G. E. Farrow

“ Mehetable Murchison. These members of my household were duly presented to the Wallypug. Mrs. Putchy made her curtsey with great dignity, but General Mary Jane was so overcome at the thought of being presented to royalty that she fell flat on her hands and knees in her humility, while Mrs. Mehetable Murchison, realizing, no doubt, the truth of the old saying that “a cat may look at a king,” went up and sharpened her claws on the Wallypug’s legs in the most friendly manner possible. ”

“ Slowly the mighty procession, with its innumerable squadrons and bands passed, and at last, after the English and Foreign princes and Eastern potentates, the eight cream-coloured Hanoverian horses, drawing the Jubilee landau, made their appearance, and the Queen was seen, smiling and bowing graciously to the cheering populace. The Doctor-in-Law, in his excitement, scrambled on to the window ledge in order to obtain a better view; the Wallypug loyally waved his crown ”

“ Fourth Edition.
‘Here we find romance—real, breathing, living romance, but it runs flush with our own times, level with our own feelings. The character of Valmond is drawn unerringly; his career, brief as it is, is placed before us as convincingly as history itself. The book must be read, we may say re-read, for any one thoroughly to appreciate Mr. Parker’s delicate touch and innate sympathy with humanity.’—Pall Mall Gazette. ”

“ On our way there, the Rhymester, being very much afraid of getting his clothes wet, sat in the furthest corner of the cab and amused himself by writing a verse on the subject of his Majesty’s misfortune, which read somehow like this:
“King George I’ve heard is King of Greece,
But since this luckless slipping,
The Wallypug I do declare
Should be the King of Dripping.” ”

“ The stupid people had mistaken me for a lunatic, and I was no doubt to be locked up here till a doctor arrived.
Of course the only thing for me to do was to sit still and wait as patiently as I could. Fortunately the police people thought of telegraphing to the other stations to find out if anything was known of an escaped lunatic; and from Fulham came the reply, “We have found one ourselves. He calls himself a Wallypug, and is dressed like a second-hand king.” ”

“ The funniest part of it all was, we kept coming to ‘Holman’s Mustard’ over and over again. I can’t think how on earth the people know when to get out.”
“Why, those weren’t the names of the stations at all,” laughed Boy. “They were advertisements!”
“Well, where were the names of the stations then?” demanded his Majesty.
“Why, in big letters on the walls of course,” was the reply.
“They couldn’t have been much bigger than those of ‘Holman’s Mustard,’” persisted the Wallypug somewhat ungrammatically.
“Never mind about that; get on with your story,” remarked the Doctor-in-Law impatiently. ”

“ THE PENNYCOMEQUICKS. Third Edition.
DARTMOOR IDYLLS.
‘A book to read, and keep and read again; for the genuine fun and pathos of it will not early lose their effect.’—Vanity Fair.
GUAVAS THE TINNER. Illustrated by Frank Dadd. Second Edition.
‘Mr. Baring Gould is a wizard who transports us into a region of visions, often lurid and disquieting, but always full of interest and enchantment.’—Spectator.
‘In the weirdness of the story, in the faithfulness with which the characters are depicted, and in force of style, it closely resembles “Mehalah.”’—Daily Telegraph. ”

“ Well, really I don’t know. I have an idea though that Mrs. Putchy does not allow followers.”
“Then I shall considerize my prospectuousness with great hopefulosity!” remarked the soldier with considerable dignity, walking back to the Wallypug’s chair.
“What does he say?” asked the Jubilee Rhymester. “He is a little bit cracked, you know. Could you make out what he was driving at?”
“Oh, yes, I could understand within a little what he meant,” I replied. “He seems to have fallen in love with General Mary Jane at first sight, from what I can gather.” ”

“ Baring Gould writes is well worth reading, is a conclusion that may be very generally accepted. His views of life are fresh and vigorous, his language pointed and characteristic, the incidents of which he makes use are striking and original, his characters are life-like, and though somewhat exceptional people, are drawn and coloured with artistic force. ”

“ And really the little man carried it off with such gaiety, that entering into the spirit of the thing the guests really did as he suggested, and went out and ordered the things, and afterwards came back, and, amidst great laughter and fun, the tables were laid, every one doing some share of the work, with the exception of the Doctor-in-Law, who contented himself with directing the others and chatting to the ladies. ”

“ I met with considerable opposition from the show people in my endeavours to persuade my guests to come home, as they had evidently been a source of considerable profit to them, though the man with the cocoa-nut shies declared that the Doctor-in-Law had claimed a great many more nuts than he was properly entitled to.
The crowd made quite a demonstration when we departed in a four-wheeler, and the Rhymester evidently considered it a compliment that the contents of so many “ladies’ tormentors,” as the little tubes filled with water are called, were directed at him. ”

“ The Doctor-in-Law’s curiosity had so far overcome his ill-humour that, when he saw us talking to the boy, he came forward and offered to help the Wallypug to mount.
“I really don’t think he had better,” I said, “he might damage the machine.”
“Oh no, he won’t hurt it, I’m sure,” said the boy generously; and so with our united assistance the Wallypug got on to the bicycle, [Pg 22] and after a few preliminary wobblings started off in fine style. Faster and faster he went, clinging desperately to the handle-bars, till we, who were running beside him, could no longer keep pace with him. ”

