Hermann Sudermann

“ Like a palace of dazzling marble the White House, with its balconies and gables, rose before his eyes. Deep silence enshrouded the manor-house; only here and there a dog barked and relapsed into silence directly.
He stood before the trellised gate, not knowing how he had come there. He grasped the bars with both hands and looked in. The wide yard lay yonder before him, bathed in the light of the moon; the big farm-wagons, which were ranged in a row before the stables, stood there in black outline; a white cat crept along the garden fence; everything else lay in deep sleep. ”

“ Then suddenly I hear somebody whistling in the garden, so beautifully, so plaintively, as I have only once heard it in my life, and that a long time ago. ‘That can only be Paul,’ I say to myself, and the more I listen the clearer it is to me. ‘But how does he come here?’ I ask myself, and as I want above all things to make certain, I put on my cloak and creep down—so—here I am now, and now come, let us go into the wood; there no one can see us. ”

“ How silent it was now in the quiet Haidehof. The father could hobble about the house and garden on a crutch, but he had grown much too lazy to wield the sceptre again. Paul did not know what else to do for him, except to have his favorite dishes cooked, not to measure his rations of ginger and aniseed too sparingly, and to present him each Christmas with a new almanac. The old man might have been well satisfied with this, for indeed he needed nothing more—he had even grown too heavy to drive to the town; but the better his body throve the more imbittered and exasperated grew his mind. ”

“ Every bush, every small tree seemed alive, and out of the darkness came low, amorous tittering.
Shyly, like a criminal, Paul slunk round the festive scene. A fear of strangers had always been his peculiarity, but never yet had his heart fluttered so anxiously as at this moment.
“Is Elsbeth there?” Nowhere in all the crowd were there any traces of the inmates of the White House, but then his family also seemed to have disappeared without leaving any trace. Once he thought the cooing laughter of the twins caught his ear, but the next moment the noise had drowned it. ”

“ Paul was quite clear about what he was doing. He had heard that the Erdmanns let no festivity pass without going thither to be merry as wildly as possible.
“I shall know how to meet them,” he said to himself; “the night is a dark and the heath lonely. They will look into my face and the face of death under God’s open sky.”
Two days after his last visit to Lotkeim he had driven to the town and bought a revolver; a beautiful six-shooter, one with a long slender barrel. Like a wild animal he lurked about at night in the bushes and hidden paths of the heath when he thought they would pass. ”

“ But there are the flames No. Perhaps in another second the fiery glow will rise to the sky.
“Elsbeth, awake’”
It will flame up as it did then, eight years ago, when the blood red reflection paralyzed all his faculties, as he roamed in the garden of Helenenthal. If to day, as at that time, a fire were to rise on the heath, or that his father’s hand might be stiffened in the midst of his criminal purpose.
Oh, God in Heaven, let a miracle happen! Let a fire break out on the heath, as it happened before—as happened before.
There must be a fire! And there must be a fire here! ”

“ Beside thy bed thy mother mild Watches till dreams shall bring thee peace—Sleep on! “The little bell whose tones so clear From out the wood resounded here Its silver music soon will cease— Sleep on! “Dear child, sleep on; sleep on, dear child! Without the moon shines soft and bright, A legend tell the linden-trees— Sleep on! “About the heath the shepherd’s son, The princess in the White House lone; While leaves are flutt’ring in the breeze— Sleep on! “Dear child, sleep on; sleep on, dear child! Thy rose-bush at the door dreams wild Of heath and hill and many things— Sleep on! ”

“ The women slowly went into the house; only Elsbeth lingered.
“Won’t you come in, too?” he asked.
“My poor dear Paul,” she said, and seized his hand.
He shut his eyes and staggered back two steps.
“Do come,” he said, mastering himself again; “look at her, she has always loved you so much.”
“Paul, my son, where are you?” sounded his father’s voice from the interior of the house.
“Paul,” she said, hesitating, with rising tears, “you must not despair; there are still others who—love you.” ”

“ With poverty all around him, the master of the house lay in the cart, groaning and scolding; his wife was enthroned above him, pale and wretched and harassed, as if she were the genius of this ruin. The ever-blooming youth, which even thrives on rubbish, laughed from two roguish pairs of eyes in between, and in front, as driver of this wretched vehicle, sat Paul, and looked sadly before him, for he was ashamed that he could offer no better conveyance to his dear ones, whom for the first time he took out for a long drive all together. ”

