“ It is exceedingly strange that any body of men, pretending to advocate retrenchment in our finances, will so barefacedly and undisguisedly seize upon a large sum of money belonging, as they honorably admit, to a most over-taxed municipality, and squander it for the least profitable of animal passions. Three thousand dollars could be better expended in a monument or other testimonial of our Cable joy, than to be guzzled down by a bevy of hungry hounds, who would have claimed boon-companionship with Judas Iscariot to get an invitation to the Last Supper. ”

“ Degrading as it may be to our personal pride, Peter Cooper, the Field family, and Archbishop John, to the contrary notwithstanding, the Atlantic Telegraph is essentially an English triumph; and in expending a large sum of money in an ebullition of passing insanity, our citizens have only rendered themselves subjects for merriment. Who will deny that, although the project of an Atlantic Telegraph was first broached on this side of the Atlantic, almost the entire credit of its success has been committed to British hands. ”

“ If any man hangs around a public house, dependent upon the charity of visitors for a drink, even if it be absolutely necessary to his health, he is commonly honored with the epithet of a “bummer;” but when a highly distinguished politician or other man, too indolent to do his own work and subsisting from the public till, hangs around the City Hall, awaiting the chances at the public table, we fail to recognize the similarity of his condition with the dry and athirst of the common tap-room. ”

“ We have thoroughly tested the question of an elective judiciary, both theoretically and practically, and we have arrived at one conclusion—that we obtain politicians instead of judges, and thereby jeopardize the very foundation of our national liberties. We have done more, and openly pandered to the lowest vice in suffering the right of ballot to be prostituted in order that the most unworthy of men may creep into the judiciary. ”

“ In both instances the principle is the same, and a man who dines at the public expense, even if it be in the name of Cyrus W. Field, is as much of a sucker as the lounger who insists upon participating with you in a smile. They are both paupers, and should be deservedly esteemed as such by an intelligent community. There is nothing like calling things by their proper names, although they may be distasteful to our so-called Reformers. ”

“ Will any man say that the City Court exists as a matter of necesity, or that the duties of the officers do not belong to other authorities? If not, why not erect a court-room and not compel its presiding dignitary to lounge a hanger-on the Court of Sessions. ”

“ We had believed that, when the iniquity of the tea-room was suppressed, and the bevy of loafers who were wont to breakfast, dine and sup from the free lunch of our Municipal tea-room, the whole fabrick of guzzling would be cast down, so that every intelligent and reputable man would conceive it a species of larceny to dine at the expense of the poverty-stricken tax-payers. ”

“ Branch were wealthy and in positions of influence, and it was therefore to be expected that justice should lean toward them, to the taking away of the rights of a citizen who could not boast of wealth. I assert, and without fear of truthful contradiction, that two-thirds of our community to-day sympathize with Mr. Branch, and look upon the course of the prosecution as a gross violation of their own individual rights, and such a violation as loudly calls for the indignation of the people ”

“ Our people have by this time purchased the significant lesson that it is impossible to create an elective judiciary, worthy of esteem and capable of discharging the onerous functions committed to their custody. ”

“ In the approaching constitutional convention, the question of an elective judiciary will be fairly at issue, and it is one duty that we owe to ourselves to re-organize the magistracy, that its ancient character for integrity and truth may be revived and perpetuated. ”

“ Verily, we live in a great age, have great city fathers, an illustrious Mayor and plenty of paint and putty.
Puttyman turned Merriman. The anecdotes of great man are the treasures of local history, and are generally presumed to lend some light upon the trivialities of State life. Daniel F. Tiemann is reported to have remarked, in a serious manner it must be observed, for Daniel is thought to be a teetotaller, and rarely dons the motley, that when the Lord Mayor of London hears of our celebration and burning of the City Hall, he would return the compliment by setting fire to the Mansion House. ”

“ If it be necessary to express our joy, why not do it in a rational manner, like men gifted with reason, and not guzzle and swill like beasts of the field? Still the invincible selfishness of our Aldermen demanded an Aldermanic banquet, whence a majority of our officials will in all probability be carried home on a shutter, if they do not succeed in procuring accommodations at the public expense in the Fifteenth Ward Station. ”

“ The people of England, who own the Telegraph, each end being limited to British soil, and the whole line under control of British capitalists, seem to have rejoiced over the success of the great event of the age in a most rational and sensible manner, while we have apparently gone mad with joy over an affair which, in nowise, can be construed into a national subject. ”

“ The People of the State of New York, represented in Senate and Assembly, do enact as follows:
Section 1. The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward, and election district in this State, at the annual election to be held in November next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots of the citizens of this State entitled to vote for members of the Legislature at such election. On such ballot shall be written or printed, or partly written and printed, by those voters who are in favor of a Convention, the words: “Shall there be a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the same? ”

“ This work of purification will probably be strenuously opposed by those of our politicians, who are dependent to the gangs of shoulder hitters, and brothel pimps, now infecting our city and rendering the elective franchise a political caricature. If we suffer this opportunity to escape us, we are unworthy the character of freemen, and deservedly the cellars of a judiciary, as incompent as it is useless, and as useless as it is expensive.
The Tail of the Cable. We have had our gay old time; our citizens have had fireworks, and crackers, and cheese ”

