Anonymous

“ Every one of ordinary intelligence knows that Kidney Disease, Affections of the Bladder and Urinary Complaints, are as legitimate and common to both sexes (all classes of society) , as those involving any other portion of the economy. Therefore, a remedy possessing unprecedented virtues in treatment of these diseases should have a respectful hearing. If afflicted, you will have reason to rejoice over the day you commenced the use of PROF. CHAPIN’S BUCHU-PAIBA (see other pages) . $1.00 per bottle, at Druggists. Sent to any address on receipt of price, $1 ”

“ If there is anything in this world calculated to make a man forget that he’s been to hear Moodey and Sankey on the previous evening, is to bounce cheerily out of bed in the morning and light on the business end of a tack. ”

“ NIGHT SWEATS are a sign of Weakness, Decline, Wasting, Debility in some form; may arise from excesses, too much drinking, tendency to CONSUMPTION or over-mental or physical exertion, &c. Whatever the cause they are dangerous, a sure sign of utter breaking down.
WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWER
Will stop and break up night sweats in two to four days, often sooner, and strengthen the entire organism against disease and premature decline. The “Renewer” is not a quack medicine, but an unequalled Tonic of True Merit.
[27] ”

“ Of all the organs the Liver is most commonly out of sorts, and when it is so everything else goes wrong. The Liver is the great regulator.
The coppery taste in the mouth, the greasy feeling about the throat and stomach, the sour stomach, the bilious feeling in general, radically relieved by these pills. Safe in any weather or climate, always effective. They search every corner of Liver, Stomach and Bowels. If you want a thorough Pill, use them. 25 cents per box. Then invigorate and tone up the system with WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWER. $1.00 at Druggists.
[23] ”

“ Great Triumph.—The universal success of Wells’ Throat and Lung Balsam, in Consumption, Coughs, Bronchitis, Asthma and Pulmonary diseases, is attracting notice throughout the country. It is without question a remarkable preparation, and has given abundant evidences of peculiar efficacy in controlling Pulmonary diseases. Cures of severest forms of long standing throat and lung affections reported every day. ”

“ Noisy little boys in Cincinnati are told that right in the centre of the hind hoofs of every live mule there is a little lump of gold, which can be easily dug out with a penknife.
There’s one pleasant thing about house cleaning. A man can straddle himself out in the parlor for a day or two and spit on the floor without spoiling a Brussels carpet. ”

“ She can do up her hair without cramming her mouth full of hairpins.
Nothing does a doctor so much good as to prescribe an ocean voyage for a sick man who can’t raise enough money to pay his street car fare down town. ”

“ A Kentucky judge has decided that a man has no right to harness his wife to a plow, no, not even with a mule. And yet women complain that they have no rights.
[24]
Drawing Lesson No. 23.
Mrs. Hash—“True! I did agree to board you for ten dollars a week, but I didn’t know you were going to take ‘Wells’ Health Renewer’ before every meal.”
“Well, madame, if you will purchase a box of ‘Rough on Rats’ and clear out all the rats, mice, flies, mosquitoes, roaches and bedbugs I will pay two dollars per week extra—but I can’t think, for a moment, of giving up the ‘Renewer.’”
[25]
75. ”

“ In our country it becomes tropical only under the name of Bourbon, and then it warms a man up so that he feels as if he were under the tropic of Capricorn.
To do business a man must have dollars and sense. ”

“ If a man dies regularly after being treated by a doctor, everybody knows why he died, and the coroner’s inquest is not necessary.
We have just received a sample copy of a new song, entitled “Put your arms around me, dear.” ”

“ EAT regularly, sparingly, and only of easily digested food, using no highly spiced dishes, pies, pickles, little or no pork, nor ham, and no mince pies; eat slowly, and masticate food thoroughly, and never eat a full meal on going to bed. ”

“ A man may forget his business, his family, and all the sacred obligations of life, but he always remembers where he got that counterfeit bill.
The furniture recently sold at the Astor House in New York, was rich with historical reminiscences and insects.
A Washington man who was treated to a “25-center,” slipped back to the cigar store, the other day, and economically exchanged it for “three for a quarter.”
[16]
Drawing Lesson No. 14.
Owners of Vessels, Tenement Houses, FARMERS, &c. Save Hundreds of Dollars by Using
“ROUGH ON RATS.”
An entirely new discovery. ”

“ Any lady who desires to try it, can do so by calling at our office after business hours—we mean the song.
“Union is not always strength,” as Sir Charles Napier said, when he saw the purser mixing his rum and water.
[6]
Drawing Lesson No. 5.
The thing desired found at last. Don’t die on the premises. Ask Druggists for “Rough on Rats.” It clears out Roaches, Bed-bugs, Rats, Mice, &c. 15 and 25c. Boxes.
Ladies, It’s Just Lovely.
Send 10 Cents to E. S. WELLS, Jersey City, N. J., and receive by return mail a beautiful “Rough on Rats” Iron Holder. It’s splendid. ”

“ BE AS JOYFUL and mirthful as possible, but avoid low minded, lewd or vulgar companions.
PERSONS WRITING FOR ADVICE
Should enclose $5.00 for special medicines.
SPECIAL MEDICINES.
If necessary (as is sometimes the case) where disease is complicated, special medicines will be prepared here at laboratory, and sufficient sent, on receipt of $5.00, to last a month.
E. S. WELLS, 22 Summit Ave., Jersey City.
NO GOODS SENT C. O. D.
Money should be sent by Post Office Money Order, Registered Letter or Express. Write your name and address plainly.
[33]
(New Style Label Adopted Feb’y, 1882.) ”

“ Clears out (don’t die in the house) Rats, Mice, Crows, Ants, Bed-bugs, Roaches, Musk-rats, Skunks, &c.
Drawing Lesson No. 15.
MAY APPLE PLANT.
(Sometimes called Mandrake or Podophyllum.)
The extract from this plant is the chief ingredient in WELLS’ MAY APPLE PILLS. These Pills contain no minerals; are harmless, operate easily, yet effectively, having special tendency to the Liver and removal of a bilious condition. If you try them you will never use any other. At Druggists or by mail.
E. S. WELLS, JERSEY CITY.
[17]
47. ”

“ They act pleasantly, properly, no griping, no calomel, no injury in any weather or climate. Reliable, healthful, a pleasant Family Pill, a great improvement, equally good for children or adults. The best, purest and safest, for Headache, Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Fullness, Biliousness, Liver Disease, &c. ”