J. N. Stearns

“ Why is a man in snow shoes like a man barefooted?
282. How is it that a man with long legs can not travel faster than one with short legs?
283.
I’m worn by many a lady fair,
In ironing I need much care;
Behead, and I’m a purling stream,
Where many a poet loves to dream!
Behead again, oh! mortal frail,
And I will cause thy cheek to pale.
[pg 56]
CHARADE.
284. If you a journey ever take,
No matter when or where,
My first you’ll always have to pay,
Before you can get there.
My second you will seldom see,
If London through you go;
But still ’tis what I hope you are;
Few better things I know. ”

“ While he’s cutting the daisies his corn will be growing.
When the heads on the barley are ripe, and the cherry,
Mary Lincoln and I will be singing so merry.
Chorus—Cordially, cordially,
Envy me, envy me,
Fiddlesticks, fiddlesticks!
Just act your pleasure, sir.
When the leaves on the trees and the flowers on the clover
Are withered and faded, and Summer is over;
When the grass on the meadows is leveled and gone,
We will sing our last sonnet and leave you alone.
We will fly far away to the rice and the cotton ”

“ Our object has been to instruct by smiles—not frowns; to cheer the dear hearts of the young girlhood and boyhood; to strew flowers among the necessary thorns of existence. In a word, we try in these pages to make the sad happy—the happy still happier.
Hence, pure fun will be found as beautiful in these pages, as honey amid the flowers of Hybla.
Robert Merry. ”

“ Though in misery sunk, yet from sin it is saved.
’Tis found in the stream that flows on to the ocean;
Though in bustle forever, ’tis ne’er in commotion.
’Tis wafted afar o’er the land in each breath;
In the grave ’tis decaying—you’ll find it in death. ”

“ Dear Mary, if I could have wings,
Oh! wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I fly?
[pg 8]
I would float far away on the cloud,
All vailed in the silver mist;
And perhaps I should feel so proud,
I shouldn’t come back to be kissed.
But see, sis, the sweet little creatures
Have each a straw in his beak;
A lesson of duty to teach us,
As plainly as birds can speak.
We think they are only playing,
As they roam to and fro in the sky;
But these busy fellows are saying,
"’Tis not all for pleasure we fly. ”

“ Entire, I am a period of time; behead me, I am an article of food; again behead me, and I am used for food.
7. Entire, I am an emblem of beauty; behead me, and I am a powerful liquid; curtail me, and I am a preposition; replace my head, and I am a useful article. ”

“ Cold water transcends them in all the degrees,
It is good—it is better—’tis BEST.
It is good to warm you when you are cold,
Good to cool you when you are hot;
It is good for the young—it is good for the old,
Whatever their outward lot.
It is better than brandy to quicken the blood,
It is better than gin for the colic;
It is better than wine for the generous mood,
Than whisky or rum for a frolic.
’Tis the best of all drinks for quenching your thirst,
’Twill revive you for work or for play;
In sickness or health, ’tis the best and the first—
Oh! try it—you’ll find it will pay. ”

“ You must remember it takes some patience to get them, as well as to make them. You want the satisfaction of feeling paid when you’re through.”
“Patience! I should think it did!” said Bess, laughing and repeating, “Oh, Sam, cut my pen!” in a very comical manner. “If that didn’t take the patience of Job! And what did it mean, after all? I’m sure Webster don’t know! I think they ought to be fair, at least!”
“So do I,” said Mary, laughing at Bessie’s earnestness. “Now try the word homestead, Bess, and see what you can make of that.” ”

“ Two letters there are, and two only in me;
I’m double, I’m single, I’m black, blue, and gray,
I am read from both ends, and the same either way,
I am restless and wandering, steady and fixed,
And you know not one hour what I may be the next.
I melt, and I kindle—beseech, and defy,
I am watery and moist, I am fiery and dry.
I am scornful and scowling, compassionate, meek;
I am light, I am dark, I am strong, I am weak.
I’m piercing and clean, I am heavy and dull ”

“ Entire, I am useful to the student; deprived of my first letter, I am behind time; transposed, a bird in the West; deprived of my first two letters, I am what you all have done; transposed, what you all do; again transposed, a beverage; my whole, deprived of the first three letters, is a Latin pronoun in the accusative case. This last reversed is a Latin conjunction. My whole, deprived of the first four letters, is a Latin preposition; my whole transposed is a crime; again transposed, I am very little; without my last letter, I am used in building houses; transposed, I am used in cooking ”

