Alice Maude Kellogg

“ There is a story told of a magician who conjured up a garden in the winter time. The wand of the wizard, however, is not necessary to disclose even in a northern climate in the cold months the beautiful contents of Nature's world. The varieties of evergreen, pine, hemlock, fir, cedar, and larch provide a variety of green foliage through the dreary weather. The rich, clustering berries, besides their ornamental character, furnish food for the snowbirds. The Christmas rose, wax-like in its white purity, will bloom out of doors long after frost if a glass is turned over the plant on cold nights. ”

“ Frip (seating himself on arm of chair. Brownies sit on floor centre, facing him, sideface to audience) : I bellowed so—Oooooooh!!!! (groans) and tweaked their ugly noses, and whispered through the keyhole, "Wait till you guard the Christmas pie to-night!" until they all fled shivering to the cook, to give him notice! And now none will be left to guard the pie!
Brownies: 'Tis ours! 'Tis ours! (Brownies rub themselves delightedly.)
Frip: Hush! Now the kitchenmaid and cooklet come, to make all ready for his highness the head cook! We must leave them in peace until the pie is made! ”

“ John: Well, I refuse to fall in line this year. I'm tired of the whole plan. It seems absurd for an old chap to come tumbling down the fireplace and load up our stockings.
Tom: I agree with you, John! What we want is a new-fashioned Christmas. A real, up-to-date Santa Claus, and no more of this children's nonsense.
Bess: Not have Santa Claus any more? Isn't he coming to-night? (Cries.)
John: Oh yes, he'll remember you if you're a good little girl and stop crying. Dora, help Bess to fasten up her stocking.
(After the stocking is fixed, Bess faces the audience and recites.) ”

“ This baby's stocking is the biggest bicycle hose I could buy. (Pins it at one side of the chimney.) I don't think old Santa could miss it if he tried.
Dora: I made mine to suit the occasion, for I hope Santa Claus will fit a zither into it. (Displays a large, fantastically shaped stocking of striking color, and fastens it beside Charlie's.)
Harry: You ought to take a prize, Dora, for designing the most—ahem!—unexpected-looking stocking. Generous sized, too! Here goes my contribution to the chimney. (Hangs up a sock.) It's big enough to hold a coin of gold that will buy me a new bicycle. ”

“ I am sure it hurts you! Let me bind it for you (to Prince) .
Greening: Princess! how can you stoop to touch a scullion?
Sweeting: Your Highness is strangely forgetting yourself!
Princess: Nay, ladies, it is you who forget yourselves!
DUET (Princess and Prince) .
(Air, "When We Are Married."—Belle of New York.)
(The Princess binds up his wrist up stage.)
Greening (furiously to Head Cook) : How did you come to engage such a scurvy-looking fellow?
Head Cook: Of a truth, madame, I vould not have done so, madame, but my scullions have all gone, and I had none to guard ze Christmas pie to-night! ”

“ The Christmas pie!
Head Cook: Yes, madame, from ze Brownies. He has consent, now I have told him of ze pepper-pot.
Greening: The pepper-pot! You may go, fellow!
(The Cook retires up back, annoyed; bullies Kitchenmaid and Cooklet, R. Prince and Princess center, making pie. Prince helps her. Head Cook furious.)
Greening: Listen, I have an idea! That man is no scullion!
Sweeting: No scullion?
Greening: I am sure of it! See how he holds himself! How easily he talks with the Princess! I believe he is some prince who has made his way into the castle in disguise—
Sweeting: Yes, look! ”

“ She was so obliging as to lay another egg in honor of the occasion. You shall have it, Father Christmas, and may good luck go with it. (Hands egg.)
Father Christmas: Thank you, Jack. That's a present worth having! I wish my son Santa Claus had as fine a gift to put in every poor body's stocking. He is out on his rounds now, but expects to be back, as he said, "before the fun begins."
Jack: Santa's always ready for fun!
Mother Goose (taking Jack's hand, as he stands beside her) :
(Sound of voices outside.) ”

“ Hussies! Arise! You concern yourselves much too much for zis young man! I cannot sink why so much notice should be taken of a scullion! Yes! (To Prince.) 'Twere better fit I should have told your tale unto Her Highness; and if she questioned you, it was for you to bow and say, "My gr-r-racious master, ze Head Cook, vill spik for me!" In future—please—r-r-remember! (Exit, with dignity, followed by Kitchenmaid and Cooklet. The Brownies cackle with laughter outside. The stage is now dark, lit only by firelight.)
Prince: And so my lady sleeps above, and I am in the kitchen, her humblest scullion! ”

“ Brownies: We'll steal it! (Singing.)
(They dance off R. Music changes to a bright march. Enter the Kitchenmaid and Cooklet. The Kitchenmaid is a short, fat, rosy, brisk little girl. The Cooklet is a lanky, lazy, sentimental-looking girl. The Kitchenmaid carries pasteboard, with pie-disk, rolling-pin, basin of pastry, mince meat, etc., and enters staggering under her burden. The Cooklet carries a small basin with three apples and a knife, and eats apples as she peels them.) ”

“ Happy New Year:
Hope and Good Resolutions (together) : Good cheer, Mother Goose! Father Christmas, good cheer! We wish each and all of you happy New Year!
(Happy New Year and her children group themselves next to Thanksgiving. Enter Santa Claus, bustling about and shaking hands with everybody while speaking.)
Santa Claus:
Father Christmas:
(All go out, two by two, singing the following stanza to the air of "Upidee.")
All together:
Christmas Waits. ”

“ She'd find it no trouble to choose a sweetheart from those nice young men if she were allowed to see them, but she'll never do that, if her ladies have a word in the matter! (Furious talking outside.) ”

“ Dora: Don't count me in to help out your majority; Santa Claus seems to me the kindly spirit of Christmas appearing mysteriously to give us greater pleasure.
Katie: Well, I'll side with the boys this time and see if there is any improvement in holiday matters.
Charlie: You'll think me a baby to stick to the old style. I won't venture an opinion at all.
Tom: Then we are agreed that of Santa Claus we have no need.
John: } Kate: } Tis what we all concede. Harry: } Maggie: }
(All sing to the tune of "Maryland, My Maryland.") ”

“ Do you mean to say—you—vant—Me—so gr-r-r-reat—so gr-r-rand—so mightiful—Me—Chief Head Cook—you vant zat I should keep my eyes avake all night—ven I have a kitchenmaid and cooklet to suffaire for me? Is zat vat you mean, heh?
(They nod sheepishly.)
Cooklet: You're a man!
Head Cook: Me—a man! Vat nonsense! I am cook! You have ze most enormous cheek I've ever hit upon! Bah! (Hits them with rolling-pin.) Get up—you cr-r-r-rawling caterpillars! (Knock at the door; they scream.) Vat! ”