Henry Carey

“ Eating and Drinking are become so Customary among us that we seem to have entirely forgot, and laid aside the old Fashion of Fasting: Instead of having Wine sold at Apothecaries Shops, as formerly, every Street has two or three Taverns in it, least these Dumpling-Eaters should faint by the Way; nay, so zealous are they in the Cause of Bacchus, that one of the Chief among ’em has made a Vow never to say his Prayers ’till he has a Tavern of his own in every Street in London, and in every Market-Town in England. ”

“ Let not Englishmen therefore be asham’d of the Name of Pudding-Eaters; but, on the contrary, let it be their Glory. For let Foreigners cry out ne’er so much against Good Eating, they come easily into it when they have been a little while in our Land of Canaan; and there are very few Foreigners among as who have not learn’d to make as great a Hole in a good Pudding or Sirloin of Beef as the best Englishman of us all. ”

“ Since by insensible Degrees, their Society is become so numerous and formidable, that they are without Number; other Bodies have their Meetings, but where can the Dumpling-Eaters assemble? what Place large enough to contain ’em! ”

“ But what rais’d our Hero most in the Esteem of this Pudding-eating Monarch, was his Second Edition of Pudding, he being the first that ever invented the Art of Broiling Puddings, which he did to such Perfection, and so much to the King’s likeing, (who had a mortal Aversion to Cold Pudding,) that he thereupon instituted him Knight of the Gridiron, and gave him a Gridiron of Gold, the Ensign of that Order, which he always wore as a Mark of his Sovereign’s Favour; in short, Jack Pudding, or Sir John, grew to be all in all with good King John ”

“ Why do therefore the Enemies of good Eating, the Starve-gutted Authors of Grub-street, employ their impotent Pens against Pudding and Pudding-headed, aliàs Honest Men? Why do they inveigh against Dumpling-Eating which is the Life and Soul of Good-fellowship, and Dumpling-Eaters who are the Ornaments of Civil Society. ”

“ The Invention of Eggs was merely accidental, two or three of which having casually roll’d from off a Shelf into a Pudding which a good Wife was making, she found herself under a Necessity either of throwing away her Pudding, or letting the Eggs remain, but concluding from the innocent Quality of the Eggs, that they would do no Hurt, if they did no Good. ”

“ The Fears, the Jealousies, the Misrepresentations of an enraged and disappointed Party, give him no small Uneasiness to see the Ingratitude of some Men, the Folly of others, who shall believe black to be white, because prejudiced and designing Knaves alarm ’em with false Fears. We see every Action misconstrued, and Evil made out of Good; but as the best 29 Persons and Things are subject to Scandal and Ridicule; so have they the Pleasure of Triumphing in the Truth, which always will prevail.
I take the Allegory of this Dissertation to be partly Historical, partly Prophetical ”

“ Popes, Cardinals, Bishops, Priests and Deacons have, Time out of Mind, been great Pudding-Eaters: Is it not therefore a Holy and Religious Institution? Philosophers, Poets, and Learned Men in all Faculties, Judges, Privy-Councellors, and Members of both Houses, have, by their great Regard to Pudding, given a Sanction to it that nothing can efface. ”

“ The Romans, tho’ our Conquerors, found themselves much out-done in Dumplings by our Fore-fathers; the Roman Dumplings were no more to compare to those made by the Britons, than a Stone-Dumpling is to a Marrow Pudding; tho’ indeed, the British Dumpling at that time, was little better than what we call a Stone-Dumpling, being no thing else but Flour and Water: But every Generation growing wiser and wiser, the (4) Project was improv’d, and Dumpling grew to be Pudding: One Projector found Milk better than Water; another introduc’d Butter; some added Marrow, others Plumbs ”

