“ Put not thy fingers in thy dish,
Neither in flesh, neither in fish.
Put not thy meat into the salt,
Into the cellar, that is a fault; [56]
But lay it fairly thee before,
Upon thy trencher, that is good lore.
Pick not thine ears nor thy nostrils;
If thou do, men will say thou come of churls.
And while thy meat in thy mouth is,
Drink thou not—forget not this.
Eat thy meat by small morsels too,
18Fill not thy mouth, as brothels [57] do.
Pick not thy teeth with thy knife.
In no company begin thou strife.
And when thou hast thy pottage done,
Out of thy dish thou put thy spoon. ”

“ And if your wife be meek and good, and serve you well and pleasantly, look ye be not so mad as to charge her too grievously, but rule her with a fair hand and easy, and cherish her for her good deeds. For a thing unskilfully overdone makes needless grief to grow, and it is better to have a meal’s meat of homely fare with peace and quiet, than an hundred dishes with grudging and much care. And therefore learn this well that if you want a wife to your ease, take her never the more for the riches she may have, though she might endow you with lands. ”

“ JOHN RUSSELL’S BOOK OF NURTURE “IN nomine Patris, God keep me, et Filii, for charity, Et Spiritus Sancti, where that I go by land or else by sea!
An usher I am ye may behold to a prince of high degree, That enjoys to inform and teach all those that would thrive in prosperity.”
48Should I meet with any man who either through inexperience or through negligence knows naught of such things as I shall hereafter diligently show, for my conscience’ sake I will instruct him; for methinks it is charitable to teach virtue and good manners, in which most youths are barren and dull. ”

“ And set thy trencher thee before,
And sit upright for any sore.
81Spare bread or wine, drink or ale,
Till thy mess from the kitchen be set in hall,
Lest men say thou art hunger-beaten,
Or all men know thee for a glutton.
Look thy nails be clean, in truth,
Lest thy fellow loathe them, forsooth.
Bite not thy bread and lay it down,
That is no courtesy to use in town.
As much as thou wilt eat, that break,
The remnant left the poor shall take. ”

“ Will you be a serving-man, a ploughman, a labourer, a courtier, a clerk, a merchant, a mason or an artificer, a chamberlain, a butler, a panter or a carver?”
50“Teach me, sir, the duties of a butler, a panter or a chamberlain, and especially, the cunning of a carver. If you will make me to know all these, I will pray for your soul that it come never in pain!” ”

“ Other ranks you may set four to a mess, of persons equal to a squire in dignity, serjeants-at-law and ex-mayors of London, the masters of Chancery, all preachers, residencers, and parsons, apprentices of the law, merchants and franklins—these may sit properly at a squire’s table.
“Each estate shall sit at meat by itself, not seeing the others, at meal-time or in the field or in the town; and each must sit alone in the chamber or in the pavilion. ”

“ Take your salt with a clean knife.
Be cool of speech and quarrel not, nor backbite a man who is away, but be glad to speak well of all. Hear and see and say nothing, then shall ye not be put to proof.
Hold you pleased with the meat and drink set before you, nor ask for better. Wipe your mouth before you drink lest it foul the edge of the cup; and keep your fingers, your lips and your chin clean, if you would win a good name. When your meat is in your mouth, do not drink or speak or laugh—Dame Courtesy forbids. ”

“ Good manners always make good men. [41]
Look wisely to your betters ay,
Do them reverence as you may;
But do ye none, sit all in row,
Unless ye them for betters know.
When you are set before the meat,
Fair and honestly it eat.
First, look ye that your hands be clean,
And that your knife be sharp and keen;
Then cut your bread and all your meat,
Even when you set to eat.
If you sit by a worthier man
Than ye yourself well reckon can,
Suffer him first and do not let [42]
That he before you meat should get.
For the best piece do not strike [43]
Though you never so well it like. ”

“ If thy child be set with his betters, let his hand be last in the dish. And that he do it not at all, unless he be first bidden. Neither suffer your children to put their hands or fingers into broths, sauces, caudles, or such like, at the table especially. Otherwise, let correction bridle their wantonness.
If he be of sensible years, let him forbear his fingers in a dish, and use a knife without choosing at his pleasure; for it is unseemly.
Homer often reprehendeth sauciness in these or such-like words. They boldly put their hands into the meat that is set before them. ”

