Elizabeth F. Guptill

“ My babies all yelled to see their bill of fare Going down that dog’s neck, but not much did he care Till I caught him, and gin him a trouncing. You bet That the greedy old critter’s hide smarts on him yet. Then I gin Mother Hubbard a piece of my mind Till she went away, snuffling. Said I was “unkind”!
Mother Goose. There, do stop your jawing! Just give them some bread. I often have told you you should. A good slice of bread, spread with butter and jam, Is sure to do any child good.
Old Woman. I never give bread to my babies, you know! It isn’t good for them, at all. ”

“ My bunny’s got a nice fur coat, And a nice fur bonnet, too. [30]
Rock-a-bye Baby. I wish I had a bunny! I’ve got a Teddy Bear, And you shall take him, Baby, If you’ll your bunny share.
(They go, hand in hand, to one side, where they sit down on the floor together, and exchange pets. They continue to play with them, and exchange them occasionally.)
(Cross Patch runs in, evidently in a temper.)
Cross Patch. Now where’s that Willie Winkie? I’ll teach him a thing or two! (She spies him.) You horrid boy!
(She seizes him, and begins to shake him. Mother Goose takes her away.) ”

“ Simon. They be n’t good a bit! I don’t like ’em!
Several Others. Nor I!
Dingty. The old man said that they made good pie. They are not good raw. It’s well it’s so, Or we wouldn’t get any pie, I know.
Mother Goose (to audience) . I hope they’ve amused you, each lassie and lad. Though they’re not very good, still, they’re not very bad! Jest a troublesome flock, like your own, I dare say, Up to some mischief the most of the day; Yet you wouldn’t spare one, and neither would I. Now I must go make them that gombobble pie. Come again, folks, to see us. Come often, now do! Good-bye. Hey? ”

“ Old Woman (singing) . Byelow baby, sleep like a lady, You shall have milk when the cow comes home.
(She should fuss over her babies a good deal, as the play progresses, occasionally taking up one to kiss, cuddle, or spank, as the case may be. A bang is heard, then a peal of laughter, followed by a scream.)
Mother Goose. There! That’s the twins, you can tell by their noise. They make as much racket as seventeen boys!
(Jill runs in, with Jack in pursuit. Mother Goose seizes him, and Jill turns and makes faces at him.)
Jack (struggling) . Lemme go, Mother. Just let me catch Jill. ”

“ If you do not wish to go to the trouble of making costumes, many of the children may wear their own school suits, being distinguished by what they carry—Bo Peep by her crook, Boy Blue by his horn, etc. Of course, those impersonating the old women must have long dresses.
Old Mother Goose wears a quilted yellow skirt, about to her ankles, a red, pointed waist, and pannier overskirt, also of red. The waist has a chemisette of white. Her shoes are high-heeled, low cut black shoes, with large silver buckles and red heels. Her stockings are red. ”

“ But will you get it? We don’t think you will. Her cow’s a kicker that never stands still.
Tommy. I know how to fix that old crumpled-horn cow, It’s a dandy plan, you will agree. I’ll tie her hind legs to two well-planted posts, And the milk will be safe, as you see.
(Willie Winkie runs in, laughing.)
Willie. My, but I’ve had heaps of fun! I hid Jack Horner’s pie, Where he’ll never think of looking. I tormented Simple Si, I made sweet Cross Patch awful mad, and teased old Mother Hubbard. When next she finds old Rover, she’ll have an empty cupboard! ”

“ Mother Goose and Mother Hubbard may knit, the Old Woman tend her babies, Jack and Jill nudge and push one another, or tease others. Miss Muffett sulks, Cross Patch strikes at the boys who tease her, etc. The Bachelor occasionally tries to join some group, but is always brought back by his wife, who lectures him in pantomime. Tom Tucker is all taken up with the Milk Maid. Simon, when not eating, stares, open-mouthed, and backs away from Jack Horner, who is inclined to fight with him. Once in a while, Georgie scares one of the girls with his spider. ”

“ Contrary Mary wears a dress of some large-flowered goods. The waist is very short and full, the skirt is straight, and very full, after the Greenaway style, and ends about half-way between her knees and ankles. It has a low round neck, and short puffed sleeves. She wears a long string of shells and beads, of different styles and colors, strung anyhow. She has a ruffled white apron, which she wears behind, tied in a large bow in front. On one foot is a white shoe and black stocking, on the other a black shoe and white stocking. On one hand is a long black mitt, on the other, a tan glove. ”

“ Old Mother Hubbard wears a red skirt, an old-fashioned “polonaise” of some flowered material (large figures) , a bib apron, a white kerchief, and either an old-fashioned bonnet, or a ruffled cap. In either case, the strings are tied primly beneath her chin. She might carry a bone. She has black mitts.
The Bachelor’s Wife wears a hoop skirt, and a white dress, the skirt of which is covered with ruffles. The waist may be made in any way that goes well with the skirt. She has a white shawl, white mitts, and a white bonnet trimmed with pink ribbon and rosebuds. ”

“ I wish you’d whip Tom, Ma, I do! He’s made me lose my nice new shoe. I’ve danced with a hoptoad and danced with a linnet, While he kept that pipe going every minute. I’ve danced with a snake and I’ve danced with a clam, I’ve danced with a cow and I’ve danced with a lamb! [43] I’ve danced with old Rover, his long hanging ears Going flippety-flop, while he smiled through his tears! And I’d have been dancing yet, truly, Ma Goose, If something in that old pipe hadn’t come loose!
(All sing. Tune: No. 19.)
No. 19. LITTLE BETTY BLUE.
(Also, Sing a Song of Sixpence.)
[Play Music]
All. ”

