Mark Twain

“ Both had strong appetites for money; each had bought a great tract of land, with a purpose; there was going to be a new railway, and each wanted to be in the Legislature and help locate the route to his own advantage; a single vote might make the decision, and with it two or three fortunes. The stake was large, and Harkness was a daring speculator. He was sitting close to the stranger. He leaned over while one or another of the other Symbols was entertaining the house with protests and appeals, and asked, in a whisper,
"What is your price for the sack?" ”

“ I wanted to damage every man in the place, and every woman--and not in their bodies or in their estate, but in their vanity--the place where feeble and foolish people are most vulnerable. So I disguised myself and came back and studied you. ”

“ The responsibility is individual, not communal. From this day forth each and every one of you is in his own person its special guardian, and individually responsible that no harm shall come to it. Do you- -does each of you--accept this great trust? [Tumultuous assent.] Then all is well. Transmit it to your children and to your children`s children. To-day your purity is beyond reproach--see to it that it shall remain so. To-day there is not a person in your community who could be beguiled to touch a penny not his own--see to it that you abide in this grace. ”

“ A Voice. "Seventeen Symbols left! Step up, gentlemen, and assume your trust!"
There was a pause--no response.
The Saddler. "Mr. Chairman, we`ve got ONE clean man left, anyway, out of the late aristocracy; and he needs money, and deserves it. I move that you appoint Jack Halliday to get up there and auction off that sack of gilt twenty-dollar pieces, and give the result to the right man--the man whom Hadleyburg delights to honour--Edward Richards." ”

“ I must change that--the dramatic unities require it; they must buy the sack they tried to steal; they must pay a heavy price, too--some of them are rich. And another thing, when I make a mistake in Hadleyburg nature the man that puts that error upon me is entitled to a high honorarium, and some one must pay. This poor old Richards has brought my judgment to shame; he is an honest man:--I don`t understand it, but I acknowledge it. ”

“ Rarities are always helped by any device which will rouse curiosity and compel remark. Now if I may have your permission to stamp upon the faces of each of these ostensible coins the names of the eighteen gentlemen who--"
Nine-tenths of the audience were on their feet in a moment--dog and all--and the proposition was carried with a whirlwind of approving applause and laughter.
They sat down, and all the Symbols except "Dr." Clay Harkness got up, violently protesting against the proposed outrage, and threatening to "I beg you not to threaten me," said the stranger calmly. ”

“ The list dwindled, dwindled, dwindled, poor old Richards keeping tally of the count, wincing when a name resembling his own was pronounced, and waiting in miserable suspense for the time to come when it would be his humiliating privilege to rise with Mary and finish his plea, which he was intending to word thus: ". . . for until now we have never done any wrong thing, but have gone our humble way unreproached. We are very poor, we are old, and, have no chick nor child to help us ”

“ Divvy! divvy! Be kind to the poor--don`t keep them waiting!"
The Chair. "Order! I now offer the stranger`s remaining document. It says: `If no claimant shall appear [grand chorus of groans] , I desire that you open the sack and count out the money to the principal citizens of your town, they to take it in trust [Cries of "Oh! Oh! Oh!"] , and use it in such ways as to them shall seem best for the propagation and preservation of your community`s noble reputation for incorruptible honesty [more cries] --a reputation to which their names and their efforts will add a new and far-reaching lustre." ”

“ This was received with great enthusiasm, the dog taking a hand again; the saddler started the bids at a dollar, the Brixton folk and Barnum`s representative fought hard for it, the people cheered every jump that the bids made, the excitement climbed moment by moment higher and higher, the bidders got on their mettle and grew steadily more and more daring, more and more determined, the jumps went from a dollar up to five, then to ten, then to twenty, then fifty, then to a hundred, then At the beginning of the auction Richards whispered in distress to his wife: "Oh, Mary, can we allow it? ”

“ So he began, in a dazed and sleep-walker fashion:
"`The remark which I made to the unhappy stranger was this: "You are far from being a bad man. [The house gazed at him marvelling.] Go, and reform."` [Murmurs: "Amazing! what can this mean?"] This one," said the Chair, "is signed Thurlow G. Wilson."
"There!" cried Wilson, "I reckon that settles it! I knew perfectly well my note was purloined."
"Purloined!" retorted Billson. "I`ll let you know that neither you nor any man of your kidney must venture to--"
The Chair: "Order, gentlemen, order! ”

“ There IS no test-remark--nobody made one. [Great sensation.] There wasn`t any pauper stranger, nor any twenty-dollar contribution, nor any accompanying benediction and compliment--these are all inventions. [General buzz and hum of astonishment and delight.] Allow me to tell my story--it will take but a word or two. I passed through your town at a certain time, and received a deep offence which I had not earned. Any other man would have been content to kill one or two of you and call it square, but to me that would have been a trivial revenge, and inadequate ”

“ The old couple sat reluctantly down, and the husband whispered to the wife, "It is pitifully hard to have to wait; the shame will be greater than ever when they find we were only going to plead for OURSELVES."
Straightway the jollity broke loose again with the reading of the names.
"`You are far from being a bad man--` Signature, `Robert J. Titmarsh.`"
`"You are far from being a bad man--` Signature, `Eliphalet Weeks.`"
"`You are far from being a bad man--` Signature, `Oscar B. Wilder.`"
At this point the house lit upon the idea of taking the eight words out of the Chairman`s hands. ”

“ All manner of cries were scattered through the din: "We`re getting rich--TWO Symbols of Incorruptibility!--without counting Billson!" "THREE!-- count Shadbelly in--we can`t have too many!" "All right--Billson`s elected!" "Alas, poor Wilson! victim of TWO thieves!"
A Powerful Voice. "Silence! The Chair`s fished up something more out of its pocket."
Voices. "Hurrah! Is it something fresh? Read it! read! read!"
The Chair [reading] . "`The remark which I made,` etc. `You are far from being a bad man. Go,` etc. Signed, `Gregory Yates.`"
Tornado of Voices. "Four Symbols!" ”

“ Burgess to try to resume, and for the people to get their eyes partially wiped; then it broke out again, and afterward yet again; then at last Burgess was able to get out these serious words:
"It is useless to try to disguise the fact--we find ourselves in the presence of a matter of grave import. It involves the honour of your town--it strikes at the town`s good name. The difference of a single word between the test-remarks offered by Mr. Wilson and Mr. ”