Elizabeth Gaskell

“ Mrs. Hamley lay down; she had not been well all day—she had missed Molly, she said,—and now she wanted to hear of all the adventures that had occurred to the girl at the Towers. Molly sate on a stool close to the head of the sofa, and Roger, though at first he took up a book and tried to read that he might be no restraint, soon found his reading all a pretence: it was so interesting to listen to Molly's little narrative, and, besides, if he could give her any help in her time of need, was it not his duty to make himself acquainted with all the circumstances of her case? ”

“ Kirkpatrick, softly lifting one of Molly's curls from off her white temple.
'Papa's hair is growing grey,' said Molly.
'Is it? I never see it. I never shall see it. He will always be to me the handsomest of men.'
Mr. Gibson was really a very handsome man, and Molly was pleased with the compliment; but she could not help saying,—
'Still he will grow old, and his hair will grow grey. I think he will be just as handsome, but it won't be as a young man.'
'Ah! that's just it, love. He'll always be handsome; some people always are. ”

“ But of course he must know his own affairs best.'
'Certainly, my lady,' replied Molly, a little touchy as to any reflections on her father's wisdom.
'You say "certainly!" as if it was a matter of course that every one should know their own affairs best. You are very young, Miss Gibson— very. You'll know better before you come to my age. And I suppose you've been taught music, and the use of the globes, and French, and all the usual accomplishments, since you have had a governess? I never heard of such nonsense!' she went on, lashing herself up. 'An only daughter! ”

“ Punctuality! Yes; it's a great thing in a household. It's what I've had to enforce with my young ladies at Ashcombe. No wonder poor dear Mr. Gibson has been displeased at his dinner not being ready, and he so hard-worked!'
'Papa doesn't care what he has, if it's only ready. He would take bread-and-cheese, if cook would only send it in instead of dinner.'
'Bread-and-cheese! Does Mr. Gibson eat cheese?'
'Yes; he's very fond of it,' said Molly, innocently. 'I've known him eat toasted cheese when he has been too tired to fancy anything else.'
'Oh! but, my dear, we must change all that. ”

“ Molly very heartily hoped that she might never be known any better by the stern-looking lady who sate so uprightly in the easy chair, prepared for lounging, and which therefore gave all the more effect to the stiff attitude. Lady Cumnor luckily took Molly's silence for acquiescent humility, and went on speaking after a further little pause of inspection.
'Yes, yes, I like her looks, Clare. You may make something of her. It will be a great advantage to you, my dear, to have a lady who has trained up several young people of quality always about you just at the time when you are growing up. ”

“ Kirkpatrick into the morning-room, where Lady Cumnor was sitting—a little annoyed, because, having completed her toilette earlier than usual, Clare had not been aware by instinct of the fact, and so had not brought Molly Gibson for inspection a quarter of an hour before. Every small occurrence is an event in the day of a convalescent invalid, and a little while ago Molly would have met with patronizing appreciation, where now she had to encounter criticism. ”

“ Gibson's proposal that Molly and Cynthia should be the two bridesmaids, she had felt how disagreeable it would be to her to have her young daughter flashing out her beauty by the side of the faded bride, her mother; and as the further arrangements for the wedding became more definite, she saw further reasons in her own mind for Cynthia's remaining quietly at her school at Boulogne.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick had gone to bed that first night of her engagement to Mr. Gibson, fully anticipating a speedy marriage. ”

“ She says she was advising you to have Molly as a visitor at Ashcombe until we are married.'
Mrs. Kirkpatrick's countenance fell. If only Molly would be so good as to testify again, as she had done before Lady Cumnor! But if the proposal was made by her father, it would come to his daughter from a different quarter than it had done from a strange lady, be she ever so great. Molly did not say anything; she only looked pale, and wistful, and anxious. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had to speak for herself.
'It would be a charming plan, only—Well! we know why we would rather not have it, don't we, love? ”

“ She only hoped she could run upstairs to her own room without notice, and bathe her eyes in cold water before she was seen. But at the hall-door she was caught by the squire and Roger coming in from an after-dinner stroll in the garden, and hospitably anxious to help her to alight. Roger saw the state of things in an instant, and saying,—
'My mother has been looking for you to come back for this last hour,' he led the way to the drawing-room. But Mrs. Hamley was not there; the squire had stopped to speak to the coachman about one of the horses; they two were alone. ”

“ I might as well never have lived. And as for the happiness you speak of, I shall never be happy again.'
There was an unconscious depth in what she said, that Roger did not know how to answer at the moment; it was easier to address himself to the assertion of the girl of seventeen, that she should never be happy again.
'Nonsense: perhaps in ten years' time you will be looking back on this trial as a very light one—who knows?'
'I daresay it seems foolish; perhaps all our earthly trials will appear foolish to us after a while; perhaps they seem so now to angels. ”

“ I can't bear to think of your long rides in November—coming home wet at night with no one to take care of you. Oh! if you leave it to me, I shall advise the parents to take their daughters away from the care of one whose heart will be absent. Though I couldn't consent to any time before Michaelmas—that wouldn't be fair or right, and I'm sure you wouldn't urge me—you are too good.'
'Well, if you think that they will consider we have acted uprightly by them, let it be Michaelmas with all my heart. ”

“ Kirkpatrick or Molly wished the most for the day to be over which they were to spend together at the Towers. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was rather weary of girls as a class. All the trials of her life were connected with girls in some way. She was very young when she first became a governess, and had been worsted in her struggles with her pupils, in the first place she ever went to. ”

“ Thinking more of others' happiness than of her own was very fine; but did it not mean giving up her very individuality, quenching all the warm love, the keen desires, that made her herself? Yet in this deadness lay her only comfort; or so it seemed. ”

“ Kirkpatrick's plans, when the next morning at breakfast Lady Cumnor began to decide upon the arrangements and duties of the two middle-aged lovers.
'Of course you can't give up your school all at once, Clare. The wedding can't be before Christmas, but that will do very well. We shall all be down at the Towers; and it will be a nice amusement for the children to go over to Ashcombe, and see you married.'
'I think—I am afraid—I don't believe Mr. Gibson will like waiting so long; men are so impatient under these circumstances.'
'Oh, nonsense! ”

“ But they do not, for there is always the unknown quantity of individual experience and feeling, which offer a tacit resistance, the amount incalculable by another, to all good counsel and high decree. ”

“ 'I did try to remember what you said, and to think more of others, but it is so difficult sometimes; ”

“ Come to a clear understanding with each other; it will be for your happiness in the long run.'
So they did come to a clear understanding about one or two things. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick's dismay, she found that Mr. Gibson had no more idea than Lady Cumnor of her breaking faith with the parents of her pupils. Though he really was at a serious loss as to what was to become of Molly until she could be under the protection of his new wife at her own home, and though his domestic worries teased him more and more every day, he was too honourable to think of persuading Mrs. ”

“ It was his general plan to repress emotion by not showing the sympathy he felt. ”