“ How it is that news and letters,
How it is that big newspapers,
Full of news, and fun, and wisdom,
Travel ever back and forward,
Travel with the speed of lightning—
Always going, always coming,
And yet never interfering;
While we, sitting under, watching,
Can not see them, can not hear them,
Can not draw their secret from them;
Can not tell how ’tis they do it,
Can not quite believe they do it,
Though we all the while do know it? ”

“ We do not keep together, whether at home or abroad; we are scattered about in every direction,—at once masters, servants, and slaves to forty-four millions of people. Not a book is printed without our aid ”

“ Take away my first and second, and I am the name of a place where all the world was once congregated. Take away my last, and I am the name of a beautiful mineral. Take away my two last, and I am the name of a fashionable place of resort. I am small in stature, but capable of doing a great deal of mischief, as I once did in London in the year 1666.
21. Spell eye-water four letters.
22. Why is swearing like an old coat?
23. Why is a thump like a hat?
24. Why is an inn like a burial-ground?
[pg 9]
25. ”

“ It should be played in a spacious place, out of doors, if possible, and the more there are engaged in it, provided they be of the same height and agility, the better is the sport. We will suppose a dozen at play:—Let eleven of them stand in a row, about six yards apart, with all their faces in one direction, arms folded, or their hands resting on their thighs, their elbows in, and their heads bent forward, so that the chin of each rests on his breast, the right foot advanced, the back a little bent, the shoulders rounded, and the body firm. ”

“ What is the only word in the English language that can be written without pen, pencil, chalk, or any other pigment?
11. I am composed of 9 letters. In me may be found: 1, a title; 2, a metal; 3, a weight; 4, a coin; 5, one of the Merry cousins; 6, part of a wheel; 7, neat; 8, an adverb; 9 and 10, two prepositions. My whole is a place in New York State.
12. Entire, I am a country; curtail me, and I am an inhabitant of the same; behead and transpose, and I am to prevent.
[pg 7]
13. ”

“ Why ought a fisherman to be very wealthy?
17. Why is a man in debt like a misty morning?
18. Who was the first that bore arms?
19. There is a word of seven letters; the first two refers to man, the first three refers to woman, the first four signifies a great man, the seven a great woman.
20. I am a word of five letters. Take away my first and I am the name of what adorns the estate of many of the nobility of England. ”

“ True the dog that helps to lead them,
One gay ram in front we see;
What the flock, and who doth lead them,
Sheep and shepherd, tell to me?
232. I am a word of four letters. Take off my hat, and you have something which you do every day. Take off my head, and you have a preposition. Leave off my head and put on my hat, and you have something used before a door. ”

“ Shows where it can justly and evenly be sundered;
’Tis found in the elements everywhere present,
’Tis found in all seasons, unpleasant or pleasant,
’Tis the chief of all lands, and yet can not wait
On continent, hemisphere, empire, or state.
Though ne’er in Great Britain suspected to lower,
’Tis the heart of each quarter of that mighty power;
It always belonged to the animal race,
In the mineral kingdom they gave it a place,
And, being impartial, they could not deny,
The vegetable order its virtue to try ”

“ My first is a nickname; my second, in sound, asks a question; my third is an article; my fourth is an adverb, and my whole is a flower.
335. My first is a verb; my second is seen in a hat; my third is often used for a signal; my fourth is the same as my second, and my whole is the given name of the writer.
336.
I am composed of 10 letters:
My 7, 5, 10 is a medicine.
My 6, 9, 1 is an adverb.
My 4, 2, 8, 3 may always be seen on Broadway.
My whole is a city.
337. Transpose a tree into a hollow vessel. ”

“ There are two numbers whose product added to the sum of their squares is 109, and the difference of whose squares is 24.
208.
In every hedge my second is,
As well as every tree,
And when poor school-boys act amiss,
It often is their fee.
My first likewise is always wicked,
Yet ne’er committed sin,
My total for my first is fitted,
Composed of brass or tin.
209. My first is a pronoun; my second is not high; my third we must all do; my fourth is a pronoun of multitude; my whole is musical. ”

“ Though unlearned, I have given name to a science—a very striking quality you will acknowledge, when you know me. If you discover me, you deserve me as a reward. If you are dull of comprehension, you deserve me as a punishment! May you have your deserts!
[pg 61]
302.
My first you are when over the ground
You lightly trip to the river’s bank,
Where my second may always be found;
Beware my whole, ’tis cold and dank.
And fatal, too, to many a one
Who will not its danger carefully shun.
303.
I am composed of 13 letters:
My 9, 10, 7, 1 was a good man. ”