“ The oppressive atmosphere and the noise had overwhelmed his senses, and the tones of the flute grew harsh and unmelodious, so that they hurt his ears.
In the midst of the yelling and stamping people sat a ragged fellow on an upturned cask; he had a bloated, pimply face, a brandy-nose, and black, greasy hair—a figure, the sight of which made Paul shudder. It was he who had played the flute. ”

“ He drove across the grass-grown yard, on which high thorn-bushes were blooming, and which was flanked by big, though much-neglected, farm-buildings, and stopped before the house, the shutters of which were painted in black and white circles, probably because they were sometimes used for targets.
“It is no honor to marry one’s sisters here; but they can no longer lay claim to much honor,” he thought, tying his horse to the entrance rail, for no human soul was to be seen who could have taken the reins; only from a distant shed came the measured sound of the flails. ”

“ Creaking and rattling, the locomobile came staggering out into the yard. Behind her and those who had saved her the roof of the shed fell in.
The morning dawned. The gray twilight intermingled with the smoke of the ruins, from which here and there flames sprang up to sink down again immediately exhausted.
The crowd had dispersed. Leaden silence weighed upon the farm; only from the scene of the fire there came a soft creaking and hissing, as if the flames, before subsiding, were holding once more murmuring intercourse.
“So,” said Paul, “that is done.” ”

“ She has plenty of people to console her; there is merry Leo, with whom she is said to have a secret love-affair; let him show all his wiles now!” He laughed aloud and scornfully, and as soon as he had made sure that the Erdmanns could not escape him if he waited for them at the road-side, he left the room.
As he drove on in the silence of the moon-lit winter night his soul grew calmer and calmer, and when he saw across the silvery heath the White House gradually rising before him like a monument of marble, he began to weep bitterly. ”

“ Dull, and without interest, Paul lived from one day to the next. His whole inner being was sacrificed to the commonplace cares about property and money, yet without his ever experiencing any joy at the success he attained. There was no longer anybody whom he could make happy, and he worked on without knowing why—as a cart-horse in the traces moves forward, ignorant of what the plough does, which it drags through the briers. Months sometimes passed without his taking one retrospective glance at his soul. ”

“ He paused, and sadly contemplated the flute, the keys of which dimly shone in the dusk.
“If I were such a one,” he continued, after a while, “I should have become a celebrated musician. I know very well there are many melodies in my brain which no one else has ever whistled; and when I had attained my end I should have married Elsbeth—and father would have been rich, and mother happy; but now mother is dead—father is a poor cripple—Elsbeth will take another—and I stand here looking at the flute and can’t play on it.” ”

“ It began already to grow dusk as he walked across the sweet-scented heather. His heart was weighed down with secret fear. He did not dare to think out the cause, but as he walked past the juniper-bush, beneath which he once had whistled his most beautiful song to Elsbeth, a pain shot through his breast as if he had been stabbed.
He stopped and reconsidered whether it would not be better to turn back. “My coat is much too shabby,” he said to himself; “I can’t show myself in any decent society.” ”

“ At dusk Paul came home, black as a nigger, for the peat-dust, which the wind had been blowing about, had settled on his beard and face.
He mutely shook hands with his sisters, looked sharply into their eyes, and said, “You shall tell me all about it afterwards.”
Greta looked at Kate, and Kate looked at Greta; then they suddenly laughed aloud, and, seizing him by both shoulders, danced about the room with him.
“You will make yourselves black, children,” he said. ”

“ He also looked back anxiously from time to time, to see whether the two Erdmanns were lurking anywhere with their mocking remarks. But when they went through the open fields it was quite natural that they should walk side by side.
It was a sunny forenoon in June. The white sand on the road glittered; round about golden hawkweed was blooming and meadowsweet waved in the warm wind; the midday bell sounded from the village; no human creature was to be seen far and wide; the heath seemed quite deserted.
Elsbeth wore a wide-brimmed straw-hat on her head as a protection against the sun’s rays. ”

“ He thought himself a greater man than ever to-day—a hero and a martyr at the same time.
The door opened, and Douglas appeared with Elsbeth on the threshold. Meyerhofer cast a poisonous glance at him and laughed scornfully to himself. Douglas did not heed him, but sat down in the opposite corner, drawing Elsbeth to him. She looked pale and worn, and had a shy, timid manner, that might arise from her strange, unaccustomed surroundings.
She nodded with a slight smile to Paul’s mother and sisters, and looked at him with a meditative glance, which seemed to ask something. ”

