Robert Bisset

“ He now rejoined Maria, who was dressed with simple, but most attractive loveliness, as a Nun, while William had from some whim taken it into his head to act the part of Ovid. The master of the art of love, at midnight, alone, even with a Nun herself, was dangerous company, tending to demonstrate the fragility of vows. Maria’s flutter had been increased rather than diminished, by the scenes of the masquerade; Mrs. Dicky had prevailed on her to take some lemonade, which most unaccountably had the same peculiarity of flavour that she had experienced in the fruit, liqueurs, wine, and coffee. ”

“ Hamilton turned to the place, and read as follows:
“My beloved Carolino,
How shall I communicate to you the fatal secret; alas! I am betrayed. I will not reproach you. I am betrayed into mistake by the soft sensibility of too [207] tender a heart. I cannot reproach you; I can only blame myself, and a worthless and malignant world. Ah! why (as the king of German moralists observes so strongly) should that be reckoned dishonourable in event which proceeds from no malevolent intention? Why should the indulgence of the sweetest of affections be reckoned a crime? ”

“ Hamilton here would have me give up the preaching, because it led me to bad courses, and to be sure, to confess the truth honestly, a methodist preacher has such temptations among the dear cratures, that flesh and blood cannot stand it. The saints are so warm and so loving, then there are so bewitching opportunities; there is the love feast, the holy kiss, and the spiritual communion in the dark ”

“ Returning to the Steyne, instead of the spectacles, we have now time and opportunity to observe its late spectators. A more lovely groupe is rarely to be seen; most charming women, with complexions freshened by healthy air and exercise, their nerves braced by that element, from which sprang the fair deity whom many of them equal in attractive beauty; their thoughts free from the anxious cares of the evening, when the momentous dice are to agitate the heart of eager expectants of a toy. ”

“ Mortimer uttering interjections, expressing his admiration and surprize, Scribble, farther to transport his wonder, went on: “Though neither a physician, nor a surgeon, I am more deeply skilled in midwifery than any professed practitioner of the obstetric art. Though not called to the bar, I know better than Erskine how counsellors ought to plead. Though no clergyman, I know how men of that profession ought to preach.” “Mr. Scribble’s extraordinary merit,” said Hamilton, “is the cause of no less extraordinary envy. ”

“ O Lord, there is little Tommy Titmouse, the famous coachman.” “Poor Titmouse,” said Hamilton, “he is a good-natured little creature, and encourages the breed of horses; therefore, he is not so totally useless as one is apt to think.” “Observe,” said Mortimer, “that tall military figure; that is a nobleman, who unites the hero, the scholar, the statesman, the philanthrophist, and the finished gentleman,—such as English nobility ought to be. ”

“ The desire of embroiling a couple of lovers added spurs to other motives for courting the acquaintance of our hero. To be sure he was far removed beneath the rank of one object that the Cockatrice wished to fascinate, but he was a gentleman destined, she understood, to be a counsellor; and though the good humour of her lord precluded any apprehensions that she could have occasion for the professional efforts of a legal orator in justificatory eloquence, she might have occasion for a champion that might conduct offensive efforts against the insolent assailants of a right honourable reputation. ”

“ Sir Edward waited upon Captain Mortimer, who learned with great surprize, and greater disappointment, that all hopes of his niece of becoming Lady Hamden were at an end, and though much attached to Hamilton, he repined at his having captivated Maria. Hamden, with the most liberal generosity, praised the talents and accomplishments, face, countenance, and figure of our hero, and declared he thought it impossible for any young lady, whose heart was unengaged, to refuse his addresses, as it was for any young man unengaged, not to love Maria. ”

“ She had soon discovered Louisa’s partiality for Hamilton, and having made particular enquiries, learned that though of small fortune, he was a man of amiable and estimable character, with talents and acquirements which must throw a lustre on any connection that he might form, and adorn any situation he might be called to fill. ”

“ It glided along all the eccentricities and easy extravagance of the French ingenuity, and was dragged through all the studied wildness of German labour. Genius relieved the marvellous by the probable, introduced its fanciful beings in circumstances which, diminishing or overpowering the incredible, gave full force to the appearance; while pains-taking dulness never failed to introduce such adjuncts and appendages as broke the spell, and shewed the improbable absurdity. Shakespeare could manage a ghost ”

