Robert Bisset

“ All my friends give you a very high character, that I assure you, not any consideration of property is what now induces me to make bold. Besides the extraordinary beauty of your face and person, the whiteness of your skin, your shining eyes, and the fine fall of your shoulders, the dignity of your walk, not to mention other charms, which, though invisible, may be well supposed, has created in me a passion, which preys upon my heart, and will, if not gratified, throw me into a consumption; which, as the Family Physician observes, is, in this country, a very frequent and dangerous distemper. ”

“ Descending to more recent events, she would with pleasure hear the natural though homely recitals of old Maxwell, and enjoy the fire of his eye, when describing the defence of Bergen-op-Zoom, or the capture of Quebec; she was well acquainted with the events of the war just terminated, especially such as displayed heroism, or manifested British character. Such was the young lady to whom Major Hamilton was now introduced. Hamilton himself was a man of a very prepossessing appearance, tall, and graceful; in face, figure, and deportment, at once elegant and manly. ”

“ She had heard, with rage, of the charms of Eliza, and her striking resemblance of her mother. As the devil, in sending envy to the human heart, sends its severest punishment in the admiration of its object, and its own rankling gall, [59] she could not, for her soul, avoid thinking Eliza the most engaging woman in the room. Nay, her attempts, in her own mind, to under-rate the charms of Miss Wentbridge, recoiled on herself in exaggerating their witchery. But though envy cannot really force itself to a contempt of its object, it may easily try to assume that disguise. ”

“ My dear Hamilton, I revere you, and by my affection and admiration I conjure you, at least, for the present, [298] to make no overtures of the kind. Be called to the bar, be engaged in some cause which will make you known, and lay the foundation of eminence and opulence. Be once established, and if you continue your love to Maria, I shall most eagerly promote a connection that will contribute to her honour and happiness.” “Happiness, did you say,” cried our hero eagerly, “have you, my dear Mortimer, any idea that your sister is favourably disposed.” ”

“ Mortimer was an extremely worthy man; but, totally without disguise himself, he did not readily suspect it in any other. John was a man of abilities, penetration, well-acquainted with the world, and with the fair sex, and not ignorant of the artifices and dissimulation which modesty and delicacy often introduce in the most virtuous and elevated female bosoms. He heard from the communicative old gentleman, all the detail of their journey, including the dashing miss that set off with Hamilton. ”

“ Siddons in Belvidera called from our youth the pathos of genius so irresistibly [269] impressive, that glistening eyes and moistened cheeks of the fair auditors bore unequivocal testimony to the softness of their sensibility. Far transcending all the female guests, in the vigour of her imagination, and the tenderness of her heart, Maria, by the action and reaction of fancy and of feeling, was more enchanted and affected by the descriptions and exhibitions of our hero, than any of her companions. She saw how exquisitely his countenance corresponded with the varying subject ”

“ It was, he said, much more becoming that a young man in the vigour of life should enjoy such a property, than an old man with one foot in the grave. The laird, though totally unmoved by this reasoning, yet standing in some awe of O’Rourke, very mildly informed him, that if he would open his pretensions to the colonel, or his son William, he would receive a complete answer, as they were entirely in the secret of all his plans and intentions. ”

“ Sentiment and affection, though still very strong, began now to be surpassed by mere sensual desire, and though Hamilton had no reason for jealousy, the fidelity of Collings was now owing much more to the closeness of his attentions than to the firmness of her constancy. She gradually became negligent about her employment, and not long after relinquished it entirely. Hamilton could not help perceiving her degeneracy, and coolling in his own passion, but conscious that he himself was the cause of her apostacy from virtue, and afterwards from delicacy, felt keen remorse. ”

“ If a poor deformed urchin of no fortune, sense, or accomplishments, were to address a beautiful young lady, and to have for his rival a very handsome, graceful man of character, talents, and property, the urchin, most unquestionably, would fail, from the folly of his suit, but, agreeably to human nature, he would revile, and try to disparage the accomplished cavalier, who succeeded because he was formed for success. Such is a literary dunce, in respect to a literary genius. ”

