Thomas Dekker

“ In my soule and conscience, and well fauoured enough to be a Lady: heere is sir Kintilian Sorthose, and heere is sir Adam Prickshaft, a sentleman of a very good braine, and well headed: you see he shootes his bolt sildome, but when Adam lets goe, he hits: and heere is sir Vaughan ap Rees, and I beleeue if God sud take vs all from his mercy, as I hope hee will not yet; we all three loue you, at the bottome of our bellyes, and our hearts: and therefore mistris Mineuer, if you please, you shall be knighted by one of vs, whom you sall desire to put into your deuice and minde. ”

“ Nay, sweare not so good Horace, now these Ladies,
Are made your executioners: prepare,
To suffer like a gallant, not a coward;
Ile trie t’ vnloose, their hands, impossible.
Nay, womens vengeance are implacable.
Hor. Why, would you make me thus the ball of scorne?
Tuc. Ile tell thee why, because th’ ast entred Actions of assault and battery, against a companie of honourable and worshipfull Fathers of the law: you wrangling rascall, law is one of the pillers ath land, and if thou beest bound too’t (as I hope thou shalt bee) thou’t prooue a skip-Jacke, thou’t be whipt. ”

“ Tis law within a man; the seale of faith,
The bond of euery conscience; vnto whom,
We set our thoughts like hands: yea, such a one
I swore, and to the King: A King containes
A thousand thousand; ”

“ Good Horace, no; my cheekes doe blush for thine,
As often as thou speakst so, where one true
And nobly-vertuous spirit, for thy best part
Loues thee, I wish one ten, euen from my heart.
I make account I put vp as deepe share
In any good mans loue, which thy worth earnes,
As thou thy selfe; we enuy not to see,
Thy friends with Bayes to crowne thy Poesie.
No, heere the gall lyes, we that know what stuffe
Thy verie heart is made of; know the stalke
On which thy learning growes, and can giue life
To thy (once dying) basenes; yet must we
Dance Antickes on your Paper. ”

“ World, if thy Hugenes will beleiue this: doe, if not, I care not: for I dedicate my booke not to thy Greatnes, but to the Greatnes of thy scorne: Defying which, let that mad Dog Detraction bite till his teeth bee worne to the stumps: Enuy feede thy Snakes so fat with poyson till they burst: World, let all thy Adders shoote out their Hidra-headed-forked Stinges, Ha, Ha, Nauci; if none will take my part, (as I desire none) yet I thanke thee (thou true Venusian Horace) for these good wordes thou giu’st me: Populus me sibylat at mihi plaudo. ”

“ Lookes fresh, when all our other beauty’s gone. ”

“ Er ist nicht mehr der ruhmredige, prahlende Tucca des Poetasters, der die Reihe Shift (i. Ev. Man out) und Bobadil (i. Ev. Man in) schliesst; seine Stärke ist der Gebrauch derber Redensarten geworden, und er steht ganz im Dienste der Poetaster, deren wahres Sprachrohr er ist.
Nicht unerwähnt soll schliesslich die grosse Ähnlichkeit bleiben, welche in den Charakteren des Asinius Bubo und des Simplicius Faber aus What you will herrscht. Hinsichtlich seiner, des Bubo, Persönlichkeit müssen wir wohl mit Small [27] vermuten, dass er ein dienender Jünger des Horace-Jonson war ”

“ God neuer gaue me the grace to be a Lady, yet I ha beene worshipt in my conscience to my face a thousand times, I cannot denye sir Vaughan, but that I haue all implements, belonging to the vocation of a Lady. ”

“ Now wooe the ayre agen, this is the houre,
Writ in the Calender of time, this houre,
Musicke shall spend, the next and next the Bride;
Her tongue will read the Musicke-Lecture: Wat
I loue thee Wat, because thou art not wise;
Not deep-read in the volume of a man,
Thou neuer sawst a thought, poore soule thou thinkst,
The heart and tongue is cut out of one peece,
But th’art deceau’d, the world hath a false light,
Fooles thinke tis day, when wise men know tis night.
Enter Sir Quintilian.
Sir quint. My Leige, they’re come, a maske of gallants.
King. Now——the spirit of Loue vshers my bloud. ”

