Shakespeare

“ SURREY.
And reason good, Sir Roger Cholmley, too.
If these hot Frenchmen needsly will have sport,
They should in kindness yet defray the charge:
Tis hard when men possess our wives in quiet,
And yet leave us in, to discharge their diet.
SHREWSBURY.
My lord, our catours shall not use the market
For our provision, but some stranger now
Will take the vittailes from him he hath bought:
A carpenter, as I was late informed,
Who having bought a pair of doves in Cheap,
Immediately a Frenchman took them from him,
And beat the poor man for resisting him ”

“ FAULKNER.
My noble lord, Paniar Allies throat was open.
MORE.
Sirrah, hold your peace.
FAULKNER. I’ll prove the street was not choked, but is as well as ever it was since it was a street.
SHRIEVE.
This fellow was a principal broacher of the broil.
FAULKNER. ’Sblood, I broached none; it was broached and half run out, before I had a lick at it.
SHRIEVE.
And would be brought before no justice but your honor.
FAULKNER.
I am hailed, my noble lord.
MORE.
No ear to choose for every trivial noise
but mine, and in so full a time? Away! ”

“ Wit, judge not things by the outward show;
The eye oft mistakes, right well you do know:
Good Council assures thee upon his honesty,
That this is not Wisdom, but Lady Vanity.
[Enter Luggins with the beard.]
INCLINATION.
Oh, my lord, he is come; now we shall go forward.
MORE.
Art thou come? well, fellow, I have hoped to save thine honesty a
little. Now, if thou canst give Wit any better council than I have
done, spare not: there I leave him to they mercy. ”

“ Nay, sit, Erasmus;—sit, good my Lord of Surrey. I’ll make my lady
come to you anon, if she will, and give you entertainment.
ERASMUS.
Is this Sir Thomas More?
SURREY.
Oh good Erasmus, you must conceive his vain:
He’s ever furnished with these conceits.
RANDALL. Yes, faith, my learned poet doth not lie for that matter: I am neither more nor less than merry Sir Thomas always. Wilt sup with me? by God, I love a parlous wise fellow that smells of a politician better than a long progress.
[Enter Sir Thomas More.]
SURREY.
We are deluded; this is not his lordship. ”

“ WILLIAMSON. Trash, trash; they breed sore eyes, and tis enough to infect the city with the palsey.
LINCOLN. Nay, it has infected it with the palsey; for these bastards of dung, as you know they grow in dung, have infected us, and it is our infection will make the city shake, which partly comes through the eating of parsnips.
CLOWN.
True; and pumpkins together.
SERGEANT.
What say ye to the mercy of the king?
Do ye refuse it?
LINCOLN. You would have us upon this, would you? no, marry, do we not; we accept of the king’s mercy, but we will show no mercy upon the strangers. ”

“ PORTER. Amen; even as i wish to mine own soul, so speed it with my honorable lord and master, Sir Thomas More.
BUTLER. I cannot tell, I have nothing to do with matters above my capacity; but, as God judge me, if I might speak my mind, I think there lives not a more harmless gentleman in the universal world.
BREWER. Nor a wiser, nor a merrier, nor an honester; go to, I’ll put that in upon mine own knowledge.
PORTER. Nay, and ye bait him his due of his housekeeping, hang ye all! ye have many Lord Chancellor’s comes in debt at the year’s end, and for very housekeeping. ”

“ SHERWIN. It is not our lack of courage in the cause, but the strict obedience that we are bound to. I am the goldsmith whose wrongs you talked of; but how to redress yours or mine own is a matter beyond our abilities.
LINCOLN. Not so, not so, my good friends: I, though a mean man, a broker by profession, and named John Lincoln, have long time winked at these wild enormities with mighty impatience, and, as these two brethren here (Betts by name) can witness, with loss of mine own life would gladly remedy them. ”

“ To see a man thus hairy, thou shalt lie
In Newgate till thy vow and thy three years
Be full expired.—Away with him!
FAULKNER.
My lord—
MORE.
Cut off this fleece, and lie there but a month.
FAULKNER.
I’ll not lose a hair to be Lord Chancellor of Europe.
MORE.
To Newgate, then. Sirrah, great sins are bred
In all that body where there’s a foul head.
Away with him.
[Exeunt all except Randall.]
[Enter Surrey, Erasmus, and Attendants.]
SURREY.
Now, great Erasmus, you approach the presence
Of a most worthy learned gentleman:
This little isle holds not a truer friend
Unto the arts ”