“ Putchy came to the door.
“Oh, please, sir, will you go down? Mr. Doctor-in-Law is having such a bother with the postman.”
I hurried out, and found the little man very angry indeed.
“This postman won’t give me a letter,” he cried when he saw me.
“Perhaps he hasn’t one for you,” I answered.
“But I saw him giving them away all down the street for nothing,” persisted the Doctor-in-Law. “And when I asked him in a civil way for one, he refused to give it to me. It’s no use for him to say he hasn’t one, when he has a whole packet in his hand now, and a [Pg 57] lot more in his bag, no doubt. ”

“ The Doctor-in-Law was always so spick and span that we scarcely noticed any change in his appearance, but the Rhymester had made arrangements with [Pg 84] General Mary Jane to wash, starch, and iron his lace collar, and he remained in his room one entire day while it was being done up. A. Fish, Esq., purchased a necktie of most brilliant colouring, and One-and-Nine touched himself up here and there with some red enamel where his tunic had become shabby in places, so that altogether our party looked very smart as we drove at a very early hour to our seats in Piccadilly. ”

“ NOÉMI: A Romance of the Cave-Dwellers. Illustrated by R. Caton Woodville. Third Edition.
‘“Noémi” is as excellent a tale of fighting and adventure as one may wish to meet. The narrative also runs clear and sharp as the Loire itself.’—Pall Mall Gazette.
‘Mr. Baring Gould’s powerful story is full of the strong lights and shadows and vivid colouring to which he has accustomed us.’—Standard. ”

“ The author’s method is amazingly effective, and produces a thrilling sense of reality. The writer lays upon us a master hand. The book is simply appalling and irresistible in its interest. It is humorous also; without humour it would not make the mark it is certain to make.’—World.
Arthur Morrison. A CHILD OF THE JAGO. By Arthur Morrison. Third Edition. Crown 8vo. 6s.
This, the first long story which Mr. Morrison has written, is like his remarkable ‘Tales of Mean Streets,’ a realistic study of East End life.
‘The book is a masterpiece.’—Pall Mall Gazette. ”

“ When the Wallypug had picked himself up from the bottom of the boat, however, and the Rhymester and he made another attempt, I think we should have got along fairly well if the Doctor-in-Law, in trying to get out of the way of a passing boat, had not steered us into the bank, where we stuck fast in the mud till someone on the footpath very kindly pushed us off again. ”

“ Parker has done it with great skill and delicacy. The reader who is not interested in this original, fresh, and well-told tale must be a dull person indeed.’—Daily Chronicle.
THE TRAIL OF THE SWORD. Fifth Edition.
‘Everybody with a soul for romance will thoroughly enjoy “The Trail of the Sword.”’—St. James’s Gazette.
‘A rousing and dramatic tale. A book like this, in which swords flash, great surprises are undertaken, and daring deeds done, in which men and women live and love in the old straightforward passionate way, is a joy inexpressible to the reviewer.’—Daily Chronicle. ”

“ I exclaimed in alarm, “I don’t think my housekeeper could possibly—”
“Why not ask her?” suggested the Doctor-in-Law, touching the bell.
A moment or two afterwards a knock at the door announced that Mrs. Putchy was there.
“Oh, Mrs. Putchy,” I said, stepping just [Pg 10] outside, “these gentlemen, er—that is to say, his Majesty the Wallypug of Why and suite, have honoured me with a visit, and I am anxious if possible to offer them such hospitality as my poor home affords. Do you think that we could manage anyhow to find room for them, for a few days at any rate?” ”

“ After going once round the Park we went [Pg 31] out at the Marble Arch and along Oxford Street to Holborn, our progress through the crowded streets everywhere attracting the most excited interest. And when we stopped before one of the large bicycle depôts in Holborn the crowd around the carriage was so large that the policeman had quite a difficulty in preventing a block in the traffic. Our business was soon transacted, and, having secured an excellent machine for the boy in place of the one which his Majesty had damaged in the morning, we drove back to Kensington without further adventure. ”

“ You like to have your own way when you can get it, and when you can’t you get very cross and irritable. You are not so young as you were a few years ago, and you dislike pain of any kind. You will remain single until you marry, and whichever you do you will probably wish you hadn’t.”
The greatest novelty, however, which the Doctor-in-Law introduced in his new magazine was his system of telling your character by your watch and chain. ”

“ James’s Gazette.
‘A story of adventure, every page of which is palpitating with action and excitement.’—Speaker.
‘From cover to cover “Phroso” not only engages the attention, but carries the reader in little whirls of delight from adventure to adventure.’—Academy.
S. Baring Gould’s Novels
Crown 8vo. 6s. each.
‘To say that a book is by the author of “Mehalah” is to imply that it contains a story cast on strong lines, containing dramatic possibilities, vivid and sympathetic descriptions of Nature, and a wealth of ingenious imagery.’—Speaker. ”

“ And the poor dumb creatures themselves are always so ready to respond to any little act of kindness, and are so grateful and affectionate, that I am sure it adds greatly to one’s happiness in life to interest oneself in them. ”