“ Peter should be a water-cure doctor.
A Wonderful Invention. Much has been said about the Albany Regency, whose lawgivers are Thurlow Weed, Seward & Co., but they cannot compare with our great Puttyman, Cooper, Draper & Co. For cunning reforms, soft soap and putty they have no competitors. While the former has dined on politicians, the latter has luxuriated on live alligators—of the short and long branch species—until they are looking fat and greasy. ”

“ We have no right to squander public moneys, no more than that of embezzling from private persons; still we are well aware that a different standard of morality governs the actions of officials from those of the same beings in a mercantile character. ”

“ Branch as a wholesale violation of the rights and privileges of the citizens of New York, and a violent outrage upon the spirit and tenor of our laws. For the first time in the history of our criminal jurisprudence, we find a man charged with the commission of an offence against our laws, arrested, indicted, tried, convicted, sentenced, and placed in the vilest servitude, all within the space of two short weeks. ”

“ Branch has been more sinned against than sinning. In conclusion I shall say, that, from what I have discovered of public opinion, it is high time that something should be done to rid ourselves of the present administration, and to put in office men who can be relied upon ”

“ There can be no doubt that this charitable ebullition of ettiquette will be accomplished, and were it not for the extreme modesty of the worshipful Tiemann, there is little doubt but that his Lordship would be induced to re-enact the part of Guy Fawkes, and throw in the two houses of Parliament by way of a superior pyrotechnical display. The thanks of the British public are unquestionably due Puttyman for his moderation, for were he to will it, the Atlantic Cable might require the immolation of Gog and Magog, and, peradventure, the importation of the Bow Bells. ”

“ Let us hope that the time will soon come 4when the rights of the community will be preserved, and their persons and property protected by an enlightened, intelligent and honorable judiciary.
Van.
The Genuine Cable. No single enterprise better illustrates the go-ahead-ativeness of Americans than the purchase by Messrs. Tiffany & Co., the Broadway jewellers, of the entire surplus of the Atlantic Telegraph Cable, left on board the Niagara. They have no possible use for it, beyond the selling of pieces as specimens to be preserved as curiosities ”

“ So the repairs to the City Hall are to be made by the jobbing system. The contract system, money-making as it is, is too liable to be exposed to the inspection and judgment of the people, but a large job that is split up into a dozen or more little ones and given out to as many individuals, pays better, and can be more secretly conducted ”

“ Is the evil to be longer endured, to be incessantly repeated, or are the people to take the matter in their own hands that we may divest ourselves from the burdens which Sinbad-like we are compelled to bear on our shoulders? ”

“ Strange, if True.—We read in the Herald the other day, that, in the opinion of that oracle, the successful laying of the Trans-atlantic Cable would change the whole moral aspect of human affairs—the Herald included. Now we must confess we do belong to that class of persons which believe that physical agency and morals are intimately allied, and that the great achievement of submerging the cable will produce more or less a moral effect. ”

“ And now that the reign of folly has past, and the festivity of the occasion wasted into air, a second, sober thought suggests to us that we have been manufacturing a very large quantity of excitement upon a very small capital ”

“ But that which is bred in the bone cannot come out from the skin, and this habit of dining is too deeply seated to be eradicated from these veterans at the public table. It would be a curious study for a statician to compute the amount of groceries, wet and dry, consumed by some of these well fed officials, and, when published, would afford a very instructive lesson in municipal economy. ”

“ JAMES DONNELLY’S COAL YARD—TWENTY-SIXTH street and Second Avenue. I always have all kinds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality, which I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United States.
JAMES DONNELLY. WILLIAM COULTER, CARPENTER.—I HAVE LONG been engaged as a Carpenter, and I assure all who will favor me with their patronage, that I will build as good houses, or anything else in my line, as any other carpenter in the city of New York. I will also be as reasonable in charges for my work as any other person. ”

“ With respect to the merits of this cable, Franklin bottled lightning, Morse discovered the telegraph principle, Maury the telegraph plateau, and Cyrus, with the assistance of Brooks, put the two together, for commercial purposes, for which Cyrus is to be glorified forever, while Franklin, Morse and Maury are forgotten. The whole cost of the cable celebration, to the city, will not fall much short of $150,000. Cold winter will soon be here, and thousands cold and hungry, without the means to supply themselves with food and fuel ”

“ When other occupations are gone. Mr. Puttyman, from this specimen of jocularity, is entitled to a front seat in the saw dust.
Eureka.—There having been great inquiry made as to whom the statue in the City Hall Park represents, we are happy to inform the inquisitive that we learn by a dispatch sent us by the Atlantic Telegraph, that it is the fac simile of the great Puttyman.
A Greater Union than the Telegraph.—The political junction between Peter Cooper and Tiemann. The cable can’t stand comparison with the cement of putty and glue. ”

“ We are equally doubtful whether the successful laying of two cables and a half dozen other scientific victories much greater than anything that has yet transpired, could produce an improvement in the moral character of the Herald. ”

“ No.” Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a caption, stating the day on which, and the number of the district, the town or ward, and the county at which the election was held, and at the end thereof a certificate that such statement is correct in all respects, which certificate shall be subscribed by all the inspectors, and a true copy of such statement shall be immediately filed by them in the office of the clerk of the town or city. ”

“ Puttyman in his new character of Merriman, is highly creditable to a new beginner, and we have little doubt that after a suitable intellectual training by Mr. Gossin, and a few stray tricks from Signor Carlo, he will be able to perform a creditable engagement with Dan Rice. ”