“ King Williams, I hope tis none offences to make a supplication to god a mightie for your long life: for by shesu I haue no meaning in’t in all the world, vnles rascalls be here that will haue your grace take shalke for shees, and vnlesse Horace has sent lyce to your maiesty.
King. Horace, what’s he sir Vaughan?
Vaugh. As hard-fauourd a fellow as your maiestie has seene in a sommers day: he does pen, an’t please your grace, toyes that will not please your grace ”

“ Now Master Horace, you must be a more horrible swearer, for ’your oath must be (like your wittes) of many collours; and like a Brokers booke of many parcels.
Tuc. Read, read; th’inuentory of his oath.
Hor. Ile sweare till my haire stands vp an end, to bee rid of this sting, oh this sting!
Sir Vau. Tis not your sting of conscience, is it?
Tuc. Vpon him: Inprimis.
Sir Vaugh. Inprimis, you shall sweare by Phœbus and the halfe a score Muses lacking one: not to sweare to hang your selfe, if you thought any Man, Ooman or Silde, could write Playes and Rimes, as well-fauour’d ones as your selfe. ”

“ Tuc. Saist thou me so, olde Coale? come doo’t then; yet tis no matter neither, Ile haue thee in league first with these two rowly powlies: they shal be thy Damons and thou their Pithyasse; Crispinus shall giue thee an olde cast Sattin suite, and Demetrius shall write thee a Scene or two, in one of thy strong garlicke Comedies; and thou shalt take the guilt of conscience for’t, and sweare tis thine owne olde lad, tis thine owne: thou neuer yet fels’t into the hands of sattin, didst? ”

“ I could heere (eeuen with the feather of my pen) wipe off other ridiculous imputations: but my best way to answer them, is to laugh at them: onely thus much I protest (and sweare by the diuinest part of true Poesie) that (howsoeuer the limmes of my naked lines may bee and I know haue bin, tortur’d on the racke) they are free from conspiring the least disgrace to any man, but onely to our new Horace; neyther should this ghost of Tucca, haue walkt vp and downe Poules Church-yard, but that hee was raiz’d vp (in print) by newe Exorcismes. ”

“ Neuer Captaine I thanke God.
Tuc. Goe too, thou shalt now King Gorboduck, thou shalt, because Ile ha thee damn’d, Ile ha thee all in Sattin: Asper, Criticus, Quintus, Horatius, Flaccus, Crispinus shal doo’t, thou shalt doo’t, heyre apparant of Helicon, thou shalt doo’t.
Asi. Mine Ingle weare an olde cast Sattin suite?
Tuc. I wafer-face your Ningle.
Asi. If he carry the minde of a Gentleman, he’ll scorne it at’s heeles. ”

“ An oath? why, what’s an oath? tis but the smoake,
Of flame & bloud; the blister of the spirit,
Which rizeth from the Steame of rage, the bubble
That shootes vp to the tongue, and scaldes the voice,
(For oathes are burning words) thou swor’st but one,
Tis frozen long agoe: if one be numbred,
What Countrimen are they? where doe they dwell,
That speake naught else but oathes?
Ter. They’re men of hell.
An oath? why tis the trafficke of the soule,
Tis law within a man ”

“ That same Horace me thinkes has the most vngodly face, by my Fan; it lookes for all the world, like a rotten russet Apple, when tis bruiz’d: Its better then a spoonefull of Sinamon water next my heart, for me to heare him speake; hee soundes it so i’ th nose, and talkes and randes for all the world, like the poore fellow vnder Ludgate: oh fye vpon him. ”

“ Capten, if I doe——
Tuc. Nay and thou dost, hornes of Lucifer, the Parcell-Poets shall Sue thy wrangling Muse, in the Court of Pernassus, and neuer leaue hunting her, till she pleade in Forma Pauperis: but I hope th’ast more grace: come: friendes, clap handes, tis a bargaine; amiable Bubo, thy fist must walke too: so, I loue thee, now I see th’art a little Hercules, and wilt fight ”