“ Maria cannot be mine; and why should I repine that she is to be his, whom I value above all men.” He then asked, if Hamilton thought it was in any way in his power to promote the views and interests of two persons, whom he so very highly regarded? Hamilton, with considerable solemnity, answered, “Sir Edward Hamden, I came with the highest sense of your honor, magnanimity, and generosity, and by concert with Miss Mortimer, to open confidentially, whatever regards us, to one whom we both equally esteem. ”

“ In the evening, the young ladies staid at home, to prepare for a ball that was to be given in a day or two. The elderly part played a rubber at whist; Hamilton and Mortimer took a stroll to the library. At the door, they heard the voice of that worthy author, Richard [98] Scribble, exerted in a loud tone, that they soon found to be preceptorial; and entering, observed, that his back was towards them, while he accosted a lady of a pleasing countenance, expressing intelligence and sensibility, but tinged with a pensiveness that approached to melancholy. ”

“ Genius, ardent after novelty, will sometimes leave an old road, not because it may not lead it to its journey’s end, but because it is old. There was at this time a great disposition to literary innovation, that shewing itself on subjects of serious reasoning, religion, morality, and politics, was also manifest in works of amusement. ”

“ There comes a convulsion so delicate and nice, as to make a chasm large enough for the lovers, without being seen by any body else.” “A most civil and accommodating earthquake, indeed,” said Hamilton. “The lovers meet every night, and continue in an adjoining grove till morning, and often repeat their interviews. The effects of the earthquake become daily more visible: but the morality is marvellous and gigantesque, as well as the fable. ”

“ Lawhunt happening at this instant to go out, the Doctor said, “I do not like those kind of sneering animadversions, I have often hinted so.” “Come come, Scribby, do not be angry now.” “Nothing galls me so much as any reflection upon my talents; I should rather you would think me wicked than dull; I have been always labouring not to be thought dull.” “And an up-hill work it is,” said Hamilton. “Now, sir, I will not bear that,” said Scribble, “curse me if I do.” “Do not let it [289] get into a passion?” said Hamilton. “I must say you are an impertinent, insolent fellow,” replied Scribble. ”

“ To seduce the affections of married men, had nothing in it repugnant to the countess’s moral creed, either speculative or practical. It was indeed not to be expected, that she who so little regarded her duty to her husband, would [233] care for the duty of another man to his wife. If Hamilton married Maria, the wife might be a formidable and overpowering rival, but if he should wed the fortune of Miss Primrose, it would, she apprehended, be no difficult matter to retain a superior interest in his heart. ”

“ Maria now, at the request of Hamilton, favoured them with a song, which happened to be “One day I heard Mary say,” which she performed with exquisite taste and pathos, and appeared [118] to our hero to dwell with peculiar softness on the words, “I’ll never leave thee;” Hamilton thought he had never seen her so bewitching, and whispered to her, that he could live no longer without her; and that unless she consented to be immediately his, his reason, if not even his life, must pay the price of the delay. “Could you bear, my beloved Maria, to see me a miserable lunatic or a lifeless corpse?” ”

“ I tell you, Hamilton is not a clever fellow, and you, and whoever says he is,” continued Scribble, “only shew their own ignorance.” Scribble was warm with liquor, otherwise he would never have ventured to talk so cavalierly to his supreme employer in the book manufactory. Nincompoop was a cunning fellow; regarded his own set of authors merely as productive journeymen, and, as many saleable books could be compiled without learning or genius, the chief qualifications he sought, in the usual routine of his business, were laborious drudgery, and readiness of raking. ”

“ Hamilton informing him he himself was going to Brighton, said he would be very glad of his company; the soldier, with much pleasure, embracing this proposal, they set off. Hamilton, thoroughly confiding in the honest and intrepid countenance of his companion, asked him if he saw a fellow pass a little before he spoke; the other answered in the negative; but said, that though he had nothing to lose himself, hearing there were smugglers and footpads on the road between Hilsea and Arundel, he had brought a bayonet as well as a broad-sword, and that either of them were at his honour’s service. ”

“ When a young gentleman and a young lady, and another young gentleman and young lady, respectively, brothers and sisters, happen to be members of the same company, custom and politeness require that the chief attention should not be shewn to the nearest relation. Our youthful perambulators, on this occasion, found no difficulty in obeying those rules. John Mortimer prevailed on Miss Hamilton to take hold of his arm, while his fair sister graciously vouchsafed the same honour to our hero. ”

