Howard Roger Garis

“ Uncle Wiggily ate some cabbage pancakes with carrot maple sugar sprinkled over them, and then as he wiped his whiskers on his red tongue, which he used for a napkin, and as he twinkled his pink nose to see if it was all right, Nurse Jane said:
“Yesterday, Uncle Wiggily, you told me you would like me to make some lettuce cakes to-day; did you not?”
“I did,” answered Uncle Wiggily, sort of slow and solemn like. “But what is the matter, Nurse Jane? I hope you are not going to tell me that you cannot, or will not, make those lettuce cakes.” ”

“ UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE PUSSIES Uncle Wiggily Longears, the kind old rabbit gentleman, was hopping along in the woods in front of his hollow-stump bungalow one morning, and, every now and then, he would stoop over and look at the ground.
“What are you doing, Wiggy, if I may ask?” inquired Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy, the muskrat lady, who kept the bungalow nice and neat for the bunny uncle.
“You may ask, and I will tell you,” politely answered Mr. Longears. “I am looking to see if any flowers are growing in the woods.”
“What! Flowers growing this time of year?” cried Miss Fuzzy Wuzzy. ”

“ Uncle Wiggily smiled, but said nothing.
“I met a man with a load of bricks, and I begged some of them to build my house,” said Twisty-Tail. “No wolf can get me. No, sir-ee! I’ll build my house very strong, not weak like my brothers’. No, indeed!”
“I’ll help you build your house,” offered Uncle Wiggily, kindly, and just as he and Twisty-Tail finished the brick house and put on the roof it began to rain and freeze.
“We are through just in time,” said Twisty-Tail, as he and the rabbit gentleman hurried inside. “I don’t believe the wolf will come out in such weather.” ”

“ At last Uncle Wiggily caught his hat, but, as he was putting it down hard over his ears, along came another puff of wind, and this time blew away his red, white and blue-striped crutch.
“Oh, dear!” cried the bunny uncle. “What a lot of trouble I’m having to-day! I don’t believe any one has as much trouble as I.”
Uncle Wiggily hopped after his crutch, and caught it just as it was about ready to be blown into a bramble briar bush. ”

“ I wonder what happened to him to make him so bent, and I wonder what he has lost?” for the crooked, twisted man was turning his pockets inside out, and even his pockets were curled around like a corkscrew.
“Oh, such trouble as I am in!” cried the man. “Oh, dear!”
“Ha, trouble! That means here is a chance for me to help,” said the bunny uncle. “Excuse me,” he said, “but who are you, and can I do anything to help you?”
“Ha! Uncle Wiggily Longears! I know you by your pictures!” said the man. “Don’t you know me? I’m in the book that Mother Goose wrote. ”

“ What?” asked the rabbit gentleman. “I guess I have forgotten the story.”
“Well, after I build my house of straw, just as it says in the Mother Goose story book, along comes a bad old wolf, and he blows it down,” said the first little pig.
“Oh, how dreadful!” cried Uncle Wiggily, “but maybe he won’t come to-day.”
“Oh, yes, he will,” said the first little pig. “It’s that way in the book, and the wolf has to come.”
“Well, if he does,” said Uncle Wiggily, “maybe I can save you from him.”
“Oh, I hope you can!” grunted Grunter. “It is no fun to be chased by a wolf.” ”

“ The bunny uncle stepped to the window beside the muskrat lady.
“They’re coming here,” said Mr. Longears. “Mother Goose, Mrs. Hubbard and the Shoe Lady. You aren’t giving a surprise party, are you, Nurse Jane, that they are coming to?”
“No, indeed,” answered Miss Fuzzy Wuzzy. “Though to see the three of them coming this way is a surprise to me. Something must be the matter. See how worried they look.”
“Trouble, I suppose,” said Uncle Wiggily. “Well, if they are in trouble it will give me pleasure to help them out. Open the door, Nurse Jane.” ”

