Karel Čapek

“ In another twenty years there will not be the living specimen of a Robot whom you could exhibit in a menagerie. My esteemed friends, that would be a great blow to you, but if you will let all of us human beings on Rossum’s Island go on board that ship we will deliver the factory and the secret of the process to you in return. You allow us to get away, and we will allow you to manufacture yourselves. That, worthy Robots, is a fair deal. ”

“ Domin. Perhaps, but we cannot reckon with what is lost when we start out to transform the world. Man shall be free and supreme; he shall have no other aim, no other labor, no other care than to perfect himself. He shall serve neither matter nor man. He will not be a machine and a device for production. He will be Lord of creation.
Busman. Amen.
Fabry. So be it.
Helena. (Rises) You have bewildered me. I should like to believe this.
Dr. Gall. You are younger than we are, Miss Glory. You will live to see it.
Hallemeier. True. (Looking around) Don’t you think Miss Glory might lunch with us? ”

“ Domin. What sort of worker do you think is the best from a practical point of view?
Helena. (Pulling herself together) Oh! Perhaps the one who is most honest and hard-working.
Domin. No. The one that is the cheapest. The one whose requirements are the smallest. Young Rossum invented a worker with the minimum amount of requirements. He had to simplify him. He rejected everything that did not contribute directly to the progress of work. Everything that makes man more expensive. In fact he rejected man and made the Robot. My dear Miss Glory, the Robots are not people. ”

“ Alquist. And who is to blame for all this?
Hallemeier. Nobody is to blame except the Robots.
Alquist. No, it is we are to blame. You, Domin, myself—all of us. For our own selfish ends, for profit, for progress, we have destroyed mankind. Now we’ll burst with all our greatness.
Hallemeier. Rubbish, man. Mankind can’t be wiped out so easily.
Alquist. It’s our fault. It’s our fault. (Rises, coming R. of Gall.)
Dr. Gall. No! I’m to blame for this, for everything that’s happened. (He leaves the window and comes down to end of couch.)
Fabry. You, Gall?
Dr. Gall. I changed the Robots.
Busman. ”

“ Busman. Leave me alone. Leave me alone! Good God, for half a billion anything can be bought. (Gall and Hallemeier after him, then stop. He rushes out L.2. Fabry, Gall and Hallemeier to window.)
Fabry. They stand there as if turned to stone—waiting as if something dreadful could be wrought by their silence—
[77]
Hallemeier. (Looking out window) The spirit of the mob.
Fabry. Yes. It hovers above them like a quivering of the air.
Helena. Oh, God! Doctor Gall, this is ghastly!
Fabry. There is nothing more terrible than the mob. The one in front is their leader. (Domin crosses to window.) ”

“ When we’re on board the Ultimus I’ll stop up my ears with cotton wool, lie down somewhere in the hold, and you’ll train the guns on the factory and blow it to smithereens, and with it Rossum’s secret.
Fabry. (Rises) No!
Domin. Busman, you’re no—gentleman. If we sell them it will be a straight sale.
Busman. (Rises) It’s in the interest of humanity to—
Domin. It’s in the interest of humanity to keep our word—
Hallemeier. Oh, come, what rubbish!
Domin. This is a fearful decision. We are selling the destiny of mankind. Are we to sell or destroy? Fabry?
Fabry. Sell.
Domin. Gall? ”

“ Domin. (Sits beside her on couch) Well, anyone who has looked into human anatomy will have seen at once that man is too complicated, and that a good engineer could make him more simply. So young Rossum began to overhaul anatomy to see what could be left out or simplified. In short—But this isn’t boring you, Miss Glory?
Helena. No, indeed. You’re—It’s awfully interesting.
Domin. (Gets closer) So young Rossum said to himself: “A man is something that feels happy, plays the piano, likes going for a walk, and, in fact, wants to do a whole lot of things that are really unnecessary.” ”

“ Busman. (Sotto voce) Three hundred sixty million.
Domin. (From window) Alquist, this is our last hour. We are already speaking half in the other world. That was not an evil dream to shatter the servitude of labor. The dreadful and humiliating labor that man had to undergo. Work was too hard. Life was too hard. And to overcome that—
Alquist. Was not what the two Rossums dreamed of. Old Rossum only thought of his Godless tricks, and the young one of his milliards. And that’s not what your R. U. R. shareholders dream of either. They dream of dividends, and their dividends are the ruin of mankind. ”

