Various

“ Does the tall, somewhat stout gentleman with a white waistcoat, on the Treasury Bench, shake his head? Very well, we will say four days. Going at four days;' and the pencil, scratching out six, substitutes four. This may seem very easy when it's done; but it's art, Toby, even genius. If you think it's easy for a man discussing State business, suddenly but completely to invest the high court of Parliament with the tone and atmosphere of an auction-room, just reckon up how many other men of first rank in public life could do it. ”

“ He looks clever and quite respectable—not in the least picturesque—which is fortunate. I was beginning to doubt whether it was quite prudent to bring Maisie; but I needn't have worried myself.
Lady Maisie (to herself) . Here, actually in the same carriage! Does he guess who I am? Somehow——Well, he certainly is different from what I expected. I thought he would show more signs of having thought and suffered; for he must have suffered to write as he does. ”

“ Exit with other Bills.
The Colonel and the Quiver.—Our own Colonel Saunderson, M.P., was never better at his best than when, in the debate last Thursday night, he said, "If the Bill passes, a quiver of horror will run through every tenant, &c., &c." Of course the gallant Colonel meant "arrow" or "dart," not "quiver." A dart or an arrow will run through a person, piercing him in front, and reappearing at back. But "quiver" doesn't do this sort of thing. An arrow so transfixing a body may make it quiver—but this is another matter. More power to the quivering elbow of the gallant Colonel! ”

“ Be prolong'd as regret that his vassals must know,
Be fair as their faith, and sincere as their woe:
Be so soft, and so fair, and so friendly of voice,
Wafting homeward McGladstone, the Chief of our choice! ”

“ Nevertheless Bartley, not yet breathless, moved his multitudinous Amendment. Resumed his seat with consciousness of man who had done his duty. The Squire would get up to answer him; debate would follow ”

“ Can't be anything wrong with my turn out. Why, of course, they heard Tom talk about my going down to Wyvern Court; think I'm a visitor there and no end of a nob! Well, what snobs some people are, to be sure!
Lady Cantire (to herself) . So this is the young poet I made Albinia ask to meet me. I can't be mistaken, I distinctly heard his friend mention Andromeda. H'm, well, it's a comfort to find he's clean! Have I read his poetry or not? I know I had the book, because I distinctly remember telling Maisie she wasn't to read it—but—well, that's of no consequence. ”

“ Squire of Malwood, who had fled before prospect of long speech from Bartley, hastily brought back. Don't know where incident would have ended had it not been for Kenyon-Slaney. Finding opening he slipped in. Threw himself into easy oratorical attitude; proposed to consider principle of graduation adopted in Bill. Would do so under three heads: injustice to the poor, injustice to the middle-class, injustice to the rich.
This too much even for Opposition. With groans of despair they rushed into Division Lobby; Bartley's scheme negatived by majority of 62. ”

“ Perhaps he was a little fatigued, for Szlumper, in addition to being Mayor of Richmond, is almost human. No man born of woman could with impunity fire off such a succession of telegrams as on that memorable day Szlumper dealt out to his Sovereign, the Heir Apparent to the Throne, the Crowned Heads of Europe, and his ducal neighbours at the White Lodge. But on Royal Christening day Szlumper was around again, with a little Szlumper carrying a bouquet of flowers to be presented to the Queen, whilst Szlumper père, plumped on his knees, welcomed his Sovereign within the gateway of ancient Richmond. ”

“ A sad dog his Lordship; all the women on bended knees to his glory. Who shall own him? What cares he so it be a petticoat? For women go the helter-skelter pace; head-first they plunge or kick like barking cuckoos. ”

“ Lady Maisie (to herself) . The inspiration's stopped—what a pity! How odd of him to read the Globe! I thought he was a Democrat!
Lady Cant. Maisie, there's quite a clever little notice in Society Snippets about the dance at Skympings last week. I'm sure I wonder how they pick up these things; it quite bears out what I was told; says the supper arrangements were "simply disgraceful; no plovers' eggs, and not nearly enough champagne; and what there was, undrinkable!" So like poor dear Lady Chesepare; never does do things like anybody else. ”