“ Good son, do not pick your teeth, or grind, or gnash them, or with puffing and blowing cast foul breath upon your lord.... These gallants in their short coats—that is ungoodly guise. Other faults on this matter, I spare not to disapprove in my opinion, when [a servant] is waiting on his master at table. Every sober sovereign must despise all such things.
“A man might find many more conditions than are named here; but let every honest servant avoid them for his own credit.
“Panter, yeoman of the cellar, butler and ewerer, I will that ye obey the marshal, sewer and carver.” ”

“ If you see your lord and lady speaking of household matters, leave them alone, for that is courtesy, and interfere not with their doing; but be ready, without feigning, to do your lord service, and so shall you get a good name.
Also, to fetch him drink, to hold the light when it is time, and to do whatsoever ought to be done, look ye be ready; for so shall ye full soon get a gentle name in nurture. And if you should ask a boon of God, you can desire no better thing than to be well-mannered. ”

“ Tasting is done only for those of royal blood, as pope, emperor, empress, cardinal, king, queen, prince, archbishop, duke or earl—none other that I call to remembrance. It is done for fear of poison, so let each man in office keep his room secure and close his safe, [164] chest and storehouse for fear of conspiracy.
“The steward and chamberlain of a prince of the blood must know about homages, services and fewte; [165] and as they have the oversight of all other offices and of the tasting, they must tell the marshal, sewer or carver, how to do it; and he must be in no fear when he tasteth. ”

“ My son, take good heed every morning, ere ye do worldly thing, lift up your heart to God, and pray as devoutly as you can for grace to lead a good life, and to escape sin both night and day, and that heaven’s bliss may be your meed. ”

“ If your lord is pleased to offer you his own cup to drink, rise when you take it, and receive it goodly with both your hands, and when you have done, proffer it to no man else, but render it again to him that brought it, for in nowise should it be used commonly—so wise men teach us.
Now must I tell you shortly what you shall do at noon when your lord goes to his meat. Be ready to fetch him clear water, and some of you hold the towel for him until he has done, and leave not until he be set down, and ye have heard grace said. ”

“ A singular fact to be noted in the English courtesy books is the almost complete absence of allusions to women. Barring the Good Wife and Wise Man, which are distinctly middle class in tone, we have practically nothing to represent the elaborate directions for conduct in some of the foreign treatises. Yet it cannot be doubted that the English system of patronage led to social problems and rules for the demeanour of young men and women together, such as prevailed abroad. ”

“ When your better hands you a cup, take it with both hands lest it fall, and drink yourself and set it by; and if he speaks to you, doff your cap and bow your knee.
Do not scratch yourself at the table so that men call you a daw, [69] nor wipe your nose or nostrils, else men will say you are come of churls. Make neither the cat nor the dog your fellow at the table. And do not play with the spoon, or your trencher, or your knife; but lead your life in cleanliness and honest manners. ”

“ To rub the gum with salt or alum is injurious.... If anything sticks to the teeth, you must get it out, not with a knife, or with your nails after the manner of dogs and cats, or with your napkin, but with a toothpick, or quill or small bone taken from the tibias of cocks or hens. To wash the mouth in the morning with pure water is both mannerly and healthful; to do it often is foolish.” Indeed, Erasmus’s treatise is only a superior book of courtesy. ”

“ An usher or marshal, without fail, must know all the estates of the Church, and the excellent estate of a king with his honourable blood. This is a notable nurture, cunning, curious and commendable.
“The estate of the Pope has no peer, an emperor is next him everywhere and a King is correspondent, a high cardinal next in dignity, then a King’s son (ye call him prince) , an archbishop his equal; a duke of the blood royal; a bishop, marquis and earl coequal; a viscount, legate, baron, suffragan and mitred abbot; a baron of the exchequer, the three chief justices and the Mayor of London ”

“ Cut your bread with your knife and break it not. Lay a clean trencher [20] before you, and when your pottage is brought, take your spoon and eat quietly; and do not leave your spoon in the dish, I pray you.
Look ye be not caught leaning on the table, and keep clear of soiling the cloth.
Do not hang your head over your dish, or in any wise drink with full mouth.
Keep from picking your nose, your teeth, your nails at meal-time—so we are taught.
Advise you against taking so muckle meat into your mouth but that ye may right well answer when men speak to you. ”

