Ben Jonson

“ Our shrimps to swim again, as when they liv'd, In a rare butter made of dolphins' milk, Whose cream does look like opals; and with these Delicate meats set ourselves high for pleasure, And take us down again, and then renew Our youth and strength with drinking the elixir, And so enjoy a perpetuity Of life and lust! And thou shalt have thy wardrobe Richer than nature's, still to change thy self, And vary oftener, for thy pride, than she, Or art, her wise and almost-equal servant. ”

“ I am a gentleman come here disguised, Only to find the knaveries of this citadel; And where I might have wrong'd your honour, and have not, I claim some interest in your love. You are, They say, a widow, rich: and I'm a batchelor, Worth nought: your fortunes may make me a man, As mine have preserv'd you a woman. Think upon it, And whether I have deserv'd you or no.
DAME P. I will, sir.
SUR. And for these household-rogues, let me alone To treat with them.
[ENTER SUBTLE.]
SUB. How doth my noble Diego, And my dear madam countess? hath the count Been courteous, lady? liberal, and open? ”

“ FACE. Nay, But understand: I'll give you composition.
SUB. I will not treat with thee; what! sell my fortune? 'Tis better than my birth-right. Do not murmur: Win her, and carry her. If you grumble, Dol Knows it directly.
FACE. Well, sir, I am silent. Will you go help to fetch in Don in state?
[EXIT.]
SUB. I follow you, sir. We must keep Face in awe, Or he will over-look us like a tyrant. [RE-ENTER FACE, INTRODUCING SURLY DISGUISED AS A SPANIARD.] Brain of a tailor! who comes here? Don John! ”

“ FACE. O, sir, we are defeated! all the works Are flown in fumo, every glass is burst; Furnace, and all rent down, as if a bolt Of thunder had been driven through the house. Retorts, receivers, pelicans, bolt-heads, All struck in shivers! [SUBTLE FALLS DOWN AS IN A SWOON.] Help, good sir! alas, Coldness and death invades him. Nay, sir Mammon, Do the fair offices of a man! ”

“ I'll have you to my chamber of demonstrations, Where I will shew you both the grammar and logic, And rhetoric of quarrelling; my whole method Drawn out in tables; and my instrument, That hath the several scales upon't, shall make you Able to quarrel at a straw's-breadth by moon-light. ”

“ SUB. My most honour'd lady, For so I am now to style you, having found By this my scheme, you are to undergo An honourable fortune, very shortly. What will you say now, if some --
FACE. I have told her all, sir, And her right worshipful brother here, that she shall be A countess; do not delay them, sir; a Spanish countess.
SUB. Still, my scarce-worshipful captain, you can keep No secret! Well, since he has told you, madam, Do you forgive him, and I do.
KAS. She shall do that, sir; I'll look to it, 'tis my charge.
SUB. Well then: nought rests But that she fit her love now to her fortune. ”

“ FACE. Now to our don.
SUB. Yes, your young widow by this time Is made a countess, Face; she has been in travail Of a young heir for you.
FACE. Good sir.
SUB. Off with your case, And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should, After these common hazards.
FACE. Very well, sir. Will you go fetch Don Diego off, the while?
SUB. And fetch him over too, if you'll be pleased, sir: Would Dol were in her place, to pick his pockets now!
FACE. Why, you can do't as well, if you would set to't. I pray you prove your virtue.
SUB. For your sake sir.
[EXEUNT.]
SCENE 4.4. ”

“ FACE. Why, now's the time, if ever you will quarrel Well, as they say, and be a true-born child: The doctor and your sister both are abused.
KAS. Where is he? which is he? he is a slave, Whate'er he is, and the son of a whore. -- Are you The man, sir, I would know?
SUR. I should be loth, sir, To confess so much.
KAS. Then you lie in your throat.
SUR. How!
FACE [TO KASTRIL] . A very errant rogue, sir, and a cheater, Employ'd here by another conjurer That does not love the doctor, and would cross him, If he knew how.
SUR. Sir, you are abused.
KAS. You lie: And 'tis no matter. ”