“ Not to go further afield, could Prince Arthur manage it, even after a week's training? Very well; then don't minimise a successful effort because, thanks to the commanding influence of native talent, its accomplishment seems easy to a particular person."
Business done.—Hicks-Beach, complaining that Ministers have dropped a large number of Bills for lack of time to pass them, and asserting that the time remaining at their disposal for passing the poor balance is too short, reduces it by three hours, in order that he and his friends may lament the fact. ”

“ Turned out to be exceedingly little. "Government scale has been attacked and defended many times," said Attorney-General. "I do not think it necessary to defend it again; but," here he leaned on the table with engaging look at the now Breathless Bartley, "the hon. gentleman can take a division if he thinks fit."
Bartley sat and audibly gasped. Jokim gallantly protested against this treatment of his hon. friend; threatened to move adjournment of debate. Prince Arthur sent for; arrived almost as breathless as Bartley ”

“ I said; "though why even a millionaire should wear an overcoat a day like this seems wicked waste of property. Hope you are not growing desperate in anticipation of Death Duties; spending your money recklessly so that Harcourt may be disappointed when, for taxing purposes, he comes to aggregate your property?" ”

“ And now, having shown how the thing may be done, we hope that the best man may win. It is pleasant to find Art so greatly appreciated in Devonshire—a county which apparently is as rich and as generous as its own cream!
Post Prandial.—If the geraniums and roses in my Louisa's garden could speak, what celebrated dinner-giver would they name?—Loo! cull us!
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FAREWELL TO McGLADSTONE. (From the Heart of Midlothian.) ”

“ You will observe it is so made that you can button it across and so save a waistcoat. If you must have a waistcoat, we can do it at eight-and-ninepence. As for trousers, these cost me thirteen shillings." (Here he stretched out and fondly regarded a manly leg.) "If I had taken a couple of pair, cut at the same time you know, I could have had the two for 25s. I see your eyes fixed on the boots. As you say, the shape of the foot may have something to do with it. ”

“ Of course I don't wear this suit every day. Can't afford that; put 'em on whenever House in Committee on Army Supply or debate going forward on Army matters. It encourages Cawmell—Bannerman, you know; helps Woodall in getting his clothing vote; and, I believe, is rather liked by Tommy Atkins."
Business done.—Squire of Malwood announces programme for remainder of Session. A mere nothing. Only, as Prince Arthur says, in view of number of Bills and their contentious character, more like what we are accustomed to at beginning of Session, than to have dumped down in what should be its last month. ”

“ Business done.—A dull night speechmaking on Irish Evicted Tenants Bill.
OXFORD AND YALE.— (July 16.)
A very good fight! Come again to us, Yale!
We know a true Yank knows not how to spell "fail."
Hickok and Sheldon can throw and can jump!
And e'en in the racing you made our lads pump
Come again, Yale, come again, and again;
Victors or vanquished such visits aren't vain.
One of these days you will probably nick us.
We don't crow when we lick; we won't cry when you lick us! ”

“ A Hertfordshire Gentleman.—A thoroughly reliable right of way.
Mr. Th-m-s B-ch-m.—A unique collection of signboards in situ. These are placed in the midst of the most lovely natural scenery, and in themselves will very soon, it is hoped, be of historic interest.
Sir Fr-d-r-ck P-ll-ck will arrange in every case to supply a good title.
Mr. Punch heartily commends so patriotic a scheme to his readers. Any beautiful cliffs, ground-rents, rights of way, &c., sent to him at 85, Fleet Street will immediately be forwarded to the proper quarter. ”

“ Oh won't there be jest a rush for places, as every one on 'em is naterally anxious to show his loyelty on so hinteresting an ocasion, tho of course they carnt expec to have heverything exacly the same as they had at Royel Winser.
Robert.
OPERA NOTES. Tuesday, July 17.—"The opera season will terminate July 30." To-night Verdi's opera of Aïda, "with the dotlets on the i." First appearance of Madame Adini, a spacious prima donna who amply fills the part. Giulia Ravogli an excellent Amneris. Opera apparently not particularly attractive, or more powerful attractions elsewhere. ”