Charlotte M. Yonge

“ Gilbert had gone ‘because he could not help it.’
‘Not help it!’ cried Albinia, looking at him with her clear indignant eyes. ‘How can you be such a poor creature, Gilbert?’
‘It is very hard!’ exclaimed Gilbert; ‘I must go past Robble’s Leigh twice every day of my life, and Archie will come out and be at me.’
‘That is the very temptation you have to resist,’ said Albinia. ‘Fight against it, pray against it, resolve against it; ride fast, and don’t linger and look after him.’
He looked desponding and miserable. If she could only have put a spirit into him! ”

“ Albinia did not think it would be right to argue it away. It might be in truth a warning to him to guard his ways—a voice from the twin-brother, to be with him through life. She knelt down by him, and kissed his forehead.
‘Dear Gilbert,’ she said, ‘we all shall die.’
‘Yes, but I shall die young.’
‘And if you should. Those are happy who die young. How much pain your baby-brother and sisters have missed! How happy Edmund is now!’
‘Then you really think it meant that I shall’’ he cried, tremblingly. ‘O don’t! I can’t die!’
‘Your brother called on what he loved best,’ said Albinia. ”

“ Many bear the cross no better, who have had it marked on their brows.’
‘Can it be done now?’ cried Sophy, eagerly.
‘Certainly; I think it ought to be done. We will see what your father says.’
‘Oh, mamma, beg him, pray him!’ exclaimed Sophy. ‘I know it will make me begin to be good! I can’t bear not to be one of those marked and sealed. Oh! and, mamma, you will be my godmother? Can’t you? If the gleams of goodness and brightness do find me out, they are always from you.’
‘I think I might be, dear child,’ said Albinia, ‘but Mr. Dusautoy must tell us whether I may. ”

“ Your aunt had few resources to which to turn her mind. Every pursuit or study is a help stored up against the vacuity which renders every care more corroding.’
‘Well!’ said Sophy, in her blunt, downright way, ‘I think it would take all the spirit out of everything.’
‘I hope you will never be tried,’ said Mr. Kendal, with a mournful smile, as if he did not choose to confess that she had divined too rightly the probable effect of trouble upon her own temperament.
‘I suppose,’ said Albinia, ‘that the real cure can be but one thing for that, as for any other trouble. ”

“ I told him all, and he knew it before, and yet he loves me! Oh! why are people so very good to me?’
‘I could easily find an answer to that question,’ said Albinia. ‘Where is he, my dear?’
‘He is gone home. I would not come into the town with him. It is nothing, you know; no one must hear of it, for he must be free unless his parents consent—and I know they never can,’ she said, shaking her head, sadly, ‘but even then I shall have one secret of happiness—I shall know what has been! But oh! Mrs. Kendal, let me go away—’
‘Go away now?’ exclaimed Albinia. ”

“ It can’t be helped, and there’s an end of it.’
‘There is not an end of it, indeed!’ cried Albinia. ‘Why, Sophy, do you suppose I could bear to leave you so?’
‘I’m sure I don’t see why not.’
‘Why not?’ continued Albinia, in her bright, tender voice. ‘Why, because I must love you with all my heart. You are your own dear papa’s child, and this little man’s sister. Yes, and you are yourself, my poor, sad, lonely child, who does not know how to bring out the thoughts that prey on her, and who thinks it very hard to have a stranger instead of her own mother. ”

“ Kendal was with Maria.
‘Ah! that is kind,’ she said; ‘but he must tell her not to think of me. I am an old woman, good for nothing but to be put out of the way, and she has gone through quite enough! You will not let her give it up! Tell her I have not many more years to live, and anything is good enough for me.’
‘That would hardly comfort her,’ said Albinia, affectionately; ‘but indeed, dear grandmamma, I hope we shall convince her that we can do something to supply her place.’
‘Ah! my dear, you are very kind, but nobody can be like a daughter! ”

“ It had evidently occupied her for a long time. ‘Mamma, must not every one with feeling be in love once in their life?’
‘Well done, reserve!’ thought Albinia—‘but she is only a child, after all; not a blush, only those great eyes seeming ready to devour my answer. What ought it to be? Whatever it is, she will brood on it till her time comes. I must begin, or I shall grow nervous: “Dear Sophy, these are not things good to think upon. There is quite enough to occupy a Christian woman’s heart and soul without that—no need for her feelings to shrivel up for want of exercise. ”

“ Now, two years of love that she had been allowed to imagine returned and sanctioned, and love with the depth and force of Sophy’s whole nature—the shame of having loved unasked, the misery of having lived in a delusion—how would they act upon a being of her morbid tendency, frail constitution, and proud spirit? As Albinia thought of the passive endurance of last year’s estrangement, her heart sank within her! Illness—brain-fever—permanent ill-health and crushed spirits—nay, death itself she augured—and all—all her own fault! ”

“ I would far rather not tell them. Need I? Oh! madame, surely you can speak to him, and no one need ever hear of it?’ implored Genevieve. ‘You have promised me that no one shall be told!’
‘No one shall, my dear. I hope soon to tell you that he is heartily ashamed of having teased you. No one need be ashamed of thinking you very dear and good—you can’t help being loveable, but Master Gibbie has no right to tell you so, and we’ll put an end to it. He will soon be in India out of your way. Good-bye!’
Albinia kissed the confused and blushing maiden, and walked away, provoked, yet diverted. ”

“ You want Willie to be another Fred,’ said Albinia, like an old hen, ruffling up her feathers. ‘You think a boy can’t be good for anything unless he is a universal plague!’
‘I wonder what you will do with your own son,’ said Maurice, amused, ‘since you take Gilbert’s part so fiercely.’
‘I trust my boy will never be as much to be pitied as his brother,’ said Albinia, with tenderness that accused her petulance. ‘At least he can never be a lonely twin with that sore spot in his heart. ”

“ If you have a busy life, the more reason to learn to be tranquil. Calm is forced on you now, and if you give way to useless nervous brooding over the work you are obliged to lay aside for a time, you have no right to hope that you will either have judgment or temper for your tasks.’
‘But how am I to keep from thinking, Maurice? The weaker I am, the more I think.’
‘Are you dutiful as to what Winifred there thinks wisest? Ah! Albinia, you want to learn, as poor Queen Anne of Austria did, that docility in illness may be self-resignation into higher Hands. ”

“ As if I had not acted so that if Albinia ever had a temper, she must have shown it.’
‘I knew you would not believe me, and I really am not afraid of her doing any harm by it, if that is what you suspect me of. No, indeed; but I fear it may make her feel any trials of her position more acutely than a placid person would.’
‘Oho! so you own there will be trials!’
‘My dear Winifred, as if I had not sat up till twelve last night laying them before Albinia. How sick the poor child must be of our arguments, when there is no real objection, and she is so much attached! ”