“ What! the stone will do't.
She shall feel gold, taste gold, hear gold, sleep gold; Nay, we will concumbere gold: I will be puissant, And mighty in my talk to her. -- [RE-ENTER FACE, WITH DOL RICHLY DRESSED.] Here she comes.
FACE. To him, Dol, suckle him. -- This is the noble knight, I told your ladyship --
MAM. Madam, with your pardon, I kiss your vesture.
DOL. Sir, I were uncivil If I would suffer that; my lip to you, sir.
MAM. I hope my lord your brother be in health, lady.
DOL. My lord, my brother is, though I no lady, sir. ”

“ FACE. The very house, sir, would run mad. You know it, How scrupulous he is, and violent, 'Gainst the least act of sin. Physic, or mathematics, Poetry, state, or bawdry, as I told you, She will endure, and never startle; but No word of controversy.
MAM. I am school'd, good Ulen.
FACE. And you must praise her house, remember that, And her nobility.
MAM. Let me alone: No herald, no, nor antiquary, Lungs, Shall do it better. Go.
FACE [ASIDE] . Why, this is yet A kind of modern happiness, to have Dol Common for a great lady.
[EXIT.]
MAM. Now, Epicure, Heighten thyself, talk to her all in gold ”

“ E'en take your lot, obey your chance, sir; win her, And wear her out, for me.
SUB. 'Slight, I'll not work her then.
FACE. It is the common cause; therefore bethink you. Dol else must know it, as you said.
SUB. I care not.
SUR. Senores, porque se tarda tanto?
SUB. Faith, I am not fit, I am old.
FACE. That's now no reason, sir.
SUR. Puede ser de hazer burla de mi amor?
FACE. You hear the Don too? by this air, I call, And loose the hinges: Dol!
SUB. A plague of hell --
FACE. Will you then do?
SUB. You are a terrible rogue! I'll think of this: will you, sir, call the widow? ”

“ You must render causes, child, Your first and second intentions, know your canons And your divisions, moods, degrees, and differences, Your predicaments, substance, and accident, Series, extern and intern, with their causes, Efficient, material, formal, final, And have your elements perfect. ”

“ It hath a heavy cast, 'tis upsee Dutch, And says you are a lumpish whore-master. Be lighter, and I will make your pockets so. [ATTEMPTS TO PICK THEM.]
SUR [THROWS OPEN HIS CLOAK] . Will you, don bawd and pickpurse? [STRIKES HIM DOWN.] how now! reel you? Stand up, sir, you shall find, since I am so heavy, I'll give you equal weight.
SUB. Help! murder!
SUR. No, sir, There's no such thing intended: a good cart, And a clean whip shall ease you of that fear. I am the Spanish don "that should be cozen'd, Do you see, cozen'd?" ”

“ SUB. En gallanta madama, Don! gallantissima!
SUR. Por todos los dioses, la mas acabada hermosura, que he visto en mi vida!
FACE. Is't not a gallant language that they speak?
KAS. An admirable language! Is't not French?
FACE. No, Spanish, sir. ”

“ SUB. Yes, the casa, My precious Diego, will prove fair enough To cozen you in. Do you mark? you shall Be cozen'd, Diego.
FACE. Cozen'd, do you see, My worthy Donzel, cozen'd.
SUR. Entiendo.
SUB. Do you intend it? so do we, dear Don. Have you brought pistolets, or portagues, My solemn Don? -- Dost thou feel any?
FACE [FEELS HIS POCKETS] . Full.
SUB. You shall be emptied, Don, pumped and drawn Dry, as they say.
FACE. Milked, in troth, sweet Don.
SUB. See all the monsters; the great lion of all, Don. ”

“ FACE. List, sir.
SUR. El sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el esplandor que trae esta dama! Valgame dios!
FACE. He admires your sister.
KAS. Must not she make curt'sy?
SUB. Ods will, she must go to him, man, and kiss him! It is the Spanish fashion, for the women To make first court.
FACE. 'Tis true he tells you, sir: His art knows all.
SUR. Porque no se acude?
KAS. He speaks to her, I think.
FACE. That he does, sir.
SUR. Por el amor de dios, que es esto que se tarda?
KAS. Nay, see: she will not understand him! gull, Noddy. ”