“ Entire I am a bird; cut off my tail, and I shall be a surname; now transpose, and I shall be something singular.
84. Why are fowls the most economical things farmers keep?
85. Why is a cricket on the hearth like a soldier in battle?
86.
Entire, I am of bloody mien,
And spread destruction all around;
Beheaded—cheerfully I’m seen
Where pleasure’s votaries are found.
87. Why should a brigadier-general, with his troops, be able to cross any river?
88. Join a verb and conjunction, and make a noun.
89. Join a conjunction and a noun, and form an adverb.
90. Join a noun and adjective, and make a verb. ”

“ To give to the lad my heart tells me I love.
May the brow of the brave never want a wreath of laurel.
110. May the trees of liberty flourish round the globe, and every man partake of its fruit. May the wings of love never lose a feather. ”

“ Which brings together distant shores and lands;
Though neither feet it has, nor head, nor heart,
’Tis often furnished with a hundred hands.
My whole in youth or age, sickness or health,
In joy or sorrow, charms to life can give;
Without it, all in vain are hoards of wealth,
By it unblest in solitude we live.
218. What spice are the Hindoos fond of?
219. Why is a dog like a tanner?
220. Why are A B’s successors seedy?
221. What is nothing good for?
222. I am composed of four letters—the initials of four of the principal personages in Europe—the name of a river in Russia ”

“ A waterman rows a given distance, a, and back again in b hours, and finds that he can row c miles with the current, for d miles against it. Required, the time of rowing down, the time of rowing up, the rate of current, and the rate of rowing. ”

“ In moonbeam and sunbeam forever ’twill glisten.
In the dew-drop it sparkles; ’tis found in the forest;
It whispers in peace when our need is the sorest.
409. My first is a drink; my second is feminine; my third is the cry of an animal; and my whole is a city in Scripture.
410. Behead something irritating, and leave something soothing.
[pg 83]
411. ”

“ Sometimes one of us stands first; sometimes another. Sometimes a row or platoon consists of only two or three of us; at others of many more; and occasionally of twelve, fifteen, or twenty; and, strangest to relate of all, we can be so placed as to make out about 50,000 rows, no two of which will be exactly alike. Must we not, then, be a useful family? And what, think you, is our family name?
290. | | | | | | . Add five more marks to these six, so as to make nine.
[pg 65] ”

“ BLACK-EYED MARY’S ALGEBRAICAL PROBLEM.
342. Take two numbers, such that the square of the first, plus the square of the second, shall equal 8; while the first, plus the product of the first and second, shall equal 6.
N. B.—If any choose to work this out algebraically, it will be found to be no trifling puzzle. See Merry’s Museum for 1856.
343.
What’s that the poor’s most precious friend,
Nor less by kings respected—
Contrived to pierce, contrived to rend,
And to the sword connected.
It draws no blood, and yet doth wound;
Makes rich, but ne’er with spoil ”

“ A squirrel, finding nine ears of corn in a box, took from it, daily, three ears; how many days was he in removing the corn from the box?
52. My first is found in an oyster; my second is possessed by the nobility; every house contains my third; my whole no one applies to himself.
53. What word is that, of three letters, which, read backward, indicates the quality of many who participate in it? ”

“ I am either animal, vegetable, or mineral, and though sometimes no bigger than a bright copper penny or a silver sixpence, yet I am at times as large as a room—indeed, I am a room, and can contain several people ”

“ A hundred stones are placed, in a straight line, a yard distant from each other. How many yards must a person walk, who undertakes to pick them up, and place them in a basket stationed one yard from the first stone? ”

“ Entire, I am a mixture; transposed, I am false; behead me, I am a tree; replace my head, curtail and reverse me, I am a nickname; take out my third letter and reverse me, I am part of the body; replace the third letter, behead and transpose, I am a verb.
354. Why is a very large man always sober?
355. Transpose an army into what they use.
356. What flowers are always under a person’s nose?
357. Entire I am a dog; behead and transpose, and I am used in almost every house.
358. A planet and a plant.
359. Two girls’ names.
360. A certain man’s instrument of torture.
[pg 71] ”

“ I am a word of three letters, signifying to spoil or injure. Transposed, I am an animal. Transposed again, I am a part of the human frame.
[pg 43]
178. Why is a grist-mill like the court-martial which cashiered Fremont?
179.
I have wings, yet never fly—
I have sails, yet never go—
I can’t keep still, if I try,
Yet forever stand just so.
180. Why is a grist-mill like an orange-tree?
181. What Scripture character was a stupid sheep?
182. What animal that always has a cold chin is used to keep the ladies’ chins warm? ”