“ The members of the party were so extremely pleased with each other, that the dawning morn was the first intimation that midnight was passed. Late as it was, and though William had not been in bed the preceding night, yet he lay awake, meditating on love and Maria, and wholly [270] bent on winning the affections of so charming a fair. In the tumultuous eagerness of passion, reason did not altogether neglect one of her favourite votaries, but asked, to what end could he indulge his affection? was his situation in life such as to justify so early a marriage, deserving as the young lady might be? ”

“ I consider my daughter and family disgraced by a connection with a strolling adventurer.” “Do you know,” said the other, loudly, “whom you are talking to, you silly old fool?” “Old I am,” replied the laird, “but not so old as to bear an insult from a low scoundrel. So, sir, leave this room instantly. I shall take care of my unfortunate daughter, but for you, a single shilling of mine shall never pass through your hands again.” “O, I see,” said O’Rourke, “it is all as I suspected, that old villain, colonel Hamilton, has for his own purposes been working on your poor weak head.” ”

“ In the course of the evening Hamilton received from this gentleman such an accession, not only of details and facts, but of principles and views, as convinced him he would be a very valuable instructor, while the strength and splendour of his wit and [212] humour rendered him a most delightful companion. The charms of Strongbrain’s colloquial powers fascinated our hero to a very late hour, and he determined to spare no pains in cultivating so very valuable and pleasant an acquaintance: but for some weeks family parties interrupted the progress of their new acquaintance. ”

“ Hamilton, as we have seen, was not insensible to the attractions of even this species of ladies, yet, at present, his imagination was so much engrossed by the charms of the lovely Miss Mortimer, that his senses were less alive to present objects. ”

“ Your own fortune though sufficient for your support, until your exertions bring fame and emolument, yet is inadequate to the maintenance of an increasing family, in the style to which both you and my sister are accustomed, and before your efforts, by establishing your reputation, had insured your success, embarrassments might commence, which breaking your spirits might damp the ardour of your genius, enfeeble the energy of eloquence and make a man of so transcendant powers, surpassed in his professions by plodding mediocrity. ”

“ Having, after the coach was set off, continued to gaze on the window where Maria stood, on the turning of the corner he lost sight of the beloved object, and, regardless of his fellow traveller, threw himself back, and feigning to be asleep, brooded in fancy over the lovely image of Maria. His companion was one of those young ladies who, having the eye of an hawk after the handsome of the opposite sex, are not unskilled in quarrying upon destined prey. ”

“ I know, my dear son, my respite is only short, but it is very satisfactory to me, that it permits me to unfold to the chief pride of my heart, my thoughts, sentiments, prospects, and wishes. To you, my eldest son and representative, I have left the half of a very moderate fortune, and the other half divided between Eliza and Henry. Your mother, during life, is to have the half of the interest of the whole, besides the pension which she will receive as a colonel’s widow. ”

“ An estate within two or three miles of him had, it seems, devolved upon an elderly maiden by the death of a nephew. As, besides her age, she happened to have but one eye, he had sanguinely hoped for success, and made his addresses a few days after the interment; but the lady, large raw-boned and red hair, bestowed her hand and fortune on an Irish recruiting sergeant of grenadiers.—As rebuffs, however, were familiar to this suitor, he was not very deeply afflicted. Major Hamilton soon opened to his brother his engagements with the fair Eliza, and expatiated on the charms of his lovely mistress. ”

“ Most of the morning was occupied in viewing the farms of the squire and his tenants. [273] His own demesnes evinced the skill and ability of the farmer and gardener, that happily mingled utility with pleasure; in whose plans, culture was the groundwork, while decoration was the edging and interspersion, in which productiveness, the primary object, did not preclude delight. The fields, husbandry, houses, dress, and persons of his tenants, evinced the industrious and thriving farmers of Yorkshire.
The rest of the visitors were now departed, and Hamilton was the only guest. ”

“ Not being sparing in his strictures on combined profligacy and folly, or the connexions which these had formed, he observed, that he remembered her a very good, agreeable young woman. “But, ah! master, when women once begin going to the devil, they do not stop half way; first they are bashful and coy, and we must court them; but after men has once their own way, by jingo then they courts us, and are no more shamefaced.” ”

