Anonymous

“ He who meets an Opponent half way, recedes from his own Principles, and embraces in part at least, those of his Antagonist. Now if your Principles were sound, and those of the old Standards unsound, as we must believe from your constant Opposition for the Time past; how can you depart from yours, without embracing unsound Principles? No, Sir, I protest against half-way Meetings between a Majority in Power, and a few, who, I’m afraid, grasp too eagerly at a Shred, or rather Shadow of that Power. ”

“ But what Opposition can you expect to grow in a Court? You late Comers there are but the Tail of the Administration. Can you direct the Head and Body? Must it not move as they direct, or be lopt off? What will Opposition in Council avail, where the Majority will be so great against you? And as for Opposition in P——t, there will be none, there can be none. The late Deserters, who are now flung out, should they grumble and oppose, no Creature living will adhere to them that has a Drachm of either Sense or Virtue. ”

“ Gad, my dear Broady, you ought to be doubly cursed, nay doubly d—n’d, should you not earnestly and truly serve those that had gratuitously vested you with ample Power over their Persons, Lands, Goods, Chattels, Wives and Bairns.
Rose. And Hounds and Hunters; ha, ha!
43Blunt. And Tythes and Dues, my laughing Vicar—Is the Liberty of a free People a fit Subject for Laughter? Is not our All at Stake at this critical Juncture? Should those who have been always our reputed Friends, join with those who were always deem’d our Enemies, what shall become of us? What shall we do? ”

“ Broadbottom, I heartily agree with you in the Banishment of Heat and Sarcasm from our Conversation; but can’t help dissenting from you in the other Point. Without giving up my Reason, I can’t reckon upon Concord between two Sets of Men, as seemingly different in their Views and Principles as can well be imagin’d. By all that appears hitherto, you lately Ingrafted, have acted on Principles 21the most honourable, and with Views the most disinterested that ever Men did; whereas the old Standards seem to have no Views but to Self-Interest, nor Principles, but such as are repugnant to Patriotism. ”

“ Blunt. You mean the sharing out Tickets and Chances?
Sir John. I do. Never was any Invention more destructive of Industry. The poor Industrious, whom it is the Policy of all Nations to cherish and encourage, are by this sharing Traffick, exposed to inevitable Destruction. Who but the Poor will buy an Eighth or Sixteenth of the Chance of a Ticket? The Rich will deal in whole Tickets; but ’tis the poor Industrious only that ruin themselves to be in Luck’s Way, as they term it. ’tis this poor but useful Class of the People only, that game at 30 per Cent. more Disadvantage than the richer Drones. ”

“ But let me warn these Politicians, that it is not always safe to leave an injur’d, oppress’d, exasperated People without Leaders on whose Probity they may depend. On the other hand, let me warn our Patriots, that as a Snare may have been laid for them, it is their Business to take care they are not taken in it. ”

“ Sir John. I hope not, tho’ I cannot so readily digest your Seasons for redressing the People’s Grievances.
Blunt. Times and Seasons were Cant Words with the late Deserters, as soon as the People expected they would act according to their Professions.
Over. Ha, ha! Courtiers act up to their Professions! Ha, ha! What a Solecism wou’d that be? Why Man, you forget that Double and John, and Long Bib, and Dismal, and the Rest of that precious deserting Gang were become Courtiers, when they found out that it was unseasonable to weaken the Ministerial Power, and strengthen that of the People. ”

“ The Conduct of the War will not suffer them to hope that equitable Terms will be allow’d them; on the other hand, they must be sensible, that the People have a greater Regard to the Honour of the Nation than to private Interest, and will be against sheathing the Sword, till the Blood of our foreign Enemies has wash’d off the Stain fix’d on the Glory of the Nation by her domestic Foes. ”

“ The taking Gentlemen into the Administration, who have distinguished themselves by their Zeal for the Interests of their Country, is not, I fear, designed to ease the People, but to bring those Gentlemen to bear a Share of the public Hatred and Infamy, which the late M—rs have incurr’d by the most flagitious Measures. This must cause an irreparable Breach between the Public and those now rever’d and beloved Patriots ”

“ Sir John. I should not wonder if a general Union against all secret and open Enemies would be the Consequence of any signal Misconduct or Defection in those lately ingrafted. For after such repeated Experience as the People have had of the Power of C—— Infection, it may be expected they would go greater Lengths than might be agreeable to the Authors of their Despair. ’tis dangerous to push a sensible People too far. ”

“ If you wou’d serve your Constituents in your present Situation, you must act with Caution.——
Blunt. With Honesty, you should say rather. What Caution is necessary in answering the Hopes of the People? They desire but what is absolutely for their Safety. They expect no more than has been often solemnly promised them. And sure a Man that intends to be as good as his Word need not pick out every Step of his Way. ”

“ Sir John. Ay, Mr. Blunt, provided my worthy Neighbour, Broadbottom, turns not a mere Courtier, by going to Court, he shall have all our Consents to stay at Court and rise there.
Blunt. A Man may rise in the Army and Navy, and meritoriously; but what dirty Work must a Man trudge thro’ to rise at Court?
Over. Why should a Man be obliged to do more servile Work at Court than in the Church, where we see the Learned and Pious rise, and are translated every Day?——I expect my good Friend here, Mr. Roseband, to rise to a Deanery soon, now his Patron has taken a Stride to Court. ”

