Booth Tarkington

“ HAWCASTLE My God!
[He springs forward and touches a bell on wall.]
LADY CREECH An outrage! Our plans all so horribly upset—
HAWCASTLE [turning and coming down steps]
No, they're not.
[MARIANO appears in the doorway.]
HAWCASTLE Mariano, I'm off for Naples. Sharp's the word!
MARIANO It is too late for the boat, Milor'. You must drive to Castellamare for the train. ”

“ IVANOFF [looking out of the window over PIKE'S shoulder]
Look! Near the lamp yonder—there by the doors—the carabiniere.
PIKE They've been there since this afternoon.
[Shading his eyes from the light of the room with one hand.]
Look there—who on earth—who's that they've got with them?—Why, good Lord! it's Doc!
[Astounded.]
IVANOFF It is Herr von Gröllerhagen! Did I not tell you he was a Russian? He has betrayed me himself. He was not satisfied that others should.
[Bitterly.]
I knew I was in the wolf's throat here! [pg 138]
PIKE Don't you believe it! ”

“ Aubyn, future Countess of Hawcastle!
[MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY, lightly, at the same time withdrawing her hands and picking up her parasol from the chair where she has left it.]
MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY Yes, there is but those little arrangement over the settlement paper between your advocate and Lord Hawcastle's; but you Americans—you laugh at such things. You are big, so big, like your country! ”

“ MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY [quickly]
You are invidious, mon ami! My affair is not settled—am I a clumsy oof?
HAWCASTLE [leaning toward her across the table and speaking sharply and earnestly]
No, Hélène. Your little American, brother Horace, is so in love with you, if you asked him suddenly, "Is this day or night?" he would answer, "It's Hélène." But [pg 027] he's too shy to speak. You're a woman—you can't press matters; but Almeric's a man—he can. He can urge an immediate marriage, which means an immediate settlement, and a direct one. ”

“ ETHEL No, I can't quite imagine him doing that.
[Enter PIKE from the grove, followed by IVANOFF.]
VASILI [to PIKE]
I have come to bid you goodbye, my friend. Life is a service of farewells, they say; but if you ever come to St. Petersburg when I am there you will be made welcome. Your ambassador will tell you where to find me. [pg 161]
PIKE I know I'd be welcome; and if you ever get out as far as Indiana, don't miss Kokomo—the depot hackman will tell you where to find me, and the boys will help me show you a good time. You'd like it, Doc—
[He stops, horrified at his slip of the tongue.] ”

“ Enter from the grove, LORD HAWCASTLE. He is a well-preserved man of fifty-six with close-clipped gray mustache and gray hair; his eyes are quick and shrewd; his face shows some slight traces of high living; he carries himself well and his general air is distinguished and high-bred. ”

“ LADY CREECH One never knows what these weird Americans hope. Hawcastle assures me you have some such idea, but my charge has studied under my instruction—deportment, manners, and ideals—which has lifted her above the mere American circumstance of her birth. ”

“ MARIANO I think Milor' Hawcastle and Madame de Champigny have been in Russia sometime.
RIBIERE [putting his note-book in his pocket]
Why?
MARIANO Beckoss once I have hear them spik Russian togezzer.
RIBIERE I think there is small chance that they recognize my employer. His portrait is little known.
MARIANO And this North American who come in the automobile—does he know who he travel wiz? Does he know his Highness?
RIBIERE No more than the baby which is not borned. ”

“ The sky has cleared wonderfully. Everything is settled.
ETHEL Yes; it's all over; my guardian has consented.
ALMERIC Of course I never worried about it—but I fancy it will be a weight off the Governor's mind. I'll see that a wire catches him at Naples—and he'll be glad to know what became of that arrangement about the convict fellow, too.
ETHEL [very seriously]
Almeric, I think it's noble to be brave in trouble, but—
ALMERIC [puzzled]
I say, you know, you've really got me!
ETHEL I mean that I admire you for your pluck, for seeming unconcerned under disgrace, but—
ALMERIC Disgrace? ”

“ Here, son!
[He hands the towel to MICHELE. PIKE rapidly descends the steps, goes to the breakfast-table, joining VASILI and taking the seat opposite him.]
VASILI [gayly]
You're a true patriot, my friend. You allow no profane hand to cook your national dish. I trust you will be as successful with that wicked motor of mine.
PIKE [chuckling]
Lord bless your soul, I've put a self-binder together after a pony-engine had butted it half-way through a brick deepoe!
[Tucks his napkin in collar of his waistcoat and applies himself to the meal.] ”

“ HAWCASTLE There's a carriage waiting for me at the gate yonder. Get these things into it quick—quick!
[MARIANO beckons porters from the hotel. Porters enter sharply and carry bags, etc., off.]
[Meanwhile, HAWCASTLE, without pause, continues rapidly and in an excited voice to ALMERIC and LADY CREECH.]
You must see it through; you mustn't let the thing fail; what's more, you've got to hurry it, just as if I were here. This girl gave her word last night that she'd stick. [pg 156]
LADY CREECH But she's behaving very peculiarly this morning. ”