“ He and his comrade were instantly introduced; and Hamilton requested the hand of the charming hostess. Both gentleman and lady excelled in agility, grace, and justness of musical ear; and though all the other young people acquitted themselves extremely [268] well, yet no couple equalled, or nearly equalled, William and Maria.—In the course of their festive amusement, and in the intervals of rest, our hero did not fail to tell his fair partner how beautiful she was, how lovely, how irresistibly interesting. ”

“ Miss Sourkrout, after having in vain endeavoured to make Hamilton sensible of her sentiments, made some enquiries, in consequence of which, she learned his name, and also his approaching marriage with his partner, whom, in her own mind, she presently denounced for the severest vengeance. She did not doubt, that so very accomplished a gentleman must have been entrapped, before he could involve himself in marriage with a girl of so very inferior a fortune. ”

“ At the usual hour they arrived at Northallerton, and the father having pointed out his house, which was in the immediate neighbourhood, they came to the Inn, whence the squire declared he would see his new friend fairly set off, before Maria and he should walk home. They were sitting in a parlour, and, the squire having gone out, Hamilton very strongly expressed the delight which he had enjoyed from so charming a companion, and the eagerness with which he would avail himself of her respectable father’s friendly invitation. ”

“ Ignorant venders of nonsense or mischief I have not spared: I have represented an itinerant clown, a preacher of methodism, in those circumstances which reason may easily connect with such doctrines and talents; and which experience has woefully shewn to be closely connected with such doctrines and talents. ”

“ Dunce writers I represent as faithless and backbiting, towards other professional votaries of literature. At the same time, to prevent misapprehension, I carefully declare I do not impute these efforts of malignity, to [xv] any thing in dunces more rancorous than in other men. It arises merely from taking to an occupation, in which stupidity is not equal to genius; and from that principle of human nature, that makes us repine at the success of others, in a pursuit wherein we have failed, though the failure be owing to no bad fortune, or no unfair means, but simply to unfitness for the pursuit. ”

“ William however, though fully sensible to female charms, had not fixed his attentions on any particular object; or rather was the admirer of every pretty girl he saw, and of her most whom he had last beheld. Young as he was, he moreover possessed a very considerable discernment; and though he might be pleased for a time he could not be long interested, by any object that did not add good sense and sensibility to beauty. His cousin, minding mere external appearance, was captivated at first sight with our young hero ”

“ Though there may be no particular plot formed against innocence and happiness, yet nature and passion have contrived a general plot, which, carried on in such scenes and by such actors, rarely fails to produce the catastrophe. As, alas! all the human race is frail, the best and wisest of moral systems has strongly inculcated, that the surest means of avoiding vice is to keep from temptation. ”

“ Hamilton did not intend to seduce,—Jenny did not intend to be seduced;—but the result was the same as if there had been the deepest premeditation on either side. So true it is that instances occur in the history of love as well as of politics in [137] which killing is no murder [3] . Designed seduction, if followed to all its probable effects of vice and misery, is one of the greatest crimes that can be committed; and exceeded in hurtfulness by few affecting private individuals only, except murder. ”

“ In the work that I now offer to the public, from former experience of misinterpretation, I have been more scrupulously cautious to guard against any possibility of individual application. In the former novel, I merely took care not to copy a fool, a coxcomb, a debauchee, or a knave, or any other character of a ridiculous or bad kind, from any persons known to me for these qualifications. ”

“ Miss Sukey and Mrs. Betty having returned to the house, the pin-sticker expatiated with great severity on the wickedness of Hamilton, and finally declared him totally unworthy of the regard of her young lady. “Ah! my dear Miss Sukey, were I to give my humble opinion, I think he is nothing to come into compolisom with Mr. O’Rourke. Mr. Roger is both more taller and more properer; he has the fear of God before his eyes, he is in a state of grace, and is moreover the best built, best shouldered, [134] and best limbed man one can see in a summer’s day; he is consarned for the good of your soul. ”