ Well, while he was getting well he had a good deal of company, and one day a top-knot crow named Dusk came to see him. Now, you know that our friend Mr. Crow is a wise bird to-day, but in the old times a top-knot crow was wiser than anything that now flies or walks, and Dusk was a very old bird. He knew a great deal about Mr. Man and his ways, and he told Smoothe that he had seen in Mr. Man's [Pg 75] pantry, where he went sometimes, a light that would not go out during a whole night, and that had a big bright something behind it that would throw the light in any direction. ”

“ The 'Possum said there might be one black bird sing when these pies were opened, but he didn't b'lieve there'd be any more, which made the 'Coon laugh so he nearly fell off his chair. Just then they heard the Crow coming, and the 'Possum whispered quick to the Turtle and the Rabbit that they [Pg 153] must be sure and eat their pie all up and ask for more, as Mr. Crow was proud of his cooking and always felt offended when people didn't eat heartily. ”

“ Man, for one thing, and then he bought some new neckties for the Hollow Tree folks all around, and a big, striped candy cane for each one, because candy canes always looked well sticking out of a stocking. Besides all that, he had a new pipe for each, and a package of tobacco. You see, Mr. Dog lived with Mr. Man, and didn't ever have to buy much for himself, so he had always saved his money. ”

“ The Story Teller tried to explain that the stars and moon were not so close together as they looked, and that some were a good deal further away than others, and a lot more things, all of which the Little Lady doubted, because she said she could see for herself that the sky was just a round blue ceiling, and that the moon and stars were right against it, and if any of them were further away than the others they would be over beyond the ceiling and wouldn't show. ”

“ Man and his wife brought him nice things to eat, and soon the little pig grew so fat that they had to put him in a larger pen. Then they fed him still more, and, being all alone, he ate just as much as he wanted. So he grew and grew, fatter and fatter, and every few weeks they had to put him in a larger pen, until people came from all over the country to see what a beautiful large pig he was. ”

“ Crow said that he believed if he'd had half a chance when he was young he'd have made an artist. He said he used to draw off likenesses on his slate so that anybody could almost tell who they were and that the 'Coon and the 'Possum each had in their rooms in the Big Hollow Tree pictures of themselves that he had drawn which were just as good to-day as the day they were made. ”

“ Polecat, run! and go the back way!' But Mr. Polecat never runs from anybody—he doesn't have to—he just opens up that perfume of his and the other people do the running. So Mr. Rabbit gave one more jump, and this time he jumped straight up the chimney, and didn't stop till he got to the roof, where he found a loose board and put it over the chimney quick and sat down on it. Then he called to Mr. Dog, who was coming lickety-split through the woods:—
"'Why, how are you, Mr. Dog? Glad to see you! Walk right in. There's company down stairs ”

“ Dog's folks came tumbling right down through the Big Nowhere to the earth, because they were all running and not holding on—all except Leap, who stayed right up in the air, according to law, and he has been there ever since. ”

“ Robin that if they'd just let him come he'd promise anything they asked.
MR. RABBIT BOWED.
They didn't want to let him, though, until Mr. Crow, who always felt kind of sorry for Mr. Dog, said he didn't see why Mr. Dog shouldn't come and look in through the window shutters, and that they could nail a seat for him on a limb just outside. They could pull him up to it with a rope and he [Pg 234] could sit there and listen and applaud the poems all through without being able to do any damage to the poets, and he would be glad enough to be let down by the time they got done reciting. ”

“ It was a beautiful light, and Smoothe fastened it to the tip top of the tall tree, so that it would swing in any direction, and the bright round thing behind it threw the light just where he wanted it. It burned oil, and he used to fill it up with chicken oil in the evening and it would [Pg 76] burn all night and make a better light than the fire ever did. So all he had to do was to keep it filled and turned in the direction that my folks were harvesting their chicken crop, and then he could go to bed and sleep all night if he wanted to. ”

“ Squirrel picked up some roasted nuts that the Crow had just brought in.
"Where'd you get these nuts?" he says, after he'd cracked one or two of them.
"Down on the slope of Green Bushes," says Mr. 'Coon. "Why, aren't they good ones?"
"I suppose they were once," says Mr. Squirrel—"two or three years ago. Nuts have to be fresh to be good."
"That's what I told him," says Mr. 'Possum; "but he said you wouldn't know the difference."
"Oh, he did, did he?" says Mr. Squirrel. "Well, I've got better nuts than these at home," and Mr. Squirrel he got up and left the table.
Then Jack Rabbit began. ”