H. B. Marriott Watson

“ For in the midst of his reminiscences of the hanging of Captain Crayes, I dashed my glass down hastily with my manacled hands.
“The Devil take us!” I cried, “but here we are guzzling verjuice when we should be floating an occasion in good liquor.”
The Ordinary looked at me, drunkenly. “True,” he said. “You have not treated me well, Ryder. The wine is damned bad, as I live.”
“And the more fool I,” says I, “when there is a gross of generous burgundy a-waiting for me in the cellars of the ‘Bull’s Head,’ in the trust of Mr Shackleton.” ”

“ What is man but as the grass that to-day is and to-morrow is burned in the oven? Yea, what is he, but as the flame of a candle that is blown out with a breath? And I will put it thus unto you, for your surer edification. Firstly, there is the sin of Lasciviousness, the which deserves reprobation. Verily it has its reward. Secondly, to divide our discourse into heads, there is the sin of Drunkenness. The drunkard shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Mark that, ye that look upon the wine when it is red. ”

“ The Devil has hardened your heart, as he hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and of old Clinch, that was hanged in chains at Hampstead in 1673. He was a rare one was Clinch; a prettier hand at a job I never met. I have known him to take two thousand guineas in a day between here and Portsmouth.”
“I ha’ done better myself,” says I, for I was tired of this laudation of parties like Clinch and Starbottle; “I have took ten thousand in an hour or so.”
The Ordinary turns his eyes on me. “For the which you have lost your immortal soul,” he said solemnly. “Bethink you, Ryder, how little a thing is life. ”

“ And this was the last flutter the rags of his calling made, for when the wine was fetched, he sat down to it with a relish, and grew garrulous, as was his wont. “’Tis a pity, Ryder,” says he meditatively, and cocking an eye at his glass, “to see a handsome rogue such as you be predestined to a cruel end. I have seen many go to the Tree with few compunctions, and even with a sigh of content to be quit of their dirty company. But you, in a manner, warm my heart. ’Tis grievous that you should fall upon so evil a fate, and you with such a fine buxom career before you. ”

“ As it was, all I did was of a sudden to go down upon my knees and plead for his pardon. The turnkeys grinned, and the same fellow was for lifting me up with his foot, when in comes the Ordinary, looking the most dismal ruffian you can imagine in the three kingdoms, but his eyes very determined and business-like.
“Hold, Roper,” says he, sharply; “you would forget yourself;” and then to me, “I am glad, Ryder, to perceive that you are come to a resigned and dutiful spirit on this day of reckoning.” ”

“ For they that have the blood of their fellow-creatures upon them, how shall they escape the damnation of Hell?” and he regarded me complacently.
He was a tall, thin fellow, with an ancient wig that sat awry upon him, and a face blotched and bubuckled with drinking. His arms and shanks were long and bony, and seemed ever in his way, so that you took the impression that he had more than his share of them; he looked for all the world like a dragon-fly in liquor. He stretched his ungainly carcase on the floor, and doubling up his knees, snuffed with a satisfied air. ”

“ With this delight is entertained a strong repulsion, very antagonistic. My belly has retched at the sight of the Triple Beam, which all the while my eyes devoured with appetite. Explain that for me, Ryder, an’ you may.”
“Rot me,” said I with a laugh, “but ’tis a cheerful conversation you would pursue. Damn the topsman, and here’s to a merry meeting!”
The Ordinary lifted his glass and drank. “I like you, Ryder,” he said, with enthusiasm. “There is nothing mealy-mouthed about you. You make a rare companion to a bottle. The age of drinkers is gone out ”

“ But there was plenty against me without that, and first of all up comes the affair at Petersfield, with which Grubbe was well acquainted. And as if that were not enough, they had furbished up a paltry business on Hampstead Heath, in the which I was under the necessity to quiet a noisy fellow with my barker. This, it turns out, if you please, was no less a personage than a Sheriff of the City. And after that the document wound up with the officer that I had cut down in the Highway; as if the killing of a catchpoll, good Lord, made any difference among respectable people! ”

“ I says, “I’ll join you there.”
“That’s well,” he says. “Friends should not quarrel, specially as their fellowship must be so soon determined,” and smacked his lips. “Lord, Ryder,” says he, gazing at the ceiling, “you’re but a young hand, smart for your age, no doubt, but lacking the master’s cunning. There was that job at Petersfield, now—Clinch would never have undertook that, nor Starbottle neither. ”

“ A great roar broke from the assembly, but the ranks gave way upon the Soho side, as I ran through full tilt. “Bravo, Dick!” cries someone, and with that a shout goes up, and ’twas “Bravo, Dick!” all round. Shackleton’s lads carved out a lane for me smartly enough, and ere the escort could pierce the crowd I was through the “Pack Horse” and out upon a private back-alley, as I knew, in the twinkling of an eye. ”

“ He pursued these silly lies so long and with such satisfaction that I could endure him no further.
“Gag that fat fool,” says I, “for an’ the topsman must have me he may have me and welcome, but I’ll meet him after my own fashion, and not with the character of a poltroon.” ”

“ The Law has no queasy stomach, and will undertake a scurvy job with any; but indeed there was no suspicion upon Polly, and the charge upon which they took her was, if you please, the possession of certain gold guineas with His Majesty’s viznomy upon them. These, they would make out, were a parcel of the King’s treasure, the which I had snatched out of Timothy’s own fingers by Dartford. I knew it was odds but the message was a snare for my feet, for all that I questioned the crimp so closely ”