Marietta Holley

“ Says I, gently, “S. Annie, you wouldn’t forget him if you wuz dressed in white. And as for respect, such a life as his, from all I hear of it, don’t need crape to throw respect on it: it commands respect, and gets it from everybody.”
“But,” says Abel, “it would look dretful odd to the neighbors if she didn’t dress in black.” Says he, in a skairful tone, and in his intense way,—
“I would ruther resk my life than to have her fail in duty in this way: it would make talk!” And says he, “What is life worth when folks talk?” ”

“ And I sez to him, “Hain’t you glad you didn’t sell your mittens and comforter, Josiah?”
And he sez, real snappish, “I wouldn’t be a fool!”
And I sez, “I didn’t mean no hurt, Josiah,” and I added further, as I clapped my hands together to warm ’em, “We are both sufferers, Josiah Allen.”
“Wall,” sez he, “when we get into the house it will be different. Then we can give it a fair test.”
And I sez, a-glancin’ at the empty coal-ben,—
“A-comin’ up from the suller.” ”

“ He deserves a monument, if a man ever did.”
“But,” says I, “don’t you believe that Harrison would rather have S. Annie and the children settled down in a good little home, with sunthin’ left to take care of ’em, than to have all this money spent in perfectly useless things?”
“Useless!” says Abel, turnin’ red. “Why,” says he, “if you wuzn’t a near relation I should resent that speech bitterly.”
“Wall,” says I, “what do all these flowers, and empty carriages, and silver-plated nails, and crape, and so forth,—what does it all amount to?”
“Respect and honor to his memory,” says Abel, proudly. ”

“ And we imegiatly and to once bought a big noble-sized one, with a good healthy circulation, that makes our house like summer all the time, day and night.
Why, it fairly fools the house-plants, makes the silly things think it is summer. And up stairs and down, in almost every livin’-room their big green leaves and dewy blossoms shine out, not mistrustin’ that it hain’t June. ”

“ That is what wuz a-goin’ to give us sunstrokes in the winter, and prostrations from too fervid heat.”
A by-stander a-standin’ by remarked tersely,—
“All it is good for is old iron.”
But Josiah sez, “Wall, I’ll bet George Washington made durned good potash in it. I’ll bet it wuz a good kettle in its day.”
Sez I, “Josiah Allen, cease such talk. I should think we had suffered enough with the little thing, without lyin’ about it.”
But sez he, firmly, “I believe every word I say, and I don’t say a thing I can’t prove. That is George Washington’s potash-kettle.” ”

“ Howsomever, as far as that is concerned, I always feel that mourners must do as they are a mind to about crape, with fear and tremblin’,—that is, if they are well off, and can do as they are a mind to ”

“ Sometimes they hired a man to set up with it regular till two in the mornin’, thinkin’ then it would survive till mornin’. Sometimes they tried waitin’ on it three or four times a night, and keepin’ it alive that way.
Wall, after eight or nine weeks of sufferin’ almost onexampled, I got better; but the poor little furnace kep’ on a-growin’ weaker and more weak, its circulation more and more clogged up, and its inward fires a-expirin’ gradual.
And finally consent wuz giv that we should put in a new furnace. ”

“ Wall, the next mornin’ early two men come with plans for monuments. Abel had telegrafted to ’em to come with plans and bid for the job of furnishin’ the monument.
And after a good deal of talk on both sides, Abel and S. Annie selected one that wuz very high and p’inted.
The men stayed to dinner, and I said to Abel, out to one side,—
“Abel, that monument is a-goin’ to cost a sight.”
“Wall,” says he, “we can’t raise too high a one. Harrison deserved it all.”
Says I, “Won’t that, and all these funeral expenses, take about all the money he left?” ”

“ But Abel said ag’in that he didn’t care for expense, so long as respect wuz done to the memory of the deceased. He said that he and S. Annie both felt that it wuz their wish to have the funeral go ahead of any other that had ever took place in Loontown or Jonesville. He said that S. Annie felt that it wuz all that wuz left her now in life, the memory of such a funeral as he deserved.
Says I, “There is his children left for her to live for,” says I,—“three little bits of his own life, for her to nourish, and cherish, and look out for.” ”

“ Wall, the next mornin’ the fire wuz built in the furnace, and, it bein’ hot weather, it heat the house beautifully. It wuz about ninety in the shade, so the furnace heat the house warm, and the agent and men looked triumphant, and ag’in Josiah’s apprehensions rose, and he wondered how he wuz goin’ to get through the winter with it without meltin’ right down in our tracts. ”

“ And then the man said that it hadn’t never been sot up before, and also that it had all been fixed over sense it wuz sot up.
This wuz very satisfactory to Josiah, but not to me, and I told him ag’in, impressively,—
“Take out that furnace. My life I feel is at the stake.”
But they stood firm. And when one party stands firm and won’t move, the other party has got to; that is, if there is any movement. ”

“ The monument wuzn’t set up, for they lacked money to pay for the underpinnin’. (Wuzn’t it cur’us, Abel Perry never would think of the underpinnin’ to anything?) But it lay there by the side of the road, a great white shape.
And they say the children wuz skairt, and cried, when they went by it,—cried and wept.
But I believe it wuz because they wuz cold and hungry that made ’em cry. I don’t believe it wuz the monument. ”

“ I see he wuz gettin’ completely onstrung. And I, with my own inward apprehensions, wuz in no state to string him up ag’in.
So I kep’ him away from them by borrowin’ things I didn’t want of Mrs. Gowdey, and sendin’ home tea I never had to Miss Bobbitses, and etc. etc.
Yes, to such depths of deceit will a woman’s devoted love lead her.
Wall, about night they got it sot up, and Josiah and I proceeded down-stairs to see it. They had all gone then, for Miss Bobbit had detained Josiah with a long story. She mistrusted sunthin’. ”

“ And I found that that extended to Abel’ses business arraingments. Amongst the other ornaments of his buildin’s wuz mortgages, quite a lot of ’em, and of almost every variety. He had gin his only child S. Annie (she wuz named after her mother Sally Ann, but wrote it this way) ,—he had gin S. Annie a showy education, a showy weddin’, and a showy settin’-out. But she had had the good luck to marry a sensible man, though poor. ”

“ They wuz quite a long time a-settin’ up the furnace. It seemed to me to take a good while, but I wuzn’t used to the common behavior of furnaces, and didn’t know but it wuz one of their habits to be a good while a-bein’ sot up. ”