Johnston McCulley

“ Thubway Tham stated, asking himself whether he was dealing with some sort of maniac escaped from his keepers.
“Merrington! Motion-picture director! King of the cinema! Producer of 'It Pays to Lose,' the greatest film play ever turned out by mortal man. You must have heard of me! I'm the director who always gets things correct—never any criticism on the local color in my productions.” ”

“ I had the scenario writers think of every type in America and make a list, and now I am getting a person to fit every type, and I'll put some sort of plot around the whole thing. The type's the thing.”
“My goodneth!” gasped Thubway Tham.
“I have a leading man who is a pickpocket——”
“I've heard a lot of them are,” said Tham.
“Only in the play, fellow!” Merrington roared. “In real life he wouldn't have nerve enough. I've got a leading man—confidentially—who is as handsome as the marble statue of a Greek god, and who has about as much brains. ”

“ During the journey to the studio Director Walter Merrington seemed to be deep in thought, save now and then when he roused himself to exclaim enthusiastically over some type or some location that would photograph well.
The studio reached, Thubway Tham was bewildered for a few minutes. Merrington left him in the auto with instructions to wait there, and Tham looked around him. There seemed to be half a dozen stages upon which scenes were being made. Men and women in almost every costume conceivable paraded around, awaiting the call to work. ”

“ I feel that my position as a star is secure. And I feel that you are gradually losing popularity. I have nothing against you personally—but you are not the type of man I can love. Isn't it true that you want to marry me to make sure that you can continue a fat contract? ”

“ Scarcely human!” Merrington went on. “Extraordinary types!”
Thubway Tham thought at that moment that his new job in the movies was gone. The thug who addressed Merrington had a reputation for strength and cruelty. Now he swung himself forward and his ugly face was within six inches of that of the director.
“Who are you to be talkin' fresh to me?” the thug demanded.
“And who are you to get upstage with me, you bum?” Merrington demanded, his eyes flashing angrily. “One side! I make and break men like you at the rate of a hundred a day!” ”

“ Thubway Tham declared. “If I had been a cop I would have known what you wath goin' to do. Are you thuppothed to be a profethional dip in thith film, or juth an amateur?”
“He's a professional—a clever man,” Merrington explained.
“Clever, ith he? My goodneth! There will have to be a lot of rehearthalth,” Tham said.
“Wait!” Merrington smote his brow with his palm. “I'm going to change all this. Claude, we'll twist the scenario a bit and make you a perfect gentleman. The dip will be a second heavy, and we'll have Mr. Tham play it himself. He's got a screen face. ”

“ Thubway Tham gasped. “I did not thay that I would do it, did I? Maybe I wath pinthed onthe for bein' a dip, but it doeth not thtand to reathon that I am goin' to advertithe it.”
“That's all right—not hurt you a bit socially,” Merrington assured him. “All in the interest of truth and science! I've got all sorts over there. Got as fine a burglar, for instance, as there is in the country. Every time we film a burglary of any sort he superintends the job. Got a pardoned murderer, too. He just showed Claude the other day the most approved manner of choking a woman to death. ”

“ Merrington could do one thing—he could judge human nature. He had struck Thubway Tham correctly “where he lived,” had touched his pride in his work.
“A burglar ith an ath,” Tham declared. “He taketh an unfair advantage. He thneakth in a houthe or bank when nobody ith watchin'. Now a dip hath to take an awful chanthe. He hath to work quick and be thmooth about it. He——”
“That's it,” said Merrington. “We'll show them. Let's go! Something seems to tell me that you'll have a great time with Claude. And I'll introduce you to Silvia Blosser, too.” ”

“ The thug swung a fist. Mr. Merrington sidestepped neatly and his own fist caught the thug on the point of the jaw and floored him. Then Merrington hurled himself at the others, cracked two of their heads together, and knocked a knife out of the hand of a third.
“Bums! Merrington said. “Come along, Mr. Tham. Let's go!”
Grinning gleefully, Thubway Tham went. ”

“ We'll be married at the end of the week, and you can have the check. If you don't give me a favorable answer before evening, I put this check in the bank in the morning—and the fireworks begin.”
Claude returned the check to the wallet, put the wallet back in his pocket, swung on his heel, and walked away. Silvia Blosser, her face pale, leaned against the corner of the building, fighting to keep back the sobs. And before the afternoon was over she would have to do some love scenes with that brute of a man!
Thubway Tham felt sorry for her and felt anger against Claude. surging in his breast. ”