“ Tho’ the Corruption of our English Orthography indulges some appearance of Distinction between Brand and Braund, yet in Effect they are one and the same thing. The ancient Manor of Brand’s, alias Braund’s, near Kilburn in Middlesex, was the very Manor-House of Sir John Brand, and is call’d Brand’s to this Day, altho’ at present it be in the Possession of the Family of Marsh.
What Honours are therefore due to One who is in a Direct Male Line, an Immediate Descendant from the Loins of that Great Man! ”

“ A Pudding signifies a P——t, and sometimes a C——tee. A Dumpling Eater, is a Dependant on the Court, or, in a Word, any one who will rather pocket an Affront than be angry at a Tip in Time. A Cook is a Minister of State. The Epicurean and Peripatetic Sects, are the two Parties of Whigg and Tory, who both are greedy enough of Dumpling. ”

“ But, alas! their Malice is their own Punishment. The Hireling Author of a late scandalous Libel, intituled, The Dumpling-Eaters Downfall, may, if he has any Eyes, now see his Error, in attacking so Numerous, so August a Body of People: His Books remain Unsold, Unread, Unregarded; while this Treatise of (23) Mine shall be Bought by all who love Pudding or Dumpling; to my Bookseller’s great Joy, and my no small Consolation. How shall I Triumph, and how will that Mercenary Scribbler be Mortify’d, when I have sold more Editions of my Books, than he has Copies of his! ”

“ For what is a Clyster, but a Bag-Pudding; a Pill, but a Dumpling; or a Bolus, but a Tansy, tho’ not altogether so Toothsome. In a word; Physick is only a Puddingizing or Cookery of Drugs. The Law is but a Cookery of Quibbles and Contentions. (a) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * is but a Pudding of * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. Some swallow every thing whole and unmix’d; so that it may rather be call’d a Heap, than a Pudding. ”

“ The pamphlets are distinguished by the fact that the author’s level of imagination and writing makes them delightful reading even today. In Dumpling the author displays a considerable knowledge of cooks and cookery in London; by insinuating that to love dumpling is to love corruption, he effectively and amusingly achieves satiric indirection against a number of political and social targets, including Walpole. The Key is in many ways a separate pamphlet in which Swift is the central figure under attack after his two secret visits to Walpole during 1726. ”

“ They told the King, who was naturally very hasty, that Sir John, made-away with his Wine, and feasted his Paramours at his Expence; and not only so, but they were 22 forming a Design against his Life, which they in Conscience ought to discover: That Sir John was not only an Heretic, but an Heathen; nay, worse, they fear’d he was a Witch, and that he had bewitch’d his Majesty into that unaccountable Fondness for a Pudding-Maker. ”

“ All our Journeymen Writers being now turned Masters, I am left to shift for my self; but am bringing up my Wife to the Business, and doubt not but a long War, and our mutual Industry, may rub off old Scores, and make us begin a new Reckoning with all Mankind ”

“ The reader need look no further than Namby Pamby to see that Carey satisfies Northrop Frye’s very proper observation: “Genius seems to have led practically every great satirist to become what the world calls obscene.”
As for the pamphlets being “palpably Whiggish,” the reader will not look far into the allegory before he realizes that one of the central attacks is against those well-known Whigs Walpole and Marlborough and their appetite for Dumpling (i.e., iii bribery and perquisites) . ”

“ Times are since mended, Amen to the Continuance!
The D——n, having eat and drank plentifully, began his usual Pleasantries, and made the Bookseller measure his Ears with his Mouth; nay, burst his Sides with Laughter; however, he found Interval enough to remind the D——n of Dumpling, who asked him if he had a quick Hand at Writing: he excused himself, being naturally as Lazy as the other was Indolent, so they contrived to ease themselves by sending for a Hackney Writer ix C out of Temple Lane to be the D—’s Amanuensis, while he and his new Acquaintance crack’d t’other Bottle. ”