“ No, I thinke if loue should bee turn’d away, and goe to serue any beast, it must bee an Ape, and my reason——
Sir Vaugh. Sir Adam, an Ape? ther’s no more reason in an Ape, than in a very plaine Monkey; for an Ape has no tayle, but we all know, or tis our duty to know, loue has two tailes; In my sudsment, if loue be a beast, that beast is a bunce of Reddis; for a bunce of Reddis is wise meate without Mutton, and so is loue.
Mi. Ther’s the yawning Captaine (sauing your reuerence that has such a sore mouth) would one day needes perswade me, that loue was a Rebato ”

“ It’s no matter Sir, the Flashes haue euer bin knowne to be quicke and light enough.
Sir quin. Sir Vaughan, he shal follow you, he shall dog you good Sir Vaughan.
Enter Horace walking.
Sir Vau. Why then Peter Flash I will set my foure markes a yeare, and a blew coate vpon you.
Fla. Godamercy to your worship, I hope you shall neuer repent for me.
Sir Vau. You beare the face of an honest man, for you blush passing well Peter, I will quench the flame out of your name, and you shall be christned Peter Salamander. ”

“ Could neuer lift him vp with their poore powers.
Enter Cælestine.
But backward runnes the course of my delight;
The day hath turn’d his backe, and it is night;
This night will make vs odde; day made vs eeuen,
All else are damb’d in hel, but I in heauen.
Cæ. Let loose thy oath, so shall we still be eeuen.
Ter. Then am I damb’d in hell, and not in heauen.
Cæl. Must I then goe? tis easie to say no,
Must is the King himselfe, and I must goe;
Shall I then goe? that word is thine; I shall,
Is thy commaund: I goe because I shall;
Will I then goe? I aske my selfe ”

“ Which stands vpon this supreame head, be faire,
And helde inualuable, and that crowne’s the Haire:
The head that wants this honour stands awry,
Is bare in name and in authority.
Sir Vau. He meanes balde-pates Mistris Miniuers.
Hor. Haire, tis the roabe which curious nature weaues,
To hang vpon the head: and does adorne,
Our bodies in the first houre we are borne:
God does bestow that garment: when we dye,
That (like a soft and silken Canopie)
Is still spred ouer vs; In spight of death
Our hayre growes in our graue, and that alone
Lookes fresh, when all our other beauty’s gone. ”

“ Lord ha mercy on vs, we women fall and fall still, and when we haue husbands we play upon them like Virginall Jackes, they must ryse and fall to our humours, or else they’l neuer get any good straines of musicke out of vs; but come now, haue at it for a mayden-head. ”

“ I ioyntly take my leaue of thee and life,
Goe, tell the King thou hast a constant wife.
Ter. I had a constant wife, Ile tell the King;
Vntill the King—what dost thou smile? art thou
A Father?
Sir quin. Yea, smiles on my cheekes arise,
To see how sweetly a true virgin dyes.
Enter Blunt, Crispinus, Fannius, Philocalia, Dicache, Petula, lights before them.
Cris. Sir Walter Terrill, gallants are all ready?
Ter. All ready.
Dem. Well said, come, come, wher’s the Bride?
Ter. She’s going to forbid the Banes agen.
She’ll dye a maide: and see, she keeps her oath.
All the men. Faire Cælestine! ”

“ They grieue to lye alone.
Asini. So doe I by Venus.
Hor. Yet with kisses wil they fee thee, my Muse has marcht (deare roague) no farder yet: but how ist? how ist? nay prethee good Asinius deale plainly, doe not flatter me, come, how?—
Asin. If I haue any iudgement:
Hor. Nay look you Sir, and then follow a troope of other rich and labour’d conceipts, oh the end shall be admirable! but how ist sweet Bubo, how, how?
Asini. If I have any Iudgement, tis the best stuffe that euer dropt from thee.
Hor. You ha seene my Acrosticks?
Asi. Ile put vp my pypes and then Ile see any thing. ”