“ If anybody wants our money for nothin' he has to show energy enough to steal it. I wonder a man like you doesn't emigrate.
VASILI Bravo!
HAWCASTLE [to HORACE]
Your countryman seems to be rather down on us! [pg 055]
HORACE This fellow is distinctly of the lower orders. We should cut him as completely in the States as here.
VASILI I wonder you make this long journey, my friend, instead of to spend your holiday at home.
PIKE Holiday! Why, I never had time even to go to Niagara Falls!
VASILI [to MARIANO]
Finito!
[Sets his napkin carelessly on table and lights a Russian cigarette.] ”

“ There is a broad green gate of the Southern Italian type, closed. A white-columned pergola runs obliquely down from the wall on the right. The top of the pergola is an awning formed by a skeleton of green-painted wooden strips thickly covered by entwining lemon branches bearing ripening lemons. Between the columns of the pergola are glimpses of a formal Italian garden: flowers, hedges, and a broad flat marble vase on a slender pedestal, etc. On the left a two-story wing of the hotel meets the wall at the back and runs square across to the left; a lemon grove lies to the left also. ”

“ PIKE You'll stay here for the next twenty minutes if I have to make Crecy and Agincourt look like a Peace Conference!
[She looks at him aghast, sinks into chair by table; he continues after a very slight pause.] [pg 141]
You and your brother have soaked up a society-column notion of life over here; you're like old Pete Delaney of Terry Hut—he got so he'd drink cold tea if there was a whiskey label on the bottle. They've fuddled you with labels. It's my business to see that you know what kind of people you're dealin' with. ”

“ MARIANO, immediately upon LADY CREECH'S entrance, appears in hotel doors, makes a quick gesture toward breakfast-table, and withdraws.]
[MICHELE, laughing, immediately enters by same doors, goes rapidly to the breakfast-table and clears it. The others pay no attention to this.]
HORACE [at steps up left]
It's not a riot—it's a revolution.
LADY CREECH [sinking into a chair, angrily]
One of your horrid fellow-countrymen, my dear. Your Americans are really too—
ETHEL [proudly]
Not my Americans, Lady Creech! [pg 041]
HORACE Not ours, you know. ”

“ Herr von Gröllerhagen—
RIBIERE He wishes to be thought a German.
[Takes a note-book from case.]
MARIANO Such a man! of caprice? Excentrique? Ha!
RIBIERE You have said it. Last night he talked by chance to a singular North American in the hotel at Napoli. To-day he has that stranger for companion in the automobile. I remonstrate. What use? He laugh for half an hour!
MARIANO He is not like those cousin of his at St. Petersburg an' Moscowa. An' yet though Monseigneur is so good an' generoso, will not the anarchist strike against the name of royalty himself? You have not the fear? ”

“ Do you think I would believe that an English noble would stoop—
PIKE [with passionate indignation]
Stoop! Why, ten years ago in St. Petersburg there was a poor revolutionist who, in his crazy patriotism, took government [pg 146] money for the cause he believed in. He made the mistake of keeping that money in his house, when this man
[pointing at HAWCASTLE]
knew it was there. He also made the mistake of having a wife that this man coveted and stole—as he coveted and stole the money. Oh, he made a good job of it! ”

“ He has to bear a name that will be a by-word of disgrace, and it is my duty to help him bear it, to help him make it honorable again; to inspire him in the struggle that lies before him to rise above it by his own efforts, to make a career for himself ”

“ MARIANO, maître d'hôtel, is discovered laying the table down R.C. with eggs, coffee, and rolls for two. He is a pleasant-faced, elderly man, stout, swarthy, clean shaven; wears dress-clothes, white waist-coat, and black tie. He is annoyed by the music.
MARIANO [calling to the unseen musicians crossly]
Silenzio!
[MICHELE enters from the hotel. He is young, clean-shaven except for a dark mustache, wears a white tie, a blue coat, cut like dress-coat, blue trousers with red side stripes, brass buttons; his waistcoat is of striped red and blue.] ”

“ The rise of the curtain discloses PIKE sitting in a dejected attitude in an arm-chair. He wears a black tie, collar and linen as before, black trousers, a white waistcoat, cut rather low, and a black frock-coat—"Western statesman" style—not fashionably cut, but well-fitting and graceful.
MARIANO passes through the conservatory at back bearing a coffee-tray. LADY CREECH, in an evening gown of black velvet and lace, follows with stately tread. HORACE, in evening clothes, follows, with MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY on his arm; she is in a handsome, very Parisian, décolleté dress. ”