“ Proceed we now to the other Discoveries, by drawing the Veil from before the Book it self.
[11] C2
A KEY TO THE DISSERTATION ON DUMPLING.
Shall begin with his Motto, which says, What is better than a Pudding? The Body owns its Power, the Mind, its Delicacy; it will give Youth to grey Hairs, and Life to the most Desponding: Therefore are 12 Pudding Eaters of great Use in State Affairs. ”

“ I therefore exhort all People, Gentle and Simple, Men, Women and Children, to Buy, to Read, to Extol these Labours of Mine, for the Honour of Dumpling-Eating. Let them not fear to defend every Article ”

“ All of these enjoyed Dumpling, and their tastes are ostensibly approved while at the same time being heavily undercut with satiric indirection. Naturally enough, Walpole (although a Dumpling Eater) is treated with considerable circumspection. Carey has warned us that he is a bad chronologist (Key, p. 21) , and the Sir John Pudding (be he Walpole or Marlborough [d. 1722] ) , who at the end of Dumpling is referred to as “the Hero of this DUMPLEID,” is for good reason spoken of in the past tense. ”

“ In his Tale of a Tub, he has a fling at Dependance, and Attendance, where he talks of a Body worn out with Poxes ill cured, and Shooes with Dependance, and Attendance. Not having the Book by me, I am forced to quote at Random, but I hope the courteous Reader will bear me out. He complains of it again in this Treatise, and makes a Complement to Mr. Austin, Mr. Braund’s late Servant; who keeps the Braund’s Head in New Bond-street, near Hanover-Square; a House of great Elegance, and where he used frequently to dine. ”

“ The Author doubts not in this Attempt to give manifest Proof of his Abilities, and make it apparent to all Mankind, that he can see as clearly through a Milstone, as any other Person can through the best Optic Martial or Scarlet ever made; and that there is more in many Things, not taken Notice of, than the Generality of People are aware of. ”

“ William E. Conway, William Andrews Clark Memorial Library; George Robert Guffey, University of California, Los Angeles; Maximillian E. Novak, University of California, Los Angeles
Corresponding Secretary: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, William Andrews Clark Memorial Library
The Society’s purpose is to publish rare Restoration and eighteenth-century works (usually as facsimile reproductions) . All income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and mailing. ”

“ One would imagine the D—n had been at Sea, by his writing Catharping-Fashion, and dodging the Story sometimes Twenty-Years backwards, 25 E at other Times advancing as many; so that one knows not where to have him: for in his fifteenth Page, he returns to the present Scene of Action, and brings his Hero into the Favour of K—— Harry, alias **** who being sensible of his Abilities, restores him into Favour, and makes Use of his admirable Skill in Cookery, alias State Affairs.
“Not one of the King’s Cooks could make a Pudding like Sir John ”

“ When, alas, it was only the Dumplings they eat. (11) C2 The Butter which was melted and pour’d over them, these vile Miscreants call’d Libations: And the friendly Compotations of our Dumpling-eaters, were call’d Bacchanalian Rites. Two or three among ’em being sweet-tooth’d, wou’d strew a little Sugar over their Dumplings; this was represented as an Heathenish Offering. In short, not one Action of theirs, but what these Rascally Abbots made Criminal, and never let the King alone ’till poor Sir John was Discarded. ”

“ This Letter, his Tale of a Tub, and in a Word, all his Invectives against Enthusiasm and Priestcraft, plainly prove him to be no Tory; and if his Intimacy, not only with Sir **** himself, but most of the prime Men in the Ministry, cannot prove him a Whig, I have no more to say. ”

“ Old Lawrence 17 D told me, the D—n has sate several Hours together to see the Children play, with the greatest Pleasure in Life: The rest he learned from the old Nurses thereabouts, of which there are a great many, with whom he would go and smoke a Pipe frequently, and cordially ”

“ Mr. B—— had spoke to Mr. W—— to speak to Mr. C——, who had just consented to employ me, after having made me abate half my demand: But Houses running thin, Colley had undertaken the Job himself to save Charges ”