“ The passions, characters, and manners, are in this production natural, striking, and impressive; the fable in its principal constituents, sufficiently probable to interest the reader in the fortunes of the actors; the descriptions of external nature, perhaps too exuberant; but it is the exuberance of genius prompted by taste and sensibility, exquisitely susceptible of the beauties of nature; she cannot restrain her fancy from expatiating on subjects which have afforded to herself so delightful sensations and images. ”

“ Here, too, for those who prefer retirement to company, there are dark walks. On chosen evenings of supreme felicity, there are balls; which, presenting beaux and belles dressed at each other, dancing at each other, talking and simpering at each other, ogling at each other, squeezing at each other, and making assignations with each other, we shall pass over, as neither in the present operation, or future effects, containing any thing peculiar to Brighton, or which does not happen when ever beaux and belles join in so exhilarating a pastime. ”

“ I have in agitation a new theory on the sublime and beautiful, which will astonish the world. Longinus, Addison, Burke, Gerrard, Hutchinson, Hogarth, psha, they do very well to pass on superficial people, but I believe I must take the subject in hand myself.” “How do you like the eloquence of Mr. Fox,” said Dr. Wentbridge. “Why, tolerably well his speaking, eloquence you cannot call it. Fox is a good sensible man enough, but no orator.” “What is an orator,” said Dr. Wentbridge. “What is an orator,” replied our sage, “ask your nephew there. Hamilton, you remember my speech at the forum.” ”

“ Should a person’s sentimental susceptibility, instead of your wife or your daughter, fancy your purse or your watch, and under the influence of too ardent passion, happen to put his hand into your pocket, why not call this error a mistake? Or should the same susceptibility be turned towards your cups and spoons, and should its votary with two or three more as sentimental as himself, pay your house a nocturnal visit and elope with the beloved objects, why should not this error be called a mistake? ”

“ After tea, we accompany them to the place of destined resort for finishing the amusements of the day; perhaps to the theatre, where resorting for amusement, and not for criticism, we have a very good chance of being pleased. Contemplating the company, we find dress no more intended to cover than undress. We see the boxes quite a miniature of London, containing a number of people, the greater part of whom have met to converse, to look at one another and themselves, attending as little to the stage almost as if it were a pulpit, from which the preacher was inculcating moral virtue ”

“ For rapidly steering a literary bark to the gulph of oblivion, he knew no one could be better qualified than Dr. Scribble; indeed his very name had a Lethean effect, as it precluded the perusal of works, which a sight of the title-page associated [288] with the idea of nonsense. “Do you mean,” said our hero, “to put your name to it, Doctor?” “Oh certainly,” inter-posed Lawhunt, “we must have the Doctor’s name.” “Yes,” said the Doctor, “my name will have it’s weight; I believe I have published more volumes than any man of my age.” “Especially,” remarked Hamilton, “first editions.” ”

“ If a man seduces the sister, daughter, or wife of his friend, that is an error. If a woman leaves her husband for a gallant, the poor lady is in an error. Should a young lady, in the elegant periphrasis of modern novels, be a mother without being a wife, the unfortunate girl is in an error. However, I think Miss Lacecap’s phrase of mistake may answer the purpose as well, and may also suit in other kind affections as well as love. ”

“ Scribble prevailed on the company, though it was late, to look in at the library, hastily proceeded to the reading table, and taking up the Humbug, call out, “How shameful it is in those news-writers, that [66] a man of any eminence cannot move from one place to another, but they must make it public.” “What is the matter, Richard,” said Hamilton. “Read that paragraph.” We learn from Brighton that the celebrated Richard Scribble, Esq. delights and astonishes the frequenters of the rooms and libraries by the brilliancy of his wit, and the depth of his erudition. ”

“ As the general principle of gambling is to acquire our neighbour’s property without giving him an equivalent, raffling, as practised at the watering places, especially at Brighton, is dexterously calculated for picking the pockets of visitors, in order to fill the pockets of the inhabitants; and, indeed, is to Brighton shopkeepers a greater source of revenue than any other craft which they exercise, with all the benefit of monopoly and extortion. ”