“ Sir John. Since we are, and you think us your Friends, ’tis fit we should deal with you like Friends. To be plain with you, Mr. Broadbottom, we here in the Country, who wish well to our King and the Nation, think ourselves justify’d in conceiving a Jealousy of the Nature, Time and Manner of the late or rather the present Change in the Ministry. I will explain myself.—— ’tis not so properly a Change of, as an Ingraftment upon the Ministry. ”

“ Since you will have it an Ingraftment rather than a Coalition, it shall be so; but why should it be an unnatural Ingraftment?
Over. Why indeed? Don’t we see Non-pareilles and Golden Pippins daily grafted on Crabs, and yet thrive? Ha, ha!
Sir John. Yes, Mr. Overall; because they are all nourished by their common Parent, the Earth; and the Crab-Tree is a Channel only for the Nurture to pass thro’. In this Case, the Earth, from whence both Species receive Nourishment, remains pure and uninfected; the Crab has no more Influence than the Pippin. ”

“ In this Dilemma they may think it the best, indeed the only Expedient to cast the Burden on the Favourites of the People. If they accept of Peace on dishonourable Terms, the late M—rs are acquitted; if they reject it, any Misfortunes that may attend the War will be intirely cast upon them. In a Word, the Ministers have entangled the Skein, and call upon the Patriots to disentangle it, or share the Odium of their Folly and Wickedness. ”

“ Then again, the charitable Man can’t see the least Speck of Gall in the Doves that have thrust Jack from the Barn Door.
Blunt. Ah! Mr. Overall, that Barn has made many an honest Man otherwise.
Sir John. I don’t think it so, Mr. Mayor; a Man truly Honest is no more to be corrupted than a Woman truly Chast. But as it is she only who is a Whore in her Heart that can be defiled, so is it he only who is a Rogue in his Heart, that can be warped from his Integrity.
Over. Gad, Sir John, I should be glad to know where your truly Honest Men and truly Chast Ladies grow. ”

“ DIALOGUE Broadbottom, Sir John Probeum, Overall, Roseband, Blunt, and Smoothwell, sitting round a Table at Broadbottom’s House.
Overall.
TRUCE with Politics, I beseech you, Gentlemen.——I gad! ’tis unconscionable to lecture a Man thus at his own House. ”

“ We are to consider this Juncture as the Harvest Season of the Dutch. All the Markets we are shut out 55from by the War, are open to them by a Neutrality. But what I believe weighs not a little with them, is, that they dread embarking with us ever since they perceived that the Views of our Statesmen have tended more towards H——r than England. ’Tis that observable Bias to a Foreign Interest that will deter the States-General, if my Lord C—— does not succeed in his Embassy. ”

“ Broadbottom, that I hope it for yours, and your new Ingrafted Brethren’s Sake, who must rise or sink with the Publick, as these Points are dropt or vigorously pushed and obtain’d. What is it to the People who is in or out of Place, if they receive no Benefit by the Change? ”

“ They have been the Hopes as well as Darlings of their Country, and it should be their Study at this critical Juncture not to give Room for suspecting their Virtue. In short, they should avoid becoming themselves the Curse of their Country, or countenancing those that have been so for many Years. ”

“ Sir John. I would not willingly suspect Men, who owe more to their Constituents, than those they have all along opposed. On a Supposition that these had purchas’d, no matter how infamously, they assum’d a Sort of Right to reimburse themselves at the Expence of the Venders. But you Patriots have no such colourable Claim for disserving those who spontaneously chose you their Attornies with no private Views in the World, or any Views but such as tend to the Good of the Community in general. ”

“ Blunt. ’tis encouraging public Venality and Corruption. But C—ees are pretty Tubs, too often thrown out to amuse the People.
Sir John. What Pity ’tis to abuse the Credulity of the best natur’d People in the World!
Over. Sir John, you may praise their good Nature as much as you please; but, Gad! I say they are the veriest Oafs in Christendom. Z—ds! that a People should be so d—n’d stupid as to delegate their Power again and again; nay, a Power too over their Lives and Fortunes, to Men who had done them repeated Injuries, and of whom they had made repeated Complaints. ”

“ The War for the Sake of H——, has been carried on after a Manner so dishonourable, 26not to say infamous, and so expensive, that the old Standards, for a Reason easily pointed out, look upon a Peace to be absolutely necessary. ”

“ Blunt. Were not those Deserters lately thrust from the Barn, the Peoples Friends too before they were ingrafted on the Ministry? 27All are the Peoples Friends while they are rising on the Shoulders of the People; but when once they are up, away goes the Scaffolding. Mr. Broadbottom, I believe you are a Friend to the People, or I would not support your last Election, or your present Re-election ”

“ Gentlemen, I intreat we may live sociably together as usual. Let us not give Way to Spleen or Ill-nature. Mr. Roseband and Mr. Smoothwell happen at this Time to be in a more charitable Disposition than the rest of the Company. But, I assure myself, you will be all of one Opinion, when you see perfect Concord in the Administration, and that Union directed to promote publick Happiness.
Sir John. Mr. ”

“ In time, a new Set 12of Leaders may arise, but there must be Proof of their Truth and Abilities before they can acquire the necessary Confidence; and such Proof is not produced hastily.
Over. Right, old Sportsman. It must be Truth and Time that acquire the Captains of Foxhounds the Confidence of the Pack.
Smooth. Mr. Overall, you might have spared your Comparison of Foxhounds and Members of Parliament.
Rose. Nor is Sir John’s Doctrine of Motions less seasonable or pertinent.
Blunt. Decent Mr. Smoothwell, and you cautious Mr. ”