“ LINCOLN.
Then, gallant bloods, you whose free souls do scorn
To bear the inforced wrongs of aliens,
Add rage to resolution, fire the houses
Of these audacious strangers. This is St. Martins,
And yonder dwells Mutas, a wealthy Piccardy,
At the Green Gate,
De Barde, Peter Van Hollocke, Adrian Martine,
With many more outlandish fugitives.
Shall these enjoy more privilege than we
In our own country? let’s, then, become their slaves.
Since justice keeps not them in greater awe,
We be ourselves rough ministers at law.
CLOWN. Use no more swords, nor no more words, but fire the houses ”

“ Thus fools oft times do help to mar the play.
[Exeunt all but players.]
WIT.
Fie, fellow Luggins, you serve us handsomely; do ye not, think ye?
LUGGINS. Why, Oagle was not within, and his wife would not let me have the beard; and, by my troth, I ran so fast that I sweat again.
INCLINATION. Do ye hear, fellows? would not my lord make a rare player? oh, he would uphold a company beyond all hope, better than Mason among the king’s players! Did ye mark how extemprically he fell to the matter, and spake Lugginses part almost as it is in the very book set down?
WIT. Peace; do ye know what ye say? ”

“ DOLL. Touch not Doll Williamson, least she lay thee along on God’s dear earth.—And you, sir [To Caveler] , that allow such coarse cates to carpenters, whilst pigeons, which they pay for, must serve your dainty appetite, deliver them back to my husband again, or I’ll call so many women to mine assistance as will not leave one inch untorn of thee: if our husbands must be bridled by law, and forced to bear your wrongs, their wives will be a little lawless, and soundly beat ye.
CAVELER. Come away, De Barde, and let us go complain to my lord ambassador. ”

“ FAULKNER. How long, my lord? why, sometimes thus long, sometimes lower, as the Fates and humors please.
MORE.
So quick, sir, with me, ha? I see, good fellow,
Thou lovest plain dealing. Sirrah, tell me now,
When were you last at barbers? how long time
Have you upon your head worn this shag hair?
FAULKNER. My lord, Jack Faulkner tells no Aesops fables: troth, I was not at barbers this three years; I have not been cut not will not be cut, upon a foolish vow, which, as the Destinies shall direct, I am sworn to keep. ”

“ We’ll straight go tell his highness these good news;
Withal, Shrieve More, I’ll tell him how your breath
Hath ransomed many a subject from sad death.
[Exit Shrewsbury and Cholmley.]
LORD MAYOR.
Lincoln and Sherwin, you shall both to Newgate;
The rest unto the Counters.
PALMER.
Go guard them hence: a little breath well spent
Cheats expectation in his fairest event.
DOLL. Well, Sheriff More, thou hast done more with thy good words than all they could with their weapons: give me thy hand, keep thy promise now for the king’s pardon, or, by the Lord, I’ll call thee a plain coney-catcher. ”

“ LORD MAYOR.
Believe me, Master Suresby, this is strange,
You, being a man so settled in assurance,
Will fall in that which you condemned in other.
MORE.
Well, Master Suresby, there’s your purse again,
And all your money: fear nothing of More;
Wisdom still keeps the mean and locks the door.
SCENE III. London. A state apartment. [Enter the Earls of Shrewsbury and Surrey, Sir Thomas Palmer, and Sir Roger Cholmley.] ”

“ WILLIAMSON.
I bought them in Cheapside, and paid my money for them.
SHERWIN. He did, sir, indeed; and you offer him wrong, both to take them from him, and not restore him his money neither.
CAVELER. If he paid for them, let it suffice that I possess them: beefs and brews may serve such hinds; are pigeons meat for a coarse carpenter?
LINCOLN. It is hard when Englishmen’s patience must be thus jetted on by strangers, and they not dare to revenge their own wrongs. ”

“ In youth is pleasure, in youth is pleasure.
MORE. Mark ye, my lord, this is Wit without a beard: what will he be by that time he comes to the commodity of a beard?
INCLINATION.
Oh, sir, the ground is the better on which she doth go;
For she will make better cheer with a little she can get,
Than many a one can with a great banquet of meat. ”

“ What ails your lordships look so melancholy?
Oh, I know; you live in court, and the court diet
Is only friend to physic.
SURREY.
Oh, Sir Thomas,
Our words are now the kings, and our sad looks
The interest of your love! We are sent to you
From our mild sovereign, once more to demand
If you’ll subscribe unto those articles
He sent ye th’ other day: be well advised;
For, on mine honor, lord, grave Doctor Fisher
Bishop of Rochester, at the self same instant
Attached with you, is sent unto the Tower
For the like obstinacy: his majesty
Hath only sent you prisoner to your house ”

“ SURREY.
The more knave Barde, that, using Sherwin’s goods,
Doth ask him interest for the occupation.
I like not that, my lord of Shrewsbury:
He’s ill bested that lends a well paced horse
Unto a man that will not find him meet. ”