“ Do not cut your meat like field-men who have such an appetite that they reck not in what wise, where or when or how ungoodly they hack at their meat; but, sweet children, have always your delight in courtesy 8and in gentleness, and eschew boisterousness with all your might.
When cheese is brought, have a clean trencher, on which with a clean knife ye may cut it; and in your feeding look ye appear goodly, and keep your tongue from jangling, for so indeed shall ye deserve a name for gentleness and good governance, and always advance yourself in virtue. ”

“ When ye have done, break your fast with good meat and drink, but before eating cross your mouth, your diet will be the better for it. Then say your grace—it occupies but little time—and thank the Lord Jesus for your food and drink. Say also a Pater Noster and an Ave Maria for the souls that lie in pain, and then go labour as you are bound to do. Be not idle, for Holy Scripture says to you of Christian faith that if you work, you must eat what you get with your hands. [67] A man’s arms are for working as a bird’s wings for flying. ”

“ In cutting and placing bread, and voiding of crumbs and trencher, look you have skill with two fingers and the thumb. Likewise, never use more for fish, flesh, beast or fowl—that is courtesy.
“Touch no manner of meat with thy right hand, but with thy left, as is proper. Always with thy left hand grasp the loaf with all thy might; and hold thy knife firmly, as I have instructed thee. Ye do not right to soil your table, nor to wipe your knives on that, but on your napkin. ”

“ Put your napkin in the voider, for it is courtesy.
140Be gentle alway and good to please, be it night or day,
With tongue and hand, be not ’ragious; [348] let reason rule alway.
When the meat is taken up and the table-cloth made clean,
Then take heed of grace, and to wash yourself demean.
And while grace is saying, see ye make no noise;
Thank God of your fare, to your sovereign give praise.
When ye perceive to rise, say to your fellows all,
“Much good do it you,” gently, then gentle, men will you call. ”

“ The whole fabric of the romances was based upon the intricate system of “courtesy” as here set forth, and John Russell furnishes an interesting comment xiion Chaucer and his school, as do Rhodes and Seager and Weste on the writers of the sixteenth century. Finally, among these treatises, there is many a plum by the way for the seeker of proverbs, curious lore, superstitions, literary oddities. And as comparatively few people have time or inclination to worry through antiquated English, Dr. Furnivall has long wished that the substance of his collections might be presented in modern form. ”

“ A young nobleman had to be instructed not only how to hold his carving-knife with a thumb and two fingers, but also not to dip his meat into the salt-cellar, or lick the dust out of dish with his tongue, or wipe his nose on the table-cloth ”

“ If the parents of a pope or cardinal be still alive, they must in no wise presume to be equal to their son, either sitting or standing. The estate of their son will not allow them either to sit or stand by him—nor should they desire it; wherefore they should have a separate chamber assigned to them.
“A marshal must look to the birth of each estate, and arrange officers such as chancellor, steward, chamberlain, treasurer, according to their degree. ”

“ Let not a child drink above twice or thrice at the most at one meal, and that gently, and not without reason: who bestoweth wine and beer on his child beyond reason, deformeth and abuseth him more by dishonouring his reason, and provoking him to an unreasonable diet. ”

“ In the household xxof Lord Percy there were nine young “henchmen” who served him as cup-bearers and in various other capacities. To these he allowed servants, one for each two, unless they were “at their friends’ finding,” in which case they might have one apiece. Likewise, in his household, his second son was carver, his third, sewer.
But while in a rich man’s household, younger sons might receive as good a training as if they had been sent elsewhere for the purpose, the case of the younger sons of a poor gentleman might be sufficiently wretched. ”

“ My lief child.
40And if thou art a rich wife, be not then too hard,
But welcome fair thy neighbours that come to-thee-ward
With meat, drink, and honest cheer, such as thou mayest bid, [105]
To each man after his degree, and help the poor at need.
And also for hap that may betide,
Please well thy neighbours that dwell thee beside,
My lief child.
Daughter, look that thou beware, whatsoever thee betide,
Make not thy husband poor with spending or with pride.
A man must spend as he may that hath but easy good, [106]
For as a wren hath veins, men must let her blood. ”