“ Busman. Good gracious, and you want to found a Humanity League. (Men chuckle.) It only costs a third now, Miss Glory. All prices are today a third of what they were and they’ll fall still lower, lower, like that.
Helena. I don’t understand.
Busman. Why, bless you, Miss Glory, it means that the cost of labor has fallen. A Robot, food and all, costs three-quarters of a cent per hour. (Leans forward) That’s mighty important, you know. All factories will go pop like chestnuts if they don’t at once buy Robots to lower the cost of production. ”

“ Robots don’t love. Not even themselves.
Helena. No defiance?
Hallemeier. Defiance? I don’t know. Only rarely, from time to time.
Helena. What happens then?
Hallemeier. Nothing particular. Occasionally they seem to go off their heads. Something like epilepsy, you know. It’s called “Robot’s Cramp.” They’ll suddenly sling down everything they’re holding, stand still, gnash their teeth—and then they have to go into the stamping-mill. It’s evidently some breakdown in the mechanism.
Domin. (Sitting on desk) A flaw in the works that has to be removed.
Helena. No, no, that’s the soul.
Fabry. ”

“ Gall. You see, so many Robots are being manufactured that people are becoming superfluous. Man is really a survival, but that he should die out, after a paltry thirty years of competition, that’s the awful part of it. You might almost think that Nature was offended at the manufacture of the Robots, but we still have old Rossum’s manuscript.
Helena. Yes. In that strong box.
Dr. Gall. We go on using it and making Robots. All the universities are sending in long petitions to restrict their production. Otherwise, they say, mankind will become extinct through lack of fertility. ”

“ Busman. Ha, ha, ha! That’s good. What are Robots made for?
Fabry. For work, Miss Glory. One Robot can replace two and a half workmen. The human machine, Miss Glory, was terribly imperfect. It had to be removed sooner or later.
Busman. It was too expensive.
Fabry. It was not effective. It no longer answers the requirements of modern engineering. Nature has no idea of keeping pace with modern labor. For example, from a technical point of view, the whole of childhood is a sheer absurdity. So much time lost. And then again—
Helena. (Turns to Domin) Oh, no, no! ”

“ The play is laid on an island somewhere on our planet, and on this island is the central office of the factory of Rossum’s Universal Robots. “Robot” is a Czech word meaning “worker.” When the play opens, a few decades beyond the present day, the factory had turned out already, following a secret formula, hundreds of thousands, and even millions, of manufactured workmen, living automats, without souls, desires or feelings. They are high-powered laborers, good for nothing but work. There are two grades, the unskilled and the skilled, and especially trained workmen are furnished on request. ”

“ All Robots turn quickly, automatically to attention, facing Radius, who is standing. On the words: “The rule of the Robots,” they stand there with their arms vibrating high in the air. They form in two lines, turn to audience and march mechanically to the footlights. As they are about to step over the footlights, as if into the audience, all LIGHTS go out. The Robots immediately step back from the Curtain line as the Curtain falls. ”

“ Domin. To cook, Miss Glory. (On her L.)
Helena. To cook what?
Domin. Lunch. (They laugh; takes her hand) The Robots do our cooking for us and as they’ve no taste it’s not altogether— (She laughs.) Hallemeier is awfully good at grills and Gall can make any kind of sauce, and Busman knows all about omelets.
Helena. What a feast! And what’s the specialty of Mr.—your builder?
Domin. Alquist? Nothing. He only lays the table. And Fabry will get together a little fruit. Our cuisine is very modest, Miss Glory. ”

“ Domin. Perhaps it would be better. There’s only a handful of us among a hundred thousand Robots, and not one woman. We talk nothing but the factory all day, and every day. It’s just as if we were under a curse, Miss Glory.
Helena. I’m sorry I said that you were lying. (A KNOCK at door R.)
Domin. Come in. (He is C.)
(From R. enter Dr. Gall, Dr. Fabry, Alquist and Dr. Hallemeier. All act formal—conscious. All click heels as introduced.)
Dr. Gall. (Noisily) I beg your pardon. I hope we don’t intrude.
Domin. No, no. Come in. Miss Glory, here are Gall, Fabry, Alquist, Hallemeier. ”

