P. G. Wodehouse

Name: The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5
Author: P. G. Wodehouse

The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

Summary

“The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5”, published in 1922, is a work by P. G. Wodehouse. It explores elements such as George Mackintosh, Celia and golf.

Quotes from The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (P. G. Wodehouse)

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ George Mackintosh did not, I am glad to say, carry out his mad project to the letter. He did not altogether sever himself from golf. He was still to be seen occasionally on the links. But now—and I know of nothing more tragic that can befall a man—he found himself gradually shunned, he who in the days of his sanity had been besieged with more offers of games than he could manage to accept. Men simply would not stand his incessant flow of talk. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ How many a young man have I seen go out with Herbert Pobsley exulting in his youth, and crawl back at eventide looking like a toad under the harrow! He talked?"
"All the time, confound it! Put me right off my stroke."
The Oldest Member sighed.
"The talking golfer is undeniably the most pronounced pest of our complex modern civilization," he said, "and the most difficult to deal with. It is a melancholy thought that the noblest of games should have produced such a scourge. I have frequently marked Herbert Pobsley in action. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ Oh, heavens!"
"Can you forgive me, George?" cried Celia again.
He took her hand in his.
"Forgive you?" he muttered. "Can you forgive me? Me—a tee-talker, a green-gabbler, a prattler on the links, the lowest form of life known to science! I am unclean, unclean!"
"It's only a little mud, dearest," said Celia, looking at the sleeve of his coat. "It will brush off when it's dry."
"How can you link your lot with a man who talks when people are making their shots?" ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ Pressing is always bad, but with the mashie——"
"I think I will give you this hole," said Celia to me, for my shot had cleared the water and was lying on the edge of the green. "I wish I hadn't used a new ball."
"The price of golf-balls," said George, as we started to round the lake, "is a matter to which economists should give some attention. I am credibly informed that rubber at the present time is exceptionally cheap. Yet we see no decrease in the price of golf-balls, which, as I need scarcely inform you, are rubber-cored. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ The fundamental law of the dynamics of golf is that the left foot shall be solidly on the ground at the moment of impact. If you allow your heel to point down the course, it is almost impossible to bring it back in time to make the foot a solid fulcrum. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ He proceeded evenly with his speech, and was still talking when Celia addressed her ball and drove off. Her drive, coinciding with a sharp rhetorical question from George, wavered in mid-air, and the ball trickled off into the rough half-way down the hill. I can see the poor girl's tortured face even now. But she breathed no word of reproach. Such is the miracle of women's love.
"Where you went wrong there," said George, breaking off his remarks on Labour, "was that you have not studied the dynamics of golf sufficiently. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ I have an awful fear that when we are getting married instead of answering 'I will,' he will go into the pulpit and deliver an address on Marriage Ceremonies of All Ages. The world to him is a vast lecture-platform. He looks on life as one long after-dinner, with himself as the principal speaker of the evening. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ Apart from the difficulty of summoning up the necessary resolution, an act like hers requires a straight eye and a pair of strong and supple wrists. It seems to me that for the ordinary talking golfer there is no hope. And the race seems to be getting more numerous every day. Yet the finest golfers are always the least loquacious. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ You will hear professionals tell their pupils to keep their eye on the ball. Keeping the eye on the ball is only a secondary matter. What they really mean is that the head should be kept rigid, as otherwise it is impossible to——"
His voice died away. I had sliced my drive into the woods on the right, and after playing another had gone off to try to find my ball, leaving Celia and George in the ravine behind me. My last glimpse of them showed me that her ball had fallen into a stone-studded cavity in the side of the hill, and she was drawing her niblick from her bag as I passed out of sight. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ Why is it that we are able to sleep through some vast convulsion of Nature when a dripping tap is enough to keep us awake? I am told that there were people who slumbered peacefully through the San Francisco earthquake, merely stirring drowsily from time to time to tell an imaginary person to leave it on the mat. Yet these same people——"
Celia's drive bounded into the deep ravine which yawns some fifty yards from the tee. A low moan escaped her.
"Where you went wrong there——" said George. ”

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Source: Wikisource

P. G. Wodehouse, The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (1922)

“ As the crackling of thorns under a pot.... He is almost as bad as poor George Mackintosh in his worst period. Did I ever tell you about George Mackintosh?"
"I don't think so."
"His," said the Sage, "is the only case of golfing garrulity I have ever known where a permanent cure was affected. If you would care to hear about it——?"
George Mackintosh (said the Oldest Member) , when I first knew him, was one of the most admirable young fellows I have ever met. A handsome, well-set-up man, with no vices except a tendency to use the mashie for shots which should have been made with the light iron. ”

P. G. Wodehouse

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Quotes from The Clicking of Cuthbert — Chapter 5 (P. G. Wodehouse)

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