Molière

“ And render pledge for pledge, and oath for oath.
ALCESTE
No, no, I can't endure these abject manners
So much affected by your men of fashion;
There's nothing I detest like the contortions
Of all your noble protestation-mongers,
So generous with meaningless embraces,
So ready with their gifts of empty words,
Who vie with all men in civilities,
And treat alike the true man and the coxcomb.
What use is it to have a man embrace you,
Swear friendship, zeal, esteem, and faithful love,
And loudly praise you to your face, then run
And do as much for any scamp he meets? ”

“ And with all this, dear Marquis, I should think
That any man might be self-satisfied.
CLITANDRE
Yes. But, since elsewhere you find easy conquests,
Why waste your sighs upon this lady here?
ACASTE
I? Gad, not I! I'm not of make or temper
To bear a fair one's coldness. Let the common
And awkward fellows burn with constancy
For frigid beauties, languish at their feet,
Bear their rebuffs, seek help in sighs and tears,
And try, by long continuance of service,
To win what is denied their scanty merit.
But men like me, dear Marquis, are not made
To love on credit and pay all expenses. ”

“ Yourself—you’ve such great reason to be joyous?
ACASTE
Egad now! When I look myself well over,
I can't find any cause for discontent;
I'm rich, I'm young, I'm of a family
That well may give itself the style of noble;
And by the rank which my extraction gives me,
I can lay claim to almost any office.
In courage, which we all must value most,
The world knows (not to boast) that I’m not lacking;
They've seen me carry an affair of honour
Quite dashingly and cavalierly through.
With wit, of course, I’m furnished ”

“ But still, intrigue . . .
ALCESTE
No. I won't stir a step. My mind’s made up.
My cause is wrong, or right.
PHILINTE
Don't trust to that.
ALCESTE
I shall not budge.
PHILINTE
Your adversary’s strong,
And may, through his cabal, bear off ...
ALCESTE
No matter.
PHILINTE
You'll find you've made a great mistake.
ALCESTE
So be it.
I want to see how this thing will turn out.
PHILINTE
But ...
ALCESTE
It will be a joy to lose my suit.
PHILINTE
But surely . . .
ALCESTE
By this trial I shall see
If men can be sufficiently perverse,
Rascally, villainous, and impudent
To do me wrong before the universe. ”

“ This is your package, sir.
"And as to the sonnetteer, who has set up for a wit, and is determined to be an author whether the world will or no, I can't bring myself to listen to him, and his prose wearies me as much as his verse. So be assured that I am not always so merry as you think; that I miss you greatly, and more than I could wish, at all the entertainments they drag me to; and that the presence of people we like gives a marvellous relish to our pleasures." ”

“ To you. 'Tis your approving laughter
That wings these slanderous arrows of her wit.
And her satiric humour feeds upon
The guilty incense of your flatteries;
Her heart would find less charm in raillery
Were she to see it pass without applause.
And so 'tis always flatterers we find
To blame for vices spread among mankind.
PHILINTE
But why so earnest in behalf of people
In whom you 'd blame yourself the selfsame faults?
CELIMENE
Must not the gentleman needs contradict? ”

“ They ask of mortal men too much perfection;
We must yield to the times, and not too hardly;
And 'tis the very utmost height of folly
To take upon you to reform the world.
I see a hundred things each day, as you do,
That might be better, were they different;
And yet, whatever I see happening,
I don't fly in a passion, as you do;
I quietly accept men as they are,
Make up my mind to tolerate their conduct,
And think my calmness is, for court or town,
As good philosophy as is your choler.
ALCESTE
But can this calmness, sir, that talks so well,
Be moved at nothing? ”

“ You have your reasons, sir, for thinking so;
But you must grant me reasons of my own,
And not expect that mine shall bow to yours.
ORONTE
I’m satisfied to find that others prize them.
ALCESTE
They have the art of feigning. I have not.
ORONTE
D' ye think you are endowed with all the brains?
ALCESTE
Did I but praise your rhymes, you'd grant me more. ”

“ Of friendship. Let's be men; on all occasions
Show in our words the truth that's in our hearts,
Letting the heart itself speak out, not hiding
Our feelings under masks of compliment.
PHILINTE
There’s many a time and place when utter frankness
Would be ridiculous, or even worse;
And sometimes, no offence to your high honour,
'Tis well to hide the feelings in our hearts.
Would it be proper, decent, in good taste,
To tell a thousand people your opinion
About themselves? When you detest a man,
Must you declare it to him, to his face? ”

“ Come, little sir, don't take such lofty airs.
ALCESTE
Faith, mighty sir, I’ll take what airs I please.
PHILINTE, stepping between them
Eh! sirs, you go too far. Let be, I pray you.
ORONTE
I’m in the wrong, of course; I’ll quit the field.
I am your servant, sir, with all my heart.
ALCESTE
And I, sir, am your most obedient servant.
SCENE III
PHILINTE, ALCESTE
PHILINTE
Well, now you see! For being too sincere,
You’ve got an ugly quarrel on your hands;
I saw Oronte, on purpose to be flattered . . .
ALCESTE
Don't speak to me.
PHILINTE
But ...
ALCESTE
I renounce mankind.
PHILINTE
'Tis too much. ”