“ A battered straw hat is on the back of his head, his hair is uncombed, and he is none too clean. He and Jill have a battered pail. Jack has it when he enters, but Jill has it part of the time, and sometimes they swing it between them.
Tommy Tucker wears gray knickerbockers, a blue Norfolk jacket, blue stockings and cap, and gray belt.
Georgie Porgie wears a brown Greenaway suit, with long trousers buttoned over a short tight waist, in what used to be known as a “broadfall.” He has a white frill collar. He carries a large cloth spider by a string. ”

“ Sometimes she pulls up her apron, and sulks into that.
Betty Blue wears an Empire dress of blue, blue stockings, and white shoes. A blue ribbon passes around the very short waist of her dress, and is tied at the left side of the front in four short loops and two long ends which fall to the hem of the skirt. The elbow sleeves are tied around with blue ribbons, as is her hair. She may wear a large hat of shirred blue mull, or no hat, as preferred. When she enters, one shoe is missing. ”

“ Boy Blue wears a blue sailor blouse, blue knickerbockers, a leather belt, to which his horn is fastened by a cord, and a large haymaker’s hat, with a blue band.
Humpty Dumpty is the fattest boy obtainable. He wears a blouse and knickerbockers of red, padded well. Pad his stockings, also, and make him look as round and fat as possible. [6]
Jack Horner wears a gingham “tier” and white frill collar over his trousers in the fashion of little boys of thirty or forty years ago. His trousers come half-way to his ankles, but the tier stops at the knees. ”

“ Jack. A barrel or two; and we’re hungry. Jill. Oh, give us some pie, Mother, do!
(She clasps Mother Goose’s waist.)
Mother Goose (smoothing down her dress and putting back her hair) . Such a wild-looking child! Come now, listen to me! Spruce up now! Act pretty! There’s strangers here. See? Go sing for ’em, nice now, just so they will know You’re not wild critters, even if you do seem so. [10]
Jack ⎫ (advancing, grin, fidget a bit, look at each other and Jill ⎭ giggle, then bow elaborately, and sing. Tune: No. 2) .
No. 2. JACK AND JILL.
[Play Music]
Jack and Jill. ”

“ Baby Bunting. We hunted for some wabbits. It was a lot of fun. We catched a big wabbit for Wover, [29] And a little bwown bunny for me. I’m a-going to keep mine always, He’s cute as he can be.
Rock-a-bye Baby. Did Wover keep his bunny, too?
Baby Bunting. No, he put his paw wight on it, And ate it up! He didn’t leave Enough to make a bonnet. He ate it, bones and fur and all! He weally did, you know, And when I came away, I left him Twying to catch a cwow.
(All sing. Tune: No. 13.)
No. 13. BABY BUNTING.
[Play Music]
All. ”

“ Her hair hangs loose and tumbled, with no hair ribbon. Her feet are bare. If for any reason the bare feet are not liked, her shoes must be well worn, and her stockings torn. A torn petticoat should show a bit. [5]
Bo Peep wears a short, quilted skirt of blue, with a waist and overskirt of white, flowered with blue. The low, square neck, full elbow sleeves, and overskirt are edged with frills of the goods. The overskirt is looped up over the quilted skirt with blue ribbon bows. She has a large leghorn “flat,” trimmed with forget-me-nots or daisies, tied down, gipsy fashion, with blue ribbon. ”

“ Plays an hour and a half. A bright and graceful piece, light in character, but sympathetic and amusing. Six contrasted types of girls at boarding-school are shown in a novel story. Lots of fun, but very refined. Easy to produce and can be strongly recommended. ”

“ Then up I flings another. “I’ll pick that fruit,” says I, And kep’ on till I hit it, And down fell that ere pie. It bruk the plate, o’ course, but then I didn’t keer fer that, Fer I never did eat plates, you know, ’N the pie was big and fat. [33] Gombobble pie is awful good! I’m goin’ to find another As soon as I’ve et this all up. It’s better’n mince pie, Mother.
Mother Goose. It looks like mince pie, Si, to me. I fear it’s Jacky Horner’s.
Simon. No, ’tisn’t, Ma. He always keeps His pie around in corners.
(All sing. Tune: No. 14.)
No. 14. SIMPLE SIMON.
[Play Music]
All. ”

“ Twenty-two males and twenty females are called for, but one person may take several parts and some characters may be omitted. The stage is arranged as a country store and post-office in one. Costumes are rural and funny. Plays a full evening. ”

“ A Troublesome Flock A Mother Goose Play for Children
By ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL
BOSTON
WALTER H. BAKER & CO.1916
A Troublesome Flock
CHARACTERS
Old Mother Goose. The Old Woman that Lived in a Shoe. Old Mother Hubbard. The Bachelor’s Wife. Contrary Mary. Milk Maid. Curly Locks. Dingty Diddlety. Cross Patch. Betty Blue. Jill. Bo Peep. Miss Muffett. Rock-a-bye-Baby. Baby Bunting. Bachelor. Jack. Tommy Tucker. Georgie Porgie. Boy Blue. Humpty Dumpty. Jack Horner. Simple Simon. Tom, the Piper’s Son. Willie Winkie. ”