“ Those poor musician'
[nodding off right]
they wait always at every gate, to play when they see any one coming. There is only seex peoples in the 'ole house! All of one party. [pg 017]
RIBIERE Good! Who are they?
MARIANO There is Milor', an English Excellency—the Earl of Hawcastle; there is his son, the Excellency Honorabile Almeric St. Aubyn; there is Miladi Creeshe, an English Miladi who is sister-in-law to Milor' Hawcastle.
RIBIERE [taking notes]
Three English.
MARIANO There is an American Signorina, Mees Granger-Seempsone. Miladi Creeshe travel with her to be chaperone. ”

“ You're always exhibiting your superiority! Would you do that to the dream girl you told me of, to the girl at home who plays dream songs for you in the empty house among the beeches? Do you think any girl could love a man for that? ”

“ I never understand people when they mumble their words.
[RIBIERE, who looks anxious, appears in the hotel doorway, then stands aside on the stoop for MARIANO and MICHELE; they enter and pass him with trays, fresh cloth, etc., for table down right, which they rapidly proceed to set. A valet de chambre enters up left, following them immediately. [pg 042] He carries a tray with a silver dish of caviar and a bottle of vodka. As he enters he hesitates for one moment, looking inquiringly at RIBIERE, who motions him quickly toward MARIANO and MICHELE, and withdraws. ”

“ I—I couldn't bear it, Hoddy.
HORACE Then keep him out of the way. That's simple enough. None of them, except the solicitor, need see him.
[Instantly upon this there is a tremendous though distant commotion beyond the hotel—wild laughter and cheers, the tarantella played by mandolins and guitars, also sung, shouts of "Bravo Americano!" and "Yanka Dooda!" The noise continues and increases gradually.]
ETHEL [as the uproar begins]
What is that? [pg 040]
HORACE Must be a mob. ”

“ This Hawcastle knows, and he knows it as well as I know you're sittin' in that chair, that we've got that poor fellow in yonder.
[Pointing to the door on the right.]
VASILI Surely you can trust Lord Hawcastle not to mention it. He must know that the consequences for you, as well as for me, would be, to say the least, disastrous. Surely you made that clear to him.
PIKE [grimly]
No; he made it clear to me. Two [pg 124] years in jail is the minimum, and if I don't make up my mind by ten o'clock
[VASILI looks at his watch]
to do what he wants me to do—
VASILI What does he want you to do? ”

“ But a great man is sure to be set upon a pedestal by some pretty lady.
[ETHEL turns away.]
It is a great responsibility to occupy a pedestal. On that account I depart in some anxiety for you.
PIKE What do you mean?
VASILI Ah, you do not understand? Then, my friend—what is it you have taught me to say?—ah, yes—then there is sand in your gear-box.
[VASILI gives his hand to IVANOFF quietly, bows deeply to ETHEL, and goes quickly into the hotel.]
IVANOFF [turning to ETHEL]
Dear, kind young lady, your guardian has known how to make me accept [pg 162] the help you granted. ”

“ Why, we've got just the same thing at home. There was little Annie Hoffmeyer. Her pa was a carpenter and doing well. But Annie couldn't get into the Kokomo Ladies' Literary Club, and her name didn't show up in the society column four or five times every Saturday morning, so she got her pa to give her the money to marry Artie Seymour, the minister's son—and a regular minister's son he was! Almost broke [pg 109] Hoffmeyer's heart, but he let her have her way and went in debt and bought them a little house on North Main Street. ”

“ Russian running away from Siberia, where he'd been for nine years.
[She rises; her eyes eagerly meet his.]
A poor weak thing, hounded like you've seen a rat in the gutter by dogs and bootblacks. Some of your friends here saw us bring him into this apartment; they know we've got him here now. If I don't agree to hand over you and seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars of the money John Simpson made, it means that the man I have tried to help goes back to rot in Siberia and I go to an Italian jail for two years, or as much longer as they can make it.
HAWCASTLE [violently]
Nonsense! ”

“ RIBIERE comes quickly and noiselessly from the room to the right. They stand bowing as VASILI enters through the conservatory. Valet immediately closes the doors. VASILI wears an overcoat trimmed with sables, a silk hat, evening clothes, and white gloves; order ribbon in his button-hole.
PIKE [as VASILI enters]
I'm mighty glad you've come—I've been waiting.
VASILI [to RIBIERE, and speaking in undertone]
You have telegraphed for the information?
RIBIERE Yes, sir.
[Valet, with coat, hat, etc., goes out, followed by RIBIERE.]
VASILI I have dined with an old tutor of mine. ”

“ IVANOFF is a thin, very fragile-looking man of thirty-eight. His disordered hair is prematurely gray, his beard is a grizzled four days' stubble. He is exceedingly haggard and worn, but has the face and look of a man of refinement and cultivation. He has lost his hat; his shoes and trousers are splashed with dried mud, and brambles cling to him here and there. He wears a soiled white shirt and collar, and a torn black tie, black waistcoat and trousers. He is covered with dust from head to foot ”

“ MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY [speaking gayly, with a very slight accent, as she crosses to a chair at the table]
I trust your beautiful son has found much better employment—as our hearts would wish him to.
HAWCASTLE He has. He's off on a canter with the little American, thank God! ”