“ Ulrich started from sleep, and when he saw the dark figure of Paul, with the revolver in his hand, standing close behind him, he began to cry out loud and piteously. The other one woke up as well, and both stretched out their arms in pitiful entreaty.
“What do you mean to do to us?” cried the one,
“Do not murder us!” cried the other.
“Put away your revolver. Have pity on us—have pity!” They clasped their hands, and would have fallen on their knees had not the fur rugs prevented them. ”

“ How could he ever have dared to compare himself to this man that, to a hair, was the ideal man of whom he had always dreamed?
Bold and energetic and triumphant (that’s what he had meant to be one day) , exactly like the strange young man who looked at Elsbeth with his frivolous smile. He also wore patent-leather boots and a fashionable colored necktie, and his suit was made of the finest shining black cloth.
Almost for an hour Paul stood there without daring to move from his position, devouring Elsbeth and her vis-à-vis with his eyes. ”

“ Of course it was not nice when we had to leave Helenenthal, and when I saw the room lit up blood-red by the burning barn, it gave me a bad enough fright, but, on the whole, life has treated me tolerably well. I have reared all you children, I have not lost one by death-we have always had food and drink, too. Father has sometimes grumbled, it is true, but that is always the case in married life; you will find it so yourself some day. You children have always loved me. You boys have grown up able men, and the girls will be able women, if God wills it, and you keep your eye upon them. ”

“ The servants had gone to the fields to milk—no human being was to be seen far and wide. The ducks in their pool had put their heads under their wings, and the kennel-dog snapped sleepily at the flies.
Paul seated himself on the garden fence and gazed towards the wood, at the edge of which gay light dresses flitted to and fro, while now and then there was a bright glitter, when the sunbeams were reflected in the harness of the waiting carriage-horses. ”

“ Fritz added.
Paul gazed fixedly from one to the other.
How was it possible that those who had so covered themselves with shame could stand before him so proud and impudent, while he, who only came to ask for his rights, trembled and shook like a criminal!
“And if you go home without any consolation!” cried an anxious voice within him. “Do not make them angry; remember what you have vowed to your mother! There must be no question of yourself.”
“Well, will you drink or won’t you?” Ulrich called out, angrily. ”

“ But he put on a warm coat, took his cap, and walked out into the dusk.
“You must lock the gates to-night,” he said, before he left the yard, for he had a dull presentiment that he would only come home late at night, were it only for the sake of roaming about in the snow.
The white heath lay silent. Deep under the snow lay the withered flowers, and where a juniper-bush had stood before there was now a little white heap that looked like a mole-hill. Even the stems of the pollard willows were white, but only on the side against which the wind had blown. ”

“ You see, for five years I have been sick-nurse; there are many sad hours, and when the night-light burns, and one’s eyes hurt with watching so much, and outside the storm rattles the shutters, many thoughts come to one about life and death, about love and loneliness—well, in short, one makes a book of poetry in one’s own head and does not read other people’s any more. ”

“ A newly-built shed with its white walls looked dazzling in the sunshine, and all round about the long black rows of compressed peat were to be seen. The blocks were hard and heavy, with little fibre and much coal. They easily beat all competition and had a good reputation as far as Koenigsberg.
Paul, who on his business journeys mixed much with strange people, now also enjoyed the happiness of being greeted as a man of consequence, and of being treated by the worthy land-owners as their equal. ”

“ Frau Elsbeth had bent her head on the stranger’s shoulder, as if that was the most natural thing in the world, and went on softly crying to herself.
“And perhaps I can also be of use to you,” she continued; “at least, so far as I can take part of the bitterness from your soul. We women understand each other better than those hard, passionate men. The common sufferings that weigh on all of us bring us nearer to each other. ”

“ Paul himself had never expected anything else. He considered himself as a creature totally subordinate compared to his brothers, and had long since given up trying ever to be like them. When they came home for their holidays—velvet caps on their wavy hair, many-colored ribbons on their breasts, for they belonged to some forbidden school corporation—he looked up to them as to beings from a higher world. Eagerly he listened when they began to talk to each other about Sallust and Cicero, and the tragedies of Aeschylus—and they liked to speak about them a great deal, if only to impress him. ”

“ What are all those merry people, who laugh and want to please each other, and live thoughtlessly from one day to another—what are all those to you? You were a fool, a miserable fool, when you thought that you had a right to be merry; that you, too, could be what they are.”
The ground burned under his feet. He felt as if he were committing a sin by remaining a minute longer in this place.
He slipped out into the hall, where his cap hung.
“Tell my sisters,” he said to the servant who was waiting there, “that I am going home to order a carriage for them.” ”