“ Candidly, sir, 'tis good . . . good closet-verse.
You have been guided by the worst of models,
And your expressions are not true to nature.
Now what is this: And rock to sleep our pain?
Or this: If nothing follow in its train?
What means: Nor put yourself to such expense,
To give me hope, and hope alone? What sense
Is there in this: Hope and despair are one
When hope lasts on—or words to that effect?
This style, full of conceits, that we're so vain of,
Is far from truth to life and genuineness;
'Tis merely play on words, sheer affectation,
And nature speaks far otherwise than so. ”

“ I’ll tell you plainly that your strange distemper
Is thought as good's a play, where'er you go;
Such mighty wrath against the ways o' the world
Makes you a laughing-stock for many people.
ALCESTE
So much the better! Zounds, so much the better!
The very thing I want; I’m overjoyed;
'Tis a good sign. I hate mankind so much,
I should be sorry if they thought me wise.
PHILINTE
You have a great spite against human nature. ”

“ The sting of such a wrong. 'Tis true, I know,
That will has no control of our affections,
That love must always come spontaneously,
That never any heart was won by force,
And every soul is free to name its master. ”

“ And thinks, to praise does not become a wit,
But to find fault will prove your skill and learning,
And to admire and laugh belongs to fools;
He thinks that by approving nothing new
He sets himself above all other men.
Even in conversations he finds fault ”

“ People of lofty merit needs must win
Esteem and love from everyone; your worth
Has some especial charm to make my heart
Espouse your interests in every way.
I wish the court would cast an eye of favour
On you, and do more justice to your merits.
You’ve reason to complain; I'm out of patience
To see them day by day do nothing for you. ”

“ Ah! 'tis a clever turn, a fine evasion.
I'll own I didn't look for such a shift,
And I am quite convinced by it, of course.
How dare you seek such palpable devices?
Or do you think me quite devoid of sense?
Come, show me by what trick, and with what face,
You can maintain so evident a lie;
How you will twist to suit them to a woman
All the expressions of this passionate letter? ”

“ But you, sir—you remember our agreement.
I pray you speak in all sincerity.
ALCESTE
This is a ticklish subject always, sir;
We’re fond of being flattered for our wit.
But I was saying, just the other day,
To some one—I won't mention any names—
On hearing certain verses he had written,
That any gentleman should always keep
In stern control this writing itch we’re seized with;
That he must hold in check the great impatience
We feel to give the world these idle pastimes;
For, through this eagerness to show our works,
'Tis likely we shall cut a foolish figure. ”

“ Things can't drag on forever.
Now is the moment to declare your heart.
ORONTE
Sir, not for anything would I disturb
Your happy fortune by an ill-timed wooing.
ALCESTE
Sir, not for anything—jealous or not—
Would I consent to share her heart with you.
ORONTE
If she can possibly prefer your love . . .
ALCESTE
If she can feel for you the slightest leaning . . . ”

“ Arrayed, plight troth with all mankind by turns!
I was too much the dupe, I'm so no longer.
I owe you much for teaching me to know you,
I'm richer by the heart you thus restore.
And find revenge in knowing what you lose.
(To Alceste) I shall oppose your love no longer, sir,
And now you may conclude your match with her. ”

“ Mind your own business, will you, sir?
(To Eliante)
I’m all too certain of her treason, madam,
Having it written down in her own hand.
Yes, here 's a letter to Oronte, disclosing
Her shame and my misfortune; to Oronte,
Whose suit I thought she scorned, and whom I feared
The least of all my rivals.
PHILINTE
Letters, sometimes,
Are not so guilty as they may appear.
ALCESTE
Once more, sir, will you please let me alone,
And pay attention to your own concerns?
ELIANTE
You ought to calm yourself. The outrage . . . ”

“ On with your satire!
PHILINTE
But then, 'tis true you’re always up in arms
'Gainst everything that anybody says;
And with ill-humour you admit yourself,
You can't let people either blame or praise. ”

“ Still, this is well worth reading:
"You are a strange fellow to blame me for my gaiety, and reproach me with being never so merry as when I am not with you. Nothing can be more unjust, and if you don’t come very soon and entreat my pardon for this crime, I'll never forgive you as long as I live. Our great gawk of a viscount ..."
He ought to be here.
"Our great gawk of a viscount, whom you complain of first, could never by any possibility suit my taste. ”

“ Is wasted, sir; what can you find to say
About it? Will you have the impudence
To palliate these constant infamies?
PHILINTE
No, I agree to anything you please.
Intrigue and selfish motives govern all,
Deceit wins every battle now-a-days,
And men should be quite other than they are.
But is their lack of righteousness a reason
To shun the world? These faults of human nature
But give us opportunities in life
To put in practice our philosophy ”