“ So Hickory Dickory Dock, with his sharp teeth, gnawed the grape vine, and, in a little while, Uncle Wiggily was loose and all right again.
“Thank you,” said the bunny uncle to the clock-mouse, as he hopped off, and Hickory Dickory Dock went with him, for his leg was all better now. “Thank you very much, nice little clock-mouse.”
“You did me a favor,” said Hickory Dickory Dock, “and now I have done you one, so we are even.” And that’s a good way to be in this world. ”

“ And Simple Simon began to cry.
“Oh, don’t cry,” said Uncle Wiggily. “See, in my pocket I have some jam tarts. They are for Lulu, Alice and Jimmie Wibblewobble, the ducks, but there are enough to let you have one.”
“Why, you are a regular pie-man yourself; aren’t you?” laughed Simple Simon, as he ate one of Nurse Jane’s nice jam tarts.
“Well, you might call me that,” said the bunny uncle. “Though I s’pose a tart-man would be nearer right.”
“But there’s something else,” went on Simple Simon. “You know in the Mother Goose book I have to go for water, in my mother’s sieve. ”

“ I tossed the dog that worried that cat that caught the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.”
“Oh, I remember you now,” said Uncle Wiggily.
“And this is my crumpled horn,” went on the cow, and she showed the rabbit gentleman how one of her horns was all crumpled and crooked and twisted, just like a corkscrew that is used to pull hard corks out of bottles.
“Well, thank you again for pulling out my foot,” said the cow, as she turned away. “Now I must go toss that dog once more, for he’s always worrying the cat.” ”

“ Just then along came Mother Goose once more.
“Oh, look!” she cried, pointing her broom up to the sky. “There’s my nice jumping cow now. She’s falling down from her jump over the moon. Oh, she’ll break her horns, surely. Oh, dear! What shall I do?”
“Do? Do nothing,” said Uncle Wiggily, kindly. “I will do it myself. See, I have my airship. I’ll sail up and catch the jumping cow before she has time to fall. Then everything will be all right.”
“Oh, please do!” begged Mother Goose.
Up in his clothes-basket airship went Uncle Wiggily Longears, the rabbit gentleman. ”

“ Who is Pussy?”
“Why, you know,” said Mother Goose. “Pussy is a cousin to Fuzzo, Wuzzo and Muzzo, the three little kittens, who lost their mittens.”
“Oh, yes, to be sure,” said Uncle Wiggily. “I remember! So Pussy has gone; has she? What happened to her?”
“That’s what we don’t know, and what we came to you to have you find out,” said Mother Goose. “You see, Pussy—that’s her first name, her last one is Mew—Pussy Mew came on a little visit to Mrs. Purr, who is her aunt, and the mother of the three little kittens who lost their mittens.” ”

“ The fat man got up off the kitchen floor.
“I’m the king,” he said, taking up his gold and diamond crown from a kitchen chair, where he had put it as he kneeled down, so it would not fall off and be dented. “From Mother Goose, you know; don’t you?”
“Yes, I know,” answered Uncle Wiggily.
“I dare say you’ll find the queen in the parlor eating bread and honey,” went on the king. “At least I saw her start for there with a plate, knife and fork as I was coming here. And, no doubt, the maid is in the garden, where she’ll pretty soon have her nose nipped off by a blackbird.” ”

“ And, while she was gone, Uncle Wiggily hid himself in some straw in the hen coop. Pretty soon the old gentleman heard a gnawing, rustling sound and up out of a hole in the ground popped two big rats, with red eyes.
“Did Higgledee Piggledee lay any eggs to-day?” asked one rat, in a whisper.
“Yes,” spoke the other, “she did.”
“Then we will take them,” said the first rat. “Hurray! More eggs for us! No gentlemen will get these eggs because we’ll take them ourselves. Hurray!” ”