“ INCLINATION. Indeed, so he does to Lady Vanity; but we have no folly in our play.
MORE. Then there’s no wit in ’t, I’ll be sworn: folly waits on wit, as the shadow on the body, and where wit is ripest there folly still is readiest. But begin, I prithee: we’ll rather allow a beardless Wit than Wit all beard to have no brain.
INCLINATION. Nay, he has his apparel on too, my lord, and therefore he is the readier to enter.
MORE.
Then, good Inclination, begin at a venter. ”

“ I would be loathe, good fellow, to take more.
Point me the block; I ne’er was here before.
HANGMAN.
To the east side, my lord.
MORE.
Then to the east
We go to sigh; that o’er, to sleep in rest.
Here More forsakes all mirth; good reason why;
The fool of flesh must with her frail life die.
No eye salute my trunk with a sad tear:
Our birth to heaven should be thus, void of fear.
[Exit with Hangman, etc.]
SURREY.
A very learned worthy gentleman
Seals error with his blood. Come, we’ll to court. ”

“ WIT.
Not Wit in the company of Lady Wisdom?
Oh Jove, for what do I hither come?
INCLINATION.
Sir, she did this nothing else but to prove
Whether a little thing would you move
To be angry and fret:
What, and if one said so?
Let such trifling matters go
And with a kind kiss come out of her debt.—
Is Luggins come yet with the beard?
[Enter another Player.]
PLAYER.
No, faith, he is not come: alas, what shall we do? ”

“ At your own pleasure; send the knave to Newgate.
FAULKNER.
To Newgate! ’sblood, Sir Thomas More, I appeal, I appeal from
Newgate to any of the two worshipful Counters.
MORE.
Fellow, whose man are you, that are thus lusty?
FAULKNER.
My name’s Jack Faulkner; I serve, next under God and my prince,
Master Morris, secretary to my Lord of Winchester.
MORE.
A fellow of your hair is very fit
To be a secretary’s follower!
FAULKNER. I hope so, my lord. The fray was between the Bishops’ men of Ely and Winchester; and I could not in honor but part them. ”

“ Aye, marry, did I, sir.
KIT.
I am very glad on ’t: you shall break mine too, and ye can.
HARRY.
Sirrah, I prithee, what art thou?
KIT. Why, I am a prentice as thou art; seest thou now? I’ll play with thee at blunt here in Cheapside, and when thou hast done, if thou beest angry, I’ll fight with thee at sharp in Moore fields. I have a sword to serve my turn in a favor. . . . come Julie, to serve . . . .
SCENE II. Saint Martins-le-Grand. [Enter Lincoln, two Bettses, Williamson, Sherwin, and other, armed; Doll in a shirt of mail, a headpiece, sword, and buckler; a crew attending.] ”

“ WIT.
This, Luggins, is your negligence;
Wanting Wit’s beard brought things into dislike;
For otherwise the play had been all seen,
Where now some curious citizen disgraced it,
And discommending it, all is dismissed.
VICE. Fore God, a says true. But hear ye, sirs: 8 angels, ha! my lord would never give 8 angels more or less for 12d; other it should be 3l, 5l, or ten li.; there’s 20s wanting, sure.
WIT.
Twenty to one, tis so. I have a trick: my lord comes; stand aside.
[Enter More, with Attendants with Purse and Mace.] ”

“ SURREY.
Farewell, my Lord of Rochester; we’ll pray
For your release, and labour’t as we may.
SHREWSBURY.
Thereof assure yourself; so do we leave ye,
And to your happy private thoughts bequeath ye.
[Exeunt Lords.]
ROCHESTER.
Now, Master Lieutenant, on; a God’s name, go!
And with as glad a mind go I with you
As ever truant bade the school adieu.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE V. Chelsea. A Room in More’s House. [Enter Sir Thomas More, his Lady, Daughters, Master Roper,
Gentlemen, and Servants, as in his house at Chelsea.]
MORE.
Good morrow, good son Roper.—
Sit, good madame,
[Low stools.] ”

“ Tis sin for to deserve that banishment;
But he that ne’er knew court, courts sweet content.
LADY MORE.
Oh, but, dear husband—
MORE.
I will not hear thee, wife;
The winding labyrinth of thy strange discourse
Will ne’er have end. Sit still; and, my good wife,
Entreat thy tongue be still; or, credit me,
Thou shalt not understand a word we speak;
We’ll talk in Latin.
Humida vallis raros patitur fulminis ictus,
More rest enjoys the subject meanly bred
Than he that bears the kingdom in his head.
Great men are still musicians, else the world lies ”

“ SHREWSBURY.
Lord Mayor, you hear your charge.—
Come, good Sir Thomas More, to court let’s hie;
You are th’ appeaser of this mutiny.
MORE.
My lord, farewell: new days begets new tides;
Life whirls bout fate, then to a grave it slides. ”