Various

“ Stead in sentimental attitudes;
They saw me, pirouetted twice, then vanished with a high kick.
"It's nothing," said the Editor; "they are not real, but psychic."
These things, I own, surprised me much; I fidgetted uneasily;
"Why, bless the man, he's had a shock!" said Mr. Stead, quite breezily.
"We do these things the whole year round, it's merely knack to do them;
A man who does them every day gets quite accustomed to them.
This room of mine is full of ghosts,"—it sounded most funereal—
"I've only got to say the word to make them all material. ”

“ Campbell-Bannerman did not add another word, but everyone who knows his kindness of heart will understand his unuttered wish that when in future Walker takes his walks abroad he will be more careful. At least, if his head insists upon meeting swords going the other way, he may be expected to note whether it is the sharp edge or the flat that is out for the day. ”

“ It was towards the close of the London season of 1893 that a man in a strange garb was seen at an early hour in the East End of London. He attracted considerable attention. It was a rough part of the City, still, those who lived there were conventional in their costume. They wore black coats, and there was a certain respectability about their hats. But the man to whom we refer was eccentric in the extreme. His straw hat was worn at the back of his head, his cut-away coat was thrown open, showing a huge, collarless coloured cotton shirt. ”

“ Carried out on a larger scale, before and since Waterloo, similar accidents have had even more direful results. But Campbell-Bannerman, by voice and manner, succeeded in throwing into explanation an amount of conviction that communicated itself to House, and even quietened Don't Keir Hardie. The choice of the word "meeting" was perhaps most exquisite touch in answer. Without venturing upon assertion, it conveyed impression that responsibility for regrettable occurrence was fully shared by Mr. Walker. Meeting implies advance from either side. ”

“ A true suitor may suit her, but, faithless, the brute
Deserves what he'll get, a complete change of suit!
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Lords, Monday, July 24.—Haven't heard much of House of Lords this Session. Will take the floor presently, and show Commons how Legislation should be conducted. For weeks and months they've been slaving round Home-Rule Bill. Noble Lords, with fuller experience, and heaven-born aptitude, undertake to polish it off in a week. Meanwhile have had less work than usual to do. Might even have made long Summer holiday. ”

“ Mr. G. in tremendous force and vigour. In its way it was Campbell-Bannerman's story over again, Joseph's blameless head meeting the sharp edge of Mr. G.'s sword. Where difference came in was in circumstance that no one seemed to regard accident as regrettable. On contrary, whilst the Home-Rulers whooped in wild delight, the Opposition crowded the benches to watch the fun.
Friday, 1.20 a.m.—If there is in the world at this moment a thoroughly astonished man it is John William Logan, Member of Parliament for the South (Harborough) division of Leicestershire. ”

“ Saunderson, providentially in his place, sprang up and advanced to intercept the rolling flood. Crean being on crest of advancing wave found his face, by what Campbell-Bannerman would describe as a "regrettable accident." in contact with the Colonel's fist. Moreover, it was the knuckly end, scarcely less hurtful than the sharp edge of the sword which laid Walker (of London) low. ”

“ From Spirit Land.—The Spirits or Spooks from the vasty deep that can be called and will come when Stead-ily and persistently summoned will not be the first to speak. The "Spooks" well-bred rule of politeness is, "Don't spook till you're spooken to." ”

“ Patriotically insisted upon meeting four times a week, to show, to whom it may concern, that at least they are ready for work.
To-night suddenly blazed forth with amazing vigour. Old friend Evelyn Baring, taking his seat under new style, Lord Cromer, agreeably surprised; House almost full; Opposition in high feather; cheered Cadogan and the Markiss with rare enthusiasm. ”

“ It is unfortunate that the pivot on which the plot turns is so highly improbable as to be almost impossible, for is it not most unlikely that any Catholic, educated or uneducated, should ever write her confession to her confessor, and send it by post, instead of going to him, and making it by word of mouth? ”

“ Mr. G. looked on with troubled face from Treasury Bench. Bartley standing up on edge of scrimmage, pointed accusatory forefinger at him, was saying something, probably opprobrious but at the moment inaudible.
"So like Bartley to go to root of matter," said George Russell, who surveyed scene from sanctuary of Speaker's chair. "Others might accuse Joseph of being responsible for disturbance by likening his old colleague and chief to iniquitous King Herod at the epoch when the worms were waiting to make an end of him. ”

“ Every one in convulsions, and amid roars of laughter the Duke and the Emperor drove off.
CURIOUS CRICKET ANOMALY.
When a batsman has piled up a hundred, or more,
Though five twenties he's hit, he has made but "a score." ”

“ To accomplish the contact, Mr. Walker's head must have advanced in the direction of the sword, which at the moment happened to be going the other way, unfortunately with the sharp edge to the front. Hence, between the two, the abrasion of Mr. Walker's skull. ”