“ Nurse Jane can easily make my little rabbit niece another.
“So you take this one, and give me your old one. And when your mother comes she will not see the holes in your dress. Only you must tell her what happened, or it would not be fair. Always tell mothers and fathers everything that happens to you.”
“I will,” promised Polly Flinders.
She soon took off her old dress and put on the new one intended for Susie, and it just fitted her.
“Oh, how lovely!” cried Polly Flinders, looking at her toes.
“And now,” said Uncle Wiggily, “you must sit no more among the cinders.” ”

“ Uncle Wiggily sat down, and he and Mother Goose were talking about the best way to give the most bread and jam to animal children, when along came Grandpa Goosey.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said, all sort of flustered like, “but I lost a button off my coat. I stopped in a tailor’s to have it sewed on, but, would you believe me? There isn’t a tailor to be found in Woodland—not one in this whole forest!”
“Nonsense!” cried Mother Goose. “Why, there are four-and-twenty tailors here—just as many as there were blackbirds baked in the pie that was set before the king. ”

“ And, taking off her tall peaked hat, which she wore when she rode on the back of the old gander, Mother Goose sang:
“Higgledee Piggledee, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Sometimes nine and sometimes ten.
Higgledee Piggledee, my black hen.
Gentlemen come every day,
To see what my black hen doth lay.” “Well,” asked Uncle Wiggily, “what is the trouble? Has Higgledee Piggledee stopped laying? If she has I am afraid I can’t help you, for hens don’t lay many eggs in winter, you know.”
“Oh, it isn’t that!” said Mother Goose, quickly. ”

“ The bunny uncle looked at the tarts he and the Queen had made. He took a little taste of one, and then Uncle Wiggily said:
“No wonder the Jack didn’t want them. By mistake we have put red pepper in the tarts instead of red raspberry jam! They’re as hot as a stove. Oh dear!”
“Never mind,” said the Queen, sweetly. “We’ll make some more tarts, and this time we’ll do it right and put in the jam. Anyhow I’m glad, for now the Jack won’t want to take the new tarts I make.” And the Jack did not. He had had enough. ”

“ Away started the rabbit gentleman, over the fields and through the woods, looking on all sides for the second lost kitten, whose name was Muzzo.
“Where are you, kittie?” called Uncle Wiggily. “Where are you, Muzzo? Come to me! Never mind if your mittens are soiled by cherry-pie-juice. I’ll find a way to clean them.”
But no Muzzo answered. Uncle Wiggily looked everywhere, under bushes and in the tree tops; for sometimes kitty cats climb trees, you know; but no Muzzo could he find. ”

“ And he went roaring down the street.’ “That’s how it is in the book,” went on Tom-Tom. “Only it isn’t exactly right. I didn’t do any roaring, though I may when I get the beating. It’s the pig who is doing the roaring.”
“It sounds more like squealing,” said Uncle Wiggily.
“Yes, you could call it that,” said Tom-Tom, as he looked at the pig under his arm, which cried louder than before. I mean the pig squealed, not Tom-Tom’s arm.
“But look here,” said Uncle Wiggily. “You should not have taken this pig. That’s quite wrong you know, Tom-Tom. Besides, Mother Goose is after you. ”

“ And, indeed, the little girl had to sit on something quite small, for her legs were very short.
“And here are your curds and whey,” went on Nurse Jane, bringing in a bowl. Curds and whey are very good to eat. They are made from milk, sweetened, and are something like a custard in a cup.
So little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey, just as she ought to have done.
“And,” said Nurse Jane to herself, “I do hope no spider will come sit beside her to frighten Miss Muffet away, before Uncle Wiggily sees her, for she is a dear little child.” ”

“ Before Uncle Wiggily could stop him, the Wise Man had tossed Nannie’s doll, Priscilla Spicecake Orangejuice, into the berry bush. Then the man cried:
“Yes, your eyes are scratched out, all right, dollie! Now to scratch them in again!” And, before Uncle Wiggily could hop any closer to stop him, the Wise Man tossed again into the bush, the poor doll. ”