Summary

Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol…

And as the words of humid eloquence are distilled from his lips, we will wonder how we could unfold so sound, unvarnished a tale, and admit that painting spoils the lily and the rose, until weighed down by the profundity of magisterial love, we unconsciously droop to balmy slumber. And then we shall have Alderman Clancy, whose soft persuasive tones shall wake thunders of applause, as he extols the fighting glories of the Sixth, and promises that if the cable has necessity of gallant defenders, he knows a band ready to fight for it.
Source: Gutenberg

Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol…

They eat not as a matter of duty, but from absolute necessity. We are to have a municipal banquet on the first of September, to testify our joy at the successful laying of the Atlantic Cable; and the same gentlemen, who did the mourning over James Munroe, have kindly condescended to do our merriment over the cable. Our Aldermen have acute sensations; at one moment they are plunged in the depths of woe, at another they are frantic with delight. In a word, they do everything, even praise God, not in church, but at the Crystal Palace.
Source: Gutenberg

Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol…

Gross as this outrage may appear at the first blush, and intense as was the stupidity of the Long Island Dogberry, it can be daily paralleled by the actions of our own law courts, especially when we extract our police magistrates from barrooms and grogeries. Now one question: Have we one single police magistrate in this city who ever swept out a lawyers office, much less ever studied the profession? They are doubtlessly intelligent and well-meaning men, but then they are not lawyers, and consequently unfit to be entrusted with the custody of our personal independence.
Source: Gutenberg

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