John Kendrick Bangs

“ But tell me about the dog-tax. Does the State own a dog?"
"Does it?" roared Boswell. "Why, my dear fellow, where were you brought up and educated. Does the State own a dog!"
"That's what I asked you," I put in, meekly. "I may be very ignorant, unless you mean the kind that we have in our legislatures, called the watch-dogs of the treasury, or, perhaps, the dogs of war. But I never thought any city would be crazy enough to make the government take out a license for them."
"Never heard of a beast named Cerberus, I suppose?" ”

“ I suggested, with a wink at the machine, which somehow or other did not seem to appreciate the joke.
"Possibly," observed Boswell. "Whatever the reason, however, the fact remains that Cimmeria is a well-governed city, and, what is more, it isn't afraid to assert its rights even as against old Apollyon himself."
"It's safe enough for a corporation," said I. "Much safer for a corporation which has no soul, than for an individual who has. You can't torture a city--"
"Oh, can't you!" laughed Boswell. "Humph. Apollyon can make it as hot for a city as he can for an individual. ”

“ It is plain to everyone that Cerberus is only one dog, in spite of his many talents and manifest ability to be in several places at once, and inasmuch as the tax which is sued for is merely a dog-tax and not a poll-tax, I must render judgment for the defendants, with costs. ”