“ When we come to your yeares, we shal learne what honesty is, come pew-fellow.
Exeunt.
Sir quin. Is the musicke come yet? so much to do! Ist come?
Omnes. Come sir.
Sir quin. Haue the merry knaues pul’d their fiddle cases ouer their instruments eares?
Flash. As soone as ere they entred our gates, the noyse went, before they came nere the great Hall, the faint hearted villiacoes sounded at least thrice.
Sir quin. Thou shouldst haue reuiu’d them with a Cup of burnt wine and sugar; sirra, you, horse-keeper, goe, bid them curry theyr strings: Is my daughter vp yet? ”

“ Welches sind denn die literarischen Dokumente, auf welchen sich der Streit aufbauen lässt? Small hat sie bereits (p. 3 ff.) zusammengestellt:
1. Äusserungen Jonson’s über Marston in seinen Conversations mit Drummond, 2. der Apologetical Dialogue am Ende des Poetasters, 3. To the World, Worte, welche dem Satiromastix vorangeschickt sind, 4. die oft zitierte Stelle aus II. Return from Parnassus, IV, 5: ... our fellow Shakespeare hath given him (Ben Jonson) a purge that made him beray his credit. ”

“ If I had as many Mayden-heads, as I have hayres on my head, Ide venture them all rather then to come into so hot a place; prethy strew thou, for my little armes are weary.
1. I am sure thy little tongue is not.
2. No faith that’s like a woman bitten with fleas, it neuer lyes stil: fye vpont, what a miserable thing tis to be a noble Bride, there’s such delayes in rising, in fitting gownes, in tyring, in pinning Rebatoes, in poaking, in dinner, in supper, in Reuels, & last of all in cursing the poore nodding fidlers, for keeping Mistris Bride so long vp from sweeter Reuels ”

“ Perdie sir Vaughan I cannot dance.
Vaugh. Perdie by this Miniuer cappe, and acording to his masesties leaue too, you sall be put in among theise Ladies, & daunce ere long I trest in god, the saking of the seetes.
They daunce a straine, and whilst the others keepe on, the King and Celestine stay.
Kin. That turne faire Bride shews you must turne at night,
In that sweet daunce which steales away delight.
Cæl. Then pleasure is a theife, a fit, a feauer.
Kin. True, he’s the thiefe, but women the receiuer.
Another change; they fall in, the rest goe on. ”

“ Sir Vau. The same M. Horace, he that has but a remnant or parcell of haire, his crowne is clipt and par’d away; me thinkes tis an excellent quallitie to bee balde; for and there stucke a nose and two nyes in his pate, he might weare two faces vnder one hood.
Asi. As God saue me la, if I might ha my will, Ide rather be a balde Gentleman then a hairy; for I am sure the best and tallest Yeomen in England haue balde heads: me thinkes haire is a scuruie lowsie commodity.
Hor. Bubo, heerein you blaze your ignorance.
Sir Vau. Pray stop and fill your mouthes, and giue M. Horace all your eares. ”

“ O holde, most pittifull Captaine holde.
Hor. Holde Capten, tis knowne that Horace is valliant, & a man of the sword.
Tuc. A Gentleman or an honest Cittizen, shall not Sit in your pennie-bench Theaters, with his Squirrell by his side cracking nuttes; nor sneake into a Tauerne with his Mermaid; but he shall be Satyr’d, and Epigram’d vpon, and his humour must run vpo’th Stage: you’ll ha Euery Gentleman in’s humour, and Euery Gentleman out on’s humour: wee that are heades of Legions and Bandes, and feare none but these same shoulder-clappers, shall feare you, you Serpentine rascall. ”

“ Musicke talke lowder, that thy siluer voice,
May reach my Soueraignes eares.
Sir Vaug. I pray doe so, Musitions bestir your fingers, that you may haue vs all by the eares.
Sir quin. His Grace comes, a Hall varlets, where be my men? blow, blow your colde Trumpets till they sweate; tickle them till they sound agen.
Blun. Best goe meete his Grace.
All. Agreed.
Sir Vaug. Pray all stand bare, as well men as women: Sir Adam is best you hide your head for feare your wise braines take key-colde: on afore Sir Kintilian; Sentlemen fall in before the Ladyes, in seemely order and fashion ”