Owen Oliver

“ The lady broke down. "Don't—don't—think of things, lady," Simmons entreated.
"What's the use of telling people not to do what they can't help doing?" she wanted to know. "How would your wife like to be without her children at Christmas-time?"
"Don't suppose she "wouldn't," he thought, "or any other time. Thinks a deal of 'em. If she an' me 'ad 'ad a—wot you called it—an' I 'ad the kids, strike me if I don't think I'd lend 'er one for Christmas if she arst for it." ”

“ She nodded acknowledgment without raising it.
"A lady is wonderful like a woman in 'er ways," he reflected, as he trudged away into the night. "Contradicks 'erself in one breath, an' turns on yer for agreein' with 'er. An' sees through yer, if yer don't mind. 'Eavin' knows what tale I'd best make up for Em'ly. If I says I got 'em from the emporium, she'll want to 'ide 'em away, an' find out they wasn't never broke into. Might try tellin' 'er the truth for once! An' rather like to 'ear what she thinks of this uncomfortability of temper bus'ness." ”

“ The missus'll never believe 'ow I come by the toys, and none too ready to believe things as it is. Best tell 'er as I broke in the emporium, an' not lay myself open to suspicion by tellin' the truth. Rummy thing as he'd want to be separated from 'er. Blackguard, I suppose, an' she was too good for 'im. Funny that sort of bloke should want the kids, though. Bus'ness 'tween a man an' a woman is all funny bus'ness, if you ask me, an' you can't never say 'ow it will turn out. People 'ud say as my brother Jack an' 'is missus was very like Em'ly an' me, an' so they are. ”

“ All women have."
"I was noticing, lady," he agreed. He picked up the last parcel. "Thanking you very kindly."
"And," she said, "if you and she have a quarrel, a man ought to be the one to offer to make it up, not expect the woman to. She can't. You understand that. ... A merry Christmas to you, Mr. Simmons, and—try to find a different business, for the sake of your wife and children. God bless you all!"
Mr. Simmons managed to hug the parcels in one arm, so that he could touch his cap, and backed away.
"If it ain't a liberty, lady," he said, "I 'ope as 'e'll put things right for you ”

“ It wood be a nise Santy Clos if you took the kids over to her on X. Mas morng but go yourself do not send by a servent a man an his wife shood never have there quarrils befour the young stirs or let them no. ”

“ He is not really hard at all, only unreasonable over some things. I don't put all the blame on him. It's just incompatibility of temperament."
"Ah!" said Mr. Simmons. "Meanin' as you look at things a bit different, perhaps? Me an' the missus does—an' got a tongue, she 'as!—but ... It's like this, lady. It's best for kids not to know of it. 'Never you dare to contradic' me before the children,' Em'ly says, 'an' I never won't you, an' never don't. An' if you do, I'll scrag you.' Which is a figger of speech, 'cause she ain't no size ”

“ Its hard on her for a woman missis her kids at this seeson, an worrid about there toys an if they will be lookt after proper not to hurt thereselfs, childrin being careles, but nose you will do all you can, but not like there mar. ”