“ We’re just beginning the manufacture of a new kind.
Helena. What kind?
Domin. Henceforward we shan’t have just one factory. There won’t be Universal Robots any more. We’ll establish a factory in every country, in every state, and do you know what these new factories will make?
Helena. No, what?
Domin. National Robots.
Helena. How do you mean?
Domin. I mean that each of these factories will produce Robots of a different color, a different language. They’ll be complete strangers to each other. (Turns; takes in Hallemeier and Gall) They’ll never be able to understand each other. ”

“ My dear Miss Glory, the Robots are not people. ”

“ Yes, Alquist, they will. Yes, Miss Glory, they will. But in ten years Rossum’s Universal Robots will produce so much corn, so much cloth, so much everything that things will be [32] practically without price. There will be no poverty. All work will be done by living machines. Everybody will be free from worry and liberated from the degradation of labor. Everybody will live only to perfect himself.
Helena. Will he?
Domin. Of course. It’s bound to happen. Then the servitude of man to man and the enslavement of man to matter will cease. Nobody will get bread at the cost of life and hatred. ”

“ Due to the desire of Helena to have the Robots more like human beings, Dr. Gall, the head of the physiological and experimental departments, has secretly changed the formula, and while he has partially humanized only a few hundreds, there are enough to make ringleaders, and a world revolt of robots is under way. This [4] revolution is easily accomplished, as robots have long since been used when needed as soldiers and the robots far outnumber human beings. ”

“ Alquist. Something like this: “Oh, Lord, I thank thee for having given me toil; enlighten Domin and all those who are astray; destroy their work, and aid mankind to return to their labors; let them not suffer harm in soul or body; deliver us from the Robots, and protect Helena. ”

“ Helena. Very little.
Domin. Neither do I. Well— (He laughs) —he then decided to manufacture everything as in the human body. I’ll show you in the museum the bungling attempt it took him ten years to produce. It was to have been a man, but it lived for three days only. Then up came young Rossum, an engineer. He was a wonderful fellow, Miss Glory. When he saw what a mess of it the old man was making he said: “It’s absurd to spend ten years making a man. If you can’t make him quicker than Nature, you might as well shut up shop.” Then he set about learning anatomy himself. ”

“ Domin. (Up C. a step) Practically everything. I believe they’ve cut the cables and seized the radio station. But it doesn’t matter if only the timetable holds good. (Up to window.)
Hallemeier. (Rises) If the timetable holds good, human laws hold good. Divine laws hold good, the laws of the universe hold good, everything holds good that ought to hold good. (Gall applauds.) The timetable is more significant than the gospel, more than Homer, more than the whole of Kant. Madame Helena, the timetable is the most perfect product of the human mind. Madame Helena, I’ll fill up my glass. ”

“ Domin. All the worse. God hasn’t the slightest notion of modern engineering. Would you believe that young Rossum then proceeded to play at being God?
Helena. (Awed) How do you mean?
Domin. He began to manufacture Super-Robots. Regular giants they were. He tried to make them [18] twelve feet tall. But you wouldn’t believe what a failure they were.
Helena. A failure?
Domin. Yes. For no reason at all their limbs used to keep snapping off. “Evidently our planet is too small for giants.” Now we only make Robots of normal size and of very high-class human finish. ”

“ Radius. Master, the machines will not do the work. We cannot manufacture Robots. (Other Robots remain two abreast at L.C., right foot forward.)
1st Robot. We have striven with all our might. We have obtained a billion tons of coal from the earth. Nine million spindles are running by day and by night. There is no longer room for all we have made. This we have accomplished in one year.
Alquist. For whom?
Radius. For future generations—so we thought. But we cannot make Robots to follow us. The machines produce only shapeless clods. ”

“ Busman. (Rises) Of course. For instance, I’ll say to them: “Worthy and Worshipful Robots, you have everything. You have intellect, you have power, you have firearms. But we have just one interesting screed, a dirty old yellow scrap of paper—”
Domin. Rossum’s manuscript? (Interest from All. Gall is at C., near couch. Hallemeier is up at window C.)
Busman. Yes. “And that,” I’ll tell them, “contains an account of your illustrious origin, the noble process of your manufacture and so on. Worthy Robots, without this scribble on that paper you will not be able to produce a single new colleague. ”

“ The whole of Europe is talking about the way you’re being treated. That’s why I came here, to see for myself, and it’s a thousand times worse than could have been imagined. How can you put up with it? ”